"How anybody ever came to the conclusion that there was any God who
demanded that you should feel sorrowful and miserable and bleak
one-seventh of the time is beyond my comprehension. Neither can I
conceive how they can say that one-seventh of time is holy. That day
is the most sacred day on which the most good has been done for
mankind. Now, there was a time among the Jews, when, if a man violated
the Sabbath, they would kill him. They said God told them to do it. I
think they were mistaken. If not, if any God did tell them to kill
him, then I think he was mistaken. I hope the time will come when
every man can spend the Sabbath just as he pleases, provided he does
not interfere with the happiness of others. I would fight just as
earnestly that the Christian may go to church as that the infidel may
have the right to spend the Sabbath as he wishes. Are the people who
go to church the only good people? Are there not a great many bad
people who go to church? Not a bank in Pittsburgh will lend a dollar
to the man who belongs to the church, without security, quicker than to
the man who don't go to church. Now, I believe that all laws upon the
statute-book should be enforced. I do not blame anybody in this town.
I am perfectly willing that every preacher in this town should preach.
They are employed to preach, and to preach a certain doctrine, and if
they don't preach that doctrine they will be turned out. I have no
objection to that. But I want the same privilege to express my views,
and what is the difference whether the man pays the day he goes in, or
pays for it the week before by subscription.
What would the church people think if the theatrical people should
attempt to suppress the churches? What harm would it do to have an
opera here tonight? It would elevate us more than to hear ten thousand
sermons on the world that never dies. There is more practical wisdom
in one of the plays of Shakespeare than in all the sacred books ever
written. What wrong would there be to see one of those grand plays on
Sunday? There was a time when the church would not allow you to cook
on Sunday. You had to eat your victuals cold. There was a time they
thought the more miserable you feel the better God feels. There are
sixty odd thousand preachers in the United States. Some people regard
them as a necessary evil; some as an unnecessary evil. There are sixty
odd thousand churches in the United States; and it does seem to me that
with all the wealth on their side; with all the good people on their
side; with Providence on their side; with all these advantages they
ought to let us at least have the right to speak our thoughts.
The history of the world shows me that the right has not always
prevailed. When you see innocent men chained to the stake and the
flames licking their flesh, it is natural to ask, why does God permit
this? If you see a man in prison with the chains eating into his flesh
simply for loving God, you've got to ask why does not a just God
interfere? You've got to meet this; it won't do to say that it will
all come out for the best. That may do very well for God, but it's
awful hard on the man. Where was the God that permitted slavery for
two hundred years in these United States? The history of the world
shows that when a mean thing was done, man did it; when a good thing
was done, man did it.
But there was a time when there was a drought, and this tribe of
savages with their false notions of religion says somebody has been
wicked. Somebody has been lecturing on Sunday. Then the tribe hunted
out the wicked man. They said you've got to stop. We cannot allow you
to continue your wickedness, which brings punishment upon the whole of
us. What is the reason they allow me to speak tonight. Because the
Christians are not as firm in their belief now as they were a thousand
years ago. The luke warmness and hypocrisy of Christians now permit me
to speak tonight. If they felt as they did a thousand years ago they
would kill me. So religious persecution was born of the instinct of
self-defense. Is there any duty we owe to God? Can we help him, can
we add to his glory or happiness? They tell me this God is infinitely
wise, I cannot add to his wisdom; infinitely happy--I cannot add to his
happiness. What can I do? Maybe he wants me to make prayers that
won't be answered. I cannot see any relation that can exist between
the finite and the infinite. I acknowledge that I am under obligations
to my fellow man. We owe duties to our fellow man. And what? Simply
to make them happy.
The only good, is happiness; and the only evil, is misery, or
unhappiness. Only those things are right that tend to increase the
happiness of man; only those things are wrong which tend to increase
the misery of man. That is the basis of right and wrong. There never
would have been the idea of wrong except that man can inflict
sufferings upon others. Utility, then, is the basis of the idea of
right and wrong.
The church tells us that this world is a school to prepare us for
another, that it is a place to build up character. Well, if that is
the only way character can be developed it is bad for children who die
before they get any character. What would you think of a school-master
who would kill half his pupils the first day?
Now, I read the bible, and I find that God so loved this world that He
made up His mind to damn the most of us. I have read this book, and
what shall I say of it? I believe it is generally better to be honest.
Now, I don't believe the bible. Had I not better say so? They say
that if you do you will regret it when you come to die. If that be
true, I know a great many religious people who will have no cause to
regret it--they don't tell their honest convictions about the bible.
There are two great arguments of the church--the great man argument and
the death-bed. They say the religion of your fathers is good enough.
Why should your father object to your inventing a better plow than he
had. They say to one, do you know more than all the theologians dead?
Being a perfectly modest man I say I think I do. Now we have come to
the conclusion that every man has a right to think. Would God give a
bird wings and make it a crime to fly? Would he give me brains and
make it a crime to think? Any God that would damn one of his children
for the expression of his honest thought wouldn't make a decent thief.
When I read a book and don't believe it, I ought to say so. I will do
so and take the consequence like a man. And so I object to paying for
the support of another man's belief. I am in favor of the taxation of
all church property. If that property belongs to God, He is able to
pay the tax. If we exempt anything, let us exempt the home of the widow
and orphan.
[A voice here interrupted the speaker.
Col. Ingersoll--What did the gentleman say? A voice--O, he's drunk.
Col. Ingersoll--I didn't think any Christian ought to get drunk and
come here to disturb us.