“They’re always pickin’ on me,” moaned Jimmy a few weeks later as he
flung the letter he had just finished reading down on his desk in a
corner of the dingy office of the Colonial Theatre and kicked
impulsively at a crumpled pile of discarded newspapers on the floor.
“What’s the matter, old man?” inquired Matthews, looking up from a stack
of letters on his desk and regarding the press agent with a bantering
smile. “Is Bartlett out on the rampage again?”
“No,” replied Jimmy in a disgusted tone of voice. “I wish he was. He’s
postin’ three sheets tellin’ what a grand little fellow I am. That’s
what gets my pet Angora.”
“What’s the catch?” questioned the other.
“Oh, that’s concealed in the last paragraph. He starts out with a lot of
hot air about how good I am and how pleased he is at the wonderful
showing I’ve landed over here in Boston, and a bunch of other junk and
then he—wait, I’ll read you the finish. He says—‘and being desirous of
showing my appreciation of your efforts in a concrete way I have decided
to intrust to you the general direction of the publicity campaign of
’The Ganges Princess.’ I will send someone to take over ‘Keep Moving’ on
Saturday, and you will kindly report at this office on Monday morning.’”
Matthews, who had sauntered over to Jimmy’s desk during the reading of
Chester Bartlett’s letter, looked frankly bewildered.
“I’m pretty dense, I guess,” he said. “I don’t see anything in that to
cause you to exhibit any signs of distress. He’s handing you the prize
job of the season on a gold platter. You couldn’t stop the papers from
printing stuff about that show with an injunction from the Supreme
Court. Don’t you realize that?”
“Oh, that part of it’s all right,” replied Jimmy. “I suppose I’ve got a
nerve to put up a holler, but I can’t help it. It’s this thing of bein’
bounced about like a tennis ball that makes me sore. The minute I get
sewed up with one show and the machinery in the little old idea factory
gets all oiled up and is makin’ 286 revolutions to the minute, along
comes a letter or a wire shootin’ me on to join somethin’ else. Gee, I
wish I was workin’ for myself and not for the other guy.”
Jimmy would have resented any suggestion that the look which crept into
his eyes as he said this was wistful, but it was just that. He paused
and gazed out of the window at the scurrying throng of early morning
shoppers. Across his face there came and went the shadow of a pathetic
smile, a smile that seemed to express for a moment the elation of
holding within his grasp the very substance of things hoped for and
which instantly merged into something that epitomized utter
hopelessness. Matthews sensed his mood and put his hand on the press
agent’s shoulder.
“Why don’t you take a flier on your own?” He asked. “Everybody in the
business would wish you well.”
Jimmy snorted derisively.
“What would I use for money?” he inquired sarcastically. “Playwrights
ain’t takin’ good wishes for advance royalties and you can’t slip a few
kind words into the salary envelopes on Saturday night.”
“But it don’t take so much to make a start,” persisted the other. “Don’t
you manage to save anything at all?”
“Sure. I’ve got almost enough cigarette coupons to get a gold plated
safety razor or a genuine silk umbrella, and there’s 20 shares of Flying
Frog copper stock in the tray of my trunk. That must be worth all of a
dollar and eight cents, and it cost me about thirty dollars, too. Quit
your kiddin’, old man. An agent has about as much chance these days of
savin’ money as the Kaiser has of bein’ invited to a week-end party by
the King of England.”
Jimmy stood up and began to pace slowly up and down the room. The
wistful look came into his eyes again and the longing smile touched his
mouth once more.
“Still,” he said, half to himself, “it’s kind of nice to think about
ownin’ your own show even if you know you never will, and to sort of get
a flash in your mind’s eye of a twenty-four sheet with ‘James T. Martin
presents’ splashed across the top of it in black on yellow with red
initials. ‘James T. Martin presents’—that’d certainly look immense on
that low board on Broadway near Forty-fifth street that hits everybody
on the big street right in the eye.”
Matthews, in response to a summons from the box-office, left him still
soliloquizing under his breath and gazing pensively across the snow
covered Common.
* * * * *
“The Ganges Princess” was the dramatic sensation of a decade. It had
been running for a solid year at the huge Hendrik Hudson Theatre in New
York, having weathered a hot summer with hardly a noticeable falling off
of receipts. It was Chester Bartlett’s first venture into what is
technically known as the “legitimate field” and he had staged it with
that lavish disregard for expense and with that keen sense of the
artistic which had given him pre-eminence as a producer of light musical
entertainment.
Written by one of America’s most flamboyant playwrights it told a turgid
story of Oriental passion and treachery set against a spectacular
background depicting scenes in ancient India. As sheer spectacle it
quite transcended anything hitherto attempted in the United States. It
presented a series of settings which were so flaming in their color, so
permeated with the mystery of the East and so splendid in their
suggestion of great size and vast distances that each new revelation was
invariably greeted with gasps of amazement from the audience. A cast
bristling with distinguished names gave verisimilitude to the somewhat
bombastic dialogue and purely incidental members of the company included
a troupe of fifty real nautch-girls, six elephants, five camels and a
flock of sheep.
“The Ganges Princess” was not merely the talk of New York. It was
literally the talk of the country and its forthcoming tour promised to
be one of the most important in the history of the American theatre. It
was booked for extended engagements in only a few of the larger cities,
there being a comparatively limited number of places containing
playhouses with stages large enough to accommodate the production and
possessing auditoriums of sufficient size to insure financial success.
Bartlett had mapped out a plan of exploitation which was quite the most
comprehensive ever undertaken in the annals of press agentry. No less
than half a dozen advance couriers—the pick of the country—were to
devote their energies to the advertising and newspaper campaign alone,
while the purely business details were to be intrusted to trained
experts who were to have no other duties. This would leave the purveyors
of publicity free and untrammeled in their assaults upon the press and a
defenseless public.
Jimmy Martin was to be generalissimo, commander-in-chief and field
marshal of the combined forces and was to be entrusted with delegated
powers such as had never before been given to anyone holding a similar
position. Matthews had understated the case when he referred to the
place as the prize job of the season. It wasn’t even comparable. Nothing
like it had ever been known for opportunity and power, since the modern
variety of press agent came into being. Jimmy realized that himself
after Bartlett had finished outlining the scope of the proposed
campaign.
“Go to it, my boy,” the manager said at the completion of an hour’s
talk, “and remember that the azure dome of heaven is the limit and that
in the bright lexicon of showmanship there are no such words as ‘it
can’t be done.’ Do I make myself clear?”
“Absolutely,” replied Jimmy cheerfully. “I’m to sit with my feet in a
mustard bath and I’m to play my cards without regard to the feelin’s,
digestions, general state of temperature or politics of anyone else in
the game. I’m to see all raises and tilt it one for luck whenever I
think the time is ripe for a killin’. Have I got the right combination?”
Bartlett laughed heartily at the flavory idioms which flowed so freely
from Jimmy’s lips.
“Thou hast, most potent, grave and reverend signor,” he replied, bowing
low in exaggerated mock courtesy. “By the way,” he continued, getting
back to business again, “there’s another thing I completely forgot. I’ve
engaged a literary chap for a special stunt, and I want you to figure
out some way of getting it across so that it seems on the level.
“The general idea is to have this fellow deliver a series of lectures on
India about three weeks ahead of the play date. It’ll be a camouflaged
boost for the show. Every once in a while he’ll make some casual remark
about the play which he understands is shortly to be seen in this city,
et cetera, but there won’t be enough of this stuff for anyone to
consider it as being at all out of the way.
“This gentleman will be under your direct and special control. It will
be up to you to arrange to have lectures given in every city under the
auspices of some literary society or social welfare group or under the
patronage of the Daughters of the American Revolution—any kind of a
crowd that’ll give the stunt prestige and distinction. I’ve written Mr.
Denby to meet you at the theatre this evening.”
“Denby, eh? It can’t possibly be little old J. Herbert Denby, the
highbrow kid, can it?”
“That’s the name. Know him?”
A grin of delight spread over Jimmy’s features.
“Fairly well,” he chuckled. “He tipped me off to a grand idea over in
Baltimore a year or so ago. Old George B. Bookworm, eh? If he’s still
doin’ his regular act I’ve got a lot of laughs comin’ to me on this
trip. Say, you don’t know how good that bird’ll be for a stunt of this
kind. When it comes to the uplift stuff and the literary bunk he’s there
in seven separate and distinct languages. And innocent! Say, he could
make a two year old baby look like an old offender with a Sing Sing
past. They’ll fall for him on sight.”
The guileless Mr. Denby greeted Jimmy in the lobby of the Hendrik Hudson
that night in his best professorial manner and smiled benignantly
through his tortoise shell glasses.
“You will, I think, concede, Mr. Martin,” said he, proffering a rather
limp hand, “that we give the lie direct to Mr. Kipling.”
“Eh? What’s that?” mumbled the other. “I don’t get you.”
Mr. Denby smiled condescendingly and replied in a tone of voice that
Jimmy felt to be a bit too irritatingly suave.
“Mr. Kipling—the poet—you know. He says, ‘East is East and West is West,
and never the twain shall meet.’ Well, we are meeting on a common ground
in a common cause and we are—may I venture to suggest—decidedly alien to
each other in our thoughts and sympathies, are we not?”
Jimmy eyed him suspiciously before replying.
“Listen, old dear,” he said evenly, “I can never quite figure whether
you’re kiddin’ me or not and I’m going to be too busy from now on to ask
for diagrams. If we’re goin’ to get together you’ve got to get out the
little old parachute and jump off into space. In plain English you’ve
got to dive down to earth and keep both feet on the pavement. Save the
flossy stuff for your lectures. Are you on?”
“Of course, of course,” stammered Mr. Denby. “I meant no offense. I have
an unfortunate habit of making poetic allusions. I shall correct it.
Believe me, my dear Mr. Martin, I shall correct it. I have much to say
to you. Where shall we have a little—a little,—shall I say pow-wow—to
talk over the—the ah—dope?”
“That’s the idea,” replied Jimmy, slapping the other on the back and
laughing heartily. “That’s regular language. Let’s go back to the stage
manager’s office and work out a plan of attack.”
The press agent led the way through a passage which ran behind the boxes
to the stage and they presently found themselves dodging the canvas
walls of a great Indian temple which were being deftly swung into
position by a small army of stage hands and picking their steps
cautiously through a cluttered array of papier-mache Buddhas, canopied
thrones and other properties. Once closeted in the little office in a
far corner they began a consultation which lasted for more than an hour.
It was agreed that Jimmy was to travel sufficiently far enough ahead of
J. Herbert Denby to arrange for and advertise his lectures and the press
agent took pains to carefully instruct the latter as to the best methods
of keeping his connection with “The Ganges Princess” company a remote
and cherished secret. The subjects chosen by the lecturer were, to say
the least, not calculated to arouse any suspicion. Jimmy sat entranced
as J. Herbert read them off from a typewritten slip he took from his
card-case.
“I shall talk first,” he said, “upon ‘The Rig-Veda—A Primitive Folk Song
Embodying the Soul of an Ancient People.’ I shall follow that with a
discourse on ‘Brahma, Vishnu and Siva—The Triple Manifestation of the
Hindu God’ and for my third and final lecture I have chosen perhaps a
more popular theme—‘Mogul versus Mahratta—A Study in Dynastic
Conflicts.’ Do you think that program will fill the bill?”
Jimmy was plainly a little bit groggy and he found it difficult to
articulate for a moment or two.
“Say, old scout,” he finally managed to remark. “I’m almost down for the
count. You talk like an encyclopedia. You’ll have ’em all pop-eyed when
you pull that stuff. The harder it is to understand the harder they’ll
fall. You’re there, George B. Bookworm, you’re there. I can see ’em
passin’ flowers over the footlights already.”
J. Herbert, appreciating the sincerity of Jimmy’s enthusiastic approval,
blushed a little and tried to appear at ease, but it was a difficult
task. The two strolled out on the darkened stage and stood in the wings
watching the unfolding of the final scene of the second act in which the
Maharajah of Rumpore returned unexpectedly, with his followers, from a
tiger-hunting expedition to find his favorite wife in the arms of the
villainous Begum of Baroda.
They found themselves suddenly wedged in the center of a crowd of male
supernumeraries who had come clattering down the stairs leading from the
dressing rooms, accoutered in ancient armour and ready for participation
in the stirring episode which was to bring the act to a close. Most of
these “extra people,” that being their classification in the world of
the theatre, were the usual assortment of shiftless idlers who eke out a
precarious existence by doing such odd jobs on the stage and whose
Oriental aspect was purely a matter of simulation. There were, however,
a number of genuine East Indians among them, random visitors from an
alien clime picked up here and there and utilized to give an added air
of verisimilitude to the ensemble scenes.
One of these latter, a handsome chap under thirty, whose skin was the
color of strong coffee diluted with rich cream and whose features had
the classic regularity of a Grecian sculptured head, brushed against
Jimmy’s elbow and apologized profusely.
“I am very much sorry if I have caused myself to discommode you,” he
murmured, smiling pleasantly and revealing a row of teeth of dazzling
whiteness.
“That’s all right,” replied Jimmy, looking at him in surprise. “You’re a
regular, I see. You don’t belong to the volunteers.”
“No, sahib, I am from the East. I am long distance from home-land of my
fathers, if that is what you mean.”
Jimmy looked at him with new interest. He had an air about him, an
indefinable air of distinction that attracted the attention of even the
aesthetic J. Herbert Denby, who edged closer and entered the
conversation.
“Your English is excellent,” he remarked. “You have perhaps studied in
one of our universities?”
“No, sahib, not here—in Oxford. I have been in this country but a few
months. Life has been a difficult problem here in this great democracy,
but I am a fatalist, sahib, and I do not make myself uneasiness as to
the future. It is useless for it is written already on the scrolls of
time.”
The next instant he swept forward on to the stage with the others in
response to a signal from the stage manager who was peering through a
small hole in the scenery.
“My word,” said the astonished Mr. Denby. “Fancy a chap like that being
content to figure as one of the mob. He has the grand manner of an
Indian prince.”
Jimmy looked up at him quickly.
“It’s moved and seconded that we make him one,” he said.
“What’s that?”
“All in favor of the motion signify their assent by saying ‘Aye.’ Aye!
Contrary—no. The ayes have it and the motion is carried. What’ll we call
him?”
“I must confess that I don’t grasp the significance of what you mean,”
said the puzzled Mr. Denby.
“You will,” returned Jimmy as he led the way out to the front of the
house again. “I’m goin’ to give you a little playmate on this trip if I
can get Bartlett to go along. Local color stuff. You’ve slipped me
another grand little idea, old man. It’s a bear.”
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