_The other day I had lunch with an uncle with whom I wish to be on the
best of terms. I should say that he fancies himself as a judge of wine.
We went to a restaurant and he ordered champagne, which came, already
opened, in an ice-basket. When the wine was poured out he tasted it,
smacked his lips and said, "That's perfect! What a bouquet! What an
aroma!" I sipped and found it most vilely corked. I also noticed that
the waiter was grinning, and I then realized that he knew it too, and
that we had been given a bottle which someone else had rejected. What
was I to do? If I told my uncle that the wine was corked he would be
furious to have been detected in an error of judgment. If I did not
drink it he would be furious too. If I did drink it I should be sick,
and I should also be a fool in the eyes of the waiter. If nothing was
said the restaurant people would profit by their low trick. Meanwhile
uncle was sipping and beaming.--P. E. L. (Norbiton)._
Your problem is a very interesting one and we should find it easier to
answer if you had told us what you actually did. To rise suddenly,
apparently for the purpose of flinging your arms round your uncle's neck
in a spasm of affection, and at the same time to sweep from the table
the bottle and both glasses seems to us the course which possesses most
elements of tact. The circumstance that you were inspired by admiration
and love would mitigate your uncle's wrath, and a new and sound bottle
could quickly be obtained. We admit that the restaurant would remain
unpunished; but then that is a restaurant's _metier_.