It happened one day that some ladies came to call, who were not at all
the sort I was used to. They suffered from a grievance, so far as I
could gather, and the burden of their plaint was Man--Men in general and
Man in particular. (Though the words were but spoken, I could clearly
discern the capital M in their acid utterance.)
Of course I was not present officially, so to speak. Down below, in my
sub-world of chair-legs and hearthrugs and the undersides of sofas, I
was working out my own floor-problems, while they babbled on far above
my head, considering me as but a chair-leg, or even something lower in
the scale. Yet I was listening hard all the time, with that respectful
consideration one gives to all grown-up people's remarks, so long as one
knows no better.
It seemed a serious indictment enough, as they rolled it out. In
tact, considerateness, and right appreciation, as well as in taste
and aesthetic sensibilities--we failed at every point, we breeched and
bearded prentice-jobs of Nature; and I began to feel like collapsing on
the carpet from sheer spiritual anaemia. But when one of them, with
a swing of her skirt, prostrated a whole regiment of my brave tin
soldiers, and never apologized nor even offered her aid toward
revivifying the battle-line, I could not help feeling that in
tactfulness and consideration for others she was still a little to seek.
And I said as much, with some directness of language.
That was the end of me, from a society point of view. Rudeness to
visitors was the unpardonable sin, and in two seconds I had my marching
orders, and was sullenly wending my way to the St. Helena of the
nursery. As I climbed the stair, my thoughts reverted somehow to a
game we had been playing that very morning. It was the good old game of
Rafts,--a game that will be played till all the oceans are dry and all
the trees in the world are felled--and after. And we were all crowded
together on the precarious little platform, and Selina occupied every
bit as much room as I did, and Charlotte's legs didn't dangle over any
more than Harold's. The pitiless sun overhead beat on us all with tropic
impartiality, and the hungry sharks, whose fins scored the limitless
Pacific stretching out on every side, were impelled by an appetite that
made no exceptions as to sex. When we shared the ultimate biscuit and
circulated the last water-keg, the girls got an absolute fourth apiece,
and neither more nor less; and the only partiality shown was entirely
in favour of Charlotte, who was allowed to perceive and to hail the
saviour-sail on the horizon. And this was only because it was her turn
to do so, not because she happened to be this or that. Surely, the
rules of the raft were the rules of life, and in what, then, did these
visitor-ladies' grievance consist?
Puzzled and a little sulky, I pushed open the door of the deserted
nursery, where the raft that had rocked beneath so many hopes and fears
still occupied the ocean-floor. To the dull eye, that merely tarries
upon the outsides of things, it might have appeared unromantic and even
unraftlike, consisting only as it did of a round sponge-bath on a bald
deal towel-horse placed flat on the floor. Even to myself much of the
recent raft-glamour seemed to have departed as I half-mechanically
stepped inside and curled myself up in it for a solitary voyage. Once I
was in, however, the old magic and mystery returned in full flood, when
I discovered that the inequalities of the towel-horse caused the bath
to rock, slightly, indeed, but easily and incessantly. A few minutes
of this delightful motion, and one was fairly launched. So those women
below didn't want us? Well, there were other women, and other places,
that did. And this was going to be no scrambling raft-affair, but a
full-blooded voyage of the Man, equipped and purposeful, in search of
what was his rightful own.
Whither should I shape my course, and what sort of vessel should I
charter for the voyage? The shipping of all England was mine to pick
from, and the far corners of the globe were my rightful inheritance. A
frigate, of course, seemed the natural vehicle for a boy of spirit to
set out in. And yet there was something rather “uppish” in commanding
a frigate at the very first set-off, and little spread was left for
the ambition. Frigates, too, could always be acquired later by sheer
adventure; and your real hero generally saved up a square-rigged ship
for the final achievement and the rapt return. No, it was a schooner
that I was aboard of--a schooner whose masts raked devilishly as the
leaping seas hissed along her low black gunwale. Many hairbrained youths
started out on a mere cutter; but I was prudent, and besides I had some
inkling of the serious affairs that were ahead.
I have said I was already on board; and, indeed, on this occasion I was
too hungry for adventure to linger over what would have been a special
delight at a period of more leisure--the dangling about the harbour, the
choosing your craft, selecting your shipmates, stowing your cargo, and
fitting up your private cabin with everything you might want to put your
hand on in any emergency whatever. I could not wait for that. Out beyond
soundings the big seas were racing westward and calling me, albatrosses
hovered motionless, expectant of a comrade, and a thousand islands
held each of them a fresh adventure, stored up, hidden away, awaiting
production, expressly saved for me. We were humming, close-hauled, down
the Channel, spray in the eyes and the shrouds thrilling musically, in
much less time than the average man would have taken to transfer his
Gladstone bag and his rugs from the train to a sheltered place on the
promenade-deck of the tame daily steamer.
So long as we were in pilotage I stuck manfully to the wheel. The
undertaking was mine, and with it all its responsibilities, and there
was some tricky steering to be done as we sped by headland and bay, ere
we breasted the great seas outside and the land fell away behind us. But
as soon as the Atlantic had opened out I began to feel that it would
be rather nice to take tea by myself in my own cabin, and it therefore
became necessary to invent a comrade or two, to take their turn at the
wheel.
This was easy enough. A friend or two of my own age, from among the
boys I knew; a friend or two from characters in the books I knew; and
a friend or two from No-man's-land, where every fellow's a born sailor;
and the crew was complete. I addressed them on the poop, divided them
into watches, gave instructions I should be summoned on the first sign
of pirates, whales, or Frenchmen, and retired below to a well-earned
spell of relaxation.
That was the right sort of cabin that I stepped into, shutting the door
behind me with a click. Of course, fire-arms were the first thing I
looked for, and there they were, sure enough, in their racks, dozens of
'em--double-barrelled guns, and repeating-rifles, and long pistols,
and shiny plated revolvers. I rang up the steward and ordered tea, with
scones, and jam in its native pots--none of your finicking shallow glass
dishes; and, when properly streaked with jam, and blown out with tea, I
went through the armoury, clicked the rifles and revolvers, tested the
edges of the cutlasses with my thumb, and filled the cartridge-belts
chock-full. Everything was there, and of the best quality, just as if I
had spent a whole fortnight knocking about Plymouth and ordering things.
Clearly, if this cruise came to grief, it would not be for want of
equipment.
Just as I was beginning on the lockers and the drawers, the watch
reported icebergs on both bows--and, what was more to the point, coveys
of Polar bears on the icebergs. I grasped a rifle or two, and hastened
on deck. The spectacle was indeed magnificent--it generally is, with
icebergs on both bows, and these were exceptionally enormous icebergs.
But I hadn't come there to paint Academy pictures, so the captain's
gig was in the water and manned almost ere the boatswain's whistle had
ceased sounding, and we were pulling hard for the Polar bears--myself
and the rifles in the stern-sheets.
I have rarely enjoyed better shooting than I got during that afternoon's
tramp over the icebergs. Perhaps I was in specially good form; perhaps
the bears “rose” well. Anyhow, the bag was a portentous one. In later
days, on reading of the growing scarcity of Polar bears, my conscience
has pricked me; but that afternoon I experienced no compunction.
Nevertheless, when the huge pile of skins had been hoisted on board,
and a stiff grog had been served out to the crew of the captain's gig,
I ordered the schooner's head to be set due south. For icebergs were
played out, for the moment, and it was getting to be time for something
more tropical.
Tropical was a mild expression of what was to come, as was shortly
proved. It was about three bells in the next day's forenoon watch when
the look-out man first sighted the pirate brigantine. I disliked the
looks of her from the first, and, after piping all hands to quarters,
had the brass carronade on the fore-deck crammed with grape to the
muzzle.
This proved a wise precaution. For the flagitious pirate craft, having
crept up to us under the colours of the Swiss Republic, a state with
which we were just then on the best possible terms, suddenly shook out
the skull-and-cross-bones at her masthead, and let fly with round-shot
at close quarters, knocking into pieces several of my crew, who could
ill be spared. The sight of their disconnected limbs aroused my ire
to its utmost height, and I let them have the contents of the brass
carronade, with ghastly effect. Next moment the hulls of the two ships
were grinding together, the cold steel flashed from its scabbard, and
the death-grapple had begun.
In spite of the deadly work of my grape-gorged carronade, our foe still
outnumbered us, I reckoned, by three to one. Honour forbade my fixing
it at a lower figure--this was the minimum rate at which one dared to do
business with pirates. They were stark veterans, too, every man seamed
with ancient sabre-cuts, whereas my crew had many of them hardly
attained the maturity which is the gift of ten long summers--and the
whole thing was so sudden that I had no time to invent a reinforcement
of riper years. It was not surprising, therefore, that my dauntless
boarding-party, axe in hand and cutlass between teeth, fought their way
to the pirates' deck only to be repulsed again and yet again, and that
our planks were soon slippery with our own ungrudged and inexhaustible
blood. At this critical point in the conflict, the bo'sun, grasping me
by the arm, drew my attention to a magnificent British man-of-war,
just hove to in the offing, while the signalman, his glass at his eye,
reported that she was inquiring whether we wanted any assistance or
preferred to go through with the little job ourselves.
This veiled attempt to share our laurels with us, courteously as it was
worded, put me on my mettle. Wiping the blood out of my eyes, I ordered
the signalman to reply instantly, with the half-dozen or so of flags
that he had at his disposal, that much as we appreciated the valour
of the regular service, and the delicacy of spirit that animated
its commanders, still this was an orthodox case of young
gentleman-adventurer versus the unshaved pirate, and Her Majesty's
Marine had nothing to do but to form the usual admiring and applauding
background. Then, rallying round me the remnant of my faithful crew, I
selected a fresh cutlass (I had worn out three already) and plunged once
more into the pleasing carnage.
The result was not long doubtful. Indeed, I could not allow it to be, as
I was already getting somewhat bored with the pirate business, and was
wanting to get on to something more southern and sensuous. All serious
resistance came to an end as soon as I had reached the quarter-deck and
cut down the pirate chief--a fine black-bearded fellow in his way,
but hardly up to date in his parry-and-thrust business. Those whom our
cutlasses had spared were marched out along their own plank, in the
approved old fashion; and in tune the scuppers relieved the decks of
the blood that made traffic temporarily impossible. And all the time the
British-man-of-war admired and applauded in the offing.
As soon as we had got through with the necessary throat-cutting and
swabbing-up all hands set to work to discover treasure; and soon the
deck shone bravely with ingots and Mexican dollars and church plate.
There were ropes of pearls, too, and big stacks of nougat; and rubies,
and gold watches, and Turkish Delight in tubs. But I left these trifles
to my crew, and continued the search alone. For by this time I had
determined that there should be a Princess on board, carried off to
be sold in captivity to the bold bad Moors, and now with beating heart
awaiting her rescue by me, the Perseus of her dreams.
I came upon her at last in the big state-cabin in the stern; and she
wore a holland pinafore over her Princess-clothes, and she had brown
wavy hair, hanging down her back, just like--well, never mind, she had
brown wavy hair. When gentle-folk meet, courtesies pass; and I will
not weary other people with relating all the compliments and
counter-compliments that we exchanged, all in the most approved manner.
Occasions like this, when tongues wagged smoothly and speech flowed
free, were always especially pleasing to me, who am naturally inclined
to be tongue-tied with women. But at last ceremony was over, and we sat
on the table and swung our legs and agreed to be fast friends. And I
showed her my latest knife--one-bladed, horn-handled, terrific, hung
round my neck with string; and she showed me the chiefest treasures the
ship contained, hidden away in a most private and particular locker--a
musical box with a glass top that let you see the works, and a railway
train with real lines and a real tunnel, and a tin iron-clad that
followed a magnet, and was ever so much handier in many respects than
the real full-sized thing that still lay and applauded in the offing.
There was high feasting that night in my cabin. We invited the captain
of the man-of-war--one could hardly do less, it seemed to me--and the
Princess took one end of the table and I took the other, and the captain
was very kind and nice, and told us fairy-stories, and asked us both to
come and stay with him next Christmas, and promised we should have some
hunting, on real ponies. When he left I gave him some ingots and things,
and saw him into his boat; and then I went round the ship and addressed
the crew in several set speeches, which moved them deeply, and with my
own hands loaded up the carronade with grape-shot till it ran over at
the mouth. This done, I retired into the cabin with the Princess, and
locked the door. And first we started the musical box, taking turns to
wind it up; and then we made toffee in the cabin-stove; and then we ran
the train round and round the room, and through and through the tunnel;
and lastly we swam the tin ironclad in the bath, with the soap-dish for
a pirate.
Next morning the air was rich with spices, porpoises rolled and
gambolled round the bows, and the South Sea Islands lay full in
view (they were the real South Sea Islands, of course--not the badly
furnished journeymen-islands that are to be perceived on the map). As
for the pirate brigantine and the man-of-war, I don't really know what
became of them. They had played their part very well, for the time,
but I wasn't going to bother to account for them, so I just let them
evaporate quietly. The islands provided plenty of fresh occupation. For
here were little bays of silvery sand, dotted with land-crabs; groves of
palm-trees wherein monkeys frisked and pelted each other with cocoanuts;
and caves, and sites for stockades, and hidden treasures significantly
indicated by skulls, in riotous plenty; while birds and beasts of every
colour and all latitudes made pleasing noises which excited the sporting
instinct.
The islands lay conveniently close together, which necessitated
careful steering as we threaded the devious and intricate channels that
separated them. Of course no one else could be trusted at the wheel, so
it is not surprising that for some time I quite forgot that there was
such a thing as a Princess on board. This is too much the masculine way,
whenever there's any real business doing. However, I remembered her as
soon as the anchor was dropped, and I went below and consoled her, and
we had breakfast together, and she was allowed to “pour out,” which
quite made up for everything. When breakfast was over we ordered out
the captain's gig, and rowed all about the islands, and paddled, and
explored, and hunted bisons and beetles and butterflies, and found
everything we wanted. And I gave her pink shells and tortoises and great
milky pearls and little green lizards; and she gave me guineapigs, and
coral to make into, waistcoat-buttons; and tame sea-otters, and a real
pirate's powder-horn. It was a prolific day and a long-lasting one, and
weary were we with all our hunting and our getting and our gathering,
when at last we clambered into the captain's gig and rowed back to a
late tea.
The following day my conscience rose up and accused me. This was not
what I had come out to do. These triflings with pearls and parrakeets,
these al fresco luncheons off yams and bananas--there was no “making of
history” about them. I resolved that without further dallying I would
turn to and capture the French frigate, according to the original
programme. So we upped anchor with the morning tide, and set all sail
for San Salvador.
Of course I had no idea where San Salvador really was. I haven't now,
for that matter. But it seemed a right-sounding sort of name for a place
that was to have a bay that was to hold a French frigate that was to
be cut out; so, as I said, we sailed for San Salvador, and made the bay
about eight bells that evening, and saw the top-masts of the frigate
over the headland that sheltered her. And forthwith there was summoned
a Council of War.
It is a very serious matter, a Council of War. We had not held one
hitherto, pirates and truck of that sort not calling for such solemn
treatment. But in an affair that might almost be called international,
it seemed well to proceed gravely and by regular steps. So we met in my
cabin--the Princess, and the bo'sun, and a boy from the real-life lot,
and a man from among the book-men, and a fellow from No-man's-land, and
myself in the chair. The bo'sun had taken part in so many cuttings-out
during his past career that practically he did all the talking, and
was the Council of War himself. It was to be an affair of boats, he
explained. A boat's-crew would be told off to cut the cables, and two
boats'-crews to climb stealthily on board and overpower the sleeping
Frenchmen, and two more boats'-crews to haul the doomed vessel out of
the bay. This made rather a demand on my limited resources as to
crews; but I was prepared to stretch a point in a case like this, and I
speedily brought my numbers up to the requisite efficiency.
The night was both moonless and starless--I had arranged all that--when
the boats pushed off from the side of our vessel, and made their way
toward the ship that, unfortunately for itself, had been singled out
by Fate to carry me home in triumph. I was in excellent spirits, and,
indeed, as I stepped over the side, a lawless idea crossed my mind, of
discovering another Princess on board the frigate--a French one this
time; I had heard that that sort was rather nice. But I abandoned the
notion at once, recollecting that the heroes of all history had always
been noted for their unswerving constancy. The French captain was snug
in bed when I clambered in through his cabin window and held a naked
cutlass to his throat. Naturally he was surprised and considerably
alarmed, till I discharged one of my set speeches at him, pointing out
that my men already had his crew under hatchways, that his vessel was
even then being towed out of harbour, and that, on his accepting the
situation with a good grace, his person and private property would be
treated with all the respect due to the representative of a great nation
for which I entertained feelings of the profoundest admiration and
regard and all that sort of thing. It was a beautiful speech. The
Frenchman at once presented me with his parole, in the usual way, and,
in a reply of some power and pathos, only begged that I would retire a
moment while he put on his trousers. This I gracefully consented to do,
and the incident ended.
Two of my boats were sunk by the fire from the forts on the shore, and
several brave fellows were severely wounded in the hand-to-hand struggle
with the French crew for the possession of the frigate. But the bo'sun's
admirable strategy, and my own reckless gallantry in securing the French
captain at the outset, had the fortunate result of keeping down the
death-rate. It was all for the sake of the Princess that I had arranged
so comparatively tame a victory. For myself, I rather liked a fair
amount of blood-letting, red-hot shot, and flying splinters. But when
you have girls about the place, they have got to be considered to a
certain extent.
There was another supper-party that night, in my cabin, as soon as we
had got well out to sea; and the French captain, who was the guest of
the evening, was in the greatest possible form. We became sworn friends,
and exchanged invitations to come and stay at each other's homes, and
really it was quite difficult to induce him to take his leave. But at
last he and his crew were bundled into their boats; and after I had
pressed some pirate bullion upon them--delicately, of course, but in a
pleasant manner that admitted of no denial--the gallant fellows quite
broke down, and we parted, our bosoms heaving with a full sense of each
other's magnanimity and good fellowship.
The next day, which was nearly all taken up with shifting our quarters
into the new frigate, so honourably and easily acquired, was a very
pleasant one, as everyone who has gone up in the world and moved into a
larger house will readily understand. At last I had grim, black guns all
along each side, instead of a rotten brass carronade: at last I had a
square-rigged ship, with real yards, and a proper quarter-deck. In fact,
now that I had soared as high as could be hoped in a single voyage,
it seemed about time to go home and cut a dash and show off a bit. The
worst of this ocean-theatre was, it held no proper audience. It was
hard, of course, to relinquish all the adventures that still lay
untouched in these Southern seas. Whaling, for instance, had not yet
been entered upon; the joys of exploration, and strange inland cities
innocent of the white man, still awaited me; and the book of wrecks
and rescues was not yet even opened. But I had achieved a frigate and a
Princess, and that was not so bad for a beginning, and more than enough
to show off with before those dull unadventurous folk who continued on
their mill-horse round at home.
The voyage home was a record one, so far as mere speed was concerned,
and all adventures were scornfully left behind, as we rattled along, for
other adventurers who had still their laurels to win. Hardly later than
the noon of next day we dropped anchor in Plymouth Sound, and heard the
intoxicating clamour of bells, the roar of artillery, and the hoarse
cheers of an excited populace surging down to the quays, that told us we
were being appreciated at something like our true merits. The Lord Mayor
was waiting there to receive us, and with him several Admirals of the
Fleet, as we walked down the lane of pushing, enthusiastic Devonians,
the Princess and I, and our war-worn, weather-beaten, spoil-laden crew.
Everybody was very nice about the French frigate, and the pirate booty,
and the scars still fresh on our young limbs; yet I think what I liked
best of all was, that they all pronounced the Princess to be a duck, and
a peerless, brown-haired darling, and a true mate for a hero, and of the
right Princess-breed.
The air was thick with invitations and with the smell of civic banquets
in a forward stage; but I sternly waved all festivities aside. The
coaches-and-four I had ordered immediately on arriving were blocking the
whole of the High Street; the champing of bits and the pawing of gravel
summoned us to take our seats and be off, to where the real performance
awaited us, compared with which all this was but an interlude. I placed
the Princess in the most highly gilded coach of the lot, and mounted to
my place at her side; and the rest of the crew scrambled on board of the
others as best they might. The whips cracked and the crowd scattered and
cheered as we broke into a gallop for home. The noisy bells burst into a
farewell peal--
Yes, that was undoubtedly the usual bell for school-room tea. And high
time too, I thought, as I tumbled out of the bath, which was beginning
to feel very hard to the projecting portions of my frame-work. As I
trotted downstairs, hungrier even than usual, farewells floated up from
the front door, and I heard the departing voices of our angular elderly
visitors as they made their way down the walk. Man was still catching
it, apparently--Man was getting it hot. And much Man cared! The seas
were his, and their islands; he had his frigates for the taking, his
pirates and their hoards for an unregarded cutlass-stroke or two; and
there were Princesses in plenty waiting for him somewhere--Princesses of
the right sort.