The clerk was unusually prompt.
"What's yours?" he said.
"Since you ask," I replied, "I could do with a small stout; or,
alternatively, a sherry and bitters."
He kept silence, but with a touch of urgency in it. It is hard to
temporize when confronted with a businesslike silence. Yet my view of
the drive was worth fighting for.
"I might leave my watch," I continued after a brief hesitation, "but the
fact is I left it last week with my only godson. Have you a godson? You
know what they are--always wanting something."
"Come along, now," said the official brusquely. Robert, too, was
becoming restive.
"Very well; I will deposit my hat. You will be careful with it, won't
you?"
He accepted my hat untenderly.
"What name?"
"George," I said; "but they call me 'Winkles' at home."
He was a man not easily moved. He wrote down "George" without hesitation
on a bit of pink paper and asked for twopence as he gave it to me.
Just then, to my great relief, the Boat Express arrived. I searched in
all my pockets and at last found half-a-sovereign.
I told you he was a man not easily moved. He gave me nine-and-tenpence
without a word, but with more halfpennies than was quite nice.
There was a stir in the crowd. I must hang on yet a little, or give it
up, or stand six deep. I cannot stand standing six deep. But it is the
duty of every citizen to welcome Personages.
Then I bethought me of my pink paper.
I summoned the man who was not easily moved and presented it. "The
deposit," I explained, "was a hat--a felt hat--I cannot be sure of the
size, but at a guess I should put it somewhere between 7 and 8."
But he had already retrieved it.
I took it and replaced it on my head as I turned in the nick of time to
take it off to the Personage. He gave me a very sweet smile, the memory
of which I cherish so fondly that I am loth to attribute it to the
fashionable dent I subsequently discovered in my bowler.
* * * * *
In the present restriction of Sport we sympathize with that section of
the Press which makes it a speciality. However, there are outlets; and
one of our Sporting contemporaries has burst forth into history, as
follows:--
"Once again England is faced with a crisis. There has been nothing
like it since Alexander the Great burned his boats and crossed the
Rubicon."
An Infant Prodigy.
"Although only in his 41st year Mr. F. E. Smith is a Master of Arts
..."
_Pall Mall Gazette._
* * * * *
Illustration: _Medical Officer._ "SORRY I MUST REJECT YOU ON ACCOUNT OF
YOUR TEETH."
_Would-be Recruit._ "MAN, YE'RE MAKING A GRAN' MISTAKE. I'M NO WANTING
TO BITE THE GERMANS, I'M WANTING TO SHOOT 'EM."
* * * * *