The amazing upheaval in provincial journalism consequent on the issue of
the Little Titley Parish Magazine at one penny is the sole topic of
conversation in Dampshire, to the exclusion of Ulster, Mexico, the
scarcity of meat, and even golf. Perhaps the most remarkable and
significant outcome of this momentous change is the sudden abandonment
by the Nether Wambleton Parish Magazine of its familiar claim that its
sale amounted to an average which, if tested, would show an excess of
two to one over any other church periodical in Wessex. The Nether
Wambleton Parish Magazine in its May number contented itself with
asserting that it is the largest religious monthly in North Dampshire,
also that its average sale, if tested, would show a circulation
calculated to stagger humanity.
These assertions have led to a long and recriminatory correspondence in
the columns of _The Tittersham Observer_. The Rev. Eldred Bolster, Vicar
of Little Titley, writing in the issue of May 9th, characterises them as
grotesque and preposterous fabrications. He points out, to begin with,
that the Nether Wambleton Parish Magazine only contains eighteen pages,
of which no fewer than sixteen are provided from London and have no
reference to local matters, while the Little Titley Parish Magazine
contains twenty-four pages, of which no fewer than four are entirely
devoted to parish affairs. As regards circulation, Mr. Bolster
sarcastically observes that humanity is sometimes staggered by the
infinitely little even more than by the infinitely great, and challenges
the Vicar of Nether Wambleton to publish the net figures of the sale of
his periodical.
The challenge was promptly taken up, and in the issue of _The Tittersham
Observer_ of May 16th the Vicar of Nether Wambleton prints the following
statement of the sales of his magazine since April, 1913. The figures
are as follows:--
1913, May 54
" June 57
" July 51
" August 49
" September 52
" October 58
" November 59
" December 57
1914, January 61
" February 55
" March 59
The statement is signed by the Rev. Auriel Potts, Vicar of Nether
Wambleton, and Andrew Jobling and Septimus Wicks, sidesmen.
This evasive reply could not be expected to satisfy Mr. Bolster, who
returns to the charge in _The Tittersham Observer_ of the 23rd May. Side
by side with the sale figures of the Nether Wambleton Parish Magazine he
prints those of his own periodical, which for the same period never fell
below sixty and on the occasion of the Harvest Festival reached a total
of seventy-nine. With scathing emphasis he points out that the Nether
Wambleton figures cease with the month in which Little Titley came down
to one penny, since which the latter has gone up by leaps and bounds, no
fewer than eighty-four copies of the May number having already been
sold. Moreover, these are _net_ sales, while the Nether Wambleton
figures (for all he knows) represent gross circulation, including
copies gratuitously distributed at mothers' meetings, choir treats
and other gatherings.
It might have been thought that Mr. Potts would have withdrawn from
the controversial arena after this painful exposure, but with a
persistence worthy of a better cause he rejoins in a long and irrelevant
letter in _The Tittersham Observer_ of the 30th May. He undoubtedly
scores a point in maintaining that the Nether Wambleton Parish Magazine
is the largest in Wessex on the strength of the fact that its page is
half-an-inch longer and a quarter-of-an-inch wider than that of its
rival, but in other respects his reply can hardly be considered
convincing. For instance, he lays stress on the fact that the gigantic
gooseberry grown in his parish and chronicled in his current issue was
appreciably greater in diameter than that described in the corresponding
issue of the rival publication. He also dwells on the superior artistic
quality of the programme of the Penny Reading in his parish hall as
compared with that of the Little Titley Temperance Reed Band at their
annual concert. And, finally, with ill-timed levity, he disclaims any
intention of "bolstering up" his parish magazine by crude appeals to
democratic sentiment--an allusion to the name of the Vicar of Little
Titley which has been deeply resented by the numerous admirers of that
esteemed cleric.
The saddest feature about this painful controversy is the personal
estrangement which it has brought about between the two Vicars. Only six
months ago the Rev. Mr. Bolster presided at a meeting at which the
friends and parishioners of the Rev. Mr. Potts presented him with a
testimonial and a set of electro-plated fish-knives to commemorate the
celebration of his silver wedding. The testimonial, which was composed
by Mr. Bolster, was a document couched in terms of the most affectionate
admiration, and special reference was made to Mr. Potts's editorial
abilities and the extraordinarily high literary standard of his parish
magazine. In acknowledging the presentation Mr. Potts said that Mr.
Bolster's energy and goodwill in carrying it out had given him more
satisfaction than anything else, and when the two eminent divines were
photographed in the act of embracing on the platform there was hardly a
dry eye in the huge audience, numbering fully forty persons, who
attended the proceedings.
Illustration: THE CIRCUS OF EUROPE.
TURKEY (_to Europa, ring-mistress_). "INFIRM OF PURPOSE! GIVE ME BACK
THE WHIP."
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Illustration: _Sympathetic Friend (to gloomy batsman, disgusted at
being given out for a catch at the wicket)._ "WOT'S WRONG, BILL? WAS IT
DAHTFUL?"
_Batsman._ "DAHTFUL! I SHOULD THINK IT WAS DAHTFUL! I COULD 'ARDLY 'EAR
IT MYSELF."
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