But one of the most difficult things in the world is the levity with
which people talk about “obtaining information.” As if information were
as easy to pick up as stones! “It ain’t so hard to nuss the sick,” said
a hired nurse, “as some people might think; the most of ’em doesn’t want
nothing, and them as does doesn’t get it.” Parodying this, one might
say, it is much harder to “obtain information” than some people think;
the most don’t know anything, and those who do don’t say what they know.
Here is a real episode from the history of an inquiry, which took place
four or five years ago, into the desirability of making a new line of
railway on the Border. A witness was giving what is called “traffic
evidence,” in justification of the alleged need of the railway, and this
is what occurred:—
_Mr. Brown_ (the cross-examining counsel for the opponents of the new
line)—Do you mean to tell the committee that you ever saw an inhabited
house in that valley?
_Witness_—Yes I do.
_Mr. Brown_—Did you ever see a vehicle there in your life?
_Witness_—Yes, I did.
_Mr. Brown_—Very good.
Some other questions were put, which led to nothing particular: but, just
as the witness—a Scotchman—was leaving the box, the learned gentleman put
one more question:—
_Q_.—I am instructed to ask you, if the vehicle you saw was not the
hearse of the last inhabitant?
_Answer_—It was.
—_Cornhill Magazine_.