CALAF, TRUFFALDINO.
TRUFFALDINO.
(_Comes creeping in cautiously from right,
creeps under the divan._)
Well, thank God! he's gone to sleep at last.
'Sh! 'Sh! (_In the front of the stage before
the footlights._) As my poor old mother used to
say, "A good name is worth a fortune." What
a good name this idiot of a Prince must have,
considering how my gracious Princess is throwing
all her money away on him! Skirina's got some,
Zelima's got some, Brigella's got some. I've got
some, and I'm going to get two purses extra if
I get this young hopeful's name. And I shall
get it! You watch me. I'm going to! (_With
much ceremony he pulls a big turnip, wrapped
in a strip of paper, out of his dress._) Here I
have the famous magic root mandragora. The
Universal Doctor and Great Herbalist Pimpernel,
Market Square, second door to the right, let me
have it for a tanner. Warranted, of course.
Warranted to go two years. Printed instructions
for use attached. (_Unwraps the turnip, reads:_)
"The root mandragora opens all doors, bursts all
locks, raises hidden treasure, confers riches and
wisdom...." (_Looks up._) Aha! just what
I want. (_Reads on:_) "It has influence over
the constellations and the planets, makes the blind
to see and the deaf to hear, is a protection
against the evil eye, heals all maladies of the
mind, depression in men and melancholy in
women...." (_Looks up._) Aha! Depression,
quite so. Melancholy, quite so. (_Reads on:_) "It
confers the gift of second sight, reveals hidden
secrets...." (_Looks up._) Ah! now we have
it. Hidden secrets.... "Let it be placed under
the pillow of the person, whether male or female,
whose secret it is desired to know, when the
said person is asleep. Then the person aforesaid..."
Hurrah! (_jumps for joy_) "will,
by dreaming aloud, communicate what it is desired
to know." Did you hear that? Isn't that the
very thing? (_Creeps up to_ CALAF'S _bed, and,
with excessive caution, places the turnip under
his pillow_.) 'Sh! 'Sh!
(_Draws back a little, and waits, in the
greatest excitement, for what is going
to happen._ CALAF _does not utter a
sound_. _With a disappointed face_
TRUFFALDINO _creeps nearer the bed
again_. CALAF _remains dumb_.)
Do say something, my dear boy! Do say something,
please! (_Waits a little._) Out with the
name, my sweet little lambkin.
(_With transfigured face_ CALAF _whispers
terms of endearment_.)
What's he saying now? Tu... Tu...
Turandot. Oh, bother! I know that name
already, the name of my adored Princess. It's
_your_ name I want to know, my darling boy.
(CALAF _goes on whispering excitedly_. _He
smiles in his happy dream, and raises
himself on his elbow during the following
without opening his eyes_.)
Tu... nothing but Turandot! Well, then, here
I am, duckie. Here I am, lovey, here I am--my
own very self, your own little lovey duckie
Turandot. (_Purses up his lips._ CALAF _smiles
as though in rapture_.) What wouldst thou
have of me, my sweetest heart? Eh? Well,
what? Something like this? (_Smacks his lips._)
Well, then, you _shall_ have it, and more besides.
But first of all, darling, you must tell me your
name, your own delightful, sweet little name, my
honey!...
(CALAF _sinks back and lies dumb again,
sulkily_.)
Oh, you won't, won't you? You really won't?
How nasty of you, my love! Just look at me.
See how pretty I am! (_Trips coquettishly up
and down in front of the bed._) Look at my
lovely white arms and my lovely plump legs,
and my glorious hair hanging all down my back!
...Just look at it, my sweet little chick!
(CALAF _begins to whisper excitedly, raising
himself the while_.)
That's right, that's right, quite so: talk, talk,
my bonny babe! (_Bends down again, till his
mouth almost touches the sleeper's._) Once again,
my sweet one! Say it once again, my little white
lambkin! It shall have its kiss, it shall, right
away.
(CALAF _turns suddenly and violently round
on the other side, and deals him a ringing
box on the ear_. (_Squeaking noisily_,
TRUFFALDINO _runs away_. CALAF _sits
up for a moment in astonishment, opens
his eyes, shuts them again immediately,
and sinks back on his couch_.)