209. There are so many things relating to marriages that, if
particularly treated of, they would swell this little work into a large
volume: for we might treat particularly of the similitude and
dissimilitude subsisting among married partners; of the elevation of
natural conjugial love into spiritual, and of their conjunction; of the
increase of the one and the decrease of the other; of the varieties and
diversities of each; of the intelligence of wives; of the universal
conjugial sphere proceeding from heaven, and of its opposite from hell,
and of their influx and reception; with many other particulars, which,
if individually enlarged upon, would render this work so bulky as to
tire the reader. For this reason, and to avoid useless prolixity, we
will condense these particulars into UNIVERSAL RESPECTING MARRIAGES. But
these, like the foregoing subjects, must be considered distinctly as
arranged under the following articles: I. _The sense proper to conjugial
love is the sense of touch._ II. _With those who are in love truly
conjugial, the faculty of growing wise gradually increases; but with
those who are not it decreases._ III. _With those who are in love truly
conjugial the happiness of dwelling together increases; but with those
who are not it decreases._ IV. _With those who are in love truly
conjugial, conjunction of minds increases, and therewith friendship; but
with those who are not they both decrease._ V. _Those who are in love
truly conjugial continually desire to be one man (homo); but those who
are not desire to be two._ VI. _Those who are in love truly conjugial,
in marriage have respect to what is eternal; but with those who are not
the case is reversed._ VII. _Conjugial love resides with chaste wives;
but still their love depends on the husbands._ VIII. _Wives love the
bonds of marriage if the men do._ IX. _The intelligence of women is in
itself modest, elegant, pacific, yielding, soft, tender; but the
intelligence of men is in itself grave, harsh, hard, daring, fond of
licentiousness_. X. _Wives are in no excitation as men are; but they
have a state of preparation for reception._ XI. _Men have abundant store
according to the love of propagating the truths of their wisdom, and to
the love of doing uses._ XII. _Determination is in the good pleasure of
the husband._ XIII. _The conjugial sphere flows from the Lord through
heaven into everything in the universe, even to its ultimates._ XIV.
_This sphere is received by the female sex, and through that is
transferred into the male sex; and not_ vice versa. XV. _Where there is
love truly conjugial, this sphere is received by the wife, and only
through her by the husband._ XVI. _Where there is love not conjugial,
this sphere is received indeed by the wife, but not by the husband
through her._ XVII. _Love truly conjugial may exist with one of the
married partners and not at the same time with the other._ XVIII. _There
are various similitudes and dissimilitudes, both internal and external,
with married partners._ XIX. _Various similitudes can be conjoined, but
not with dissimilitudes._ XX. _The Lord provides similitudes for those
who desire love truly conjugial; and if not on earth, he yet provides
them in heaven._ XXI. _A man (homo) according to the deficiency and loss
of conjugial love, approaches to the nature of a beast._ We proceed to
the explanation of each article.
210. I. THE SENSE PROPER TO CONJUGIAL LOVE IS THE SENSE OF TOUCH. Every
love has its own proper sense. The love of seeing, grounded in the love
of understanding, has the sense of seeing; and the gratifications proper
to it are the various kinds of symmetry and beauty. The love of hearing
grounded in the love of hearkening to and obeying, has the sense of
hearing; and the gratifications proper to it are the various kinds of
harmony. The love of knowing these things which float about in the air,
grounded in the love of perceiving, is the sense of smelling; and the
gratifications proper to it are the various kinds of fragrance. The love
of self-nourishment, grounded in the love of imbibing goods, is the
sense of tasting; and the delights proper to it are the various kinds of
delicate foods. The love of knowing objects, grounded in the love of
circumspection and self-preservation, is the sense of touching, and the
gratifications proper to it are the various kinds of titillation. The
reason why the love of conjunction with a partner, grounded in the love
of uniting good and truth, has the sense of touch proper to it, is,
because this sense is common to all the senses, and hence borrows from
them somewhat of support and nourishment. That this love brings all the
above-mentioned senses into communion with it, and appropriates their
gratification, is well known. That the sense of touch is devoted to
conjugial love, and is proper to it, is evident from all its sports, and
from the exaltation of its subtleties to the highest degree of what is
exquisite. But the further consideration of this subject we leave to
lovers.
211. II. WITH THOSE WHO ARE IN LOVE TRULY CONJUGIAL, THE FACULTY OF
GROWING WISE INCREASES; BUT WITH THOSE WHO ARE NOT IT DECREASES. The
faculty of growing wise increases with those who are in love truly
conjugial, because this love appertains to married partners on account
of wisdom, and according to it, as has been fully proved in the
preceding sections; also, because the sense of that love is the touch,
which is common to all the senses, and also is full of delights; in
consequence of which it opens the interiors of the mind, as it opens the
interiors of the senses, and therewith the organical principles of the
whole body. Hence it follows, that those who are principled in that
love, prefer nothing to growing wise; for a man grows wise in proportion
as the interiors of his mind are opened; because by such opening, the
thoughts of the understanding are elevated into superior light, and the
affections of the will into superior heat; and superior light is wisdom,
and superior heat is the love thereof. Spiritual delights conjoined to
natural delights, which are the portion of those who are in love truly
conjugial, constitute loveliness, and thence the faculty of growing
wise. Hence it is that the angels have conjugial love according to
wisdom; and the increase of that love and at the same time of its
delights is according to the increase of wisdom; and spiritual
offspring, which are produced from their marriages, are such things as
are of wisdom from the father, and of love from the mother, which they
love from a spiritual _storge_; which love unites with their conjugial
love, and continually elevates it, and joins them together.
212. The contrary happens with those who are not in any conjugial love,
from not having any love of wisdom. These enter the marriage state with
no other end in view than lasciviousness, in which is also the love of
growing insane; for every end considered in itself is a love, and
lasciviousness in its spiritual origin is insanity. By insanity we mean
a delirium in the mind occasioned by false principles; and an eminent
degree of delirium is occasioned by truths which are falsified until
they are believed to be wisdom. That such persons are opposed to
conjugial love, is confirmed or evinced by manifest proof in the
spiritual world; where, on perceiving the first scent of conjugial love,
they fly into caverns, and shut the doors; and if these are opened, they
rave like madmen in the world.
213. III. WITH THOSE WHO ARE IN LOVE TRULY CONJUGIAL, THE HAPPINESS OF
DWELLING TOGETHER INCREASES; BUT WITH THOSE WHO ARE NOT IT DECREASES.
The happiness of dwelling together increases with those who are in love
truly conjugial, because they mutually love each other with every sense.
The wife sees nothing more lovely than the husband, and the husband
nothing more lovely than the wife; neither do they hear, smell, or touch
any thing more lovely; hence the happiness they enjoy of living together
in the same house, chamber, and bed. That this is the case, you that are
husbands can assure yourselves from the first delights of marriage,
which are in their fulness; because at that time the wife is the only
one of the sex that is loved. That the reverse is the case with those
who are not in conjugial love, is well known.
214. IV. WITH THOSE WHO ARE IN LOVE TRULY CONJUGIAL CONJUNCTION OF MINDS
INCREASES, AND THEREWITH FRIENDSHIP; BUT WITH THOSE WHO ARE NOT, THEY
BOTH DECREASE. That conjunction of minds increases with those who are in
love truly conjugial, was proved in the chapter ON THE CONJUNCTION OF
SOULS AND MINDS BY MARRIAGE, WHICH IS MEANT BY THE LORD'S WORDS, THAT
THEY ARE NO LONGER TWO BUT ONE FLESH, see n. 156*-191. But that
conjunction increases as friendship unites with love; because friendship
is as it were the face and also the raiment of that love; for it not
only joins itself to love as raiment, but also conjoins itself thereto
as a face. Love preceding friendship is like the love of the sex, which,
after the marriage vow, takes its leave and departs; whereas love
conjoined to friendship after the marriage vow, remains and is
strengthened; it likewise outers more interiorly into the breast,
friendship introducing it, and making it truly conjugial. In this case
the love makes its friendship also conjugial, which differs greatly from
the friendship of every other love; for it is full. That the case is
reversed with those who are not principled in conjugial love, is well
known. With these, the first friendship, which was insinuated during the
time of courtship, and afterwards during the period immediately
succeeding marriage, recedes more and more from the interiors of the
mind, and thence successively at length retires to the cuticles; and
with those who think of separation it entirely departs; but with those
who do not think of separation, love remains in the externals, yet it is
cold in the internals.
215. V. THOSE WHO ARE IN LOVE TRULY CONJUGIAL, CONTINUALLY DESIRE TO BE
ONE MAN, BUT THOSE WHO ARE NOT IN CONJUGIAL LOVE, DESIRE TO BE TWO.
Conjugial love essentially consists in the desire of two to become one;
that is, in their desire that two lives may become one life. This desire
is the perpetual _conatus_ of that love, from which flow all its
effects. That _conatus_ is the very essence of motion, and that desire
is the living _conatus_ appertaining to man, is confirmed by the
researches of philosophers, and is also evident to such as take a view
of the subject from refined reason. Hence it follows, that those who are
in love truly conjugial, continually endeavour, that is, desire to be
one man. That the contrary is the case with those who are not in
conjugial love, they themselves very well know; for as they continually
think themselves two from the disunion of their souls and minds, so they
do not comprehend what is meant by the Lord's words, "_They are no
longer two, but one flesh_;" Matt. xix. 6.
216. VI. THOSE WHO ARE IN LOVE TRULY CONJUGIAL, IN MARRIAGE HAVE RESPECT
TO WHAT IS ETERNAL; BUT WITH THOSE WHO ARE NOT THE CASE IS REVERSED.
Those who are in love truly conjugial have respect to what is eternal,
because in that love there is eternity; and its eternity is grounded in
this, that love with the wife, and wisdom with the husband, increases to
eternity; and in the increase or progression the married partners enter
more and more interiorly into the blessedness of heaven, which their
wisdom and its love have stored up together in themselves: if therefore
the idea of what is eternal were to be plucked away, or by any casualty
to escape from their minds, it would be as if they were cast down from
heaven. What is the state of conjugial partners in heaven, when the idea
of what is eternal falls out of their minds, and the idea of what is
temporal takes its place, was made evident to me from the following
case. On a certain time, permission having been granted for the purpose,
two married partners were present with me from heaven: and at that
instant the idea of what is eternal respecting marriage was taken away
from them by an idle disorderly spirit who was talking with craft and
subtlety. Hereupon they began to bewail themselves, saying, that they
could not live any longer, and that they felt such misery as they had
never felt before. When this was perceived by their co-angels in heaven,
the disorderly spirit was removed and cast down; whereupon the idea of
what is eternal instantly returned to them, and they were gladdened in
heart, and most tenderly embraced each other. Besides this, I have heard
two married partners, who at one instant entertained an idea of what is
eternal respecting their marriage, and the next an idea of what is
temporal. This arose from their being internally dissimilar. When they
were in the idea of what is eternal, they were mutually glad; but when
in the idea of what is temporal, they said, "There is no longer any
marriage between us;" and the wife, "I am no longer a wife, but a
concubine;" and the husband, "I am no longer a husband, but an
adulterer;" wherefore while their internal dissimilitude was open to
them, the man left the woman, and the woman the man: afterwards,
however, as each had an idea of what is eternal respecting marriage,
they were consociated with suitable partners. From these instances it
may be clearly seen, that those who are in love truly conjugial have
respect to what is eternal; and if this idea escapes from their inmost
thoughts, they are disunited as to conjugial love, though not at the
same time as to friendship; for friendship dwells in externals, but
conjugial love in internals. The case is similar with marriages on
earth, where married partners who tenderly love each other, think of
what is eternal respecting the marriage-covenant, and not at all of its
termination by death; and if this should enter their thoughts, they are
grieved; nevertheless they are cherished again by hope from the thought
of its continuance after their decease.
[Transcriber's Note: The out-of-order section number which follows is in
the original text, as is the asterisk which does not seem to indicate a
footnote.]
216.* VII. CONJUGIAL LOVE RESIDES WITH CHASTE WIVES; BUT STILL THEIR
LOVE DEPENDS ON THE HUSBANDS. The reason of this is, because wives are
born loves; and hence it is innate to them to desire to be one with
their husbands and from this thought of their will they continually feed
their love; wherefore to recede from the _conatus_ of uniting themselves
to their husbands, would be to recede from themselves: it is otherwise
with the husbands, who are not born loves, but recipients of that love
from their wives; and on this account, so far as they receive it, so far
the wives enter with their love; but so far as they do not receive it,
so far the wives stand aloof with their love, and wait in expectation.
This is the case with chaste wives; but it is otherwise with the
unchaste. From these considerations it is evident, that conjugial love
resides with the wives, but that their love depends on the husbands.
217. VIII. WIVES LOVE THE BONDS OF MARRIAGE IF THE MEN DO. This follows
from what was said in the foregoing article: moreover, wives naturally
desire to be, and to be called wives; this being to them a name of
respect and honor; they therefore love the bonds of marriage. And as
chaste wives desire, not in name only, but in reality, to be wives, and
this is effected by a closer and closer binding with their husbands,
therefore they love the bonds of marriage as establishing the
marriage-covenant, and this so much the more as they are loved again by
their husbands, or what is tantamount, as the men love those bonds.
218. IX. THE INTELLIGENCE OF WOMEN IS IN ITSELF MODEST, ELEGANT,
PACIFIC, YIELDING, SOFT, TENDER; BUT THE INTELLIGENCE OF MEN IN ITSELF
IS GRAVE, HARSH, HARD, DARING, FOND OF LICENTIOUSNESS. That such is the
characteristic distinction of the woman and the man, is very evident
from the body, the face, the tone of voice, the conversation, the
gesture, and the manners of each: from the BODY, in that there is more
hardness in the skin and flesh of men, and more softness in that of
women; from the FACE, in that it is harder, more fixed, harsher, of
darker complexion, also bearded, thus less beautiful in men; whereas in
women it is softer, more yielding, more tender, of fairer complexion,
and thence more beautiful; from the TONE OF VOICE, in that it is deeper
with men, and sweeter with women; from the CONVERSATION in that with men
it is given to licentiousness and daring, but with women it is modest
and pacific; from the GESTURE, in that with men it is stronger and
firmer, whereas with women it is more weak and feeble; from the MANNERS,
in that with men they are more unrestrained, but with women more
elegant. How far from the very cradle the genius of men differs from
that of women, was discovered to me clearly from seeing a number of boys
and girls met together. I saw them at times through a window in the
street of a great city, where more than twenty assembled every day. The
boys, agreeably to the disposition born with them, in their pastimes
were tumultuous, vociferous, apt to fight, to strike, and to throw
stones at each other; whereas the girls sat peaceably at the doors of
the houses, some playing with little children, some dressing dolls or
working on bits of linen, some kissing each other; and to my surprise,
they still looked with satisfaction at the boys whose pastimes were so
different from their own. Hence I could see plainly, that a man by birth
is understanding, and a woman, love; and also the quality of
understanding and of love in their principles; and thereby what would be
the quality of a man's understanding without conjunction with female
love, and afterwards with conjugial love.
219. X. WIVES ARE IN NO EXCITATION AS MEN ARE; BUT THEY HAVE A STATE OF
PREPARATION FOR RECEPTION. That men have semination and consequent
excitation, and that women have not the latter because they have not the
former, is evident, but that women have a state of preparation for
reception, and thus for conception, I relate from what has been told me;
but what the nature and quality of this state with the women is, I am
not allowed to describe; besides, it is known to them alone: but whether
their love, while they are in that state, is in the enjoyment of its
delight, or in what is undelightful, as some say, they have not made
known. This only is generally known, that it is not allowed the husband
to say to the wife, that he is able and not willing: for thereby the
state of reception is greatly hurt, which is prepared according to the
state of the husband's ability.
220. XI. MEN HAVE ABUNDANT STORE ACCORDING TO THE LOVE OF PROPAGATING
THE TRUTHS OF WISDOM, AND TO THE LOVE OF DOING USES. This position is
one of the arcana which were known to the ancients, and which are now
lost. The ancients knew that everything which was done in the body is
from a spiritual origin: as that from the will, which in itself is
spiritual, actions flow; that from the thought, which also is spiritual,
speech flows; also that natural sight is grounded in spiritual sight,
which is that of the understanding; natural hearing in spiritual
hearing, which is attention of the understanding and at the same time
accommodation of the will; and natural smelling in spiritual smelling,
which is perception; and so forth: in like manner they saw that
semination with men is from a spiritual origin. That it is from the
truths of which the understanding consists, they concluded from several
deductions both of reason and of experience; and they asserted, that
nothing is received by males from the spiritual marriage, which is that
of good and truth, and which flows into everything in the universe, but
truth, and whatever has relation to truth; and that this in its progress
into the body is formed into seed; and that hence it is, that seeds
spiritually understood are truths. As to formation, they asserted, that
the masculine soul, as being intellectual, is thus truth; for the
intellectual principle is nothing else; wherefore while the soul
descends, truth also descends: that this is effected by this
circumstance, that the soul, which is the inmost principle of every man
(_homo_) and every animal, and which in its essence is spiritual, from
an implanted tendency to self-propagation, follows in the descent, and
is desirous to procreate itself; and that when this is the case, the
entire soul forms itself, and clothes itself, and becomes seed: and that
this may be done thousands of times, because the soul is a spiritual
substance, which is not a subject of extension but of impletion, and
from which no part can be taken away, but the whole may be produced,
without any loss thereof: hence it is, that it is as fully present in
the smallest receptacles, which are seeds, as in its greatest
receptacle, the body. Since therefore the principle of truth in the soul
is the origin of seed, it follows, that men have abundant store
according to their love of propagating the truths of their wisdom: it is
also according to their love of doing uses; because uses are the goods
which truths produce. In the world also it is well known to some, that
the industrious have abundant store, but not the idle. I inquired, "How
is a feminine principle produced from a male soul?" and I received for
answer, that it was from intellectual good; because this in its essence
is truth: for the intellect can think that this is good, thus that it is
true that it is good. It is otherwise with the will: this does not think
what is good and true, but loves and does it. Therefore in the Word sons
signify truths, and daughters goods, as may be seen above, n. 120; and
seed signifies truth, as may be seen in the APOCALYPSE REVEALED, n. 565.
221. XII. DETERMINATION IS IN THE GOOD PLEASURE OF THE HUSBAND. This is,
because with men there is the abundant store above mentioned; and this
varies with them according to the states of their minds and bodies: for
the understanding is not so constant in its thoughts as the will is in
its affections; since it is sometimes carried upwards, sometimes
downwards; at one time it is in a serene and clear state in another in a
turbulent and obscure one; sometimes it is employed on agreeable
objects, sometimes on disagreeable; and as the mind, while it acts, is
also in the body, it follows, that the body has similar states: hence
the husband at times recedes from conjugial love, and at times accedes
to it, and the abundant store is removed in the one state, and restored
in the other. These are the reasons why determination at all times is to
be left to the good pleasure of the husband: hence also it is that
wives, from a wisdom implanted in them, never offer any admonition on
such subjects.
222. XIII. THE CONJUGIAL SPHERE FLOWS FROM THE LORD THROUGH HEAVEN INTO
EVERYTHING IN THE UNIVERSE, EVEN TO ITS ULTIMATES. That love and wisdom,
or, what is the same, good and truth, proceed from the Lord, was shewn
above in a chapter on the subject. Those two principles in a marriage
proceed continually from the Lord, because they are himself, and from
him are all things; and the things which proceed from him fill the
universe, for unless this were the case, nothing which exists would
subsist. There are several spheres which proceed from him; the sphere of
the conservation of the created universe; the sphere of the defence of
good and truth against evil and false, the sphere of reformation and
regeneration, the sphere of innocence and peace, the sphere of mercy and
grace, with several others; but the universal of all is the conjugial
sphere, because this also is the sphere of propagation, and thus the
supereminent sphere of the conservation of the created universe by
successive generations. That this conjugial sphere fills the universe,
and pervades all things from first to last, is evident from what has
been shewn above, that there are marriages in the heavens, and the most
perfect in the third or supreme heaven: and that besides taking place
with men it takes place also with all the subjects of the animal kingdom
in the earth, even down to worms; and moreover with all the subjects of
the vegetable kingdom, from olives and palms even to the smallest
grasses. That this sphere is more universal than the sphere of heat and
light, which proceeds from the sun of our world, may appear reasonable
from this consideration, that it operates also in the absence of the
sun's heat, as in winter, and in the absence of its light, as in the
night, especially with men (_homines_). The reason why it so operates
is, because it was from the sun of the angelic heaven, and thence there
is a constant equation of heat and light, that is, a conjunction of good
and truth; for it is in a continual spring. The changes of good and
truth, or of its heat and light, are not variations thereof, like the
variations on earth arising from changes of the heat and light
proceeding from the natural sun; but they arise from the recipient
subjects.
223. XIV. THIS SPHERE IS RECEIVED BY THE FEMALE SEX, AND THROUGH THAT IS
TRANSFERRED TO THE MALE SEX. There is not any conjugial love
appertaining to the male sex, but it appertains solely to the female
sex, and from this sex is transferred to the male: this I have seen
evidenced by experience; concerning which see above, n. 161. A further
proof of it is supplied from this consideration, that the male form is
the intellectual form, and the female the voluntary; and the
intellectual form cannot grow warm with conjugial heat from itself, but
from the conjunctive heat of some one, in whom it was implanted from
creation; consequently it cannot receive that love except by the
voluntary form of the woman adjoined to itself; because this also is a
form of love. This same position might be further confirmed by the
marriage of good and truth; and, to the natural man, by the marriage of
the heart and lungs; for the heart corresponds to love, and the lungs to
understanding; but as the generality of mankind are deficient in the
knowledge of these subjects, confirmation thereby would tend rather to
obscure than to illustrate. It is in consequence of the transference of
this sphere from the female sex into the male, that the mind is also
inflamed solely from thinking about the sex; that hence also comes
propagative formation and thereby excitation, follows of course; for
unless heat is united to light on earth, nothing flourishes and is
excited to cause fructification there.
224. XV. WHERE THERE IS LOVE TRULY CONJUGIAL, THIS SPHERE IS RECEIVED BY
THE WIFE, AND ONLY THROUGH HER BY THE HUSBAND. That this sphere, with
those who are in love truly conjugial, is received by the husband only
through the wife, is at this day an arcanum; and yet in itself it is not
an arcanum, because the bridegroom and new-married husband may know
this; is he not affected conjugially by whatever proceeds from the bride
and new-married wife, but not at that time by what proceeds from others
of the sex? The case is the same with those who live together in love
truly conjugial. And since everyone, both man and woman, is encompassed
by his own sphere of life, densely on the breast, and less densely on
the back, it is manifest whence it is that husbands who are very fond of
their wives, turn themselves to them, and in the day-time regard them
with complacency; and on the other hand, why those who do not love their
wives, turn themselves away from them, and in the day-time regard them
with aversion. By the reception of the conjugial sphere by the husband
only through the wife, love truly conjugial is known and distinguished
from that which is spurious, false, and cold.
225. XVI. WHERE THERE IS LOVE NOT CONJUGIAL, THIS SPHERE IS RECEIVED
INDEED BY THE WIFE, BUT NOT BY THE HUSBAND THROUGH HER. This conjugial
sphere flowing into the universe is in its origin divine; in its
progress in heaven with the angels it is celestial and spiritual; with
men it is natural, with beasts and birds animal, with worms merely
corporeal, with vegetables it is void of life; and moreover in all its
subjects it is varied according to their forms. Now as this sphere is
received immediately by the female sex, and mediately by the male, and
as it is received according to forms, it follows, that this sphere,
which in its origin is holy, may in the subjects be turned into what is
not holy, yea may be even inverted into what is opposite. The sphere
opposite to it is called meretricious with such women, and adulterous
with such men; and as such men and women are in hell, this sphere is
from thence: but of this sphere there is also much variety, and hence
there are several species of it; and such a species is attracted and
appropriated by a man (_vir_) as is agreeable to him, and as is
conformable and correspondent with his peculiar temper and disposition.
From these considerations it may appear, that the man who does not love
his wife, receives that sphere from some other source than from his
wife; nevertheless it is a fact, that it is also inspired by the wife,
but without the husband's knowing it, and while he grows warm.
226. XVII. LOVE TRULY CONJUGIAL MAY EXIST WITH ONE OF THE MARRIED
PARTNERS, AND NOT AT THE SAME TIME WITH THE OTHER. For one may from the
heart devote himself to chaste marriage, while the other knows not what
chaste marriage is; one may love the things which are of the church, but
the other those which are of the world alone: as to their minds, one may
be in heaven, the other in hell; hence there may be conjugial love with
the one, and not with the other. The minds of such, since they are
turned in a contrary direction, are inwardly in collision with each
other; and if not outwardly, still, he that is not in conjugial love,
regards his lawful consort as a tiresome old woman; and so in other
cases.
227. XVIII. THERE ARE VARIOUS SIMILITUDES AND DISSIMILITUDES, BOTH
INTERNAL AND EXTERNAL, WITH MARRIED PARTNERS. It is well known, that
between married partners there are similitudes and dissimilitudes, and
that the external appear, but not the internal, except after some time
of living together, to the married partners themselves, and by
indications to others; but it would be useless to mention each so that
they might be known, since several pages might be filled with an account
and description of their varieties. Similitudes may in part be deduced
and concluded from the dissimilitudes on account of which conjugial love
is changed into cold; of which we shall speak in the following chapter.
Similitudes and dissimilitudes in general originate from connate
inclinations, varied by education, connections, and persuasions that
have been imbibed.
228. XIX. VARIOUS SIMILITUDES CAN BE CONJOINED, BUT NOT WITH
DISSIMILITUDES. The varieties of similitudes are very numerous, and
differ more or less from each other; but still those which differ may in
time be conjoined by various things, especially by accommodations to
desires, by mutual offices and civilities, by abstaining from what is
unchaste, by the common love of infants and the care of children, but
particularly by conformity in things relating to the church; for things
relating to the church effect a conjunction of similitudes differing
interiorly, other things only exteriorly. But with dissimilitudes no
conjunction can be effected, because they are antipathetical.
229. XX. THE LORD PROVIDES SIMILITUDES FOR THOSE WHO DESIRE LOVE TRULY
CONJUGIAL, AND IF NOT ON EARTH, HE YET PROVIDES THEM IN HEAVEN. The
reason of this is, because all marriages of love truly conjugial are
provided by the Lord. That they are from him, may be seen above, n. 130,
131; but in what manner they are provided in heaven, I have heard thus
described by the angels: The divine providence of the Lord extends to
everything, even to the minutest particulars, concerning marriages and
in marriages, because all the delights of heaven spring from the
delights of conjugial love, as sweet waters from the fountain-head; and
on this account it is provided that conjugial pairs be born; and that
they be continually educated to their several marriages under the Lord's
auspices, neither the boy nor the girl knowing anything of the matter;
and after a stated time, when they both become marriageable, they meet
in some place as by chance, and see each other, and in this case they
instantly know, as by a kind of instinct, that they are a pair, and by a
kind of inward dictate think within themselves, the youth, that she is
mine, and the maiden, that he is mine; and when this thought has existed
some time in the mind of each, they accost each other from a deliberate
purpose, and betroth themselves. It is said, as by chance, by instinct,
and by dictate; and the meaning is, by divine providence; since, while
the divine providence is unknown, it has such an appearance; for the
Lord opens internal similitudes, so that they may see themselves.
230. XXI. A MAN (_homo_) ACCORDING TO THE DEFICIENCY AND LOSS OF
CONJUGIAL LOVE, APPROACHES TO THE NATURE OF A BEAST. The reason of this
is, because so far as a man (_homo_) is in conjugial love, so far he is
spiritual, and so far as he is spiritual, so far he is a man (_homo_);
for a man is born to a life after death, and attains the possession
thereof in consequence of having in him a spiritual soul, and is capable
of being elevated thereto by the faculty of his understanding; if in
this case his will, from the faculty also granted to it, is elevated at
the same time, he lives after death the life of heaven. The contrary
comes to pass, if he is in a love opposite to conjugial love; for so far
as he is in this opposite love, so far he is natural; and a merely
natural man is like a beast as to lusts and appetites, and to their
delights; with this difference only, that he has the faculty of
elevating his understanding into the light of wisdom, and also of
elevating his will into the heat of celestial love. These faculties are
never taken away from airy man (_homo_); therefore the merely natural
man, although as to concupiscences and appetites and their delights, he
is like a beast, still lives after death, but in a state corresponding
to his past life. From these considerations it may appear that a man,
according to the deficiency of conjugial love, approaches to the nature
of a beast. This position may seem to be contradicted by the
consideration, that there are a deficiency and loss of conjugial love
with some who yet are men (_homines_); but the position is meant to be
confined to those who make light of conjugial love from a principle of
adulterous love, and who therefore are in such deficiency and loss.
* * * * *
231. To the above I shall add THREE MEMORABLE RELATIONS. FIRST. I once
heard loud exclamations, which issued from the hells, with a noise as if
they bubbled up through water: one to the left hand, in these words, "O
HOW JUST!" another to the right, "O HOW LEARNED!" and a third from
behind, "O HOW WISE!" and as I was in doubt whether there are also in
hell persons of justice, learning, and wisdom, I was impressed with a
strong desire of seeing what was the real case; and a voice from heaven
said to me, "You shall see and hear." I therefore in spirit went out of
the house, and saw before me an opening, which I approached; and looked
down; and lo! there was a ladder, by which I descended: and when I was
down, I observed a level country set thick with shrubs, intermixed with
thorns and nettles; and on my asking, whether this was hell, I was told
it was the lower earth next above hell. I then continued my course in a
direction according to the exclamations in order; first to those who
exclaimed, "O HOW JUST!" where I saw a company consisting of such as in
the world had been judges influenced by friendship and gifts; then to
the second exclamation, "O HOW LEARNED!" where I saw a company of such
as in the world had been reasoners; and lastly to the third exclamation,
"O HOW WISE!" where I saw a company such as in the world had been
confirmators. From these I returned to the first, where there were
judges influenced by friendship and gifts, and who were proclaimed
"Just." On one side I saw as it were an amphitheatre built of brick, and
covered with black slates; and I was told that they called it a
tribunal. There were three entrances to it on the north, and three on
the west, but none on the south and east; a proof that their decisions
were not those of justice, but were arbitrary determinations. In the
middle of the amphitheatre there was a fire, into which the servants who
attended threw torches of sulphur and pitch; the light whereof, by its
vibrations on the plastered walls, presented pictured images of birds of
the evening and night; but both the fire and the vibrations of light
thence issuing, together with the forms of the images thereby produced,
were representations that in their decisions they could adorn the matter
of any debate with colored dyes, and give it a form according to their
own interest. In about half an hour I saw some old men and youths in
robes and cloaks, enter the amphitheatre, who, laying aside their caps,
took their seats at the tables, in order to sit in judgement. I heard
and perceived with what cunning and ingenuity, under the impulse of
prejudice in favor of their friends, they warped and inverted judgement
so as to give it an appearance of justice, and this to such a degree,
that they themselves saw what was unjust as just, and on the other hand
what was just as unjust. Such persuasions respecting the points to be
decided upon, appeared from their countenances, and were heard from
their manner of speaking. I then received illustration from heaven, from
which I perceived how far each point was grounded in right or not; and I
saw how industriously they concealed what was unjust, and gave it a
semblance of what was just; and how they selected some particular
statute which favored their own side of the question, and by cunning
reasonings warped the rest to the same side. After judgement was given,
the decrees were conveyed to their clients, friends and favorers, who,
to recompense them for their services, continued to shout, "O HOW JUST,
O HOW JUST!" After this I conversed respecting them with the angels of
heaven, and related to them some of the things I had seen and heard. The
angels said to me, "Such judges appear to others to be endowed with a
most extraordinary acuteness of intellect; when yet they do not at all
see what is just and equitable. If you remove the prejudices of
friendship in favor of particular persons, they sit mute in judgement
like so many statues, and only say, 'I acquiesce, and am entirely of
your opinion on this point.' This happens because all their judgements
are prejudices; and prejudice with partiality influences the case in
question from beginning to end. Hence they see nothing but what is
connected with their friend's interest; and whatever is contrary
thereto, they set aside; or if they pay any attention to it, they
involve it in intricate reasonings, as a spider wraps up its prey in a
web, and make an end of it; hence, unless they follow the web of their
prejudice, they see nothing of what is right. They were examined whether
they were able to see it, and it was discovered that they were not. That
this is the case, will seem wonderful to the inhabitants of your world;
but tell them it is a truth that has been investigated by the angels of
heaven. As they see nothing of what is just, we in heaven regard them
not as men but as monsters, whose heads are constituted of things
relating to friendship, their breasts of those relating to injustice,
their feet of those which relate to confirmation, and the soles of the
feet of those things which relate to justice, which they supplant and
trample under foot, in case they are unfavorable to the interests of
their friend. But of what quality they appear to us from heaven, you
shall presently see; for their end is at hand." And lo! at that instant
the ground was cleft asunder, and the tables fell one upon another, and
they were swallowed up, together with the whole amphitheatre, and were
cast into caverns, and imprisoned. It was then said to me, "Do you wish
to see them where they now are?" And lo! their faces appeared as of
polished steel, their bodies from the neck to the loins as graven images
of stone clothed with leopards' skins, and their feet like snakes: the
law books too, which they had arranged in order on the tables, were
changed into packs of cards: and now, instead of sitting in judgement,
the office appointed to them is to prepare vermilion and mix it up into
a paint, to bedaub the faces of harlots and thereby turn them into
beauties.
After seeing these things, I was desirous to visit the two other
assemblies, one of which consisted of mere reasoners, and the other of
mere confirmators; and it was said to me, "Stop awhile, and you shall
have attendant angels from the society next above them; by these you
will receive light from the Lord and will see what will surprise you."
232. THE SECOND MEMORABLE RELATION. After some time I heard again from
the lower earth voices exclaiming as before, "O HOW LEARNED! O HOW
WISE!" I looked round to see what angels were present; and lo! they were
from the heaven immediately above those who cried out, "O HOW LEARNED!"
and I conversed with them respecting the cry, and they said, "Those
learned ones are such as only reason _whether a thing be so or not_, and
seldom think _that it is so_; therefore, they are like winds which blow
and pass away, like the bark about trees which are without sap, or like
shells about almonds without a kernel, or like the outward rind about
fruit without pulp; for their minds are void of interior judgement, and
are united only with the bodily senses; therefore unless the senses
themselves decide, they can conclude nothing; in a word, they are merely
sensual, and we call them REASONERS. We give them this name, because
they never conclude anything, and make whatever they hear a matter of
argument, and dispute whether it be so, with perpetual contradiction.
They love nothing better than to attack essential truths, and so to pull
them in pieces as to make them a subject of dispute. These are those who
believe themselves learned above the rest of the world." On hearing this
account, I entreated the angels to conduct me to them: so they led me to
a cave, from which there was a flight of steps leading to the earth
below. We descended and followed the shout, "O HOW LEARNED!" and lo!
there were some hundreds standing in one place, beating the ground with
their feet. Being at first surprised at this sight, I inquired the
reason of their standing in that manner and beating the ground with the
soles of their feet, and said, "They may thus by their feet make holes
in the floor." At this the angel smiled and said, "They appear to stand
in this manner, because they never think on any subject that it is so,
but only whether it is so, and dispute about it; and when the thinking
principle proceeds no further than this, they appear only to tread and
trample on a single clod, and not to advance." Upon this I approached
the assembly, and lo! they appeared to me to be good-looking men and
well dressed; but the angels said, "This is their appearance when viewed
in their own light; but if light from heaven flows in, their faces are
changed, and so is their dress;" and so it came to pass: they then
appeared with dark faces, and dressed in black sackcloth; but when this
light was withdrawn, they appeared as before. I presently entered into
conversation with some of them, and said, "I heard the shout of a crowd
about you, '_O how learned!_' may I be allowed therefore to have a
little conversation with you on subjects of the highest learning?" they
replied, "Mention any subject, and we will give you satisfaction." I
then asked, "What must be the nature of that religion by which a man is
saved?" They said, "We will divide this subject into several parts; and
we cannot answer it until we have concluded on its subdivisions. The
first inquiry shall be, Whether religion be anything? the second,
Whether there be such a thing as salvation or not? the third, Whether
one religion be more efficacious than another? the fourth, Whether there
be a heaven and a hell? the fifth, Whether there be eternal life after
death?" besides many more inquiries. Then I desired to know their
opinion concerning the first article of inquiry, Whether religion be
anything? They began to discuss the subject with abundance of arguments,
whether there be any such thing as religion, and whether what is called
religion be anything? I requested them to refer it to the assembly, and
they did so; and the general answer was, that the proposition required
so much investigation that it could not be finished within the evening.
I then asked. "Can you finish it within the year?" and one of them said,
"Not within a hundred years:" so I observed, "In the mean while you are
without religion;" and he replied, "Shall it not be first demonstrated
whether there be such a thing as religion, and whether what is called
religion be anything? if there be such a thing, it must be also for the
wise; if there be no such thing, it must he only for the vulgar. It is
well known that religion is called a bond; but it is asked, for whom? if
it be only for the vulgar, it is not anything in itself; if it be
likewise for the wise, it is something." On hearing these arguments, I
said to them, "There is no character you deserve less than that of being
learned; because all your thoughts are confined to the single inquiry,
whether a thing be, and to canvass each side of the question. Who can
become learned, unless he know something for certain, and progressively
advance into it, as a man in walking progressively advances from step to
step, and thereby successively arrives at wisdom! If you follow any
other rule, you make no approach to truths, but remove them more and
more out of sight. To reason only whether a thing be, is it not like
reasoning about a cap or a shoe, whether they fit or not, before they
are put on? and what must be the consequence of such reasoning, but that
you will not know whether anything exist, yea, whether there be any such
thing as salvation, or eternal life after death; whether one religion be
more efficacious than another, and whether there be a heaven and a hell?
On these subjects you cannot possibly think at all, so long as you halt
at the first step, and beat the sand at setting out, instead of setting
one foot before another and going forward. Take heed to yourselves, lest
your minds, standing thus without in a state of indetermination, should
inwardly harden and become statues of salt, and yourselves friends of
Lot's wife." With these words I took my leave, and they being indignant
threw stones after me; and then they appeared to me like graven images
of stone, without any human reason in them. On my asking the angels
concerning their lot, they said, "Their lot is, that they are cast down
into the deep, into a wilderness, where they are forced to carry
burdens; and in this case, as they are no longer capable of rational
conversation, they give themselves up to idle prattle and talk, and
appear at a distance like asses that are heavily laden."
233. THE THIRD MEMORABLE RELATION. After this one of the angels said,
"Follow me to the place where they exclaim, 'O HOW WISE!' and you shall
see prodigies of men; you shall see faces and bodies, which are the
faces and bodies of a man, and yet they are not men." I said, "Are they
beasts then?" he replied, "They are not beasts, but beast-men; for they
are such as cannot at all see whether truth be truth or not, and yet
they can make whatever they will to be truth. Such persons with us are
called CONFIRMATORS." We followed the vociferation, and came to the
place; and lo! there was a company of men, and around them a crowd, and
in the crowd some of noble blood, who, on hearing that they confirmed
whatever they said, and favored themselves with such manifest consent,
turned, and said, "O HOW WISE!" But the angel said to me, "Let us not go
to them, but call one out of the company." We called him and went aside
with him, and conversed on various subjects; and he confirmed every one
of them, so that they appeared altogether as true; and we asked him,
whether he could also confirm the contrary? he said, "As well as the
former." Then he spoke openly and from the heart, and said, "What is
truth? Is there anything true in the nature of things, but what a man
makes true? Advance any proposition you please, and I will make it to be
true." Hereupon I said, "Make this true; That faith is the all of the
church." This he did so dexterously and cunningly, that the learned who
were standing by admired and applauded him. I afterwards requested him
to make it true, That charity is the all of the church; and he did so:
and afterwards, That charity is nothing of the church: and he dressed up
each side of the question, and adorned it so with appearances, that the
bystanders looked at each other, and said, "Is not this a wise man?" But
I said, "Do not you know that to live well is charity, and that to
believe well is faith? does not he that lives well also believe well?
and consequently, is not faith of charity, and charity of faith? do you
not see that this is true?" He replied, "I will make it true, and will
then see." He did so, and said, "Now I see it;" but presently he made
the contrary to be true, and then said, "I also see that this is true."
At this we smiled and said, "Are they not contraries? how can two
contraries appear true?" To this he replied with indignation, "You are
mistaken; each is true; since truth is nothing but what a man makes
true." There was a certain person standing near, who in the world had
been a legate of the first rank. He was surprised at this assertion, and
said, "I acknowledge that in the world something like this method of
reasoning prevails; but still you are out of your senses. Try if you can
make it to be true, that light is darkness, and darkness light." He
replied, "I will easily do this. What are light and darkness but a state
of the eye? Is not light changed into shade when the eye comes out of
sunshine, and also when it is kept intensely fixed on the sun? Who does
not know, that the state of the eye in such a case is changed, and that
in consequence light appears as shade; and on the other hand, when the
state of the eye is restored, that shade appears as light? Does not
an owl see the darkness of night as the light of day, and the light of
day as the darkness of night, and also the sun itself as an opaque and
dusky globe? If any man had the eyes of an owl, which would he call
light and which darkness? What then is light but the state of the eye?
and if it be a state of the eye, is not light darkness, and darkness
light? therefore each of the propositions is true." Afterwards the
legate asked him to make this true, That a raven is white and not black;
and he replied, "I will do this also with ease;" and he said, "Take a
needle or razor, and lay open the feathers or quills of a raven; are
they not white within? Also remove the feathers and quills, and look at
its skin; is it not white? What is the blackness then which envelops it
but a shade, which ought not to determine the raven's color? That
blackness is merely a shade. I appeal to the skilful in the science of
optics, who will tell you, that if you pound a black stone or glass into
fine powder, you will see that the powder is white." But the legate
replied, "Does not the raven appear black to the sight?" The confirmator
answered, "Will you, who are a man, think in any case from appearance?
you may indeed say from appearance, that a crow is black, but you cannot
think so; as for example, you may speak from the appearance and say that
the sun rises, advances to its meridian altitude, and sets; but, as you
are a man, you cannot think so; because the sun stands unmoved and the
earth only changes its position. The case is the same with the raven;
appearance is appearance; and say what you will, a raven is altogether
and entirely white; it grows white also as it grows old; and this I have
seen." We next requested him to tell us from his heart, whether he was
in joke, or whether he really believed that nothing is true but what a
man makes true? and he replied, "I swear that I believe it." Afterwards
the legate asked him, whether he could make it true that he was out of
his senses; and he said, "I can; but I do not choose: who is not out of
his senses?" When the conversation was thus ended, this universal
confirmator was sent to the angels, to be examined as to his true
quality; and the report they afterwards made was, that he did not
possess even a single grain of understanding; because all that is above
the rational principle was closed in him, and that alone which is below
was open. Above the rational principle is heavenly light, and below it
is natural light; and this light is such that it can confirm whatever it
pleases; but if heavenly light does not flow into natural light, a man
does not see whether any thing true is true, and consequently neither
does he see that any thing false is false. To see in either case is by
virtue of heavenly light in natural light; and heavenly light is from
the God of heaven, who is the Lord; therefore this universal confirmator
is not a man or a beast, but a beast-man. I questioned the angel
concerning the lot of such persons, and whether they can be together
with those who are alive, since every one has life from heavenly light,
and from this light has understanding. He said, that such persons when
they are alone, can neither think nor express their thoughts, but stand
mute like machines, and as in a deep sleep; but that they awake as soon
as any sound strikes their ears: and he added, that those become such,
who are inmostly wicked; into these no heavenly light can flow from
above, but only somewhat spiritual through the world, whence they derive
the faculty of confirming. As he said this, I heard a voice from the
angels who had examined the confirmation, saying to me, "From what you
have now heard form a general conclusion." I accordingly formed the
following: "That intelligence does not consist in being able to confirm
whatever a man pleases, but in being able to see that what is true is
true, and what is false is false." After this I looked towards the
company where the confirmators stood, and where the crowd about them
shouted, "_O how wise!_" and lo! a dusky cloud covered them, and in the
cloud were owls and bats on the wing; and it was said to me, "The owls
and bats flying in the dusky cloud, are correspondences and consequent
appearances of their thoughts; because confirmations of falsities so as
to make them appear like truths, are represented in this world under the
forms of birds of night, whose eyes are inwardly illuminated by a false
light, from which they see objects in the dark as if in the light. By
such a false spiritual light are those influenced who confirm falses
until they seem as truths, and afterwards are said and believed to be
truths: all such see backwards, and not forwards."
* * * * * *