“And, for the book of knowledge fair,
Presented with an universal blank
Of Nature’s works, to me expunged and rased.”
Unfortunately _for me_, the rebellion in Ireland was soon quelled; the
nightly scouring of our county ceased; the poor people returned to
their duty and their homes; the occupation of upstart and ignorant
_associators_ ceased, and their consequence sunk at once. Things
and persons settled to their natural level. The influence of men of
property, and birth, and education, and character, once more prevailed.
The spirit of party ceased to operate: my neighbours wakened, as if from
a dream, and wondered at the strange injustice with which I had been
treated. Those who had lately been my combined enemies were disunited,
and each was eager to assure me that he had _always been privately
my friend_, but that he was compelled to conceal his sentiments: each
exculpated himself, and threw the blame on others: all apologized to me,
and professed to be my most devoted humble servants. My popularity, my
power, and my prosperity were now at their zenith, _unfortunately for
me;_ because my adversity had not lasted long enough to form and season
my character. I had been driven to exertion by a mixture of pride and
generosity; my understanding being uncultivated, I had acted from the
virtuous impulse of the moment, but never from rational motive, which
alone can be permanent in its operation. When the spur of the occasion
pressed upon me no longer, I relapsed into my former inactivity. When
the great interests and strong passions, by which I had been impelled
to exertion, subsided, all other feelings, and all less objects, seemed
stale, flat, and unprofitable. For the tranquillity which I was now left
to enjoy I had no taste; it appeared to me a dead calm, most spiritless
and melancholy.
I remember hearing, some years afterwards, a Frenchman, who had been in
imminent danger of been guillotined by Robespierre, and who at last was
one of those who arrested the tyrant, declare, that when the bustle and
horror of the revolution were over, he could hardly keep himself awake;
and that he thought it very insipid to live in quiet with his wife and
family. He further summed up the catalogue of Robespierre’s crimes,
by exclaiming, “D’ailleurs c’étoit un grand philanthrope!” I am not
conscious of any disposition to cruelty, and I heard this man’s speech
with disgust; yet upon a candid self-examination, I must confess, that
I have felt, though from different causes, some degree of what he
described. Perhaps _ennui_ may have had a share in creating revolutions.
A French author pronounces ennui to be “a moral indigestion, caused by a
monotony of situations!”
I had no wife or family to make domestic life agreeable: nor was I
inclined to a second marriage, my first had proved so unfortunate, and
the recollection of my disappointment with Lady Geraldine was so
recent. Even the love of power no longer acted upon me: my power was
now undisputed. My jealousy and suspicions of my agent, Mr. M’Leod,
were about this time completely conquered, by his behaviour at a general
election. I perceived that he had no underhand design upon my boroughs;
and that he never attempted or wished to interfere in my affairs,
except at my particular desire. My confidence in him became absolute
and unbounded; but this was really a misfortune to me, for it became the
cause of my having still less to do. I gave up all business, and
from all manner of trouble I was now free: yet I became more and more
unhappy, and my nervous complaints returned. I was not aware that I was
taking the very means to increase my own disease. The philosophical Dr.
Cullen observes, that “whatever aversion to application of any kind may
appear in hypochondriacs, there is nothing more pernicious to them than
absolute idleness, or a vacancy from all earnest pursuit. It is owing to
wealth admitting of indolence, and leading to the pursuit of transitory
and unsatisfying amusements, or exhausting pleasures only, that the
present times exhibit to us so many instances of hypochondriacism.”
I fancied that change of air and change of place would do me good; and,
as it was fine summer weather, I projected various parties of pleasure.
The Giants’ Causeway, and the Lake of Killarney, were the only things I
had ever heard mentioned as worth seeing in Ireland. I suffered myself
to be carried into the county of Antrim, and I saw the Giants’ Causeway.
From the description given by Dr. Hamilton of some of these wonders of
nature, the reader may judge how much I _ought_ to have been astonished
and delighted.
In the bold promontory of Bengore, you behold, as you look up from
the sea, a gigantic colonnade of basaltes, supporting a black mass of
irregular rock, over which rises another range of pillars, “forming
altogether a perpendicular height of one hundred and seventy feet, from
the base of which the promontory, covered over with rock and grass,
slopes down to the sea, for the space of two hundred feet more: making,
in all, a mass of near four hundred feet in height, which, in the beauty
and variety of its colouring, in elegance and novelty of arrangement,
and in the extraordinary magnificence of its objects, cannot be
rivalled.”
Yet I was seized with a fit of yawning, as I sat in my pleasure-boat,
to admire this sublime spectacle. I looked at my watch, observed that
we should be late for dinner, and grew impatient to be rowed back to the
place where we were to dine; not that I was hungry, but I wanted to be
again set in motion. Neither science nor taste expanded my view; and I
saw nothing worthy of my admiration, or capable of giving me pleasure.
The watching a straw floating down the tide was the only amusement I
recollect to have enjoyed upon this excursion.
I was assured, however, by Lady Ormsby, that I could not help being
enchanted with the Lake of Killarney. The party was arranged by this
lady, who, having the preceding summer seen me captivated by Lady
Geraldine, and pitying my disappointment, had formed the obliging design
of restoring my spirits, and marrying me to one of her near relatives.
She calculated, that as I had been charmed by Lady Geraldine’s vivacity,
I must be enchanted with the fine spirits of Lady Jocunda Lawler. So far
were the thoughts of marriage from my imagination, that I only was sorry
to find a young lady smuggled into our party, because I was afraid
she would be troublesome: but I resolved to be quite passive upon all
occasions, where attentions to the fair sex are sometimes expected. My
arm, or my hand, or my assistance, in any manner, I was determined not
to offer: the lounging indifference which some fashionable young
men affect towards ladies, I really felt; and, besides, nobody minds
unmarried women! This fashion was _most convenient to my indolence. In
my state of torpor I was_ not, however, long left in peace. Lady Jocunda
was a high-bred romp, who made it a rule to say and do whatever she
pleased. In a hundred indirect ways I was called upon to admire her
charming spirits: but the rattling voice, loud laughter, flippant wit,
and hoyden gaiety, of Lady Jocunda, disgusted me beyond expression. A
thousand times on my journey I wished myself quietly asleep in my own
castle. Arrived at Killarney, such blowing of horns, such boating, such
seeing of prospects, such prosing of guides, all telling us what to
admire! Then such exclamations, and such clambering! I was walked and
talked till I was half-dead. I wished the rocks, and the hanging-woods,
and the glens, and the water-falls, and the arbutus, and the myrtles,
and the upper and lower lakes, and the islands, and Mucruss, and Mucruss
Abbey, and the purple mountain, and the eagle’s nest, and the Grand
Turk, and the lights and the shades, and the echoes, and, above all, the
Lady Jocunda, fairly at the devil.
A nobleman in the neighbourhood had the politeness to invite us to see a
stag-hunt upon the water. The account of this diversion, which I had met
with in my Guide to the Lakes,[83] promised well. I consented to stay
another day: that day I really was revived by this spectacle, for it was
new. The sublime and the beautiful had no charms for me: novelty was the
only power that could waken me from my lethargy; perhaps there was in
this spectacle something more than novelty. The Romans had recourse
to shows of wild beasts and gladiators to relieve their ennui. At all
events, I was kept awake this whole morning, though I cannot say that I
felt in _such ecstasies as to be in any imminent danger of jumping out
of the boat_.
_Of our journey back from Killarney I remember nothing, but_ my being
discomfited by Lady Jocunda’s practical jests and overpowering gaiety.
When she addressed herself to me, my answers were as constrained and
as concise as possible; and, as I was afterwards told, I seemed, at the
close of my reply to each interrogative of her ladyship’s, to answer
with Odin’s prophetess,
“Now my weary lips I close;
Leave me, leave me to repose.”
This she never did till we parted; and, at that moment, I believe, my
satisfaction appeared so visible, that Lady Ormsby gave up all hopes of
me. Arrived at my own castle, I threw myself on my bed quite exhausted.
I took three hours’ additional sleep every day for a week, to recruit my
strength, and rest my nerves, after all that I had been made to suffer
by this young lady’s prodigious animal spirits.