_The comical and mortifying Transmigration of little Monsieur_ FRIBBLE
_into the Body of a Monkey._
After we had taken our leave of Master _Churl_, we were conducted into
the apartment of Mr. _Pug_, a chattering young monkey, who, as soon as
he saw us whipt his little hat under his arm in a crack, and seating
himself upon his backside, welcomed each of us into the room by several
ceremonious nods, which were intended to supply the place of a bow, and
were accompanied by such a noisy affected grin, that it was impossible
for us to forbear laughing--"This contemptible animal, said Mr.
_Wiseman_, is inhabited by the little soul of the late Master _Billy
Fribble_, a young gentleman of French extraction, whose friends came
and settled in the country about fifty years ago. His play fellows
dignified him with the humorous title of _the little Monsieur_, not so
much on account of his diminutive stature, as for that trifling and
finical behaviour which distinguishes the least respectable, though, by
many thoughtless persons, the most admired part of the French nation.
As neither his bodily nor mental faculties were very vigorous, his
childhood was remarkable only for a certain effeminate vivacity, which
continually displayed itself in such a noisy and insignificant
prattling, as was very tiresome and disagreeable to every body in the
house. When he grew older, he added to his former loquacity the most
passionate fondness for fine clothes; so that in the twelfth year of
his age, he became as complete a top as ever eyes beheld. He wore upon
his head a macaroni hat about the size of a small tea saucer; his coat,
which scarcely had any skirts to it, was of the most glaring colour he
could fix upon; and his hair, which was plaistered over with powder and
pomatum, was tied behind in a large club, which hung swagging upon his
shoulders like a soldier's knapsack. Thus elegantly dressed, he
strutted along the streets with a large stick in his hand about a foot
taller than himself, and a small cutteau de chasse by his side, which
he could handle with as much dexterity as his pen; an instrument in the
use of which he had made such a contemptible proficiency, that it
required as much acuteness to discover the meaning of his aukward
scrawl, as to explain the hieroglyphick characters of the ancient
Egyptians. What still increased the obscurity of every thing which
Monsieur _Fribble_ undertook the trouble of penning, was that,
excepting when he wrote his own name, he had a method of spelling which
was peculiar to himself. He was equally famous for his skill in the
useful science of numbers; for though, during the space of seven or
eight years, he devoted to it a considerable part of that lingering
time which he was forced to spare from his private diversions in school
hours, the sum total of his improvement was, that he was scarcely
capable of casting up the contents of a shoemaker's little bill. His
highest ambition was, in the first place, to furnish himself with a
large collection of complimentary phrases, which he had seldom
discretion enough to apply with any tolerable propriety; and, in the
next, to complete himself in the polite art of dancing, in which he so
far succeeded as to be able to skip about with the most regular
agility, though he never had a sufficient share of good sense to be
able to dance with gracefulness. Thus accomplished, he excited the
admiration of every silly coquette, and the envy of every fluttering
coxcomb; but by all young gentlemen and ladies of understanding he was
heartily despised as a mere civilized monkey. He performed every thing
by imitation; and he imitated nothing (unless he was forcibly compelled
to it) by which a rational being may be distinguished from a brute
animal. But the species of imitation in which he most delighted, was
that which, in the vulgar style, is called _mocking_; for he was not
possessed of a sufficient stock of ingenuity to be (what he very
frequently attempted to be) a clever mimick. If any of his schoolmates
happened to be afflicted with an impediment in their speech, an
accidental lameness, or the like; he had the mean barbarity to
endeavour to aggravate the misfortune by a coarse imitation, which
generally turned the whole ridicule upon himself. He once had the
impudence to practise his mockery upon a worthy gentlemen in the
neighbourhood, who was so unfortunate as to be unable to speak without
stuttering. The gentleman happening to pass by Mr. _Fribble's_ door, at
which our little monsieur was then standing with a magpie in his hand."
"_Bi-bi-bill_, said the good man (after inquiring very civilly how he
did) has that pretty ma-ma-mag learned to ta-ta-talk?" "Ye-ye-yes,
replied the saucy fop, be-be-better than you do, or else I would wring
his head off." "This rude and impertinent answer, which at first
excited the laughter of some of the by-standers, soon gave them a very
mean opinion of him, and he was afterwards despised by every sensible
person, as a mischievous, unthinking coxcomb. What aggravated his
punishment was, that he had so frequently indulged himself in the
ungenerous and silly practice of mocking the imperfect pronunciation of
others, that at last he himself contracted such a habit of stuttering
as he could never leave off. This gave such a poor recommendation to
the nonsensical things he was continually saying, that he became the
object of ten times the ridicule which he had endeavoured to inflict
upon those who had a _natural_ impediment. What was pitied in them as a
misfortune, was despised in him as an ill-acquired and consequently a
vicious imperfection; and therefore every one was willing to increase
the mortifying smart of it, and keep alive the conscious shame he felt
of wearing a fool's cap which was entirely of his own making. This
vexatious, and in some degree, vindictive ridicule to which he was
daily exposed, and which, in time, he might have softened and disarmed
by an humble and penitent deportment, gave such an insupportable wound
to his foolish pride, that he soon absconded from company, and died of
a broken heart. That his soul might afterwards occupy such a station as
would be most suitable to his character, it was sentenced to inhabit
the body of that finical, grinning, and mischievous little mimick with
four legs, which you now behold before you." As soon as the Bramin had
finished his story, poor _pug_ (who seemed to retain all the little
pride of Monsieur _Fribble_) grinned, chattered, and skipped about with
a ridiculous resentment which was mingled with evident marks of fear;
until at last, having agitated himself into a perfect passion, he made
a hasty spring at his keeper, which, to his own abashment, and the
laughter of my young companions, was as suddenly checked by a small
chain that secured him to the floor.