THE ACQUAINTANCE RIPENS INTO FRIENDSHIP.--USEFUL INFORMATION OF ALL
SORTS.--AN EXCELLENT METHOD OF TALKING FRENCH, ATTENDED WITH LITTLE
LABOUR AND CERTAIN SUCCESS.--A COLLECTOR.--A SALE-ROOM.--A PEER OF THE
REALM.
The visit of Miss Morrison, which quickly followed, was long and
confidential. Mrs. Barnaby very condescendingly explained to her all the
peculiar circumstances of her position, which rendered her the most
valuable friend in the world, and also the most eligible match extant
for a man of rank and fortune; but all these latter particulars were
communicated under the seal of secrecy, never, upon any account, to be
alluded to or mentioned to any one; and in return for all this, Miss
Morrison gave the widow a catalogue _raisonnee_ of the most
marriageable men at present in Cheltenham, together with the best
accounts of their rent-rolls and expectancies that it had been in the
power of pertinacious questionings to elicit. But it would be
superfluous to narrate this part of the conversation at length, as the
person and affairs of many a goodly gentleman were canvassed therein,
who, as they never became of much importance to Mrs. Barnaby, can be of
none to those occupied by the study of her character and adventures.
There were other points, however, canvassed in this interview, which
were productive of immediate results; and one of these was the great
importance of attending the sales by auction, which, sometimes preluded
by soft music, and always animated as they went on by the most elegant
conversation, occupied the _beau monde_ of Cheltenham for many hours of
every day.
"Your descriptions are delightful, Miss Morrison!" exclaimed the
animated widow. "I could almost fancy myself there already, ... and go I
will constantly, you may depend upon that; ... and I want to consult you
about another thing, Miss Morrison.... There's my niece, you know--the
little girl you saw at breakfast ... do you think it would be quite the
thing to make her leave her books and lessons, and all that, to waste
her time at the sales?... And besides, baby as she is, she gets more
staring at than I think at all good for her."
"_Jay non doot paw_," replied Miss Morrison, "for she is divinely
handsome, _say toon bow tay par fit_, as they say at Paris; and my
belief is, that if you wish to be the fashion at Cheltenham, the best
thing you can do is to let her be seen every day, and all day long. That
face and figure must take, _say clare_."
Mrs. Barnaby fell into a reverie that lasted some minutes. That she did
wish to be the fashion at Cheltenham was certain, but the beauty of
Agnes was not exactly the means by which she would best like to obtain
her wish. She had hoped to depend solely on her own beauty and her own
talents, but she was not insensible to the manifest advantage of having
two strings to her bow; and as the ambition, which made her determine
to be great, was quite as powerful as the vanity which made her
determine to be beautiful, the scheme of making Agnes a partner in her
projects of fascination and conquest was at least worthy of
consideration.
"I must think about it, Miss Morrison," she replied; "there is no
occasion to decide this minute."
"_Poing do too_," said Miss Morrison; "I always like myself to walk
round a thing, as I call it, before I decide to take it. Besides, my
dear madam, a great deal depends upon knowing what is your principal
object.... _Bo coo depong de sell aw...._ If you intend to be at all the
parties, to be marked with a buzz every time you enter the pump-room,
the ball-room, or the sales, I would say, dress up that young lady in
the most elegant and attractive style possible, and you will be sure to
succeed ... _paw le mowyndra doot de sell aw_.... But if, on the other
hand, your purpose is to marry yourself, _set o tra shews_, and you must
act altogether in a different way."
"I understand you, my dear Miss Morrison, perfectly," replied the widow,
greatly struck by the sound sense and clear perception of her new
friend; "and I will endeavour, with the most perfect frankness, to make
you understand all my plans, for I feel sure that you deserve my full
confidence, and that nobody can be more capable of giving me good
advice.... The truth is, Miss Morrison, that I do wish to marry again.
My fortune, indeed, is ample enough to afford me every luxury I can wish
for; ... but a widowed heart, my dear Miss Morrison ... a widowed heart
is a heavy load to bear, where the temper, like mine, is full of the
softest sensibility and all the tenderest affections.... Therefore, as I
said, it is my wish to marry again; but God forbid I should be weak and
wicked enough to do so in any way unbecoming my station in society,--a
station to which I have every right, as well from birth as fortune. No
attachment, however strong, will ever induce me to forget what I owe to
my family and to the world; and unless circumstances shall enable me
rather to raise than debase myself in society, I will never, whatever
my feelings may be, permit myself to marry at all."
"_Crowyee moy vous avay raisong share dam!_" exclaimed Miss Morrison.
"Such being the case," resumed the widow, "it appears to me evident,
that the first object to be attended to is the getting into good
society; and if, in order to obtain this, I find it necessary to bring
forward Agnes Willoughby, it must certainly be done ... especially as
her singing is much more remarkable, I believe, than even the beauty of
her person."
"_Et he po-se-ble?_" said Miss Morrison, joyfully. "Then, in that case,
_share a me_, there is nothing in the whole world, of any sort or kind,
that can prevent your being sought out and invited to every fashionable
house in the place. An ugly girl, that sings well, may easily get
herself asked wherever she chooses to go; but a beautiful one, _aveck
ung talong samblabel_, may not only go herself, but carry with her as
many of her friends as she pleases."
"Really!..." said Mrs. Barnaby, thoughtfully. "This is a great
advantage; ... and you feel sure, Miss Morrison, that if I do make up
my mind to bring her forward, this will be the case?"
"_O we_," replied her friend confidently, "_set ung fay certaing_ ...
there is no doubt about it; and if you will, I am ready to make you a
bet of five guineas, play or pay, that if you contrive to make her be
seen and heard once, you will have your table covered with visiting
cards before the end of the week ... _nong douty paw_."
"Well!... we must consider about it, Miss Morrison; ... but I should
like, I think, to go first to some of these crowded places that you talk
about without her, just to see ... that is, if you would be kind enough
to go with me."
"Most certainly I will," replied Miss Morrison, "_aveck leplu grang
plesire_.... Suppose we go to the sale-rooms this morning? There is a
vast variety of most useful and beautiful things to be sold to-day, and
as they always go for nothing, you had better bid a little. It is
thought stylish."
"And must certainly draw attention," said Mrs. Barnaby, with vivacity.
"You are quite right ... _say sa_, ... and it is just about time to get
ready.... All our gentlemen will be there, you may be sure; and perhaps,
you know, some one of them may join us, which is a great advantage, ...
for nothing makes women look so much like nobody as having no man near
them.... As to marriage, I don't think of it for myself ... _jay pre
mong party_; ... but I confess I do hate to be anywhere without the
chance of a man's coming to speak to one ... _mays, eel foh meytra mong
shappo ... o reyvoyr!_"
Mrs. Barnaby now found herself at last obliged to confess she did not
understand her.
"Of course I know French perfectly," she said; "but as I have never been
in the country, and not much in the habit of speaking it, even at home,
I cannot always follow you.... I would give a great deal, Miss Morrison,
to speak the language as beautifully as you do!"
"It is a great assistance in society, certainly," replied Miss Morrison,
very modestly; "but I do assure you that it is quite impossible for
anybody in the world to speak it as I do without being in the country,
and taking the same incessant pains as I did. As to learning it from
books, it is all nonsense to think of it ... how in the world is one to
get the accent and pronunciation?... But I must say that I believe few
people ever learned so much in so short a time as I did. I invented a
method for myself, without which I should never have been able to speak
as I do. I never was without my pencil and paper in my hand, and I wrote
down almost every word I heard, in such a manner as that I was always
able to read it myself, without asking anybody. The English of it all I
got easily afterwards, for almost everybody understands me when I read
my notes according to my own spelling, especially English people; and
these translations I wrote down over against my French, which I call
making both a grammar and dictionary entirely of my own invention, ...
and I have often been complimented upon it, I assure you."
"And I'm sure you well deserve it. I never heard anything so clever in
my life," replied Mrs. Barnaby. "But how soon shall we begin our walk?"
"Now directly, if you please.... I will go and put on my hat ... that
was what I said to you in French.... _Eel foh meytra mong shappo._"
Mrs. Barnaby then repaired to her toilet; and having done her very
utmost to make herself as conspicuously splendid and beautiful as
possible, turned to Agnes, who was still writing in her dark corner, and
said,... "You had better finish what you are about, Agnes, and I hope it
is something that will improve you.... I am going out with Miss Morrison
on business ... and if the evening is fine, I will take you a walk
somewhere or other."
Agnes again blessed their rencontre with this valuable new friend, and
saw the satin and feathers of her aunt disappear with a feeling of great
thankfulness that she was spared the necessity of attending them.
* * * * *
On leaving Mrs. Barnaby, Mr. Alexander Pringle paid a visit to his good
friend and patient Lady Elizabeth Norris, (the aunt of Colonel Hubert,)
who, as usual, was passing a few weeks of the season at Cheltenham, as
much for the sake of refreshing her spirits by the variety of its
company, as for the advantage of taking a daily glass of water at its
spring. The worthy apothecary was as useful by the information and
gossippings he furnished on the former subject, as by his instructions
on the latter, and was invariably called in, the day after her
ladyship's arrival, however perfect the state of her health might be;
and given moreover to understand that a repetition of a professional
visit would be expected at least three times a week during her stay.
He now found the old lady sitting alone; for Sir Edward and Lady
Stephenson, who were her guests, were engaged in one of their favourite
morning expeditions, exploring the beautiful environs of the town, a
pleasure which they enjoyed as uninterruptedly as the most sentimental
newly-married pair could desire, as, by a strange but very general
spirit of economy, few of the wealthy and luxurious visitants of
Cheltenham indulge themselves in the expense of a turnpike.
"Soh! Pringle ... you are come at last, are you?" said Lady
Elizabeth.... "I have been expecting you this hour ... the Stephensons'
are off and away again to the world's end, in search of wild flowers and
conjugal romance, leaving me to my own devices--a privilege worth little
or nothing, unless you can add something new to my list here for next
Wednesday."
"Perhaps I may be able to assist your ladyship," returned her
Esculapius; "that is, provided Lady Stephenson knows nothing about it,
for I fear she has not yet forgiven my introduction of Mr. Myrtle and
the two Misses Tonkins."
"Stuff and nonsense!... What does it signify, now she is married and out
of the way, what animals I get into my menagerie?... But I don't think,
Pringle, that you are half such a clever truffle-dog as you used to
be.... What a time it is since you have told me of anything new!"
"Upon my word, my lady, it is not my fault," replied the apothecary,
laughing; "I never see or hear anything abroad without treasuring it in
my memory for your ladyship's service; and I am now come expressly to
mention a new arrival at the ----, which appears to promise well."
"I rejoice.... Is it male or female?"
"Female, my lady, and there are two."
"Of the same species, and the same race?"
"Decidedly not; but the contrast produces a very pleasant effect; and,
moreover, though infinitely amusing, they are quite _comme il faut_. I
understand the elder lady is sister to Mrs. Peters of Clifton."
Mr. Pringle then proceeded to describe his visit to Mrs. Barnaby, and
did justice to the florid style of her beauty, dress, and conversation.
But when he came to speak of the young girl who was _vouee au noir_, and
of her aunt's pertinacious resolution that she should take the waters
and be treated as an invalid, notwithstanding the very excellent state
of her health, the old lady rubbed her hands together, and exultingly
exclaimed, "Good!... admirable!... You are a very fine fellow, Pringle,
and have hit this off well. Why, man, I saw your delightful widow this
morning at the Pump, rouge, ringlets, and all;... I saw her taste the
waters and turn sick; and now, because she must have a reason for
shewing herself at the Pump, she is going to make the poor girl drink
for her.... Capital creature!... I understand it all ... poor little
girl!... And so the widow wants acquaintance, does she?... I offer
myself, my drawing-room shall be open to her, Pringle.... And now, how
can I manage to get introduced to her?"
"You will not find that very difficult, Lady Elizabeth, depend upon
it.... I will undertake to promise for this Mrs. Barnaby, that she will
be visible wherever men and women congregate. At the ball, for instance,
to-morrow night; does your ladyship intend to be there?"
"Certainly.... And if she be there, I will manage the matter of
introduction, with or without intervention, and so obtain this
full-blown peony for my shew on Wednesday next."
* * * * *
Whilst fate and Mr. Pringle were thus labouring in one quarter of the
town to bring Mrs. Barnaby into notice, she was herself not idle in
another in her exertions to produce the same effect. The sale-room, to
which the experienced Miss Morrison led her, was already full when they
entered it; but the little difficulty which preceded their obtaining
seats was rather favourable to them than otherwise; for, as if on
purpose to display the sagacity of that lady's prognostications, two of
the gentlemen who had made part of their company at breakfast, not only
made room for them, but appeared well disposed to enter into
conversation, and to offer every attention they could desire.
"Mr. Griffiths, if I mistake not," said Miss Morrison, bowing to one of
them; "I hope you have been quite well, sir, since we met last year....
Give me leave to introduce, Mr. Griffiths, Mrs. Barnaby."
"I am happy to make your acquaintance," said the gentleman, bowing low.
"Your young friend whom I saw with you this morning is not here ... is
she?"
"No, sir," replied Mrs. Barnaby, in the most amiable tone imaginable;
"the dear girl is pursuing her morning studies at home."
"Introduce me, Griffiths," whispered his companion.
"Mr. Patterson, Mrs. Barnaby; Mr. Patterson, Miss Morrison," and a very
social degree of intimacy appeared to be immediately established.
"Oh! what a lovely vase!" exclaimed Mrs. Barnaby. "What an elegant set
of candle-sticks!" cried Miss Morrison, as the auctioneer brought
forward the articles to be bid for, which being followed by a variety of
interesting observations on nearly all the people, and nearly all the
goods displayed before them, afforded Mrs. Barnaby such an opportunity
of being energetic and animated, that more than one eye-glass was turned
towards her, producing that reciprocity of cause and effect which it is
so interesting to trace; for the more the gentlemen and ladies looked at
her, the more Mrs. Barnaby talked and laughed, and the more Mrs. Barnaby
talked and laughed, the more the gentlemen and ladies looked at her.
Flattered, fluttered, and delighted beyond measure, the eyes of the
widow wandered to every quarter of the room; and for some time every
quarter of the room appeared equally interesting to her; but at length
her attention was attracted by the almost fixed stare of an individual
who stood in the midst of a knot of gentlemen at some distance, but
nearly opposite to the place she occupied.
"Can you tell me, sir, who that tall, stout gentleman is in the green
frock-coat, with lace and tassels?... That one who is looking this way
with an eye-glass."
"The gentleman with red hair?" returned Mr. Patterson, to whom the
question was addressed.
"Yes, that one, rather sandy, but a very fine-looking man."
"That is Lord Mucklebury, Mrs. Barnaby.... He is a great amateur of
beauty; and upon my word he seems exceedingly taken with some fair
object or other in this part of the room."
The sight of land after a long voyage is delightful ... rest is
delightful after labour, food after fasting; but it may be doubted if
either of these joys could bear comparison with the emotion that now
swelled the bosom of Mrs. Barnaby. This was the first time, to the best
of her knowledge and belief, that she had ever been looked at by a lord
at all ... and what a look it was!... No passing glance, no slight
unmeaning regard, directed first to one and then to another beauty, but
a long, steady, direct, and unshrinking stare, such as might have made
many women leave the room, but which caused the heart of Mrs. Barnaby to
palpitate with a degree of ecstasy which she had never felt before--no,
not even when the most admired officer of a new battalion first fixed
his looks upon her in former days, and advanced in the eyes of all the
girls to ask her to dance; ... for no Lord _anything_ had ever done so;
and thus, the fulness of her new-born joy, while it had the vigorous
maturity of ripened age, glowed also with the early brightness of youth.
It might indeed have been said of Mrs. Barnaby at that moment, that,
"like Mrs. Malaprop and the orange-tree, she bore blossom and fruit at
once."
One proof of the youthful freshness of her emotion was the very naive
manner in which it was betrayed. She could not sit still ... her eyes
rose and fell ... her head turned and twisted ... her reticule opened
and shut ... and the happy man who set all this going must have had much
less experience than my Lord Mucklebury, if he had not immediately
perceived the effect of himself and his eye-glass.
Could Mrs. Barnaby have known at that moment the influence produced by
the presence of Miss Morrison, she would have wished her a thousand
fathoms deep in the ocean; for certain it is, that nothing but her
well-known little quizzical air of unquestionable Cheltenham
respectability, prevented the noble lord from crossing the room, and
amusing himself, without the ceremony of an introduction, in conversing
with the sensitive lady, whose bright eyes and bright rouge had drawn
his attention to her. As it was, however, he thought he had better not,
and contented himself by turning to his ever-useful friend Captain
Singleton, and saying in a tone, the familiarity of which failed not to
make up for its imperiousness, "Singleton!... go and find out who that
great woman is in the green satin and pink feathers ... there's a good
fellow."
Mrs. Barnaby did not hear the words, but she saw the mission as plainly
as my Lord Mucklebury saw her, and her heart thereupon began to beat so
violently, that she had no breath left to demand the sympathy of her
friend under circumstances so pregnant with interest. But though she
hardly knew where she was, nor what she did, she still retained
sufficient presence of mind to mark how the obedient envoy addressed
himself (and, alas! in vain) first to one lounger, and then to another,
who all replied by a shake of the head, which said with terrible
distinctness, "I don't know."
"Gracious heaven, how provoking!" murmured Mrs. Barnaby, as she pressed
her delicately-gloved hand upon her heart to still its beating.... "He
will leave the room without finding out my name!"... Had she been only a
few hours longer acquainted with Mr. Patterson, it is highly probable
she would have desired him, if asked by the little gentleman in black,
so actively making his way through the crowd, what her name was, just to
have the kindness to mention that it was Barnaby. But though very civil,
Mr. Patterson was rather ceremonious; and the unsuccessful messenger had
returned to his lord, and delivered all the shakes of the head which he
had received condensed into one, before she could resolve on so frank a
mode of proceeding. For a few moments longer, however, the amused
nobleman continued his fascinating gaze; and then, giving a signal with
his eye to Singleton that it was his pleasure to move, that active
personage cleared the way before him; and the fat viscount, with his
hands in his waistcoat-pockets, stalked out of the room, but not without
turning his head, and giving one bold, final, open-eyed, steady look at
the agitated widow.
"That man is my fate!" she softly whispered to her soul, as the last
frog on the hinder part of his coat has passed from her eye; ... and
then, like the tender convolvolus when the sunbeam that reached it has
passed away, she drooped and faded till she looked more like a sleeping
picture of Mrs. Barnaby than Mrs. Barnaby herself.
"Do you not find the room very close, Miss Morrison?" said she, after
enduring for a minute or two the sort of vacuum that seemed to weigh
upon her senses.
"_Poing do too_," replied Miss Morrison, speaking through her nose,
which was one method by which she was wont to convey the true Parisian
accent, when she desired that it should be particularly perfect....
"_Poing do too_, Mrs. Barnaby, ... however, I am quite ready to go if
you like it, for I don't think I shall buy anything this morning, and I
don't see many acquaintance here."
Mrs. Barnaby immediately rose; the two civil gentlemen made way for
them, and the widow, followed by her friend, walked out a more pensive,
though not, perhaps, a less happy woman, than when she walked in.