Sahib--Dearsley Sahib. They made oration; and noticeably the small
man among the red-coats. Dearsley Sahib also made oration, and used
many very strong words. Upon this talk they departed together to an
open space, and there the fat man in the red coat fought with Dearsley
Sahib after the custom of white men--with his hands, making no noise,
and never at all pulling Dearsley Sahib's hair. Such of us as were not
afraid beheld these things for just so long a time as a man needs to
cook the mid-day meal. The small man in the red coat had possessed
himself of Dearsley Sahib's watch. No, he did not steal that watch. He
held it in his hand, and at certain seasons made outcry, and the twain
ceased their combat, which was like the combat of young bulls in
spring. Both men were soon all red, but Dearsley Sahib was much more
red than the other. Seeing this, and fearing for his life--because we
greatly loved him--some fifty of us made shift to rush upon the
red-coats. But a certain man,--very black as to the hair, and in no
way to be confused with the small man, or the fat man who
fought,--that man, we affirm, ran upon us, and of us he embraced some
ten or fifty in both arms, and beat our heads together, so that our
livers turned to water, and we ran away. It is not good to interfere
in the fightings of white men. After that Dearsley Sahib fell and did
not rise, these men jumped upon his stomach and despoiled him of all
his money, and attempted to fire the pay-shed, and departed. Is it
true that Dearsley Sahib makes no complaint of these latter things
having been done? We were senseless with fear, and do not at all
remember. There was no palanquin near the pay-shed. What do we know
about palanquins? Is it true that Dearsley Sahib does not return to
this place, on account of his sickness, for ten days? This is the
fault of those bad men in the red coats, who should be severely
punished; for Dearsley Sahib is both our father and mother, and we
love him much. Yet, if Dearsley Sahib does not return to this place at
all, we will speak the truth. There was a palanquin, for the up-keep
of which we were forced to pay nine-tenths of our monthly wage. On
such mulctings Dearsley Sahib allowed us to make obeisance to him
before the palanquin. What could we do? We were poor men. He took a
full half of our wages. Will the Government repay us those moneys?
Those three men in red coats bore the palanquin upon their shoulders
and departed. All the money that Dearsley Sahib had taken from us was
in the cushions of that palanquin. Therefore they stole it. Thousands
of rupees were there--all our money. It was our bank-box, to fill
which we cheerfully contributed to Dearsley Sahib three-sevenths of
our monthly wage. Why does the white man look upon us with the eye of
disfavour? Before God, there was a palanquin, and now there is no
palanquin; and if they send the police here to make inquisition, we
can only say that there never has been any palanquin. Why should a
palanquin be near these works? We are poor men, and we know nothing.'
Such is the simplest version of the simplest story connected with the
descent upon Dearsley. From the lips of the coolies I received it.
Dearsley himself was in no condition to say anything, and Mulvaney
preserved a massive silence, broken only by the occasional licking of
the lips. He had seen a fight so gorgeous that even his power of
speech was taken from him. I respected that reserve until, three days
after the affair, I discovered in a disused stable in my quarters a
palanquin of unchastened splendour--evidently in past days the litter
of a queen. The pole whereby it swung between the shoulders of the
bearers was rich with the painted _papier-maché_ of Cashmere. The
shoulder-pads were of yellow silk. The panels of the litter itself
were ablaze with the loves of all the gods and goddesses of the Hindu
Pantheon--lacquer on cedar. The cedar sliding doors were fitted with
hasps of translucent Jaipur enamel and ran in grooves shod with
silver. The cushions were of brocaded Delhi silk, and the curtains
which once hid any glimpse of the beauty of the king's palace were
stiff with gold. Closer investigation showed that the entire fabric
was everywhere rubbed and discoloured by time and wear; but even
thus it was sufficiently gorgeous to deserve housing on the threshold
of a royal zenana. I found no fault with it, except that it was in my
stable. Then, trying to lift it by the silver-shod shoulder-pole, I
laughed. The road from Dearsley's pay-shed to the cantonment was a
narrow and uneven one, and, traversed by three very inexperienced
palanquin-bearers, one of whom was sorely battered about the head,
must have been a path of torment. Still I did not quite recognise the
right of the three musketeers to turn me into a 'fence' for stolen
property.
[Illustration: 'Nine roun's they were even matched, an' at the
tenth----.'--P. 157.]
'I'm askin' you to warehouse ut,' said Mulvaney, when he was brought
to consider the question. 'There's no steal in ut. Dearsley tould us
we cud have ut if we fought. Jock fought--an', oh, Sorr, when the
throuble was at uts finest an' Jock was bleedin' like a stuck pig, an'
little Orth'ris was shquealin' on one leg chewin' big bites out av
Dearsley's watch, I wud ha' given my place at the fight to have had
you see wan round. He tuk Jock, as I suspicioned he would, an' Jock
was deceptive. Nine roun's they were even matched, an' at the
tenth---- About that palanquin now. There's not the least throuble in
the world, or we wud not ha' brought ut here. You will ondherstand
that the Queen--God bless her!--does not reckon for a privit soldier
to kape elephints an' palanquins an' sich in barricks. Afther we had
dhragged ut down from Dearsley's through that cruel scrub that near
broke Orth'ris's heart, we set ut in the ravine for a night; an' a
thief av a porcupine an' a civet-cat av a jackal roosted in ut, as
well we knew in the mornin'. I put ut to you, Sorr, is an elegint
palanquin, fit for the princess, the natural abidin' place av all the
vermin in cantonmints? We brought ut to you, afther dhark, and put ut
in your shtable. Do not let your conscience prick. Think av the
rejoicin' men in the pay-shed yonder--lookin' at Dearsley wid his head
tied up in a towel--an' well knowin' that they can dhraw their pay
ivry month widout stoppages for riffles. Indirectly, Sorr, you have
rescued from an onprincipled son av a night-hawk the peasanthry av a
numerous village. An' besides, will I let that sedan-chair rot on our
hands? Not I. 'Tis not every day a piece av pure joolry comes into the
market. There's not a king widin these forty miles'--he waved his hand
round the dusty horizon--'not a king wud not be glad to buy ut. Some
day mesilf, whin I have leisure, I'll take ut up along the road an'
dishpose av ut.'
'How?' said I, for I knew the man was capable of anything.
'Get into ut, av coorse, and keep wan eye open through the curtains.
Whin I see a likely man av the native persuasion, I will descind
blushin' from my canopy and say, "Buy a palanquin, ye black scutt?" I
will have to hire four men to carry me first, though; and that's
impossible till next pay-day.'
Curiously enough, Learoyd, who had fought for the prize, and in the
winning secured the highest pleasure life had to offer him, was
altogether disposed to undervalue it, while Ortheris openly said it
would be better to break the thing up. Dearsley, he argued, might be a
many-sided man, capable, despite his magnificent fighting qualities,
of setting in motion the machinery of the civil law--a thing much
abhorred by the soldier. Under any circumstances their fun had come
and passed; the next pay-day was close at hand, when there would be
beer for all. Wherefore longer conserve the painted palanquin?
'A first-class rifle-shot an' a good little man av your inches you
are,' said Mulvaney. 'But you niver had a head worth a soft-boiled
egg. 'Tis me has to lie awake av nights schamin' an' plottin' for the
three av us. Orth'ris, me son, 'tis no matther av a few gallons av
beer--no, nor twenty gallons--but tubs an' vats an' firkins in that
sedan-chair. Who ut was, an' what ut was, an' how ut got there, we do
not know; but I know in my bones that you an' me an' Jock wid his
sprained thumb will get a fortune thereby. Lave me alone, an' let me
think.'
Meantime the palanquin stayed in my stall, the key of which was in
Mulvaney's hands.
Pay-day came, and with it beer. It was not in experience to hope that
Mulvaney, dried by four weeks' drought, would avoid excess. Next
morning he and the palanquin had disappeared. He had taken the
precaution of getting three days' leave 'to see a friend on the
railway,' and the Colonel, well knowing that the seasonal outburst was
near, and hoping it would spend its force beyond the limits of his
jurisdiction, cheerfully gave him all he demanded. At this point
Mulvaney's history, as recorded in the mess-room, stopped.
Ortheris carried it not much further. 'No, 'e wasn't drunk,' said the
little man loyally, 'the liquor was no more than feelin' its way round
inside of 'im; but 'e went an' filled that 'ole bloomin' palanquin
with bottles 'fore 'e went off. 'E's gone an' 'ired six men to carry
'im, an' I 'ad to 'elp 'im into 'is nupshal couch, 'cause 'e wouldn't
'ear reason. 'E's gone off in 'is shirt an' trousies, swearin'
tremenjus--gone down the road in the palanquin, wavin' 'is legs out o'
windy.'
'Yes,' said I, 'but where?'
'Now you arx me a question. 'E said 'e was goin' to sell that
palanquin, but from observations what happened when I was stuffin'
'im through the door, I fancy 'e's gone to the new embankment to mock
at Dearsley. 'Soon as Jock's off duty I'm goin' there to see if 'e's
safe--not Mulvaney, but t'other man. My saints, but I pity 'im as
'elps Terence out o' the palanquin when 'e's once fair drunk!'
'He'll come back without harm,' I said.
''Corse 'e will. On'y question is, what'll 'e be doin' on the road?
Killing Dearsley, like as not. 'E shouldn't 'a gone without Jock or
me.'
Reinforced by Learoyd, Ortheris sought the foreman of the coolie-gang.
Dearsley's head was still embellished with towels. Mulvaney, drunk or
sober, would have struck no man in that condition, and Dearsley
indignantly denied that he would have taken advantage of the
intoxicated brave.
'I had my pick o' you two,' he explained to Learoyd, 'and you got my
palanquin--not before I'd made my profit on it. Why'd I do harm when
everything's settled?' Your man _did_ come here--drunk as Davy's sow
on a frosty night--came a-purpose to mock me--stuck his head out of
the door an' called me a crucified hodman. I made him drunker, an'
sent him along. But I never touched him.'
To these things Learoyd, slow to perceive the evidences of sincerity,
answered only, 'If owt comes to Mulvaaney 'long o' you, I'll gripple
you, clouts or no clouts on your ugly head, an' I'll draw t' throat
twistyways, man. See there now.'
The embassy removed itself, and Dearsley, the battered, laughed alone
over his supper that evening.
Three days passed--a fourth and a fifth. The week drew to a close and
Mulvaney did not return. He, his royal palanquin, and his six
attendants, had vanished into air. A very large and very tipsy
soldier, his feet sticking out of the litter of a reigning princess,
is not a thing to travel along the ways without comment. Yet no man of
all the country round had seen any such wonder. He was, and he was
not; and Learoyd suggested the immediate smashment of Dearsley as a
sacrifice to his ghost. Ortheris insisted that all was well, and in
the light of past experience his hopes seemed reasonable.
'When Mulvaney goes up the road,' said he, ''e's like to go a very
long ways up, specially when 'e's so blue drunk as 'e is now. But what
gits me is 'is not bein' 'eard of pullin' wool off the niggers
somewheres about. That don't look good. The drink must ha' died out in
'im by this, unless 'e's broke a bank, an' then--why don't 'e come
back? 'E didn't ought to ha' gone off without us.'
Even Ortheris's heart sank at the end of the seventh day, for half the
regiment were out scouring the countryside, and Learoyd had been
forced to fight two men who hinted openly that Mulvaney had deserted.
To do him justice, the Colonel laughed at the notion, even when it was
put forward by his much-trusted Adjutant.
'Mulvaney would as soon think of deserting as you would,' said he.
'No; he's either fallen into a mischief among the villagers--and yet
that isn't likely, for he'd blarney himself out of the Pit; or else he
is engaged on urgent private affairs--some stupendous devilment that
we shall hear of at mess after it has been the round of the
barrack-rooms. The worst of it is that I shall have to give him
twenty-eight days' confinement at least for being absent without
leave, just when I most want him to lick the new batch of recruits
into shape. I never knew a man who could put a polish on young
soldiers as quickly as Mulvaney can. How does he do it?'
'With blarney and the buckle-end of a belt, Sir,' said the Adjutant.
'He is worth a couple of non-commissioned officers when we are dealing
with an Irish draft, and the London lads seem to adore him. The worst
of it is that if he goes to the cells the other two are neither to
hold nor to bind till he comes out again. I believe Ortheris preaches
mutiny on those occasions, and I know that the mere presence of
Learoyd mourning for Mulvaney kills all the cheerfulness of his room.
The sergeants tell me that he allows no man to laugh when he feels
unhappy. They are a queer gang.'
'For all that, I wish we had a few more of them. I like a
well-conducted regiment, but these pasty-faced, shifty-eyed,
mealy-mouthed young slouchers from the Depot worry me sometimes with
their offensive virtue. They don't seem to have backbone enough to do
anything but play cards and prowl round the married quarters. I
believe I'd forgive that old villain on the spot if he turned up with
any sort of explanation that I could in decency accept.'
'Not likely to be much difficulty about that, Sir,' said the Adjutant.
'Mulvaney's explanations are only one degree less wonderful than his
performances. They say that when he was in the Black Tyrone, before he
came to us, he was discovered on the banks of the Liffey trying to
sell his colonel's charger to a Donegal dealer as a perfect lady's
hack. Shackbolt commanded the Tyrone then.'
'Shackbolt must have had apoplexy at the thought of his ramping
war-horses answering to that description. He used to buy unbacked
devils, and tame them on some pet theory of starvation. What did
Mulvaney say?'
'That he was a member of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to
Animals, anxious to "sell the poor baste where he would get something
to fill out his dimples." Shackbolt laughed, but I fancy that was why
Mulvaney exchanged to ours.'
'I wish he were back,' said the Colonel; 'for I like him and believe
he likes me.'
That evening, to cheer our souls, Learoyd, Ortheris, and I went into
the waste to smoke out a porcupine. All the dogs attended, but even
their clamour--and they began to discuss the shortcomings of
porcupines before they left cantonments--could not take us out of
ourselves. A large, low moon turned the tops of the plume-grass to
silver, and the stunted camelthorn bushes and sour tamarisks into the
likenesses of trooping devils. The smell of the sun had not left the
earth, and little aimless winds blowing across the rose-gardens to the
southward brought the scent of dried roses and water. Our fire once
started, and the dogs craftily disposed to wait the dash of the
porcupine, we climbed to the top of a rain-scarred hillock of earth,
and looked across the scrub seamed with cattle paths, white with the
long grass, and dotted with spots of level pond-bottom, where the
snipe would gather in winter.
'This,' said Ortheris, with a sigh, as he took in the unkempt
desolation of it all, 'this is sanguinary. This is unusually
sanguinary. Sort o' mad country. Like a grate when the fire's put out
by the sun.' He shaded his eyes against the moonlight. 'An' there's a
loony dancin' in the middle of it all. Quite right. I'd dance too if I
wasn't so downheart.'
There pranced a Portent in the face of the moon--a huge and ragged
spirit of the waste, that flapped its wings from afar. It had risen
out of the earth; it was coming towards us, and its outline was never
twice the same. The toga, tablecloth, or dressing-gown, whatever the
creature wore, took a hundred shapes. Once it stopped on a
neighbouring mound and flung all its legs and arms to the winds.
'My, but that scarecrow 'as got 'em bad!' said Ortheris. 'Seems like
if 'e comes any furder we'll 'ave to argify with 'im.'
Learoyd raised himself from the dirt as a bull clears his flanks of
the wallow. And as a bull bellows, so he, after a short minute at
gaze, gave tongue to the stars.
'MULVAANEY! MULVAANEY! A-hoo!'
Oh then it was that we yelled, and the figure dipped into the hollow,
till, with a crash of rending grass, the lost one strode up to the
light of the fire, and disappeared to the waist in a wave of joyous
dogs! Then Learoyd and Ortheris gave greeting, bass and falsetto
together, both swallowing a lump in the throat.
[Illustration: There pranced a Portent in the face of the
moon.--P. 166.]
'You damned fool!' said they, and severally pounded him with their
fists.
'Go easy!' he answered; wrapping a huge arm round each. 'I would have
you to know that I am a god, to be treated as such--tho', by my faith,
I fancy I've got to go to the guard-room just like a privit soldier.'
The latter part of the sentence destroyed the suspicions raised by the
former. Any one would have been justified in regarding Mulvaney as
mad. He was hatless and shoeless, and his shirt and trousers were
dropping off him. But he wore one wondrous garment--a gigantic cloak
that fell from collar-bone to heel--of pale pink silk, wrought all
over in cunningest needlework of hands long since dead, with the loves
of the Hindu gods. The monstrous figures leaped in and out of the
light of the fire as he settled the folds round him.
Ortheris handled the stuff respectfully for a moment while I was
trying to remember where I had seen it before. Then he screamed, 'What
_'ave_ you done with the palanquin? You're wearin' the linin'.'
'I am,' said the Irishman, 'an' by the same token the 'broidery is
scrapin' my hide off. I've lived in this sumpshus counterpane for four
days. Me son, I begin to ondherstand why the naygur is no use. Widout
me boots, an' me trousies like an openwork stocking on a gyurl's leg
at a dance, I begin to feel like a naygur-man--all fearful an'
timoreous. Give me a pipe an' I'll tell on.'
He lit a pipe, resumed his grip of his two friends, and rocked to and
fro in a gale of laughter.
'Mulvaney,' said Ortheris sternly, ''taint no time for laughin'.
You've given Jock an' me more trouble than you're worth. You 'ave been
absent without leave an' you'll go into cells for that; an' you 'ave
come back disgustin'ly dressed an' most improper in the linin' o' that
bloomin' palanquin. Instid of which you laugh. An' _we_ thought you
was dead all the time.'
'Bhoys,' said the culprit, still shaking gently, 'whin I've done my
tale you may cry if you like, an' little Orth'ris here can thrample my
inside out. Ha' done an' listen. My performinces have been stupenjus:
my luck has been the blessed luck av the British Army--an' there's no
betther than that. I went out dhrunk an' dhrinkin' in the palanquin,
and I have come back a pink god. Did any of you go to Dearsley afther
my time was up? He was at the bottom of ut all.'
'Ah said so,' murmured Learoyd. 'To-morrow ah'll smash t' face in upon
his heead.'
'Ye will not. Dearsley's a jool av a man. Afther Ortheris had put me
into the palanquin an' the six bearer-men were gruntin' down the
road, I tuk thought to mock Dearsley for that fight. So I tould thim,
"Go to the embankmint," and there, bein' most amazin' full, I shtuck
my head out av the concern an' passed compliments wid Dearsley. I must
ha' miscalled him outrageous, for whin I am that way the power av the
tongue comes on me. I can bare remimber tellin' him that his mouth
opened endways like the mouth av a skate, which was thrue afther
Learoyd had handled ut; an' I clear remimber his takin' no manner nor
matter av offence, but givin' me a big dhrink of beer. 'Twas the beer
did the thrick, for I crawled back into the palanquin, steppin' on me
right ear wid me left foot, an' thin I slept like the dead. Wanst I
half roused, an' begad the noise in my head was tremenjus--roarin' and
rattlin' an' poundin', such as was quite new to me. "Mother av Mercy,"
thinks I, "phwat a concertina I will have on my shoulders whin I
wake!" An' wid that I curls mysilf up to sleep before ut should get
hould on me. Bhoys, that noise was not dhrink, 'twas the rattle av a
thrain!'
There followed an impressive pause.
'Yes, he had put me on a thrain--put me palanquin an' all, an' six
black assassins av his own coolies that was in his nefarious
confidence, on the flat av a ballast-thruck, and we were rowlin' an'
bowlin' along to Benares. Glory be that I did not wake up thin an'
introjuce mysilf to the coolies. As I was sayin' I slept for the
betther part av a day an' a night. But remimber you, that that man
Dearsley had packed me off on wan av his material-thrains to Benares,
all for to make me overstay my leave an' get me into the cells.'
The explanation was an eminently rational one. Benares lay at least
ten hours by rail from the cantonments, and nothing in the world could
have saved Mulvaney from arrest as a deserter had he appeared there in
the apparel of his orgies. Dearsley had not forgotten to take revenge.
Learoyd, drawing back a little, began to play soft blows over selected
portions of Mulvaney's body. His thoughts were away on the embankment,
and they meditated evil for Dearsley. Mulvaney continued:--
'Whin I was full awake the palanquin was set down in a street, I
suspicioned, for I cud hear people passin' an' talkin'. But I knew
well I was far from home. There is a queer smell upon our
cantonments--a smell av dried earth and brick-kilns wid whiffs av
cavalry stable-litter. This place smelt marigold flowers an' bad
water, an' wanst somethin' alive came an' blew heavy with his muzzle
at the chink av the shutter. "It's in a village I am," thinks I to
mysilf, "an' the parochial buffalo is investigatin' the palanquin."
But anyways I had no desire to move. Only lie still whin you're in
foreign parts an' the standin' luck av the British Army will carry ye
through. That is an epigram. I made ut.
'Thin a lot av whishperin' divils surrounded the palanquin. "Take ut
up," sez wan man. "But who'll pay us?" sez another. "The Maharanee's
minister, av coorse," sez the man. "Oho!" sez I to mysilf, "I'm a
quane in me own right, wid a minister to pay me expenses. I'll be an
emperor if I lie still long enough; but this is no village I've
found." I lay quiet, but I gummed me right eye to a crack av the
shutters, an' I saw that the whole street was crammed wid palanquins
an' horses, an' a sprinklin' av naked priests all yellow powder an'
tigers' tails. But I may tell you, Orth'ris an' you, Learoyd, that av
all the palanquins ours was the most imperial an' magnificent. Now a
palanquin means a native lady all the world over, except whin a
soldier av the quane happens to be takin' a ride. "Women an' priests!"
sez I. "Your father's son is in the right pew this time, Terence.
There will be proceedin's." Six black divils in pink muslin tuk up the
palanquin, an' oh! but the rowlin' an' the rockin' made me sick. Thin
we got fair jammed among the palanquins--not more than fifty av
them--an' we grated an' bumped like Queenstown potato-smacks in a
runnin' tide. I cud hear the women gigglin' and squirkin' in their
palanquins, but mine was the royal equipage. They made way for ut,
an', begad, the pink muslin men o' mine were howlin', "Room for the
Maharanee av Gokral-Seetarun." Do you know aught av the lady, Sorr?'
'Yes,' said I. 'She is a very estimable old queen of the Central
Indian States, and they say she is fat. How on earth could she go to
Benares without all the city knowing her palanquin?'
''Twas the eternal foolishness av the naygur-man. They saw the
palanquin lying loneful an' forlornsome, an' the beauty av ut, after
Dearsley's men had dhropped ut and gone away, an' they gave ut the
best name that occurred to thim. Quite right too. For aught we know
the ould lady was thravellin' _incog_--like me. I'm glad to hear she's
fat. I was no light weight mysilf, an' my men were mortial anxious to
dhrop me under a great big archway promiscuously ornamented wid the
most improper carvin's an' cuttin's I iver saw. Begad! they made me
blush--like a--like a Maharanee.'
'The temple of Prithi-Devi,' I murmured, remembering the monstrous
horrors of that sculptured archway at Benares.