CHAPTER XIV

Hugh had no suspicion that Clara had him under consideration as a

possible husband. He knew nothing about her, but after she went away he

began to think. She was a woman and good to look upon and at once took

Rose McCoy's place in his mind. All unloved men and many who are loved

play in a half subconscious way with the figures of many women as

women's minds play with the figures of men, seeing them in many

situations, vaguely caressing them, dreaming of closer contacts. With

Hugh the impulse toward women had started late, but it was becoming

every day more active. When he talked to Clara and while she stayed

in his presence, he was more embarrassed than he had ever been before,

because he was more conscious of her than he had ever been of any other

woman. In secret he was not the modest man he thought himself. The

success of his corn-cutting machine and his car-dumping apparatus and

the respect, amounting almost to worship, he sometimes saw in the eyes

of the people of the Ohio town had fed his vanity. It was a time when

all America was obsessed with one idea, and to the people of Bidwell

nothing could be more important, necessary and vital to progress than

the things Hugh had done. He did not walk and talk like the other people

of the town, and his body was over-large and loosely put together, but

in secret he did not want to be different even in a physical way. Now

and then there came an opportunity for a test of physical strength: an

iron bar was to be lifted or a part of some heavy machine swung into

place in the shop. In such a test he had found he could lift almost

twice the load another could handle. Two men grunted and strained,

trying to lift a heavy bar off the floor and put it on a bench. He came

along and did the job alone and without apparent effort.

In his room at night or in the late afternoon or evening in the summer

when he walked on country roads, he sometimes felt keen hunger for

recognition of his merits from his fellows, and having no one to praise

him, he praised himself. When the Governor of the State spoke in praise

of him before a crowd and when he made Rose McCoy come away because it

seemed immodest for him to stay and hear such words, he found himself

unable to sleep. After tossing in his bed for two or three hours he got

up and crept quietly out of the house. He was like a man who, having

an unmusical voice, sings to himself in a bath-room while the water

is making a loud, splashing noise. On that night Hugh wanted to be an

orator. As he stumbled in the darkness along Turner's Pike he imagined

himself Governor of a State addressing a multitude of people. A mile

north of Pickleville a dense thicket grew beside the road, and Hugh

stopped and addressed the young trees and bushes. In the darkness

the mass of bushes looked not unlike a crowd standing at attention,

listening. The wind blew and played in the thick, dry growth and there

was a sound as of many voices whispering words of encouragement. Hugh

said many foolish things. Expressions he had heard from the lips of

Steve Hunter and Tom Butterworth came into his mind and were repeated

by his lips. He spoke of the swift growth that had come to the town of

Bidwell as though it were an unmixed blessing, the factories, the homes

of happy, contented people, the coming of industrial development as

something akin to a visit of the gods. Rising to the height of egotism

he shouted, “I have done it. I have done it.”

Hugh heard a buggy coming along the road and fled into the thicket. A

farmer, who had gone to town for the evening and who had stayed after

the political meeting to talk with other farmers in Ben Head's saloon,

went homeward, asleep in his buggy. His head nodded up and down, heavy

with the vapors rising from many glasses of beer. Hugh came out of the

thicket feeling somewhat ashamed. The next day he wrote a letter to

Sarah Shepherd and told her of his progress. “If you or Henry want any

money, I can let you have all you want,” he wrote, and did not resist

the temptation to tell her something of what the Governor had said of

his work and his mind. “Anyway they must think I amount to something

whether I do or not,” he said wistfully.

Having awakened to his own importance in the life about him, Hugh wanted

direct, human appreciation. After the failure of the effort both he and

Rose had made to break through the wall of embarrassment and reserve

that kept them apart, he knew pretty definitely that he wanted a woman,

and the idea, once fixed in his mind, grew to gigantic proportions. All

women became interesting, and he looked with hungry eyes at the wives

of the workmen who sometimes came to the shop door to pass a word with

their husbands, at young farm girls who drove along Turner's Pike on

summer afternoons, town girls who walked in the Bidwell Main Street in

the evening, at fair women and dark women. As he wanted a woman more

consciously and determinedly he became more afraid of individual women.

His success and his association with the workmen in his shop had made

him less self-conscious in the presence of men, but the women were

different. In their presence he was ashamed of his secret thoughts of

them.

On the day when he was left alone with Clara, Tom Butterworth and Alfred

Buckley stayed at the back of the shop for nearly twenty minutes. It

was a hot day and beads of sweat stood on Hugh's face. His sleeves were

rolled to his elbows and his hands and hairy arms were covered with shop

grime. He put up his hand to wipe the sweat from his forehead, leaving

a long, black mark. Then he became aware of the fact that as she talked

the woman looked at him in an absorbed, almost calculating way. It was

as though he were a horse and she were a buyer examining him to be sure

he was sound and of a kindly disposition. While she stood beside him her

eyes were shining and her cheeks were flushed. The awakening, assertive

male thing in him whispered that the flush on her cheeks and the shining

eyes were indicative of something. His mind had been taught that lesson

by the slight and wholly unsatisfactory experience with the school

teacher at his boarding-house.

Clara drove away from the shop with her father and Alfred Buckley. Tom

drove and Alfred Buckley leaned forward and talked. “You must find out

whether or not Steve has an option on the new tool. It would be foolish

to ask outright and give ourselves away. That inventor is stupid and

vain. Those fellows always are. They appear to be quiet and shrewd, but

they always let the cat out of the bag. The thing to do is to flatter

him in some way. A woman could find out all he knows in ten minutes.” He

turned to Clara and smiled. There was something infinitely impertinent

in the fixed, animal-like stare of his eyes. “We do take you into our

plans, your father and me, eh?” he said. “You must be careful not to

give us away when you talk to that inventor.”

From his shop window Hugh stared at the backs of the heads of the three

people. The top of Tom Butterworth's buggy had been let down, and when

he talked Alfred Buckley leaned forward and his head disappeared. Hugh

thought Clara must look like the kind of woman men meant when they spoke

of a lady. The farmer's daughter had an instinct for clothes, and Hugh's

mind got the idea of gentility by way of the medium of clothes. He

thought the dress she had worn the most stylish thing he had ever seen.

Clara's friend Kate Chanceller, while mannish in her dress, had an

instinct for style and had taught Clara some valuable lessons. “Any

woman can dress well if she knows how,” Kate had declared. She had

taught Clara how to study and emphasize by dress the good points of her

body. Beside Clara, Rose McCoy looked dowdy and commonplace.

Hugh went to the rear of his shop to where there was a water-tap and

washed his hands. Then he went to a bench and tried to take up the work

he had been doing. Within five minutes he went to wash his hands again.

He went out of the shop and stood beside the small stream that rippled

along beneath willow bushes and disappeared under the bridge beneath

Turner's Pike, and then went back for his coat and quit work for the

day. An instinct led him to go past the creek again and he knelt on the

grass at the edge and again washed his hands.

Hugh's growing vanity was fed by the thought that Clara was interested

in him, but it was not yet strong enough to sustain the thought. He took

a long walk, going north from the shop along Turner's Pike for two or

three miles and then by a cross road between corn and cabbage fields to

where he could, by crossing a meadow, get into a wood. For an hour he

sat on a log at the wood's edge and looked south. Away in the distance,

over the roofs of the houses of the town, he could see a white speck

against a background of green--the Butterworth farm house. Almost at

once he decided that the thing he had seen in Clara's eyes and that was

sister to something he had seen in Rose McCoy's eyes had nothing to do

with him. The mantle of vanity he had been wearing dropped off and left

him naked and sad. “What would she be wanting of me?” he asked himself,

and got up from the log to look with critical eyes at his long, bony

body. For the first time in two or three years he thought of the words

so often repeated in his presence by Sarah Shepard in the first few

months after he left his father's shack by the shore of the Mississippi

River and came to work at the railroad station. She had called his

people lazy louts and poor white trash and had railed against his

inclination to dreams. By struggle and work he had conquered the dreams

but could not conquer his ancestry, nor change the fact that he was at

bottom poor white trash. With a shudder of disgust he saw himself again

a boy in ragged clothes that smelled of fish, lying stupid and half

asleep in the grass beside the Mississippi River. He forgot the majesty

of the dreams that sometimes came to him, and only remembered the swarms

of flies that, attracted by the filth of their clothes, hovered over him

and over the drunken father who lay sleeping beside him.

A lump arose in his throat and for a moment he was consumed with

self-pity. Then he went out of the wood, crossed the field, and with

his peculiar, long, shambling gait that got him over the ground with

surprising rapidity, went again along the road. Had there been a stream

nearby he would have been tempted to tear off his clothes and plunge

in. The notion that he could ever become a man who would in any way be

attractive to a woman like Clara Butterworth seemed the greatest folly

in the world. “She's a lady. What would she be wanting of me? I ain't

fitten for her. I ain't fitten for her,” he said aloud, unconsciously

falling into the dialect of his father.

Hugh walked the entire afternoon away and in the evening went back to

his shop and worked until midnight. So energetically did he work that

several knotty problems in the construction of the hay-loading apparatus

were cleared away.

On the second evening after the encounter with Clara, Hugh went for a

walk in the streets of Bidwell. He thought of the work on which he had

been engaged all day and then of the woman he had made up his mind he

could under no circumstances win. As darkness came on he went into

the country, and at nine returned along the railroad tracks past the

corn-cutter factory. The factory was working day and night, and the new

plant, also beside the tracks and but a short distance away, was almost

completed. Behind the new plant was a field Tom Butterworth and Steve

Hunter had bought and laid out in streets of workingmen's houses. The

houses were cheaply constructed and ugly, and in all directions there

was a vast disorder; but Hugh did not see the disorder or the ugliness

of the buildings. The sight that lay before him strengthened his waning

vanity. Something of the loose shuffle went out of his stride and he

threw back his shoulders. “What I have done here amounts to something.

I'm all right,” he thought, and had almost reached the old corn-cutter

plant when several men came out of a side door and getting upon the

tracks, walked before him.

In the corn-cutter plant something had happened that excited the men.

Ed Hall the superintendent had played a trick on his fellow townsmen. He

had put on overalls and gone to work at a bench in a long room with some

fifty other men. “I'm going to show you up,” he said, laughing. “You

watch me. We're behind on the work and I'm going to show you up.”

The pride of the workmen had been touched, and for two weeks they had

worked like demons to outdo the boss. At night when the amount of

work done was calculated, they laughed at Ed. Then they heard that the

piece-work plan was to be installed in the factory, and were afraid they

would be paid by a scale calculated on the amount of work done during

the two weeks of furious effort.

The workman who stumbled along the tracks cursed Ed Hall and the men for

whom he worked. “I lost six hundred dollars in the plant-setting machine

failure and this is all I get, to be played a trick on by a young suck

like Ed Hall,” a voice grumbled. Another voice took up the refrain.

In the dim light Hugh could see the speaker, a man with a bent back, a

product of the cabbage fields, who had come to town to find employment.

Although he did not recognize it, he had heard the voice before. It came

from a son of the cabbage farmer, Ezra French and was the same voice he

had once heard complaining at night as the French boys crawled across a

cabbage field in the moonlight. The man now said something that startled

Hugh. “Well,” he declared, “it's a joke on me. I quit Dad and made him

sore; now he won't take me back again. He says I'm a quitter and no

good. I thought I'd come to town to a factory and find it easier here.

Now I've got married and have to stick to my job no matter what they

do. In the country I worked like a dog a few weeks a year, but here I'll

probably have to work like that all the time. It's the way things go. I

thought it was mighty funny, all this talk about the factory work being

so easy. I wish the old days were back. I don't see how that inventor or

his inventions ever helped us workers. Dad was right about him. He said

an inventor wouldn't do nothing for workers. He said it would be better

to tar and feather that telegraph operator. I guess Dad was right.”

The swagger went out of Hugh's walk and he stopped to let the men pass

out of sight and hearing along the track. When they had gone a little

away a quarrel broke out. Each man felt the others must be in some way

responsible for his betrayal in the matter of the contest with Ed Hall

and accusations flew back and forth. One of the men threw a heavy stone

that ran down along the tracks and jumped into a ditch filled with

dry weeds. It made a heavy crashing sound. Hugh heard heavy footsteps

running. He was afraid the men were going to attack him, and climbed

over a fence, crossed a barnyard, and got into an empty street. As he

went along trying to understand what had happened and why the men were

angry, he met Clara Butterworth, standing and apparently waiting for him

under a street lamp.

* * * * *

Hugh walked beside Clara, too perplexed to attempt to understand the new

impulses crowding in upon his mind. She explained her presence in the

street by saying she had been to town to mail a letter and intended

walking home by a side road. “You may come with me if you're just

out for a walk,” she said. The two walked in silence. Hugh's mind,

unaccustomed to traveling in wide circles, centered on his companion.

Life seemed suddenly to be crowding him along strange roads. In two

days he had felt more new emotions and had felt them more deeply than he

would have thought possible to a human being. The hour through which

he had just passed had been extraordinary. He had started out from his

boarding-house sad and depressed. Then he had come by the factories and

pride in what he thought he had accomplished swept in on him. Now it

was apparent the workers in the factories were not happy, that there was

something the matter. He wondered if Clara would know what was wrong

and would tell him if he asked. He wanted to ask many questions. “That's

what I want a woman for. I want some one close to me who understands

things and will tell me about them,” he thought. Clara remained silent

and Hugh decided that she, like the complaining workman stumbling along

the tracks, did not like him. The man had said he wished Hugh had never

come to town. Perhaps every one in Bidwell secretly felt that way.

Hugh was no longer proud of himself and his achievements. Perplexity had

captured him. When he and Clara got out of town into a country road, he

began thinking of Sarah Shepard, who had been friendly and kind to him

when he was a lad, and wished she were with him, or better yet that

Clara would take the attitude toward him she had taken. Had Clara taken

it into her head to scold as Sarah Shepard had done he would have been

relieved.

Instead Clara walked in silence, thinking of her own affairs and

planning to use Hugh for her own ends. It had been a perplexing day

for her. Late that afternoon there had been a scene between her and

her father and she had left home and come to town because she could no

longer bear being in his presence. When she had seen Hugh coming toward

her she had stopped under a street lamp to wait for him. “I could set

everything straight by getting him to ask me to marry him,” she thought.

The new difficulty that had arisen between Clara and her father was

something with which she had nothing to do. Tom, who thought himself so

shrewd and crafty, had been taken in by the city man, Alfred Buckley. A

federal officer had come to town during the afternoon to arrest Buckley.

The man had turned out to be a notorious swindler wanted in several

cities. In New York he had been one of a gang who distributed

counterfeit money, and in other states he was wanted for swindling

women, two of whom he married unlawfully.

The arrest had been like a shot fired at Tom by a member of his own

household. He had almost come to think of Alfred Buckley as one of his

family, and as he drove rapidly along the road toward home, he had been

profoundly sorry for his daughter and had intended to ask her to forgive

him for his part in betraying her into a false position. That he had

not openly committed himself to any of Buckley's schemes, had signed no

papers and written no letters that would betray the conspiracy he had

entered into against Steve, filled him with joy. He had intended to be

generous, and even, if necessary, confess to Clara his indiscretion in

talking of a possible marriage, but when he got to the farm house and

had taken Clara into the parlor and had closed the door, he changed

his mind. He told her of Buckley's arrest, and then started tramping

excitedly up and down in the room. Her coolness infuriated him. “Don't

set there like a clam!” he shouted. “Don't you know what's happened?

Don't you know you're disgraced, have brought disgrace on my name?”

The angry father explained that half the town knew of her engagement to

marry Alfred Buckley, and when Clara declared they were not engaged and

that she had never intended marrying the man, his anger did not abate.

He had himself whispered the suggestion about town, had told Steve

Hunter, Gordon Hart, and two or three others, that Alfred Buckley and

his daughter would no doubt do what he spoke of as “hitting it off,” and

they had of course told their wives. The fact that he had betrayed his

daughter into an ugly position gnawed at his consciousness. “I suppose

the rascal told it himself,” he said, in reply to her statement, and

again gave way to anger. He glared at his daughter and wished she were

a son so he could strike with his fists. His voice arose to a shout and

could be heard in the barnyard where Jim Priest and a young farm

hand were at work. They stopped work and listened. “She's been up to

something. Do you suppose some man has got her in trouble?” the young

farm hand asked.

In the house Tom expressed his old dissatisfaction with his daughter.

“Why haven't you married and settled down like a decent woman?” he

shouted. “Tell me that. Why haven't you married and settled down? Why

are you always getting in trouble? Why haven't you married and settled

down?”

* * * * *

Clara walked in the road beside Hugh and thought that all her troubles

would come to an end if he would ask her to be his wife. Then she

became ashamed of her thoughts. As they passed the last street lamp and

prepared to set out by a roundabout way along a dark road, she turned

to look at Hugh's long, serious face. The tradition that had made him

appear different from other men in the eyes of the people of Bidwell

began to affect her. Ever since she had come home she had been hearing

people speak of him with something like awe in their voices. For her to

marry the town's hero would, she knew, set her on a high place in the

eyes of her people. It would be a triumph for her and would re-establish

her, not only in her father's eyes but in the eyes of every one. Every

one seemed to think she should marry; even Jim Priest had said so. He

had said she was the marrying kind. Here was her chance. She wondered

why she did not want to take it.

Clara had written her friend Kate Chanceller a letter in which she had

declared her intention of leaving home and going to work, and had come

to town afoot to mail it. On Main Street as she went through the crowds

of men who had come to loaf the evening away before the stores, the

force of what her father had said concerning the connection of her name

with that of Buckley the swindler had struck her for the first time. The

men were gathered together in groups, talking excitedly. No doubt they

were discussing Buckley's arrest. Her own name was, no doubt, being

bandied about. Her cheeks burned and a keen hatred of mankind had

possession of her. Now her hatred of others awoke in her an almost

worshipful attitude toward Hugh. By the time they had walked together

for five minutes all thought of using him to her own ends had gone.

“He's not like Father or Henderson Woodburn or Alfred Buckley,” she told

herself. “He doesn't scheme and twist things about trying to get the

best of some one else. He works, and because of his efforts things are

accomplished.” The figure of the farm hand Jim Priest working in a field

of corn came to her mind. “The farm hand works,” she thought, “and the

corn grows. This man sticks to his task in his shop and makes a town

grow.”

In her father's presence during the afternoon Clara had remained calm

and apparently indifferent to his tirade. In town in the presence of the

men she was sure were attacking her character, she had been angry, ready

to fight. Now she wanted to put her head on Hugh's shoulder and cry.

They came to the bridge near where the road turned and led to her

father's house. It was the same bridge to which she had come with the

school teacher and to which John May had followed, looking for a fight.

Clara stopped. She did not want any one at the house to know that Hugh

had walked home with her. “Father is so set on my getting married, he

would go to see him to-morrow,” she thought. She put her arms upon the

rail of the bridge and bending over buried her face between them. Hugh

stood behind her, turning his head from side to side and rubbing his

hands on his trouser legs, beside himself with embarrassment. There was

a flat, swampy field beside the road and not far from the bridge, and

after a moment of silence the voices of a multitude of frogs broke the

stillness. Hugh became overwhelmingly sad. The notion that he was a big

man and deserved to have a woman to live with and understand him went

entirely away. For the moment he wanted to be a boy and put his head on

the shoulder of the woman. He did not look at Clara but at himself.

In the dim light his hands, nervously fumbling about, his long,

loosely-put-together body, everything connected with his person, seemed

ugly and altogether unattractive. He could see the woman's small firm

hands that lay on the railing of the bridge. They were, he thought, like

everything connected with her person, shapely and beautiful, just as

everything connected with his own person was unshapely and ugly.

Clara aroused herself from the meditative mood that had taken possession

of her, and after shaking Hugh's hand and explaining that she did not

want him to go further went away. When he thought she had quite gone she

came back. “You'll hear I was engaged to that Alfred Buckley who has got

into trouble and has been arrested,” she said. Hugh did not reply and

her voice became sharp and a little challenging. “You'll hear we were

going to be married. I don't know what you'll hear. It's a lie,” she

said and turning, hurried away.

Poor White: A Novel · 第 14 / 23 章