"As," says one of Mr. Punch's many and very welcome correspondents,
"you will probably be writing for the benefit of your readers a short
handbook on how to be demobilised, I enclose for your guidance my
solicitor's bill. He was engaged from November 12th until I returned
home on leave on December 30th and took a hand in the game myself.
The chief work was tracing the various Government Departments to their
hidden lairs in which they indulge in the pleasing habit of exchanging
minutes.
"Some day perhaps demobilisation will reach me. The sooner the better,
for I can never settle this account on my Army pay."
So much for the preamble. Here, with the alteration only of certain
names, is the document itself. Mr. Jones, it should be mentioned, is a
member of the firm to which the Officer in question (whom we will call
Mr. Lute) wishes to return:--
1918. £ s. d.
Nov. 12. Attending Mr. Jones on calling on
the telephone as to Mr. Lute and
advising him to make an application 6 8
" 27. Attending Demobilisation Office,
Whitehall Gardens, when the place
was too crowded to be seen to-day.
Engaged nearly two hours. 13 4
Writing Mr. Lute I was putting
through application. 3 6
" 28. Attending New Bridge Street when I
interviewed Official and he handed
me pivotal form after explaining
circumstances. 18 4
" 29. Attending Mr. Jones on calling when
Mrs. Lute was present, filling in
form after discussing same. Engaged
3 to 3.50. 10 0