it has doors and windows, as of yore had that of Baron Tondertontonk in
Westphalia. But above the hall-door the family coat-of-arms makes a
fine show, carved there in wood with New Zealand skilfulness. And this
Manor House derives a peculiar character of its own from the
circumstance that its north side leans upon the enceinte, or outer line
of defence belonging to an old ruined castle, so that the back entrance
is what was formerly the castle gate, and through it one passes at once
into the courtyard of that castle, in the middle of which the tall
watch-tower still stands undamaged. From the hall door, which is
surmounted by the coat-of-arms, there comes meeting you a red-cheeked
young lady, who, with her clear blue eyes and fair hair, is to be
called very pretty indeed, although her figure may be considered just
the least bit too roundly substantial. A personification of friendly
kindness, she begs you to go in, and as soon as she ascertains your
wants, serves you up the most delicious milk, a liberal allowance of
first-rate bread and butter, uncooked ham--as good as you would find in
Bayonne--and a small glass of beetroot brandy. Meanwhile, this young
lady (who is none other than Fräulein Anna von Zabelthau) talks to you
gaily and pleasantly of rural matters, displaying anything but a
limited knowledge of such subjects. Suddenly, however, there resounds a
loud and terrible voice, as if from the skies, crying "Anna, Anna,
Anna!" This rather startles you; but Fräulein Anna says, pleasantly,
"There's papa back from his walk, calling for his breakfast from his
study." "Calling from his study," you repeat, or enquire, astonished.
"Yes," says Fräulein Anna, or Fräulein Aennchen, as the people call
her. "Yes; papa's study is up in the tower there, and he calls down
through the speaking trumpet." And you see Aennchen open the narrow
door of the old lower, with a similar _déjeuner à la fourchette_ to
that which you have had yourself, namely, a liberal helping of bread
and ham, not forgetting the beetroot brandy, and go briskly in at it.
But she is back directly, and taking you all over the charming
kitchen-garden, has so much to say about feather-sage, rapuntika,
English turnips, little greenheads, montrue, great yellow, and so
forth, that you have no idea that all these fine names merely mean
various descriptions of cabbages and salads.
I think, dear reader, that this little glimpse which you have had of
Dapsulheim is sufficient to enable you to understand all the outs and
ins of the establishment, concerning which I have to narrate to you all
manner of extraordinary, barely comprehensible, matters and
occurrences. Herr Dapsul von Zabelthau had, during his youth, very
rarely left his parents' country place. They had been people of
considerable means. His tutor, after teaching him foreign languages,
particularly those of the East, fostered a natural inclination which he
possessed towards mysticism, or rather, occupying himself with the
mysterious. This tutor died, leaving as a legacy to young Dapsul a
whole library of occult science, into the very depths of which he
proceeded to plunge. His parents dying, he betook himself to long
journeyings, and (as his tutor had impressed him with the necessity of
doing) to Egypt and India. When he got home again, after many years, a
cousin had looked after his affairs with such zeal that there was
nothing left to him but the little hamlet of Dapsulheim. Herr Dapsul
was too eagerly occupied in the pursuit of the sun-born gold of a
higher sphere to trouble himself about that which was earthly. He
rather felt obliged to his cousin for preserving to him the pleasant,
friendly Dapsulheim, with the fine, tall tower, which might have been
built expressly on purpose for astrological operations, and in the
upper storey and topmost height of which he at once established his
study. And indeed he thanked his said cousin from the bottom of his
heart.
This careful cousin now pointed out that Herr Dapsul von Zabelthau was
bound to marry. Dapsul immediately admitted the necessity, and, without
more ado, married at once the lady whom his cousin had selected for
him. This lady disappeared almost as quickly as she had appeared on the
scene. She died, after bearing him a daughter. The cousin attended to
the marriage, the baptism, and the funeral; so that Dapsul, up in his
tower, paid very little attention to either. For there was a very
remarkable comet visible during most of the time, and Dapsul, ever
melancholy and anticipative of evil, considered that he was involved in
its influence.
The little daughter, under the careful up-bringing of an old
grand-aunt, developed a remarkable aptitude for rural affairs. She had
to begin at the very beginning, and, so to speak, rise from the ranks,
serving successively as goose-girl, maid-of-all-work, upper farm-maid,
housekeeper, and, finally, as mistress, so that Theory was all along
illustrated and impressed upon her mind by a salutary share of
Practice. She was exceedingly fond of ducks and geese, hens and
pigeons, and even the tender broods of well-shaped piglings she was by
no means indifferent to, though she did not put a ribbon and a bell
round a little white sucking-pig's neck and make it into a sort of
lap-dog, as a certain young lady, in another place, was once known to
do. But more than anything--more than even to the fruit trees--she was
devoted to the kitchen-garden. From her grand-aunt's attainments in
this line she had derived very remarkable theoretical knowledge of
vegetable culture (which the reader has seen for himself), as regarded
digging of the ground, sowing the seed, and setting the plants.
Fräulein Aennchen not only superintended all these operations, but lent
most valuable manual aid. She wielded a most vigorous spade--her
bitterest enemy would have admitted this. So that while Herr Dapsul von
Zabelthau was immersed in astrological observations and other important
matters, Fräulein Aennchen carried on the management of the place in
the ablest possible manner, Dapsul looking after the celestial part of
the business, and Aennchen managing the terrestrial side of things with
unceasing vigilance and care.
As above said, it was small wonder that Aennchen was almost beside
herself with delight at the magnificence of the yield which this season
had produced in the kitchen-garden. But the carrot-bed was what
surpassed everything else in the garden in its promise.
"Oh, my dear, beautiful carrots!" cried Anna over and over again, and
she clapped her hands, danced, and jumped about, and conducted herself
like a child who has been given a grand Christmas present.
And indeed it seemed as though the carrot-children underground were
taking part in Aennchen's gladness, for some extremely delicate
laughter, which just made itself heard, was undoubtedly proceeding from
the carrot-bed. Aennchen didn't, however, pay much heed to it, but ran
to meet one of the farm-men who was coming, holding up a letter, and
calling out to her, "For you, Fräulein Aennchen. Gottlieb brought it
from the town."
Aennchen saw immediately, from the hand writing, that it was from none
other than young Herr Amandus von Nebelstern, the son of a neighbouring
proprietor, now at the university. During the time when he was living
at home, and in the habit of running over to Dapsulheim every day,
Amandus had arrived at the conviction that in all his life he never
could love anybody except Aennchen. Similarly, Aennchen was perfectly
certain that she could never really care the least bit about anybody
else but this brown-locked Amandus. Thus both Aennchen and Amandus had
come to the conclusion and arrangement that they were to be married as
soon as ever they could--the sooner the better--and be the very
happiest married couple in the wide world.
Amandus had at one time been a bright, natural sort of lad enough, but
at the university he had got into the hands of God knows who, and had
been induced to fancy himself a marvellous poetical genius, as also to
betake himself to an extreme amount of absurd extravagance in
expression of ideas. He carried this so far that he soon soared far
away beyond everything which prosaic idiots term Sense and Reason
(maintaining at the same time, as they do, that both are perfectly
co-existent with the utmost liveliness of imagination).
It was from this young Amandus that the letter came which Aennchen
opened and read, as follows:--
"HEAVENLY MAIDEN,--
"Dost thou see, dost thou feel, dost thou not image and figure to
thyself, thy Amandus, how, circumambiated by the orange-flower-laden
breath of the dewy evening, he is lying on his back in the grass,
gazing heavenward with eyes filled with the holiest love and the
most longing adoration? The thyme and the lavender, the rose
and the gilliflower, as also the yellow-eyed narcissus and the
shamefaced violet--he weaveth into garlands. And the flowers are
love-thoughts--thoughts of thee, oh, Anna! But doth feeble prose beseem
inspired lips? Listen! oh, listen how I can only love, and speak of my
love, sonnetically!
"Love flames aloft in thousand eager sunspheres,
Joy wooeth joy within the heart so warmly:
Down from the darkling sky soft stars are shining.
Back-mirrored from the deep, still wells of love-tears.
"Delight, alas! doth die of joy too burning--
The sweetest fruit hath aye the bitt'rest kernel--
While longing beckons from the violet distance,
In pain of love my heart to dust is turning.
"In fiery billows rage the ocean surges,
Yet the bold swimmer dares the plunge full arduous,
And soon amid the waves his strong course urges.
"And on the shore, now near, the jacinth shoots:
The faithful heart holds firm: 'twill bleed to death;
But heart's blood is the sweetest of all roots.[1]
"Oh, Anna! when thou readest this sonnet of all sonnets, may all the
heavenly rapture permeate thee in which all my being was dissolved when
I wrote it down, and then read it out, to kindred minds, conscious,
like myself, of life's highest. Think, oh, think I sweet maiden of
"Thy faithful, enraptured,
"AMANDUS VON NEBELSTERN.
"P.S.--Don't forget, oh, sublime virgin! when answering this, to send a
pound or two of that Virginia tobacco which you grow yourself. It burns
splendidly, and has a far better flavour than the Porto Rico which the
Bürschen smoke when they go to the Kneipe."
[Footnote 1: The translator may point out that the original of this
nonsense is, itself, intentionally nonsense, and that he has done his
best to render it into English--not an easy task.--A. E.]
Fräulein Aennchen pressed the letter to her lips, and said, "Oh, how
dear, how beautiful! And the darling verses, rhyming so beautifully.
Oh, if I were only clever enough to understand it all; but I suppose
nobody can do that but a student. I wonder what that about the 'roots'
means? I suppose it must be the long red English carrots, or, who
knows, it may be the rapuntica. Dear fellow!"
That very day Fräulein Aennchen made it her business to pack up the
tobacco, and she took a dozen of her finest goose-quills to the
schoolmaster, to get him to make them into pens. Her intention was to
sit down at once and begin her answer to the precious letter. As she
was going out of the kitchen-garden, she was again followed by a very
faint, almost imperceptible, sound of delicate laughter; and if she had
paid a little attention to what was going on, she would have been sure
to hear a little delicate voice saying, "Pull me, pull me! I am
ripe--ripe--ripe!" However, as we have said, she paid no attention, and
did not hear this.
CHAPTER II.
WHICH CONTAINS AN ACCOUNT OF THE FIRST WONDERFUL EVENT, AND OTHER
MATTERS DESERVING OF PERUSAL, WITHOUT WHICH THIS TALE COULD HAVE
HAD NO EXISTENCE.
Herr Dapsul Von Zabelthau generally came down from his astronomical
tower about noon, to partake of a frugal repast with his daughter,
which usually lasted a very short time, and during which there was
generally a great predominance of silence, for Dapsul did not like to
talk. And Aennchen did not trouble him by speaking much, and this all
the more for the reason that if her papa did actually begin to talk, he
would come out with all sorts of curious unintelligible nonsense, which
made a body's head giddy. This day, however, her head was so full, and
her mind so excited and taken up with the flourishing state of the
kitchen-garden, and the letter from her beloved Amandus, that she
talked of both subjects incessantly, mixed up, without leaving off.
At last Herr Dapsul von Zabelthau laid down his knife and fork,
stopped his ears with his hands, and cried out, "Oh, the dreary
higgledy-piggledy of chatter and gabble!"
Aennchen stopped, alarmed, and he went on to say, in the melancholy
sustained tones which were characteristic of him, "With regard to the
vegetables, my dear daughter, I have long been cognizant that the
manner in which the stars have worked together this season has been
eminently favourable to those growths, and the earthly man will be
amply supplied with cabbage, radishes, and lettuce, so that the earthly
matter may duly increase and withstand the fire of the world-spirit,
like a properly kneaded pot. The gnomic principle will resist the
attacks of the salamander, and I shall have the enjoyment of eating the
parsnips which you cook so well. With regard to young Amandus von
Nebelstern, I have not the slightest objection to your marrying him as
soon as he comes back from the university. Simply send Gottlieb up to
tell me when your marriage is going to take place, so that I may go
with you to the church."
Herr Dapsul kept silence for a few seconds, and then, without looking
at Aennchen, whose face was glowing with delight, he went on, smiling
and striking his glass with his fork (two things which he seldom did at
all, though he always did them together) to say, "Your Amandus has got
to be, and cannot help being, where and what he is. He is, in fact, a
gerund; and I shall merely tell you, my dear Aennchen, that I drew up
his horoscope a long while ago. His constellation is favourable enough
on the whole, for the matter of that. He has Jupiter in the ascending
node, Venus regarding in the sextile. The trouble is, that the path of
Sirius cuts across, and, just at the point of intersection, there
is a great danger from which Amandus delivers his betrothed. The
danger--what it is--is indiscoverable, because some strange being,
which appears to set at defiance all astrological science, seems to be
concerned in it. At the same time, it is evident and certain that it is
only the strange psychical condition which mankind terms craziness, or
mental derangement, which will enable Amandus to accomplish this
deliverance. Oh, my daughter!" (here Herr Dapsul fell again into his
usual pathetic tone), "may no mysterious power, which keeps itself
hidden from my seer-eyes, come suddenly across your path, so that young
Amandus von Nebelstern may not have to rescue you from any other danger
but that of being an old maid." He sighed several times consecutively,
and then continued, "But the path of Sirius breaks off abruptly after
this danger, and Venus and Jupiter, divided before, come together
again, reconciled."
Herr Dapsul von Zabelthau had not spoken so much for years as on this
occasion. He arose exhausted, and went back up into his tower.
Aennchen had her answer to Herr von Nebelstern ready in good time next
morning. It was as follows:--
"MY OWN DEAREST AMANDUS--
"You cannot believe what joy your letter has given me. I have told papa
about it, and he has promised to go to church with us when we're
married. Be sure to come back from the university as soon as ever you
can. Oh! if I only could _quite_ understand your darling verses, which
rhyme so beautifully. When I read them to myself aloud they sound
wonderful, and _then_ I think I _do_ understand them quite well. But
soon everything grows confused, and seems to get away from me, and I
feel as if I had been reading a lot of mere words that somehow don't
belong to each other at all. The schoolmaster says this must be so, and
that it's the new fashionable way of speaking. But, you see, I'm--oh,
well!--I'm only a stupid, foolish creature. Please to write and tell me
if I couldn't be a student for a little time, without neglecting my
housework. I suppose that couldn't be, though, could it? Well, well:
when once we're husband and wife, perhaps I may pick up a little of
your learning, and learn a little of this new, fashionable way of
speaking.
"I send you the Virginian tobacco, my dearest Amandus. I've packed my
bonnet-box full of it, as much as ever I could get into it; and, in the
meantime, I've put my new straw hat on to Charles the Great's head--you
know he stands in the spare bedroom, although he has no feet, being
only a bust, as you remember.
"Please don't laugh, Amandus dear; but I have made some poetry myself,
and it rhymes quite nicely, some of it. Write and tell me how a person,
without learning, can know so well what rhymes to what? Just listen,
now--
"I love you, dearest, as my life.
And long at once to be your wife.
The bright blue sky is full of light,
When evening comes the stars shine bright.
So you must love me always truly,
And never cause me pain unduly,
I pack up the 'baccy you asked me to send,
And I hope it will yield you enjoyment no end.
"There! you must take the will for the deed, and when I learn the
fashionable way of speaking, I'll do some better poetry. The yellow
lettuces are promising splendidly this year--never was such a crop; so
are the French beans; but my little dachshund, Feldmann, gave the big
gander a terrible bite in the leg yesterday. However, we can't have
everything perfect in this world. A hundred kisses in imagination, my
dearest Amandus, from
"Your most faithful fiancée,
"ANNA VON ZABELTHAU.
"P.S.--I've been writing in an awful hurry, and that's the reason the
letters are rather crooked here and there.
"P.S.--But you mustn't mind about that. Though I may write a little
crookedly, my heart is all straight, and I am
"Always your faithful
"ANNA.
"P.S.--Oh, good gracious! I had almost forgot--thoughtless thing that I
am. Papa sends you his kind regards, and says you have got to be, and
cannot help being, where and what you are; and that you are to rescue
me from a terrible danger some day. Now, I'm very glad of this, and
remain, once more,
"Your most true and loving
"ANNA VON ZABELTHAU."
It was a good weight off Fräulein Aennchen's mind when she had written
this letter; it had cost her a considerable effort. So she felt
light-hearted and happy when she had put it in its envelope, sealed
it up without burning the paper or her own fingers, and given it,
together with the bonnet-boxful of tobacco, to Gottlieb to take to the
post-office in the town. When she had seen properly to the poultry in
the yard, she ran as fast as she could to the place she loved best--the
kitchen-garden. When she got to the carrot-bed she thought it was about
time to be thinking of the sweet-toothed people in the town, and be
palling the earliest of the carrots. The servant-girl was called in to
help in this process. Fräulein Aennchen walked, gravely and seriously,
into the middle of the bed, and grasped a stately carrot-plant. But on
her pulling at it a strange sound made itself heard. Do not, reader,
think of the witches' mandrake-root, and the horrible whining and
howling which pierces the heart of man when it is drawn from the earth.
No; the tone which was heard on this occasion was like very delicate,
joyous laughter. But Fräulein Aennchen let the carrot-plant go, and
cried out, rather frightened, "Eh! Who's that laughing at me?" But
there being nothing more to be heard she took hold of the carrot-plant
again--which seemed to be finer and better grown than any of the
rest--and, notwithstanding the laughing, which began again, pulled up
the very finest and most splendid carrot ever beheld by mortal eye.
When she looked at it more closely she gave a cry of joyful surprise,
so that the maid-servant came running up; and she also exclaimed aloud
at the beautiful miracle which disclosed itself to her eyes. For there
was a beautiful ring firmly attached to the carrot, with a shining
topaz mounted in it.
"Oh," cried the maid, "that's for you! It's your wedding-ring. Put it
on directly."
"Stupid nonsense!" said Fräulein Aennchen. "I must get my
wedding-ring from Herr Amandus von Nebelstern, not from a carrot."
However, the longer she looked at the ring the better she was pleased
with it; and, indeed, it was of such wonderfully fine workmanship that
it seemed to surpass anything ever produced by human skill. On the ring
part of it there were hundreds and hundreds of tiny little figures
twined together in the most manifold groupings, hardly to be made out
with the naked eye at first, so microscopically minute were they. But
when one looked at them closely for a little while they appeared to
grow bigger and more distinct, and to come to life, and dance in pretty
combinations. And the fire of the gem was of such a remarkable water
that the like of it could not have been found in the celebrated Dresden
collection.
"Who knows," said the maid, "how long this beautiful ring may have been
underground? And it must have got shoved up somehow, and then the
carrot has grown right through it."
Fräulein Aennchen took the ring off the carrot, and it was strange how
the latter suddenly slipped through her fingers and disappeared in the
ground. But neither she nor the maid paid much heed to this
circumstance, being lost in admiration of the beautiful ring, which the
young lady immediately put on the little finger of the right hand
without more ado. As she did so, she felt a stinging pain all up her
finger, from the root of it to the point; but this pain went away again
as quickly as it had come.
Of course she told her father, at mid-day, all about this strange
adventure at the carrot-bed, and showed him the beautiful ring which
had been sticking upon the carrot. She was going to take it off that he
might examine it the better, but felt the same stinging kind of pain as
when she put it on. And this pain lasted all the time she was trying to
get it off, so that she had to give up trying. Herr Dapsul scanned the
ring upon her finger with the most careful attention. He made her
stretch her finger out, and describe with it all sorts of circles in
all directions. After which he fell into a profound meditation, and
went up into his tower without uttering a syllable. Aennchen heard him
giving vent to a very considerable amount of groaning and sighing as he
went.
Next morning, when she was chasing the big cock about the yard (he was
bent on all manner of mischief, and was skirmishing particularly with
the pigeons), Herr Dapsul began lamenting so fearfully down from the
tower through the speaking trumpet that she cried up to him through her
closed hand, "Oh papa dear, what are you making such a terrible howling
for? The fowls are all going out of their wits."
Heir Dapsul hailed down to her through the speaking trumpet, saying,
"Anna, my daughter Anna, come up here to me immediately."
Fräulein Aennchen was much astonished at this command, for her papa had
never in all his life asked her to go into the tower, but rather had
kept the door of it carefully shut. So that she was conscious of a
certain sense of anxiety as she climbed the narrow winding stair, and
opened the heavy door which led into its one room. Herr Dapsul von
Zabelthau was seated upon a large armchair of singular form, surrounded
by curious instruments and dusty books. Before him was a kind of stand,
upon which there was a paper stretched in a frame, with a number of
lines drawn upon it. He had on a tall pointed cap, a wide mantle of
grey calimanco, and on his chin a long white beard, so that he had
quite the appearance of a magician. On account of his false beard,
Aennchen didn't know him a bit just at first, and looked curiously
about to see if her father were hidden away in some corner; but when
she saw that the man with the beard on was really papa, she laughed
most heartily, and asked if it was Yule-time, and he was going to act
Father Christmas.
Paying no heed to this enquiry, Herr Dapsul von Zabelthau took a small
tool of iron in his hand, touched Aennchen's forehead with it, and then
stroked it along her right arm several times, from the armpit to the
tip of the little finger. While this was going on she had to sit in the
armchair, which he had quitted, and to lay the finger which had the
ring upon it on the paper which was in the frame, in such a position
that the topaz touched the central point where all the lines came
together. Yellow rays immediately shot out from the topaz all round,
colouring the paper all over with deep yellow light. Then the lines
went flickering and crackling up and down, and the little figures which
were on the ring seemed to be jumping merrily about all over the paper.
Herr Dapsul, without taking his eyes from the paper, had taken hold of
a thin plate of some metal, which he held up high over his head with
both arms, and was proceeding to press it down upon the paper; but ere
he could do so he slipped his foot on the smooth stone floor, and fell,
anything but softly, upon the sitting portion of his body; whilst the
metal plate, which he had dropped in an instinctive attempt to break
his fall, and save damage to his _Os Coccygis_, went clattering down
upon the stones. Fräulein Aennchen awoke, with a gentle "Ah!" from a
strange dreamy condition in which she had been. Herr Dapsul with some
difficulty raised himself, put the grey sugar-loaf cap, which had
fallen off, on again, arranged the false beard, and sate himself down
opposite to Aennchen upon a pile of folio volumes.
"My daughter," he said, "my daughter Anna; what were your sensations?
Describe your thoughts, your feelings? What were the forms seen by the
eye of the spirit within your inner being?"
"Ah!" answered Anna, "I was so happy; I never was so happy in all my
life. And I thought of Amandus von Nebelstern. And I saw him quite
plainly before my eyes, but he was much better looking than he used to
be, and he was smoking a pipe of the Virginian tobacco that I sent him,
and seemed to be enjoying it tremendously. Then all at once I felt a
great appetite for young carrots with sausages; and lo and behold!
there the dishes were before me, and I was just going to help myself to
some when I woke up from the dream in a moment, with a sort of painful
start."
"Amandus von Nebelstern, Virginia canaster, carrots, sausages," quoth
Herr Dapsul von Zabelthau to his daughter very reflectively. And he
signed to her to stay where she was, for she was preparing to go away.
"Happy is it for you, innocent child," he began, in a tone much more
lamentable than even his usual one, "that you are as yet not initiated
into the profounder mysteries of the universe, and are unaware of the
threatening perils which surround you. You know nothing of the
supernatural science of the sacred cabbala. True, you will never
partake the celestial joy of those wise ones who, having attained the
highest step, need never eat or drink except for their pleasure, and
are exempt from human necessities. But then, you have not to endure and
suffer the pain of attainment to that step, like your unhappy father,
who is still far more liable to attacks of mere human giddiness, to
whom that which he laboriously discovers only causes terror and awe,
and who is still, from purely earthly necessities, obliged to eat and
drink and, in fact, submit to human requirements. Learn, my charming
child, blessed as you are with absence of knowledge, that the depths of
the earth, and the air, water, and fire, are filled with spiritual
beings of higher and yet of more restricted nature than mankind. It
seems unnecessary, my little unwise one, to explain to you the peculiar
nature and characteristics of the gnomes, the salamanders, sylphides,
and undines; you would not be able to understand them. To give you some
slight idea of the danger which you may be undergoing, it is sufficient
that I should tell you that these spirits are always striving eagerly
to enter into unions with human beings; and as they are well aware that
human beings are strongly adverse to those unions, they employ all
manner of subtle and crafty artifices to delude such of the latter as
they have fixed their affections upon. Often it is a twig, a flower, a
glass of water, a fire-steel, or something else, in appearance of no
importance, which they employ as a means of compassing their intent. It
is true that unions of this sort often turn out exceedingly happily, as
in the case of two priests, mentioned by Prince della Mirandola, who
spent forty years of the happiest possible wedlock with a spirit of
this description. It is true, moreover, that the most renowned sages
have been the offspring of such unions between human beings and
elementary spirits. Thus, the great Zoroaster was a son of the
salamander Oromasis; the great Apollonius, the sage Merlin, the valiant
Count of Cleve, and the great cabbalist, Ben-Syra, were the glorious
fruits of marriages of this description, and according to Paracelsus
the beautiful Melusina was no other than a sylphide. But yet,
notwithstanding, the peril of such a union is much too great, for not
only do the elementary spirits require of those on whom they confer
their favours that the clearest light of the profoundest wisdom shall
have arisen and shall shine upon them, but besides this they are
extraordinarily touchy and sensitive, and revenge offences with extreme
severity. Thus, it once happened that a sylphide, who was in union with
a philosopher, on an occasion when he was talking with friends about a
pretty woman--and perhaps rather too warmly--suddenly allowed her white
beautifully-formed limb to become visible in the air, as if to convince
the friends of her beauty, and then killed the poor philosopher
on the spot. But ah! why should I refer to others? Why don't I
speak of myself? I am aware that for the last twelve years I have
been beloved by a sylphide, but she is timorous and coy, and I am
tortured by the thought of the danger of fettering her to me more
closely by cabbalistic processes, inasmuch as I am still much too
dependent on earthly necessities, and consequently lack the necessary
degree of wisdom. Every morning I make up my mind to fast, and I
succeed in letting breakfast pass without touching any; but when
mid-day comes, oh! Anna, my daughter Anna, you know well that I eat
tremendously."
These latter words Herr Dapsul uttered almost in a howl, while bitter
tears rolled down his lean chop-fallen cheeks. He then went on more
calmly--
"But I take the greatest of pains to behave towards the elementary
spirit who is thus favourably disposed towards me with the utmost
refinement of manners, the most exquisite _galanterie_. I never venture
to smoke a pipe of tobacco without employing the proper preliminary
cabbalistic precautions, for I cannot tell whether or not my tender
air-spirit may like the brand of the tobacco, and so be annoyed at the
defilement of her element. And I take the same precautions when I cut a
hazel twig, pluck a flower, eat a fruit, or strike fire, all my efforts
being directed to avoid giving offence to any elementary spirit. And
yet--there, you see that nutshell, which I slid upon, and, falling over
backwards, completely nullified the whole important experiment, which
would have revealed to me the whole mystery of the ring? I do not
remember that I have ever eaten a nut in this chamber, completely
devoted as it is to science (you know now why I have my breakfast on
the stairs), and it is all the clearer that some little gnome must have
been hidden away in that shell, very likely having come here to
prosecute his studies, and watch some of my experiments. For the
elementary spirits are fond of human science, particularly such kinds
of it as the uninitiated vulgar consider to be, if not foolish and
superstitious, at all events beyond the powers of the human mind to
comprehend, and for that reason style 'dangerous.' Thus, when I
accidentally trod upon this little student's head, I suppose he got in
a rage, and threw me down. But it is probable that he had a deeper
reason for preventing me from finding out the secret of the ring. Anna,
my dear Anna, listen to this. I had ascertained that there is a gnome
bestowing his favour upon you, and to judge by the ring he must be a
gnome of rank and distinction, as well as of superior cultivation. But,
my dear Anna, my most beloved little stupid girl, how do you suppose
you are going to enter into any kind of union with an elementary spirit
without running the most terrible risk? If you had read Cassiodorus
Remus you might, of course, reply that, according to his veracious
chronicle, the celebrated Magdalena de la Croix, abbess of a convent at
Cordova, in Spain, lived for thirty years in the happiest wedlock
imaginable with a little gnome, whilst a similar result followed in
the case of a sylph and the young Gertrude, a nun in Kloster Nazareth,
near Cologne. But, then, think of the learned pursuits of those
ecclesiastical ladies and of your own; what a mighty difference.
Instead of reading in learned books you are often employing your time
in feeding hens, geese, ducks, and other creatures, which simply molest
and annoy all cabbalists; instead of watching the course of the stars,
the heavens, you dig in the earth; instead of deciphering the traces of
the future in skilfully-constructed horoscopes you are churning milk
into butter, and putting sauerkraut up to pickle for mean everyday
winter use; although, really, I must say that for my own part I should
be very sorry to be without such articles of food. Say, is all this
likely, in the long run, to content a refined philosophic elementary
spirit? And then, oh Anna! it must be through you that the Dapsulheim
line must continue, which earthly demand upon your being you cannot
refuse to obey in any possible case. Yet, in connection with this ring,
you in your instinctive way felt a strange irreflective sense of
physical enjoyment. By means of the operation in which I was engaged, I
desired and intended to break the power of the ring, and free you
entirely from the gnome which is pursuing you. That operation failed,
in consequence of the trick played me by the little student in the
nut-shell. And yet, notwithstanding, I feel inspired by a courage such
as I never felt before to do battle with this elementary spirit. You
are my child, whom I begot, not indeed with a sylphide, salamandress,
or other elementary spirit, but of that poor country lady of a fine old
family, to whom the God-forgotten neighbours gave the nickname of the
'goat-girl' on account of her idyllic nature. For she used to go out
with a flock of pretty little white goats, and pasture them on the
green hillocks, I meanwhile blowing a reed-pipe on my tower, a
love-stricken young fool, by way of accompaniment. Yes, you are my own
child, my flesh and blood, and I mean to rescue you. Here, this mystic
file shall befree you from the pernicious ring."
With this, Herr Dapsul von Zabelthau took up a small file and began
filing away with it at the ring. But scarcely had he passed it once or
twice backwards and forwards when Fräulein Aennchen cried aloud in
pain, "Papa, papa, you're filing my finger off!" And actually there was
dark thick blood coming oozing from under the ring. Seeing this, Herr
Dapsul let the file fall upon the floor, sank half fainting into the
armchair, and cried, in utter despair, "Oh--oh--oh--oh! It is all over
with me! Perhaps the infuriated gnome may come this very hour and bite
my head off unless the sylphide saves me. Oh, Anna, Anna,
go--fly!"
As her father's extraordinary talk had long made her wish herself far
enough away, she ran downstairs like the wind.
CHAPTER III.
SOME ACCOUNT IS GIVEN OF THE ARRIVAL OF A REMARKABLE PERSONAGE IN
DAPSULHEIM, AND OF WHAT FOLLOWED FURTHER.
Herr Dapsul Von Zabelthau had just embraced his daughter with many
tears, and was moving off to ascend his tower, where he dreaded every
moment the alarming visit of the incensed gnome, when the sound of a
horn, loud and clear, made itself heard, and into the courtyard came
bounding and curvetting a little cavalier of sufficiently strange and
amusing appearance. His yellow horse was not at all large, and was of
delicate build, so that the little rider, in spite of his large
shapeless head, did not look so dwarfish as might otherwise have been
the case, as he sate a considerable height above the horse's head. But
this was attributable to the length of his body, for what of him hung
over the saddle in the nature of legs and feet was hardly worth
mentioning. For the rest, the little fellow had on a very rich habit of
gold-yellow atlas, a fine high cap with a splendid grass-green plume,
and riding-boots of beautifully polished mahogany. With a resounding
"P-r-r-r-r-r-r!" he reined up before Herr von Zabelthau, and seemed to
be going to dismount. But he suddenly slipped under the horse's belly
as quick as lightning, and having got to the other side of him, threw
himself three times in succession some twelve ells up in the air,
turning six somersaults in every ell, and then alighted on his head in
the saddle. Standing on his head there, he galloped backwards,
forwards, and sideways in all sorts of extraordinary curves and ups and
downs, his feet meanwhile playing trochees, dactyls, pyrrhics, &c., in
the air. When this accomplished gymnast and trick-act rider at length
stood still, and politely saluted, there were to be seen on the ground
of the courtyard the words, "My most courteous greeting to you and your
lady daughter, most highly respected Herr Dapsul von Zabelthau." These
words he had ridden into the ground in handsome Roman uncial letters.
Thereupon, he sprang from his horse, turned three Catherine wheels, and
said that he was charged by his gracious master, the Herr Baron
Porphyrio von Ockerodastes, called "Cordovanspitz," to present his
compliments to Herr Dapsul von Zabelthau, and to say, that if the
latter had no objection, the Herr Baron proposed to pay him a friendly
visit of a day or two, as he was expecting presently to be his nearest
neighbour.
Herr Dapsul looked more dead than alive, so pale and motionless did he
stand, leaning un his daughter. Scarcely had a half involuntary,
"It--will--give--me--much--pleasure," escaped his trembling lips, when
the little horseman departed with lightning speed, and similar
ceremonies to those with which he had arrived.
"Ah, my daughter!" cried Herr Dapsul, weeping and lamenting, "alas! it
is but too certain that this is the gnome come to carry you off, and
twist my unfortunate neck. But we will pluck up the very last scrap of
courage which we can scrape together. Perhaps it may be still possible
to pacify this irritated elementary spirit. We must be as careful in
our conduct towards him as ever we can. I will at once read to you, my
dear child, a chapter or two of Lactantius or Thomas Aquinas concerning
the mode of dealing with elementary spirits, so that you mayn't make
some tremendous mistake or other."
But before he could go and get hold of Lactantius or Thomas Aquinas, a
band was heard in the immediate proximity, sounding very much like the
kind of performance which children who are musical enough get up about
Christmas-time. And a fine long procession was coming up the street.
At the head of it rode some sixty or seventy little cavaliers on
little yellow horses, all dressed like the one who had arrived as
avant-courier at first, in yellow habits, pointed caps, and boots of
polished mahogany. They were followed by a couch of purest crystal,
drawn by eight yellow horses, and behind this came well on to forty
other less magnificent coaches, some with six horses, some with only
four. And there were swarms of pages, running footmen, and other
attendants, moving up and down amongst and around those coaches in
brilliant costumes, so that the whole thing formed a sight as charming
as uncommon. Herr Dapsul stood sunk in gloomy amazement. Aennchen, who
had never dreamt that the world could contain such lovely delightful
creatures as these little horses and people, was quite out of her
senses with delight, and forgot everything, even to shut her mouth,
which she had opened to emit a cry of joy.
The coach and eight drew up before Herr Dapsul. Riders jumped from
their horses, pages and attendants came hurrying forward, and the
personage who was now lifted down the steps of the coach on their arms
was none other than the Herr Baron Porphyrio von Ockerodastes,
otherwise known as Cordovanspitz. Inasmuch as regarded his figure, the
Herr Baron was far from comparable to the Apollo of Belvedere, or even
the Dying Gladiator. For, besides the circumstances that he was
scarcely three feet high, one-third of his small body consisted of his
evidently too large and broad head, which was, moreover, adorned by a
tremendously long Roman nose and a pair of great round projecting
eyes. And as his body was disproportionately long for his height,
there was nothing left for his legs and feet to occupy but some four
inches or so. This small space was made the most of, however,
for the little Baron's feet were the neatest and prettiest little
things ever beheld. No doubt they seemed to be scarcely strong enough
to support the large, important head. For the Baron's gait was somewhat
tottery and uncertain, and he even toppled over altogether pretty
frequently, but got up upon his feet immediately, after the manner of a
jack-in-the-box. So that this toppling over had a considerable
resemblance to some rather eccentric dancing step more than to anything
else one could compare it to. He had on a close-fitting suit of some
shining gold fabric, and a headdress, which was almost like a crown,
with an enormous plume of green feathers in it.
As soon as the Baron had alighted on the ground, he hastened up to Herr
Dapsul von Zabelthau, took hold of both his hands, swung himself up to
his neck, and cried out, in a voice wonderfully more powerful than his
shortness of stature would have led one to expect, "Oh, my Dapsul von
Zabelthau, my most beloved father!" He then lowered himself down from
Herr Dapsul's neck with the same deftness of skill with which he
had climbed up to it, sprang, or rather slung himself, to Fräulein
Aennchen, took that hand of hers which had the ring on it, covered
it with loud resounding kisses, and cried out in the same almost
thundering voice as before, "Oh, my loveliest Fräulein Anna von
Zabelthau, my most beloved bride-elect!"
He then clapped his hands, and immediately that noisy clattering
child-like band struck up, and over a hundred little fellows, who
had got off their horses and out of the carriages, danced as the
avant-courier had done, sometimes on their heads, sometimes on their
feet, in the prettiest possible trochees, spondees, iambics, pyrrhics,
anapaests, tribrachs, bacchi, antibacchi, choriambs, and dactyls, so
that it was a joy to behold them. But as this was going on, Fräulein
Aennchen recovered from the terrible fright which the little Baron's
speech to her had put her in, and entered into several important and
necessary economic questions and considerations. "How is it possible,"
she asked herself, "that these little beings can find room in this
place of ours? Would it hold even their servants if they were to be put
to sleep in the big barn? Then what could I do with the swell folk who
came in the coaches, and of course expect to be put into fine bedrooms,
with soft beds, as they're accustomed to be? And even if the two plough
horses were to go out of the stable, and I were to be so hard hearted
as to turn the old lame chestnut out into the grass field, would there
be anything like room enough for all those little beasts of horses that
this nasty ugly Baron has brought? And just the same with the one and
forty coaches. But the worst of all comes after that. Oh, my gracious!
is the whole year's provender anything like enough to keep all these
little creatures going for even so much as a couple of days?" This last
was the climax of all. She saw in her mind's eye everything eaten
up--all the new vegetables, the sheep, the poultry, the salt meat--nay,
the very beetroot brandy gone. And this brought the salt tears to her
eyes. She thought she caught the Baron making a sort of wicked impudent
face at her, and that gave her courage to say to him (while his people
were keeping up their dancing with might and main), in the plainest
language possible, that however flattering his visit might be to her
father, it was impossible to think of such a thing as its lasting more
than a couple of hours or so, as there was neither room nor anything
else for the proper reception and entertainment of such a grand
gentleman and such a numerous retinue. But little Cordovanspitz
immediately looked as marvellously sweet and tender as any marsipan
tart, pressing with closed eyes Fräulein Aennchen's hand (which was
rather rough, and not particularly white) to his lips, as he assured
her that the last thing he should think of was causing the dear papa
and his lovely daughter the slightest inconvenience. He said he had
brought everything in the kitchen and cellar department with him, and
as for the lodging, he needed nothing but a little bit of ground with
the open air above it, where his people could put up his ordinary
travelling palace, which would accommodate him, his whole retinue, and
the animals pertaining to them.
Fräulein Aennchen was so delighted with these words of the Baron
Porphyrio von Ockerodastes that, to show that she wasn't grudging a
little bit of hospitality, she was going to offer him the little
fritter cakes she had made for the last consecration day, and a small
glass of the beetroot brandy, unless he would have preferred double
bitters, which the maid had brought from the town and recommended as
strengthening to the stomach. But at this moment Cordovanspitz
announced that he had chosen the kitchen garden as the site of his
palace, and Aennchen's happiness was gone. But whilst the Baron's
retainers, in celebration of their lord's arrival at Dapsulheim,
continued their Olympian games, sometimes butting with their big heads
at each other's stomachs, knocking each other over backwards, sometimes
springing up in the air again, playing at skittles, being themselves in
turn skittles, balls, and players, and so forth, Baron Porphyrio von
Ockerodastes got into a very deep and interesting conversation with
Herr Dapsul von Zabelthau, which seemed to go on increasing in
importance till they went away together hand in hand, and up into the
astronomical tower.
Full of alarm and anxiety, Fräulein Aennchen now made haste to her
kitchen garden, with the view of trying to save whatever it might still
be possible to save. The maid-servant was there already, standing
staring before her with open mouth, motionless as a person turned like
Lot's wife into a pillar of salt. Aennchen at once fell into the same
condition beside her. At last they both cried out, making the welkin
ring, "Oh, Herr Gemini! What a terrible sort of thing!" For the whole
beautiful vegetable garden was turned into a wilderness. Not the trace
of a plant in it, it looked like a devastated country.
"No," cried the maid, "there's no other way of accounting for it, these
cursed little creatures have done it. Coming here in their coaches,
forsooth! coaches, quotha! as if they were people of quality! Ha! ha! A
lot of kobolds, that's what _they_ are, trust _me_ for that, Miss. And
if I had a drop of holy water here I'd soon show you what all those
fine things of theirs would turn to. But if they come here, the little
brutes, I'll bash the heads of them with this spade here." And she
flourished this threatening spade over her head, whilst Anna wept
aloud.
But at this point, four members of Cordovanspitz's suite came up with
such very pleasant ingratiating speeches and such courteous reverences,
being such wonderful creatures to behold, at the same time that the
maid, instead of attacking them with the spade, let it slowly sink, and
Fräulein Aennchen ceased weeping.
They announced themselves as being the four friends who were the most
immediately attached to their lord's person, saying that they belonged
to four different nationalities (as their dress indicated,
symbolically, at all events), and that their names were, respectively,
Pan Kapustowicz, from Poland; Herr von Schwartzrettig, from Pomerania;
Signor di Broccoli, from Italy; and Monsieur de Rocambolle, from
France. They said, moreover, that the builders would come directly, and
afford the beautiful lady the gratification of seeing them erect a
lovely palace, all of silk, in the shortest possible space of time.
"What good will the silken palace be to me?" cried Fräulein Aennchen,
weeping aloud in her bitter sorrow. "And what do I care about your
Baron Cordovanspitz, now that you have gone and destroyed my beautiful
vegetables, wretched creatures that you are. All my happy days are
over."
But the polite interlocutors comforted her, and assured her that they
had not by any means had the blame of desolating the kitchen-garden,
and that, moreover, it would very soon be growing green and flourishing
in such luxuriance as she had never seen, or anybody else in the world
for that matter.
The little building-people arrived, and then there began such a
confused-looking, higgledy-piggledy, and helter-skeltering on the plot
of ground that Fräulein Anna and the maid ran away quite frightened,
and took shelter behind some thickets, whence they could see what would
be the end of it all.
But though they couldn't explain to themselves how things perfectly
canny _could_ come about as they did, there certainly arose and formed
itself before their eyes, and in a few minutes' time, a lofty and
magnificent marquee, made of a golden-yellow material and ornamented
with many-coloured garlands and plumes, occupying the whole extent of
the vegetable garden, so that the cords of it went right away over the
village and into the wood beyond, where they were made fast to sturdy
trees.
As soon as this marquee was ready, Baron Porphyrio came down with Herr
Dapsul from the astronomical tower, after profuse embraces resumed his
seat in the coach and eight, and in the same order in which they had
made their entry into Dapsulheim, he and his following went into the
silken palace, which, when the last of the procession was within it,
instantly closed itself up.
Fräulein Aennchen had never seen her papa as he was then. The very
faintest trace of the melancholy which had hitherto always so
distressed him had completely disappeared from his countenance. One
would really almost have said he smiled. There was a sublimity about
his facial expression such as sometimes indicates that some great and
unexpected happiness has come upon a person. He led his daughter by the
hand in silence into the house, embraced her three times consecutively,
and then broke out--
"Fortunate Anna! Thrice happy girl! Fortunate father! Oh, daughter, all
sorrow and melancholy, all solicitude and misgiving are over for ever!
Yours is a fate such as falls to the lot of few mortals. This Baron
Porphyrio von Ockerodastes, otherwise known as Cordovanspitz, is by no
means a hostile gnome, although he is descended from one of those
elementary spirits who, however, was so fortunate as to purify his
nature by the teaching of Oromasis the Salamander. The love of this
being was bestowed upon a daughter of the human race, with whom he
formed a union, and became founder of the most illustrious family whose
name ever adorned a parchment. I have an impression that I told you
before, beloved daughter Anna, that the pupil of the great Salamander
Oromasis, the noble gnome Tsilmenech (a Chaldean name, which
interpreted into our language has a somewhat similar significance to
our word 'Thickhead'), bestowed his affection on the celebrated
Magdalena de la Croix, abbess of a convent at Cordova in Spain, and
lived in happy wedlock with her for nearly thirty years. And a
descendant of the sublime family of higher intelligences which sprung
from this union is our dear Baron Porphyrio von Ockerodastes, who has
adopted the sobriquet of Cordovanspitz to indicate his ancestral
connection with Cordova in Spain, and to distinguish himself by it from
a more haughty but less worthy collateral line of the family, which
bears the title of 'Saffian.' That a 'spitz' has been added to the
'Cordovan' doubtless possesses its own elementary astrological causes;
I have not as yet gone into that subject. Following the example of his
illustrious ancestor the gnome Tsilmenech, this splendid Ockerodastes
of ours fell in love with you when you were only twelve years of age
(Tsilmenech had done precisely the same thing in the case of Magdalena
de la Croix). He was fortunate enough at that time to get a small gold
ring from you, and now you wear his, so that your betrothal is
indissoluble."
"What?" cried Fräulein Aennchen, in fear and amazement. "What? I
betrothed to _him_--I to marry that horrible little kobold? Haven't I
been engaged for ever so long to Herr Amandus von Nebelstern? No, never
will I have that hideous monster of a wizard for a husband. I don't
care whether he comes from Cordova or from Saffian."
"There," said Herr Dapsul von Zabelthau more gravely, "there I
perceive, to my sorrow and distress, how impossible it is for celestial
wisdom to penetrate into your hardened, obdurate, earthly sense. You
stigmatize this noble, elementary, Porphyrio von Ockerodastes as
'horrible' and 'ugly,' probably, I presume, because he is only three
feet high, and, with the exception of his head, has very little worth
speaking of on his body in the shape of arms, legs, and other
appurtenances; and a foolish, earthly goose, such as you probably think
of as to be admired, can't have legs long enough, on account of coat
tails. Oh, my daughter, in what a terrible misapprehension you are
involved! All beauty lies in wisdom, in the thought; and the physical
symbol of thought is the head. The more head, the more beauty and
wisdom. And if mankind could but cast away all the other members of the
body as pernicious articles of luxury tending to evil, they would
reach the condition of a perfect ideal of the highest type. Whence
come all trouble and difficulty, vexation and annoyance, strife and
contention--in short, all the depravities and miseries of humanity, but
from the accursed luxury and voluptuousness of the members? Oh, what
joy, what peace, what blessedness there would be on earth if the
human race could exist without arms or legs, or the nether parts of
the body--in short, if we were nothing but busts! Therefore it is a
happy idea of the sculptors when they represent great statesmen,
or celebrated men of science and learning as busts, symbolically
indicating the higher nature within them. Wherefore, my daughter Anna,
no more of such words as 'ugly and abominable' applied to the noblest
of spirits, the grand Porphyrio von Ockerodastes, whose bride elect you
most indubitably are. I must just tell you, at the same time, that by
his important aid your father will soon attain that highest step of
bliss towards which he has so long been striving. Porphyrio von
Ockerodastes is in possession of authentic information that I am
beloved by the sylphide Nehabilah (which in Syriac has very much the
signification of our expression 'Peaky nose'), and he has promised to
assist me to the utmost of his power to render myself worthy of a union
with this higher spiritual nature. I have no doubt whatever, my dear
child, that you will be well satisfied with your future stepmother. All
I hope is, that a favourable destiny may so order matters that our
marriages may both take place at one and the same fortunate hour."
Having thus spoken, Herr Dapsul von Zabelthau, casting a significant
glance at his daughter, very pathetically left the room.
It was a great weight on Aennchen's heart that she remembered having, a
great while ago, really in some unaccountable way lost a little gold
ring, such as a child might wear, from her finger. So that it really
seemed too certain that this abominable little wizard of a creature had
indeed got her immeshed in his net, so that she couldn't see how she
was ever to get out of it. And over this she fell into the utmost grief
and bewilderment. She felt that her oppressed heart must obtain relief;
and this took place through the medium of a goose-quill, which she
seized, and at once wrote off to Herr Amandus von Nebelstern as
follows:
"MY DEAREST AMANDUS--
"All is over with me completely. I am the most unfortunate creature in
the whole world, and I'm sobbing and crying for sheer misery so
terribly that the dear dumb animals themselves are sorry for me. And
_you'll_ be still sorrier than they are, because it's just as great a
misfortune for you as it is for me, and you can't help being quite as
much distressed about it as I am myself. You know that we love one
another as fondly as any two lovers possibly can, and that I am
betrothed to you, and that papa was going with us to the church. Very
well. All of a sudden a nasty little creature comes here in a coach and
eight, with a lot of people and servants, and says I have changed rings
with him, and that he and I are engaged. And--just fancy how awful!
papa says as well, that I must marry this little wretch, because he
belongs to a very grand family. I suppose be very likely does, judging
by his following and the splendid dresses they have on. But the
creature has such a horrible name that, for that alone if it were for
nothing else, I never would marry him. I can't even pronounce the
heathenish words of the name; but one of them is Cordovanspitz,
and it seems that is the family name. Write and tell me if these
Cordovanspitzes really _are_ so very great and aristocratic a
family--people in the town will be sure to know if they are. And the
things papa takes in his head at his time of life I really can't
understand; but he wants to marry again, and this nasty Cordovanspitz
is going to get him a wife that flies in the air. God protect us! Our
servant girl is looking over my shoulder, and says she hasn't much of
an opinion of ladies who can fly in the air and swim in the water, and
that she'll have to be looking out for another situation, and hopes,
for my sake, that my stepmother may break her neck the first time she
goes riding through the air to St. Walpurgis. Nice state of things,
isn't it? But all my hope is in _you_. For I know you are the person
who ought to be, and has got to be, just where and what you are, and
has to deliver me from a great danger. The danger has come, so be
quick, and rescue
"Your grieved to death, but most true and loving _fiancée_,
"ANNA VON ZABELTHAU.
"P.S.--Couldn't you call this yellow little Cordovanspitz out? I'm sure
you could settle his hash. He's feeble on his legs.
"What I implore you to do is to put on your things as fast as you can
and hasten to
"Your most unfortunate and miserable,
"But always most faithful _fiancée_.
"ANNA VON ZABELTHAU."
CHAPTER IV.
IN WHICH THE HOUSEHOLD STATE OF A GREAT KING IS DESCRIBED; AND
AFTERWARDS A BLOODY DUEL AND OTHER REMARKABLE OCCURRENCES ARE
TREATED OF.
Fräulein Aennchen was so miserable and distressed that she felt
paralyzed in all her members. She was sitting at the window with folded
arms gazing straight before her, heedless of the cackling, crowing, and
queaking of the fowls, which couldn't understand why on earth she
didn't come and drive them into their roosts as usual, seeing that
the twilight was coming on fast. Nay, she sat there with perfect
indifference and allowed the maid to carry out this duty, and to hit
the big cock (who opposed himself to the state of things and evinced
decided resistance to her authority) a good sharp whang with her whip.
For the love-pain which was rending her own heart was making her
indifferent to the troubles of the dear pupils of her happier
hours--those which she devoted to their up-bringing, although she had
never studied Chesterfield or Knigge, or consulted Madame de Genlis, or
any of those other authorities on the mental culture of the young, who
know to a hair's-breadth exactly how they ought to be moulded. In this
respect she really had laid herself open to censure on the score of
lack of due seriousness.
All that day Cordovanspitz had not shown himself, but had been shut up
in the tower with Herr Dapsul, no doubt assisting in the carrying on of
important operations. But now Fräulein Aennchen caught sight of the
little creature coming tottering across the courtyard in the glowing
light of the setting sun. And it struck her that he looked more hideous
in that yellow habit of his than he had ever done before. The
ridiculous manner in which he went wavering about, jumping here and
there, seeming to topple over every minute and then pick himself up
again (at which anybody else would have died of laughing), only caused
her the bitterer distress. Indeed, she at last held her hands in front
of her eyes, that she mightn't so much as see the little horrid
creature at all. Suddenly she felt something tugging at her dress, and
cried "Down, Feldmann!" thinking it was the Dachshund. But it was not
the dog; and what Fräulein Aennchen saw when she took her hands from
her eyes was the Herr Baron Porphyrio von Ockerodastes, who hoisted
himself into her lap with extraordinary deftness, and clasped both his
arms about her. She screamed aloud with fear and disgust, and started
up from her chair. But Cordovanspitz kept clinging on to her neck, and
instantly became so wonderfully heavy that he seemed to weigh a ton at
least, and he dragged the unfortunate Aennchen back again into her
chair. Having got her there, however, he slid down out of her lap, sank
on one knee as gracefully as possible, and as prettily as his weakness
in the direction of equilibrium permitted, and said, in a clear
voice--rather peculiar, but by no means unpleasing: "Adored Anna von
Zabelthau, most glorious of ladies, most choice of brides-elect; no
anger, I implore, no anger, no anger. I know you think my people laid
waste your beautiful vegetable garden to put up my palace. Oh, powers
of the universe, if you could but look into this little body of mine
which throbs with magnanimity and love; if you could but detect all the
cardinal virtues which are collected in my breast, under this yellow
Atlas habit. Oh, how guiltless am I of the shameful cruelty which you
attribute to me! How could a beneficent prince treat in such a way his
very own subjects. But hold--hold! What are words, phrases? You must
see with your own eyes, my betrothed, the splendours which attend you.
You must come with me at once. I will lead you to my palace, where a
joyful people await the arrival of her who is beloved by their lord."
It may be imagined how terrified Fräulein Aennchen was at this
proposition of Cordovanspitz's, and how hard she tried to avoid going
so much as a single step with the little monster. But he continued to
describe the extraordinary beauty and the marvellous richness of the
vegetable garden which was his palace, in such eloquent and persuasive
language, that at last she thought she would just have a peep into the
marquee, as that couldn't do her much harm. The little creature, in his
joy and delight, turned at least twelve Catherine wheels in succession,
and then took her hand with much courtesy, and led her through the
garden to the silken palace.
With a loud "Ah!" Fräulein Aennchen stood riveted to the ground with
delight when the curtains of the entrance drew apart, displaying a
vegetable garden stretching away further than the eye could reach, of
such marvellous beauty and luxuriance as was never seen in the
loveliest dreams. Here there was growing and flourishing every thing in
the nature of colewort, rape, lettuce, pease and beans, in such a
shimmer of light, and in such luxuriance that it is impossible to
describe it. A band of pipes, drums and cymbals sounded louder, and the
four gentlemen whose acquaintance she had previously made, viz. Herr
von Schwartzrettig, Monsieur de Rocambolle, Signor di Broccoli and Pan
Kapustowicz, approached with many ceremonious reverences.
"My chamberlains," said Porphyrio von Ockerodastes, smiling; and,
preceded by them, he conducted Fräulein Aennchen through between the
double ranks of the bodyguard of Red English Carrots to the centre of
the plain, where stood a splendid throne. And around this throne were
assembled the grandees of the realm; the Lettuce Princes with the Bean
Princesses, the Dukes of Cucumber with the Prince of Melon at their
head, the Cabbage Minister, the General Officer of Onions and Carrots,
the Colewort ladies, etc., etc., all in the gala dresses of their rank
and station. And amidst them moved up and down well on to a hundred of
the prettiest and most delightful Lavender and Fennel pages, diffusing
sweet perfume. When Ockerodastes had ascended the throne with Fräulein
Aennchen, Chief Court-Marshal Turnip waved his long wand of office, and
immediately the band stopped playing, and the multitude listened in
reverential silence as Ockerodastes raised his voice and said, in
solemn accents, "My faithful and beloved subjects, you see by my side
the noble Fräulein Anna von Zabelthau, whom I have chosen to be my
consort. Rich in beauty and virtues, she has long watched over you with
the eye of maternal affection, preparing soft and succulent beds for
you, caring for you and tending you with ceaseless ardour. She will
ever be a true and befitting mother of this realm. Wherefore I call
upon you to evince and give expression to the dutiful approval, and the
duly regulated rejoicing at the favour and benefit which I am about to
graciously confer upon you."
At a signal given by Chief Court-Marshal Turnip there arose the shout
of a thousand voices, the Bulb Artillery fired their pieces, and the
band of the Carrot Guard played the celebrated National Anthem--
"Salad and lettuce, and parsley so green."
It was a grand, a sublime moment, which drew tears from the eyes of the
grandees, particularly from those of the Colewort ladies. Fräulein
Aennchen, too, nearly lost all her self-control when she noticed that
little Ockerodastes had a crown on his head all sparkling with
diamonds, and a golden sceptre in his hand.
"Ah!" she cried clapping her hands. "Oh, Gemini! You seem to be
something much grander than we thought, my dear Herr von
Cordovanspitz."
"My adored Anna," he replied, "the stars compelled me to appear before
your father under an assumed name. You must be told, dearest girl, that
I am one of the mightiest of kings, and rule over a realm whose
boundaries are not discoverable, as it has been omitted to lay them
down in the maps. Oh, sweetest Anna, he who offers you his hand and
crown is Daucus Carota the First, King of the Vegetables. All the
vegetable princes are my vassals, save that the King of the Beans
reigns for one single day in every year, in conformity to an ancient
usage."
"Then I am to be a queen, am I?" cried Fräulein Aennchen, overjoyed.
"And all this great splendid vegetable garden is to be mine?"
King Daucus assured her that of course it was to be so, and added that
he and she would jointly rule over all the vegetables in the world. She
had never dreamt of anything of the kind, and thought little
Cordovanspitz wasn't anything like so nasty-looking as he used to be
now that he was transformed into King Daucus Carota the First, and that
the crown and sceptre were very becoming to him, and the kingly mantle
as well. When she reckoned into the bargain his delightful manners, and
the property this marriage would bring her, she felt certain that there
wasn't a country lady in all the world who could have made a better
match than she, who found herself betrothed to a king before she knew
where she was. So she was delighted beyond measure, and asked her royal
_fiancé_ whether she could not take up her abode in the palace then and
there, and be married next day. But King Daucus answered that eagerly
as he longed for the time when he might call her his own, certain
constellations compelled him to postpone that happiness a little
longer. And that Herr Dapsul von Zabelthau, moreover, must be kept in
ignorance of his son-in-law's royal station, because otherwise the
operations necessary for bringing about the desired union with the
sylphide Nehabilah might be unsuccessful. Besides, he said, he had
promised that both the weddings should take place on the same day. So
Fräulein Aennchen had to take a solemn vow not to mention one syllable
to Herr Dapsul of what had been happening to her. She therefore left
the silken palace amid long and loud rejoicings of the people, who were
in raptures with her beauty as well as with her affability and gracious
condescension of manners and behaviour.
In her dreams she once more beheld the realms of the charming King
Daucus, and was lapped in Elysium.
The letter which she had sent to Herr Amandus von Nebelstern made a
frightful impression on him. Ere long, Fräulein Aennchen received the
following answer--
'IDOL OF MY HEART, HEAVENLY ANNA,--
"Daggers--sharp, glowing, poisoned, death-dealing daggers were to me
the words of your letter, which pierced my breast through and through.
Oh, Anna! _you_ to be torn from me. What a thought! I cannot, even now,
understand how it was that I did not go mad on the spot and commit some
terrible deed. But I fled the face of man, overpowered with rage at my
deadly destiny, after dinner--without the game of billiards which I
generally play--out into the woods, where I wrung my hands, and called
on your name a thousand times. It came on a tremendously heavy rain,
and I had on a new cap, red velvet, with a splendid gold tassel
(everybody says I never had anything so becoming). The rain was
spoiling it, and it was brand-new. But what are caps, what are velvet
and gold, to a despairing lover? I strode up and down till I was wet to
the skin and chilled to the bone, and had a terrible pain in my
stomach. This drove me into a restaurant near, where I got them to make
me some excellent mulled wine, and had a pipe of your heavenly Virginia
tobacco. I soon felt myself elevated on the wings of a celestial
inspiration, took out my pocket-book, and, oh!--wondrous gift of
poetry--the love-despair and the stomach-ache both disappeared at once.
I shall content myself with writing out for you only the last of these
poems; it will inspire you with heavenly hope, as it did myself.
"Wrapped in darkest sorrow--
In my heart, extinguished,
No love-tapers burning--
Joy hath no to-morrow.
"Ha! the Muse approaches,
Words and rhymes inspiring,
Little verse inscribing,
Joy returns apace.
"New love-tapers blazing,
All the heart inspiring,
Fare thee well, my sorrow,
Joy thy place doth borrow.
"Ay, my sweet Anna, soon shall I, thy champion, hasten to rescue you
from the miscreant who would carry you off from me. So, once more take
comfort, sweetest maid. Bear me ever in thy heart. He comes; he rescues
you; he clasps you to his bosom, which heaves in tumultuous emotion.
"Your ever faithful
"AMANDUS VON NEBELSTERN.
"P.S.--It would be quite impossible for me to call Herr von
Cordovanspitz out. For, oh Anna! every drop of blood drawn from your
Amandus by the weapon of a presumptuous adversary were glorious poet's
blood--ichor of the gods--which never ought to be shed. The world very
properly claims that such a spirit as mine has it imposed upon it as
public duty to take care of itself for the world's benefit, and
preserve itself by every possible means. The sword of the poet is the
word--the song. I will attack my rival with Tyrtæan battle-songs;
strike him to earth with sharp-pointed epigrams; hew him down with
dithyrambics full of lover's fury. Such are the weapons of a true,
genuine poet, powerful to shield him from every danger. And it is so
accoutred that I shall appear, and do battle--victorious battle--for
your hand, oh, Anna!
"Farewell. I press you once more to my heart. Hope all things from my
love, and, especially, from my heroic courage, which will shun no
danger to set you free from the shameful nets of captivity in which, to
all appearance, you are entangled by a demoniacal monster."
Fräulein Aennchen received this letter at a time when she was playing a
game at "Catch-me-if-you-can" with her royal bridegroom elect, King
Daucus Carota the First, in the meadow at the back of the garden, and
immensely enjoying it when, as was often the case, she suddenly ducked
down in full career, and the little king would go shooting right away
over her head. Instead of reading the letter immediately (which she had
always done before), she put it in her pocket unopened, and we shall
presently see that it came too late.
Herr Dapsul could not make out at all how Fräulein Aennchen had changed
her mind so suddenly, and grown quite fond of Herr Porphyrio von
Ockerodastes, whom she had so cordially detested before. He consulted
the stars on the subject, but as they gave him no satisfactory
information, he was obliged to come to the conclusion that human hearts
are more mysterious and inscrutable than all the secrets of the
universe, and not to be thrown light upon by any constellation. He
could not think that what had produced love for the little creature in
Anna's heart was merely the highness of his nature; and personal beauty
he had none. If (as the reader knows) the canon of beauty, as laid down
by Herr Dapsul, is very unlike the ideas which young ladies form upon
that subject, he did, after all, possess sufficient knowledge of the
world to know that, although the said young women hold that good sense,
wit, cleverness and pleasant manners are very agreeable fellow-lodgers
in a comfortable house, still, a man who can't call himself the
possessor of a properly-made, fashionable coat--were he a Shakespeare,
a Goethe, a Tieck, or a Jean Paul Richter--would run a decided risk of
being beaten out of the field by any sufficiently well put-together
lieutenant of hussars in uniform, if he took it in his head to pay his
addresses to one of them. Now in Fräulein Aennchen's case it was a
different matter altogether. It was neither good looks nor cleverness
that were in question; but it is not exactly every day that a poor
country lady becomes a queen all in a moment, and accordingly it was
not very likely that Herr Dapsul should hit upon the cause which had
been operating, particularly as the very stars had left him in the
lurch.
As may be supposed, those three, Herr Porphyrio, Herr Dapsul and
Fräulein Aennchen, were one heart and one soul. This went so far that
Herr Dapsul left his tower oftener than he had ever been known to do
before, to chat with his much-prized son-in-law on all sorts of
agreeable subjects; and not only this, but he now regularly took his
breakfast in the house. About this hour, too, Herr Porphyrio was wont
to come forth from his silken palace, and eat a good share of Fräulein
Aennchen's bread and butter.
"Ah, ah!" she would often whisper softly in his ear, "if papa only knew
that you are a real king, dearest Cordovanspitz!"
"Be still, oh heart! Melt not away in rapture," Daucus Carota the First
would say. "Near, near is the joyful day!"
It chanced that the schoolmaster had sent Fräulein Aennchen a present
of some of the finest radishes from his garden. She was particularly
pleased at this, as Herr Dapsul was very fond of radishes, and she
could not get anything from the vegetable garden because it was covered
by the silk marquee. Besides this, it now occurred to her for the first
time that, among all the roots and vegetables she had seen in the
palace, radishes were conspicuous by their absence.
So she speedily cleaned them and served them up for her father's
breakfast. He had ruthlessly shorn several of them of their leafy
crowns, dipped them in salt, and eaten them with much relish, when
Cordovanspitz came in.
"Oh, my Ockerodastes," Herr Dapsul called to him, "are you fond of
radishes?"
There was still a particularly fine and beautiful radish on the dish.
But the moment Cordovanspitz saw it his eves gleamed with fury, and he
cried in a resonant voice--
"What, unworthy duke, do you dare to appear in my presence again, and
to force your way, with the coolest of audacity, into a house which is
under my protection? Have I not pronounced sentence of perpetual
banishment upon you as a pretender to the imperial throne? Away,
treasonous vassal; begone from my sight for ever!"
Two little legs had suddenly shot out beneath the radish's large head,
and with them he made a spring out of the plate, placed himself close
in front of Cordovanspitz, and addressed him as follows--
"Fierce and tyrannical Daucus Carota the First, you have striven in
vain to exterminate my race. Had ever any of your family a head as
large as mine, or that of my king? We are all gifted with talent,
common-sense, wisdom, sharpness, cultivated manners: and whilst _you_
loaf about in kitchens and stables, and are of no use as soon as your
early youth is gone (so that in very truth it is nothing but the
_diable de la jeunesse_ that bestows upon you your brief, transitory,
little bit of good fortune), _we_ enjoy the friendship of, and the
intercourse with, people of position, and are greeted with acclamation
as soon as ever we lift up our green heads. But I despise you, Daucus
Carota. You're nothing but a low, uncultivated, ignorant Boor, like all
the lot of you. Let's see which of us two is the better man."
With this the Duke of Radish, flourishing a long whip about his head,
proceeded, without more ado, to attack the person of King Daucus Carota
the First. The latter quickly drew his little sword, and defended
himself in the bravest manner. The two little creatures darted about in
the room, fighting fiercely, and executing the most wonderful leaps and
bounds, till Daucus Carota pressed the Duke of Radish so hard that the
latter found himself obliged to make a tremendous jump out of the
window and take to the open. But Daucus Carota--with whose remarkable
agility and dexterity the reader is already acquainted--bounded out
after him, and followed the Duke of Radish across country.
Herr Dapsul von Zabelthau had looked on at this terrible encounter
rigid and speechless, but he now broke forth into loud and bitter
lamentation, crying, "Oh, daughter Anna! oh, my poor unfortunate
daughter Anna! Lost--I--you--both of us. All is over with us." With
which he left the room, and ascended the astronomical tower as fast as
his legs would carry him.
Fräulein Aennchen couldn't understand a bit, or form the very slightest
idea what in all the world had set her father into all this boundless
misery all of a sudden. The whole thing had caused her the greatest
pleasure; moreover, her heart was rejoiced that she had had an
opportunity of seeing that her future husband was brave, as well as
rich and great; for it would be difficult to find any woman in all the
world capable of loving a poltroon. And now that she had proof of the
bravery of King Daucus Carota the First, it struck her painfully, for
the first time, that Herr Amandus von Nebelstern had cried off from
fighting him. If she had for a moment hesitated about sacrificing Herr
Amandus to King Daucus, she was quite decided on the point now that she
had an opportunity of assuring herself of all the excellencies of her
future lord. She sat down and wrote the following letter:--
"MY DEAR AMANDUS,
"Everything in this world is liable to change. Everything passes away,
as the schoolmaster says, and he's quite right. I'm sure _you_, my dear
Amandus, are such a learned and wise student that you will agree with
the schoolmaster, and not be in the very least surprised that my heart
and mind have undergone the least little bit of a change. You may quite
believe me when I say that I still like you very well, and I can quite
imagine how nice you look in your red velvet cap with the gold tassel.
But, with regard to marriage, you know very well, Amandus dear, that,
clever as you are, and beautiful as are your verses, you will never, in
all your days, be a king, and (don't be frightened, dear) little Herr
von Cordovanspitz isn't Herr von Cordovanspitz at all, but a great
king, Daucus Carota the First, who reigns over the great vegetable
kingdom, and has chosen me to be his queen. Since my dear king has
thrown aside his incognito he has grown much nicer-looking, and I see
now that papa was quite right when he said that the head was the beauty
of the man, and therefore couldn't possibly be big enough. And then,
Daucus Carota the First (you see how well I remember the beautiful name
and how nicely I write it now that has got so familiar to me), I was
going to say that my little royal husband, that is to be, has such
charming and delightful manners that there's no describing them. And
what courage, what bravery there is in him! Before my eyes he put to
flight the Duke of Radish, (and a very disagreeable, unfriendly
creature _he_ appears to be) and hey, how he did jump after him out of
the window! You should just have seen him: I only wish you had! And I
don't really think that my Daucus Carota would care about those weapons
of yours that you speak about one bit. He seems pretty tough, and I
don't believe verses would do him any harm at all, however fine and
pointed they might be. So now, dear Amandus, you must just make up your
mind to be contented with your lot, like a good fellow, and not be
vexed with me that I am going to be a Queen instead of marrying you.
Never mind, I shall always be your affectionate friend, and if ever you
would like an appointment in the Carrot bodyguard, or (as you don't
care so much about fighting as about learning) in the Parsley Academy
or the Pumpkin Office, you have but to say the word and your fortune is
made. Farewell, and don't be vexed with
"Your former _fiancée_, but now friend and well-wisher, as well
as future Queen,
"ANNA VON ZABELTHAU.
"(but soon to be no more Von Zabelthau, but simply
ANNA.)
"P.S.--You shall always be kept well supplied with the very finest
Virginia tobacco, of that you need have no fear. As far as I can see
there won't be any smoking at my court, but I shall take care to have a
bed or two of Virginia tobacco planted not far from the throne, under
my own special care. This will further culture and morality, and my
little Daucus will no doubt have a statute specially enacted on the
subject."
CHAPTER V.
IN WHICH AN ACCOUNT IS GIVEN OF A FRIGHTFUL CATASTROPHE, AND WE PROCEED
WITH THE FUTURE COURSE OF EVENTS.
Fräulein Aennchen had just finished her letter to Herr Amandus von
Nebelstern, when in came Herr Dapsul von Zabelthau and began, in the
bitterest grief and sorrow to say, "O, my daughter Anna, how shamefully
we are both deceived and betrayed! This miscreant who made me believe
he was Baron Porphyrio von Ockerodastes, known as Cordovanspitz, member
of a most illustrious family descended from the mighty gnome Tsilmenech
and the noble Abbess of Cordova--this miscreant, I say--learn it and
fall down insensible--_is_ indeed a gnome, but of that lowest of all
gnomish castes which has charge of the vegetables. The gnome Tsilmenech
was of the highest caste of all, that, namely, to which the care
of the diamonds is committed. Next comes the caste which has care
of the metals in the realms of the metal-king, and then follow the
flower-gnomes, who are lower in position, as depending on the sylphs.
But the lowest and most ignoble are the vegetable gnomes, and not only
is this deceiver Cordovanspitz a gnome of this caste, but he is actual
king of it, and his name is Daucus Carota."
Fräulein Aennchen was far from fainting away, neither was she in the
smallest degree frightened, but she smiled in the kindliest way at her
lamenting papa, and the Courteous reader is aware of the reason. But as
Herr Dapsul was very much surprised at this, and kept imploring her for
Heaven's sake to realize the terrible position in which she was, and to
feel the full horror of it, she thought herself at liberty to divulge
the secret entrusted to her. She told Herr Dapsul how the so-called
Baron von Cordovanspitz had told her his real position long ago, and
that since then she had found him altogether so pleasant and delightful
that she couldn't wish for a better husband. Moreover she described all
the marvellous beauties of the vegetable kingdom into which King Daucus
Carota the First had taken her, not forgetting to duly extol the
remarkably delightful manners of the inhabitants of that realm.
Herr Dapsul struck his hands together several times, and wept bitterly
over the deceiving wickedness of the Gnome-king, who had been, and
still was, employing means the most artful--most dangerous for himself
as well--to lure the unfortunate Anna down into his dark, demoniac
kingdom. "Glorious," he explained, "glorious and advantageous as may be
the union of an elementary spirit with a human being, grand as is the
example of this given by the wedlock of the gnome Tsilmenech with
Magdalena de la Croix (which is of course the reason why this deceiver
Daucus Carota has given himself out as being a descendant of that
union), yet the kings and princes of those races are very different. If
the Salamander kings are only irascible, the sylph kings proud and
haughty, the Undine queens affectionate and jealous, the gnome kings
are fierce, cruel, and deceitful. Merely to revenge themselves on the
children of earth, who deprive them of their vassals, they are
constantly trying their utmost to lure one of them away, who then
wholly lays aside her human nature, and, becoming as shapeless as the
gnomes themselves, has to go down into the earth, and is never more
seen."
Fräulein Aennchen didn't seem disposed to believe what her father was
telling her to her dear Daucus's discredit, but began talking again
about the marvels of the beautiful vegetable country over which she was
expecting so soon to reign as queen.
"Foolish, blinded child," cried Herr Dapsul, "do you not give your
father credit for possessing sufficient cabalistic science to be well
aware that what the abominable Daucus Carota made you suppose you saw
was all deception and falsehood? No, you don't believe me, and to save
you, my only child, I must convince you, and this conviction must be
arrived at by most desperate methods. Come with me."
For the second time she had to go up into the astronomical tower with
her papa. From a big band-box Herr Dapsul took a quantity of yellow,
red, white, and green ribbon, and, with strange ceremonies, he wrapped
Fräulein Aennchen up in it from head to foot. He did the same to
himself, and then they both went very carefully to the silken palace of
Daucus Carota the First. It was close shut, and by her papa's
directions, she had to rip a small opening in one of the seams of it
with a large pair of scissors, and then peep in at the opening.
Heaven be about us! what did she see? Instead of the beautiful
vegetable garden, the carrot guards, the plumed ladies, lavender pages,
lettuce princes, and so forth, she found herself looking down into a
deep pool which seemed to be full of a colourless, disgusting-looking
slime, in which all kinds of horrible creatures from the bowels of the
earth were creeping and twining about. There were fat worms slowly
writhing about amongst each other, and beetle-like creatures stretching
out their short legs and creeping heavily out. On their backs they bore
big onions; but these onions had ugly human faces, and kept fleering
and leering at each other with bleared yellow eyes, and trying, with
their little claws (which were close behind their ears), to catch hold
of one another by their long roman noses, and drag each other down into
the slime, while long, naked slugs were rolling about in crowds, with
repulsive torpidity, stretching their long horns out of their depths.
Fräulein Aennchen was nearly fainting away at this horrid sight. She
held both hands to her face, and ran away as hard as she could.
"You see now, do you not," said Herr Dapsul, "how this atrocious Daucus
Carota has been deceiving you in showing you splendours of brief
duration? He dressed his vassals up in gala dresses to delude you with
dazzling displays. But now you have seen the kingdom which you want to
reign over in undress uniform; and when you become the consort of
the frightful Daucus Carota you will have to live for ever in the
subterranean realms, and never appear on the surface any more. And
if--Oh, oh, what must I see, wretched, most miserable of fathers that I
am?"
He got into such a state all in a moment that she felt certain some
fresh misfortune had just come to light, and asked him anxiously
what he was lamenting about now. However, he could do nothing for
sheer sobbing, but stammer out, "Oh--oh--dau-gh-ter. Wha-t ar--e
y-ou--l--l--like?" She ran to her room, looked into the looking-glass,
and started back, terrified almost to death.
And she had reason; for the matter stood thus. As Herr Dapsul was
trying to open the eyes of Daucus Carota's intended queen to the danger
she was in of gradually losing her pretty figure and good looks, and
growing more and more into the semblance of a gnome queen, he suddenly
became aware of how far the process had proceeded already. Aennchen's
head had got much broader and bigger, and her skin had turned yellow,
so that she was quite ugly enough already. And though vanity was not
one of her failings, she was woman enough to know that to grow ugly is
the greatest and most frightful misfortune which can happen here below.
How often had she thought how delightful it would be when she would
drive, as queen, to church in the coach and eight, with the crown on
her head, in satins and velvets, with diamonds, and gold chains, and
rings, seated beside her royal husband, setting all the women, the
schoolmaster's wife included, into amazement of admiration, and most
likely, in fact, no doubt, instilling a proper sense of respect even
into the minds of the pompous lord and lady of the manor themselves.
Ay, indeed, how often had she been lapt in these and other such
eccentric dreams, and visions of the future!--Fräulein Aennchen burst
into long and bitter weeping.
"Anna, my daughter Anna," cried Herr Dapsul down through the speaking
trumpet; "come up here to me immediately!"
She found him dressed very much like a miner. He spoke in a tone of
decision and resolution, saying, "When need is the sorest, help is
often nearest. I have ascertained that Daucus Carota will not leave his
palace to-day, and most probably not till noon of to-morrow. He has
assembled the princes of his house, the ministers, and other people
of consequence to hold a council on the subject of the next crop of
winter cabbage. The sitting is important, and it may be prolonged so
much that we may not have any cabbage at all next winter. I mean to
take advantage of this opportunity, while he is so occupied with his
official affairs that he won't be able to attend to my proceedings, to
prepare a weapon with which I may perhaps attack this shameful gnome,
and prevail over him, so that he will be compelled to withdraw, and set
you at liberty. While I am at work, do you look uninterruptedly at the
palace through this glass, and tell me instantly if anybody comes out,
or even looks out of it." She did as she was directed, but the marquee
remained closed, although she often heard (notwithstanding that Herr
Dapsul was making a tremendous hammering on plates of metal a few paces
behind her), a wild, confused crying and screaming, apparently coming
from the marquee, and also distinct sounds of slapping, as if people's
ears were being well boxed. She told Herr Dapsul this, and he was
delighted, saying that the more they quarrelled in there the less they
were likely to know what was being prepared for their destruction.
Fräulein Aennchen was much surprised when she found that Herr Dapsul
had hammered out and made several most lovely kitchen-pots and
stew-pans of copper. As an expert in such matters, she observed that
the tinning of them was done in a most superior style, so that her papa
must have paid careful heed to the duties legally enjoined on
coppersmiths. She begged to be allowed to take these nice pots and pans
down to the kitchen, and use them there. But Herr Dapsul smiled a
mysterious smile, and merely said:
"All in good time, my daughter Anna. Just you go downstairs, my beloved
child, and wait quietly till you see what happens to-morrow."
He gave a melancholy smile, and that infused a little hope and
confidence into his luckless daughter.
Next day, as dinner-time came on, Herr Dapsul brought down his pots and
pans, and betook himself to the kitchen, telling his daughter and the
maid to go away and leave him by himself, as he was going to cook the
dinner. He particularly enjoined Fräulein Aennchen to be as kind and
pleasant with Cordovanspitz as ever she could, when he came in--as he
was pretty sure to do.
Cordovanspitz--or rather, King Daucus Carota the First--did come in
very soon, and if he had borne himself like an ardent lover on previous
occasions, he far outdid himself on this. Aennchen noticed, to her
terror, that she had grown so small by this time, that Daucus had no
difficulty in getting up into her lap to caress and kiss her; and the
wretched girl had to submit to this, notwithstanding her disgust with
the horrid little monster. Presently Herr Dapsul came in, and said--
"Oh, my most egregious Porphyrio von Ockerodastes, won't you come into
the kitchen with my daughter and me, and see what beautiful order your
future bride has got everything in there?"
Aennchen had never seen the wicked, malicious look upon her father's
face before, which it wore when he took little Daucus by the arm, and
almost forced him from the sitting-room to the kitchen. At a sign of
her father's she went there after them.
Her heart swelled within her when she saw the fire burning so merrily,
the glowing coals, the beautiful copper pots and pans. As Herr Dapsul
drew Cordovanspitz closer to the fire-place, the hissing and bubbling
in the pots grew louder and louder, and at last changed into whimpering
and groaning. And out of one of the pots came voices, crying, "Oh
Daucus Carota! Oh King, rescue your faithful vassals! Rescue us poor
carrots! Cut up, thrown into despicable water; rubbed over with salt
and butter to our torture, we suffer indescribable woe, whereof a
number of noble young parsleys are partakers with us!"
And out of the pans came the plaint: "Oh Daucus Carota! Oh King! Rescue
your faithful vassals--rescue us poor carrots. We are roasting in
hell--and they put so little water with us, that our direful thirst
forces us to drink our own heart's blood!"
And from another of the pots came: "Oh Daucus Carota! Oh King! Rescue
your faithful vassals--rescue us poor carrots. A horrible cook
eviscerated us, and stuffed our insides full of egg, cream, and butter,
so that all our ideas and other mental qualities are in utter
confusion, and we don't know ourselves what we are thinking about!"
And out of all the pots and pans came howling at once a general
chorus of "Oh Daucus Carota! Mighty King! Rescue us, thy faithful
vassals--rescue us poor carrots!"
On this, Cordovanspitz gave a loud, croaking cry of--"Cursed, infernal,
stupid humbug and nonsense!" sprang with his usual agility on to the
kitchen range, looked into one of the pots, and suddenly popped down
into it bodily. Herr Dapsul sprang in the act of putting on the cover,
with a triumphant cry of "a Prisoner!" But with the speed of a spiral
spring Cordovanspitz came bounding up out of the pot, and gave Herr
Dapsul two or three ringing slaps on the face, crying "Meddling goose
of an old Cabalist, you shall pay for this! Come out, my lads, one and
all!"
Then there came swarming out of all the pots and pans hundreds and
hundreds of little creatures about the length of one's finger, and they
attached themselves firmly all over Herr Dapsul's body, threw him down
backwards into an enormous dish, and there dished him up, pouring the
hot juice out of the pots and pans over him, and bestrewing him with
chopped egg, mace, and grated breadcrumbs. Having done this, Daucus
Carota darted out of the window, and his people after him.
Fräulein Aennchen sank down in terror beside the dish whereon her poor
papa lay, served up in this manner as if for table. She supposed he was
dead, as he gave not the faintest sign of life.
She began to lament: "Ah, poor papa--you're dead now, and there's
nobody to save me from this diabolical Daucus!" But Herr Dapsul opened
his eyes, sprang up from the dish with renewed energy, and cried in a
terrible voice, such as she had never heard him make use of before, "Ah
accursed Daucus Carota, I am not at the end of my resources yet. You
shall soon see what the meddling old goose of a Cabalist can do."
Aennchen had to set to work and clean him with the kitchen besom from
all the chopped egg, the mace, and the grated breadcrumbs; and then he
seized a copper pot, crammed it on his head by way of a helmet, took a
frying-pan in his left hand, and a long iron kitchen ladle in his
right, and thus armed and accoutred, he darted out into the open.
Fräulein Aennchen saw him running as hard as he could towards
Cordovanspitz's marquee, and yet never moving from the same spot. At
this her senses left her.
When she came to herself, Herr Dapsul had disappeared, and she got
terribly anxious when evening came, and night, and even the next
morning, without his making his appearance. She could not but dread the
very worst.
CHAPTER VI.
WHICH IS THE LAST--AND, AT THE SAME TIME, THE MOST EDIFYING OF ALL.
Fräulein Aennchen was sitting in her room in the deepest sorrow,
when the door opened, and who should come in but Herr Amandus von
Nebelstern. All shame and contrition, she shed a flood of tears, and in
the most weeping accents addressed him as follows: "Oh, my darling
Amandus, pray forgive what I wrote to you in my blinded state! I was
bewitched, and I am so still, no doubt. I am yellow, and I'm hideous,
may God pity me! But my heart is true to you, and I am not going to
marry any king at all."
"My dear girl," said Amandus, "I really don't see what you have to
complain of. I consider you one of the luckiest women in the world."
"Oh, don't mock at me," she cried. "I am punished severely enough for
my absurd vanity in wishing to be a Queen."
"Really and truly, my dear girl," said Amandus, "I can't make you
out one bit. To tell you the real truth, your last letter drove me
stark, staring mad. I first thrashed my servant-boy, then my poodle,
smashed several glasses--and you know a student who's breathing out
threatenings and slaughter in that sort of way isn't to be trifled
with. But when I got a little calmer I made up my mind to come on here
as quickly as I could, and see with my own eyes how, why, and to whom I
had lost my intended bride. Love makes no distinction of class or
station, and I made up my mind that I would make this King Daucus
Carota give a proper account of himself, and ask him if this tale about
his marrying you was mere brag, or if he really meant it--but
everything here is different to what I expected. As I was passing near
the grand marquee that is put up yonder, King Daucus Carota came out of
it, and I soon found that I had before me the most charming prince I
ever saw--at the same time he happens to be the first I ever did see;
but that's nothing. For, just fancy, my dear girl, he immediately
detected the sublime poet in me, praised my poems (which he has never
read) above measure, and offered to appoint me Poet Laureate in his
service. Now a position of that sort has long been the fairest goal of
my warmest wishes, so that I accepted his offer with a thousandfold
delight. Oh, my dear girl, with what an enthusiasm of inspiration will
I chant your praises! A poet can love queens and princesses: or rather,
it is really a part of his simple duty to choose a person of that
exalted station to be the lady of his heart. And if he _does_ get
rather cracky in the head on the subject, that circumstance of itself
gives rise to that celestial delirium without which no poetry is
possible, and no one ought to feel any surprise at a poet's perhaps
somewhat extravagant proceedings. Remember the great Tasso, who must
have had a considerable bee in his bonnet when in love with the
Princess Leonore d'Este. Yes, my dear girl, as you are going to be a
queen so soon, you will always be the lady of my heart, and I will
extol you to the stars in the sublimest and most celestial verses."
"What, you have seen him, the wicked Cobold?" Fräulein Aennchen broke
out in the deepest amazement. "And he has----"
But at that moment in came the little gnomish King himself, and said,
in the tenderest accents, "Oh, my sweet, darling _fiancée_! Idol of my
heart! Do not suppose for a moment that I am in the least degree
annoyed with the little piece of rather unseemly conduct which Herr
Dapsul von Zabelthau was guilty of. Oh, no--and indeed it has led to
the more rapid fulfilment of my hopes; so that the solemn ceremony of
our marriage will actually be celebrated to-morrow. You will be pleased
to find that I have appointed Herr Amandus von Nebelstern our Poet
Laureate, and I should wish him at once to favour us with a specimen of
his talents, and recite one of his poems. But let us go out under the
trees, for I love the open air: and I will lie in your lap, while you,
my most beloved bride elect, may scratch my head a little while he is
singing--for I am fond of having my head scratched in such
circumstances."
Fräulein Aennschen, turned to stone with horror and alarm, made no
resistance to this proposal. Daucus Carota, out under the trees,
laid himself in her lap, she scratched his head, and Herr Amandus,
accompanying himself on the guitar, began the first of twelve dozen
songs which he had composed and written out in a thick book.
It is matter of regret that in the Chronicle of Dapsulheim (from which
all this history is taken), these songs have not been inserted, it
being merely stated that the country folk who were passing, stopped on
their way, and anxiously inquired who could be in such terrible pain in
Herr Dapsul's wood, that he was crying and screaming out in such a
style.
Daucus Carota, in Aennschen's lap, twisted and writhed, and groaned and
whined more and more lamentably, as if he had a violent pain in his
stomach. Moreover, Fräulein Aennchen fancied she observed, to her great
amazement, that Cordovanspitz was growing smaller and smaller as the
song went on. At last Herr Amandus sung the following sublime effusion
(which is preserved in the Chronicle):--
"Gladly sings the Bard, enraptured,
Breath of blossoms, bright dream-visions,
Moving thro' roseate spaces in Heaven,
Blessed and beautiful, whither away?
'Whither away?' oh, question of questions--
Towards that 'Whither,' the Bard is borne onward,
Caring for nought but to love, to believe.
Moving through roseate heavenly spaces,
Towards this 'Whither,' where'er it may be,
Singeth the bard, in a tumult of rapture,
Ever becoming a radiant em----"
At this point, Daucus Carota uttered a loud croaking cry, and, now
dwindled into a little, little carrot, slipped down from Aennchen's
lap, and into the ground, leaving no trace behind. Upon which, the
great grey fungus which had grown in the night time beside the grassy
bank, shot up and up; but this fungus was nothing less than Herr Dapsul
von Zabelthau's grey felt hat, and he himself was under it, and fell
stormily on Amandus's breast, crying out in the utmost ecstasy, "Oh, my
dearest, best, most beloved Herr Amandus von Nebelstern, with that
mighty song of conjuration you have beaten all my cabalistic science
out of the held? What the profoundest magical art, the utmost daring of
the philosopher fighting for his very existence, could not accomplish,
your verses achieved, passing into the frame of the deceitful Daucus
Carota like the deadliest poison, so that he must have perished of
stomach-ache, in spite of his gnomish nature, if he had not made off
into his kingdom. My daughter Anna is delivered--I am delivered from
the horrible charm which held me spellbound here in the shape of a
nasty fungus, at the risk of being hewn to pieces by my own daughter's
hands; for the good soul hacks them all down with her spade, unless
their edible character is unmistakable, as in the case of the
mushrooms. Thanks, my most heartfelt thanks, and I have no doubt your
intentions as regards my daughter have undergone no change. I am sorry
to say she has lost her good looks, through the machinations of that
inimical gnome; but you are too much of a philosopher to----"
"Oh, dearest papa," cried Aennchen, overjoyed; "just look there! The
silken palace is gone! The abominable monster is off and away with all
his tribe of salad-princes, cucumber-ministers, and Lord knows what
all!" And she ran away to the vegetable garden, delighted, Herr Dapsul
following as fast as he could. Herr Amandus went behind them, muttering
to himself, "I'm sure I don't know quite what to make of all this. But
this I maintain, that that ugly little carrot creature is a vile,
prosaic lubber, and none of your poetical kings, or my sublime lay
wouldn't have given him the stomach-ache, and sent him scuttling into
the ground."
As Fräulein Aennchen was standing in the vegetable garden, where there
wasn't the trace of a green blade to be seen, she suddenly felt a sharp
pain in the finger which had on the fateful ring. At the same time a
cry of piercing sorrow sounded from the ground, and the tip of a carrot
peeped out. Guided by her inspiration she quickly took the ring off (it
came quite easily this time), stuck it on to the carrot, and the latter
disappeared, while the cry of sorrow ceased. But, oh, wonder of
wonders! all at once Fräulein Aennchen was as pretty as ever,
well-proportioned, and as fair and white as a country lady can be
expected to be. She and her father rejoiced greatly, while Amandus
stood puzzled, and not knowing what to make of it all.
Fräulein Aennchen took the spade from the maid, who had come running
up, and flourished it in the air with a joyful shout of "Now let's set
to work," in doing which she was unfortunate enough to deal Herr
Amandus such a thwack on the head with it (just at the place where the
Sensorium Commune is supposed to be situated) that he fell down as one
dead.
Aennchen threw the murderous weapon far from her, cast herself
down beside her beloved, and broke out into the most despairing
lamentations, whilst the maid poured the contents of a watering pot
over him, and Herr Dapsul quickly ascended the astronomic tower to
consult the stars with as little delay as possible as to whether Herr
Amandus was dead or not. But it was not long before the latter opened
his eyes again, jumped to his legs, clasped Fräulein Aennchen in his
arms, and cried, with all the rapture of affection, "Now, my best and
dearest Anna, we are one another again."
The very remarkable, scarcely credible effect of this occurrence on the
two lovers very soon made itself perceptible. Fräulein Aennchen took a
dislike to touching a spade, and she did really reign like a queen over
the vegetable world, inasmuch as, though taking care that her vassals
were properly supervised and attended to, she set no hand to the work
herself, but entrusted it to maids in whom she had confidence.
Herr Amandus, for his part, saw now that everything he had ever written
in the shape of verses was wretched, miserable trash, and, burying
himself in the works of the real poets, both of ancient and modern
times, his being was soon so filled with a beneficent enthusiasm that
no room was left for any consideration of himself. He arrived at the
conviction that a real poem has got to be something other than a
confused jumble of words shaken together under the influence of a
crude, jejeune delirium, and threw all his own (so-called) poetry, of
which he had had such a tremendous opinion, into the fire, becoming
once more quite the sensible young gentleman, clear and open in heart
and mind, which he had been originally.
And one morning Herr Dapsul did actually come down from his
astronomical tower to go to church with Fräulein Aennchen and Herr
Amandus von Nebelstern on the occasion of their marriage.
They led an exceedingly happy wedded life. But as to whether Herr
Dapsul's union with the Sylphide Nehabilah ever actually came to
anything the Chronicle of Dapsulheim is silent.
During the reading of this the Friends had laughed a good deal, and
they were unanimously of opinion that, though there was not a great
deal in the plot, yet that the details were so humorous and droll that,
as a whole, the tale was a success.
"As to the plot," Vincenz said, "there is rather a curious circumstance
connected with that. Not long since, happening to be dining at the
table of a certain lady of princely rank, there was a lady present who
had on a gold ring with a beautiful topaz, of which the remarkably
antique-looking form and workmanship attracted universal attention. We
thought it had been some precious heirloom, and were astonished to hear
that it had been found sticking on a carrot dug up on her property a
few years previously. Probably it had been lying pretty deep in the
ground, and had been brought towards the surface when the land was
trenched, so that the carrot had grown through it.
"The Princess pointed out what a good idea for a story this suggested,
and wished that I should set to work to write one at once on the
subject. So, you see, I hadn't far to go for the idea of the 'Vegetable
King and his People,' and I claim the invention of them for myself, for
there isn't a trace of him to be found in Gabalis or any other book of
the kind."
"Now," said Lothair, "I think we may say that on none of our former
Serapion evenings has our fare been of a more various character than
to-night. And it is good that we have managed to emerge from that
gruesome darkness into which we had wandered somehow--I am sure it is
hard to tell why--into the clear, brightsome light of day, although, no
doubt, a serious, careful person might, with some reason, say that all
the fantastic matter which we have so long been going on spinning and
accumulating might have a considerable tendency to induce confusion of
head, if not headache and feverishness."
"We should all do the best we can," said Theodore. "But let no one deem
that his own particular qualities and powers constitute the norm of
what the human understanding is to have laid before it. For there are
people--good sensible folks enough in other respects--who are so easily
made giddy in their heads that they think the rapid flight of an
awakened imagination is the result of an unsound condition of mind. So
that such people say, of this or the other writer, that he only writes
when he is under the influence of intoxicating drinks, and attribute
his imaginative writings to over-excited nerves, and a certain amount
of deliriousness thence arising. But everybody knows that although a
condition of mind raising from either of those causes can give rise to
a happy thought, or fortunate idea, it is impossible that it can yield
perfect and finished work, because that demands the very quietest study
and consideration."
On this evening Theodore had set before his friends some remarkably
superior wine sent to him by a friend on the Rhine. He poured what
remained of it into the glasses, and said:--
"I cannot explain why it should be so; but a melancholy foreboding
comes upon me that we are going to part for a long time, and may,
perhaps, never meet again. But surely the remembrance of those Serapion
evenings will long live in our minds. We have given free play to the
capricious promptings of our fancy. Each of us has spoken out what he
saw in his mind's eye, without supposing his ideas to be anything
extraordinary, or giving them forth as being so, knowing well that the
first essential of all effective composition is that kindly
unpretendingness which is the thing that has the power to warm the
heart and please the mind. If Fate is about to part us, then let us
always faithfully follow the rule of Saint Serapion, and vowing this to
each other, drink this last glass of our wine."
What Theodore suggested was accordingly done.
LONDON: PRINTED BY WILLIAM CLOWES AND SONS, LIMITED, STANFORD STREET
AND CHARING CROSS.