_The whole family_ (all together).
{Has the paper come yet?
{What's the news?
{Where's the paper?
{What about Liege?
{I say, where's the paper?
{Isn't the paper here yet?
{What's the matter with the people?
_Or_
_The whole family_ (all together again).
{I say, father, you might read quicker.
{Can't you tear it in half?
{Do tell us the news.
{Do read it out loud.
{What about Liege? Quick!
{Oh dear, why don't we have ten copies of it?
* * * * *
"The 'Daily Telegraph' Algeciras correspondent, wiring yesterday,
says news from Gibraltar reports a naval fight off the Canaries. One
of the latter was sunk and the other captured and brought to
Gibraltar."
_Liverpool Evening Express._
Our own canary protests indignantly at this treatment of its allies.
* * * * *
In order to be in the very admirable fashion the L.C.C. has decided, we
understand, to change the name of Jermyn Street to Jellicoe Lane.
* * * * *
Illustration: THE LOCAL TOUCH. _East Anglian._ "TELL YOW WHAT THAT IS,
SIR: THAT THERE KAISER 'E 'ONT NEVER BE SATISFIED UNTIL 'E'S RUINED
MUDBOROUGH."
* * * * *