CHAPTER XXIX

Although it blew hard when Caesar crossed the Rubicon, the passage of

that river is commonly calm; calm as Acheron. So long as he gets his

fare, the ferryman does not need to be told whom he carries: he pulls

with a will, and heroes may be over in half-an-hour. Only when they

stand on the opposite bank, do they see what a leap they have taken. The

shores they have relinquished shrink to an infinite remoteness. There

they have dreamed: here they must act. There lie youth and irresolution:

here manhood and purpose. They are veritably in another land: a moral

Acheron divides their life. Their memories scarce seem their own! The

Philosophical Geography (about to be published) observes that each man

has, one time or other, a little Rubicon--a clear or a foul water to

cross. It is asked him: "Wilt thou wed this Fate, and give up all behind

thee?" And "I will," firmly pronounced, speeds him over. The above-

named manuscript authority informs us, that by far the greater number of

caresses rolled by this heroic flood to its sister stream below, are

those of fellows who have repented their pledge, and have tried to swim

back to the bank they have blotted out. For though every man of us may

be a hero for one fatal minute, very few remain so after a day's march

even: and who wonders that Madam Fate is indignant, and wears the

features of the terrible Universal Fate to him? Fail before her, either

in heart or in act, and lo, how the alluring loves in her visage wither

and sicken to what it is modelled on! Be your Rubicon big or small,

clear or foul, it is the same: you shall not return. On--or to Acheron!-

-I subscribe to that saying of The Pilgrim's Scrip:

"The danger of a little knowledge of things is disputable: but beware the

little knowledge of one's self!"

Richard Feverel was now crossing the River of his Ordeal. Already the

mists were stealing over the land he had left: his life was cut in two,

and he breathed but the air that met his nostrils. His father, his

father's love, his boyhood and ambition, were shadowy. His poetic dreams

had taken a living attainable shape. He had a distincter impression of

the Autumnal Berry and her household than of anything at Raynham. And

yet the young man loved his father, loved his home: and I daresay Caesar

loved Rome: but whether he did or no, Caesar when he killed the Republic

was quite bald, and the hero we are dealing with is scarce beginning to

feel his despotic moustache. Did he know what he was made of?

Doubtless, nothing at all. But honest passion has an instinct that can

be safer than conscious wisdom. He was an arrow drawn to the head,

flying from the bow. His audacious mendacities and subterfuges did not

strike him as in any way criminal; for he was perfectly sure that the

winning and securing of Lucy would in the end be boisterously approved

of, and in that case, were not the means justified? Not that he took

trouble to argue thus, as older heroes and self-convicting villains are

in the habit of doing; to deduce a clear conscience. Conscience and Lucy

went together.

It was a soft fair day. The Rubicon sparkled in the morning sun. One of

those days when London embraces the prospect of summer, and troops forth

all its babies. The pavement, the squares, the parks, were early alive

with the cries of young Britain. Violet and primrose girls, and organ

boys with military monkeys, and systematic bands very determined in tone

if not in tune, filled the atmosphere, and crowned the blazing procession

of omnibuses, freighted with business men, Cityward, where a column of

reddish brown smoke,--blown aloft by the South-west, marked the scene of

conflict to which these persistent warriors repaired. Richard had seen

much of early London that morning. His plans were laid. He had taken

care to ensure his personal liberty against accidents, by leaving his

hotel and his injured uncle Hippias at sunrise. To-day or to-morrow his

father was to arrive. Farmer Blaize, Tom Bakewell reported to him, was

raging in town. Another day and she might be torn from him: but to-day

this miracle of creation would be his, and then from those glittering

banks yonder, let them summon him to surrender her who dared! The

position of things looked so propitious that he naturally thought the

powers waiting on love conspired in his behalf. And she, too--since she

must cross this river, she had sworn to him to be brave, and do him

honour, and wear the true gladness of her heart in her face. Without a

suspicion of folly in his acts, or fear of results, Richard strolled into

Kensington Gardens, breakfasting on the foreshadow of his great joy, now

with a vision of his bride, now of the new life opening to him. Mountain

masses of clouds, rounded in sunlight, swung up the blue. The flowering

chestnut pavilions overhead rustled and hummed. A sound in his ears as

of a banner unfolding in the joyful distance lulled him.

He was to meet his bride at the church at a quarter past eleven. His

watch said a quarter to ten. He strolled on beneath the long-stemmed

trees toward the well dedicated to a saint obscure. Some people were

drinking at the well. A florid lady stood by a younger one, who had a

little silver mug half-way to her mouth, and evinced undisguised dislike

to the liquor of the salutary saint.

"Drink, child!" said the maturer lady. "That is only your second mug. I

insist upon your drinking three full ones every morning we're in town.

Your constitution positively requires iron!"

"But, mama," the other expostulated, "it's so nasty. I shall be sick."

"Drink!" was the harsh injunction. "Nothing to the German waters, my

dear. Here, let me taste." She took the mug and gave it a flying kiss.

"I declare I think it almost nice--not at all objectionable. Pray, taste

it," she said to a gentleman standing below them to act as cup-bearer.

An unmistakable cis-Rubicon voice replied: "Certainly, if it's good

fellowship; though I confess I don't think mutual sickness a very

engaging ceremony."

Can one never escape from one's relatives? Richard ejaculated inwardly.

Without a doubt those people were Mrs. Doria, Clare, and Adrian. He had

them under his eyes.

Clare, peeping up from her constitutional dose to make sure no man was

near to see the possible consequence of it, was the first to perceive

him. Her hand dropped.

"Now, pray, drink, and do not fuss!" said Mrs. Doria.

"Mama!" Clare gasped.

Richard came forward and capitulated honourably, since retreat was out of

the question. Mrs. Doria swam to meet him: "My own boy! My dear

Richard!" profuse of exclamations. Clare shyly greeted him. Adrian kept

in the background.

"Why, we were coming for you to-day, Richard," said Mrs. Doria, smiling

effusion; and rattled on, "We want another cavalier. This is delightful!

My dear nephew! You have grown from a boy to a man. And there's down on

his lip! And what brings you here at such an hour in the morning?

Poetry, I suppose! Here, take my, arm, child.--Clare! finish that mug

and thank your cousin for sparing you the third. I always bring her,

when we are by a chalybeate, to take the waters before breakfast. We

have to get up at unearthly hours. Think, my dear boy! Mothers are

sacrifices! And so you've been alone a fortnight with your agreeable

uncle! A charming time of it you must have had! Poor Hippias! what may

be his last nostrum?"

"Nephew!" Adrian stretched his head round to the couple. "Doses of

nephew taken morning and night fourteen days! And he guarantees that it

shall destroy an iron constitution in a month."

Richard mechanically shook Adrian's hand as he spoke.

"Quite well, Ricky?"

"Yes: well enough," Richard answered.

"Well?" resumed his vigorous aunt, walking on with him, while Clare and

Adrian followed. "I really never saw you looking so handsome. There's

something about your face--look at me--you needn't blush. You've grown

to an Apollo. That blue buttoned-up frock coat becomes you admirably--

and those gloves, and that easy neck-tie. Your style is irreproachable,

quite a style of your own! And nothing eccentric. You have the instinct

of dress. Dress shows blood, my dear boy, as much as anything else.

Boy!--you see, I can't forget old habits. You were a boy when I left,

and now!--Do you see any change in him, Clare?" she turned half round to

her daughter.

"Richard is looking very well, mama," said Clare, glancing at him under

her eyelids.

"I wish I could say the same of you, my dear.--Take my arm, Richard. Are

you afraid of your aunt? I want to get used to you. Won't it be

pleasant, our being all in town together in the season? How fresh the

Opera will be to you! Austin, I hear, takes stalls. You can come to the

Forey's box when you like. We are staying with the Foreys close by here.

I think it's a little too far out, you know; but they like the

neighbourhood. This is what I have always said: Give him more liberty!

Austin has seen it at last. How do you think Clare looking?"

The question had to be repeated. Richard surveyed his cousin hastily,

and praised her looks.

"Pale!" Mrs. Doria sighed.

"Rather pale, aunt."

"Grown very much--don't you think, Richard?"

"Very tall girl indeed, aunt."

"If she had but a little more colour, my dear Richard! I'm sure I give

her all the iron she can swallow, but that pallor still continues. I

think she does not prosper away from her old companion. She was

accustomed to look up to you, Richard"--

"Did you get Ralph's letter, aunt?" Richard interrupted her.

"Absurd!" Mrs. Doria pressed his arm. "The nonsense of a boy! Why did

you undertake to forward such stuff?"

"I'm certain he loves her," said Richard, in a serious way.

The maternal eyes narrowed on him. "Life, my dear Richard, is a game of

cross-purposes," she observed, dropping her fluency, and was rather

angered to hear him laugh. He excused himself by saying that she spoke

so like his father.

"You breakfast with us," she freshened off again. "The Foreys wish to

see you; the girls are dying to know you. Do you know, you have a

reputation on account of that"--she crushed an intruding adjective--

"System you were brought up on. You mustn't mind it. For my part, I

think you look a credit to it. Don't be bashful with young women, mind!

As much as you please with the old ones. You know how to behave among

men. There you have your Drawing-room Guide! I'm sure I shall be proud

of you. Am I not?"

Mrs. Doria addressed his eyes coaxingly.

A benevolent idea struck Richard, that he might employ the minutes to

spare, in pleading the case of poor Ralph; and, as he was drawn along, he

pulled out his watch to note the precise number of minutes he could

dedicate to this charitable office.

"Pardon me," said Mrs. Doria. "You want manners, my dear boy. I think

it never happened to me before that a man consulted his watch in my

presence."

Richard mildly replied that he had an engagement at a particular hour, up

to which he was her servant.

"Fiddlededee!" the vivacious lady sang. "Now I've got you, I mean to

keep you. Oh! I've heard all about you. This ridiculous indifference

that your father makes so much of! Why, of course, you wanted to see the

world! A strong healthy young man shut up all his life in a lonely

house--no friends, no society, no amusements but those of rustics! Of

course you were indifferent! Your intelligence and superior mind alone

saved you from becoming a dissipated country boor.--Where are the

others?"

Clare and Adrian came up at a quick pace.

"My damozel dropped something," Adrian explained.

Her mother asked what it was.

"Nothing, mama," said Clare, demurely, and they proceeded as before.

Overborne by his aunt's fluency of tongue, and occupied in acute

calculation of the flying minutes, Richard let many pass before he edged

in a word for Ralph. When he did, Mrs. Doria stopped him immediately.

"I must tell you, child, that I refuse to listen to such rank idiotcy."

"It's nothing of the kind, aunt."

"The fancy of a boy."

"He's not a boy. He's half-a-year older than I am!"

"You silly child! The moment you fall in love, you all think yourselves

men."

"On my honour, aunt! I believe he loves her thoroughly."

"Did he tell you so, child?"

"Men don't speak openly of those things," said Richard.

"Boys do," said Mrs. Doria.

"But listen to me in earnest, aunt. I want you to be kind to Ralph.

Don't drive him to--You maybe sorry for it. Let him--do let him write to

her, and see her. I believe women are as cruel as men in these things."

"I never encourage absurdity, Richard."

"What objection have you to Ralph, aunt?"

"Oh, they're both good families. It's not that absurdity, Richard. It

will be to his credit to remember that his first fancy wasn't a

dairymaid." Mrs. Doria pitched her accent tellingly. It did not touch

her nephew.

"Don't you want Clare ever to marry?" He put the last point of reason to

her.

Mrs. Doria laughed. "I hope so, child. We must find some comfortable

old gentleman for her."

"What infamy!" mutters Richard.

"And I engage Ralph shall be ready to dance at her wedding, or eat a

hearty breakfast--We don't dance at weddings now, and very properly.

It's a horrid sad business, not to be treated with levity.--Is that his

regiment?" she said, as they passed out of the hussar-sentinelled

gardens. "Tush, tush, child! Master Ralph will recover, as--hem! others

have done. A little headache--you call it heartache--and up you rise

again, looking better than ever. No doubt, to have a grain of sense

forced into your brains, you poor dear children! must be painful.. Girls

suffer as much as boys, I assure you. More, for their heads are weaker,

and their appetites less constant. Do I talk like your father now?

Whatever makes the boy fidget at his watch so?"

Richard stopped short. Time spoke urgently.

"I must go," he said.

His face did not seem good for trifling. Mrs. Doria would trifle in

spite.

"Listen, Clare! Richard is going. He says he has an engagement. What

possible engagement can a young man have at eleven o'clock in the

morning?--unless it's to be married!" Mrs. Doria laughed at the

ingenuity of her suggestion.

"Is the church handy, Ricky?" said Adrian. "You can still give us half-

an-hour if it is. The celibate hours strike at Twelve." And he also

laughed in his fashion.

"Won't you stay with us, Richard?" Clare asked. She blushed timidly, and

her voice shook.

Something indefinite--a sharp-edged thrill in the tones made the burning

bridegroom speak gently to her.

"Indeed, I would, Clare; I should like to please you, but I have a most

imperative appointment--that is, I promised--I must go. I shall see you

again"--

Mrs. Doria, took forcible possession of him. "Now, do come, and don't

waste words. I insist upon your having some breakfast first, and then,

if you really must go, you shall. Look! there's the house. At least you

will accompany your aunt to the door."

Richard conceded this. She little imagined what she required of him.

Two of his golden minutes melted into nothingness. They were growing to

be jewels of price, one by one more and more precious as they ran, and

now so costly-rare--rich as his blood! not to kindest relations, dearest

friends, could he give another. The die is cast! Ferryman! push off.

"Good-bye!" he cried, nodding bluffly at the three as one, and fled.

They watched his abrupt muscular stride through the grounds of the house.

He looked like resolution on the march. Mrs. Doria, as usual with her

out of her brother's hearing, began rating the System.

"See what becomes of that nonsensical education! The boy really does not

know how to behave like a common mortal. He has some paltry appointment,

or is mad after some ridiculous idea of his own, and everything must be

sacrificed to it! That's what Austin calls concentration of the

faculties. I think it's more likely to lead to downright insanity than

to greatness of any kind. And so I shall tell Austin. It's time he

should be spoken to seriously about him."

"He's an engine, my dear aunt," said Adrian. "He isn't a boy, or a man,

but an engine. And he appears to have been at high pressure since he

came to town--out all day and half the night."

"He's mad!" Mrs. Doria interjected.

"Not at all. Extremely shrewd is Master Ricky, and carries as open an

eye ahead of him as the ships before Troy. He's more than a match for

any of us. He is for me, I confess."

"Then," said Mrs. Doria, "he does astonish me!"

Adrian begged her to retain her astonishment till the right season, which

would not be long arriving.

Their common wisdom counselled them not to tell the Foreys of their

hopeful relative's ungracious behaviour. Clare had left them. When Mrs.

Doria went to her room her daughter was there, gazing down at something

in her hand, which she guiltily closed.

In answer to an inquiry why she had not gone to take off her things,

Clare said she was not hungry. Mrs. Doria lamented the obstinacy of a

constitution that no quantity of iron could affect, and eclipsed the

looking-glass, saying: "Take them off here, child, and learn to assist

yourself."

She disentangled her bonnet from the array of her spreading hair, talking

of Richard, and his handsome appearance, and extraordinary conduct.

Clare kept opening and shutting her hand, in an attitude half-pensive,

half-listless. She did not stir to undress. A joyless dimple hung in

one pale cheek, and she drew long even breaths.

Mrs. Doria, assured by the glass that she was ready to show, came to her

daughter.

"Now, really," she said, "you are too helpless, my dear. You cannot do a

thing without a dozen women at your elbow. What will become of you? You

will have to marry a millionaire.--What's the matter with you, child?"

Clare undid her tight-shut fingers, as if to some attraction of her eyes,

and displayed a small gold hoop on the palm of a green glove.

"A wedding-ring!" exclaimed Mrs. Doria, inspecting the curiosity most

daintily.

There on Clare's pale green glove lay a wedding-ring!

Rapid questions as to where, when, how, it was found, beset Clare, who

replied: "In the Gardens, mama. This morning. When I was walking behind

Richard."

"Are you sure he did not give it you, Clare?"

"Oh no, mama! he did not give it me."

"Of course not! only he does such absurd things!" Ithought, perhaps--

these boys are so exceedingly ridiculous!" Mrs. Doria had an idea that

it might have been concerted between the two young gentlemen, Richard and

Ralph, that the former should present this token of hymeneal devotion

from the latter to the young lady of his love; but a moment's reflection

exonerated boys even from such preposterous behaviour.

"Now, I wonder," she speculated on Clare's cold face, "I do wonder

whether it's lucky to find a wedding-ring. What very quick eyes you

have, my darling!" Mrs. Doria kissed her. She thought it must be lucky,

and the circumstance made her feel tender to her child. Her child did

not move to the kiss.

"Let's see whether it fits," said Mrs. Doria, almost infantine with

surprise and pleasure.

Clare suffered her glove to be drawn off. The ring slid down her long

thin finger, and settled comfortably.

"It does!" Mrs. Doria whispered. To find a wedding ring is open to any

woman; but to find a wedding-ring that fits may well cause a

superstitious emotion. Moreover, that it should be found while walking

in the neighbourhood of the identical youth whom a mother has destined

for her daughter, gives significance to the gentle perturbation of ideas

consequent on such a hint from Fortune.

"It really fits!" she pursued. "Now I never pay any attention to the

nonsense of omens and that kind of thing" (had the ring been a horseshoe

Mrs. Doria would have pinked it up and dragged it obediently home), "but

this, I must say, is odd--to find a ring that fits!--singular! It never

happened to me. Sixpence is the most I ever discovered, and I have it

now. Mind you keep it, Clare--this ring: And," she laughed, "offer it to

Richard when he comes; say, you think he must have dropped it."

The dimple in Clare's cheek quivered.

Mother and daughter had never spoken explicitly of Richard. Mrs. Doria,

by exquisite management, had contrived to be sure that on one side there

would be no obstacle to her project of general happiness, without, as she

thought, compromising her daughter's feelings unnecessarily. It could do

no harm to an obedient young girl to hear that there was no youth in the

world like a certain youth. He the prince of his generation, she might

softly consent, when requested, to be his princess; and if never

requested (for Mrs. Doria envisaged failure), she might easily transfer

her softness to squires of lower degree. Clare had always been blindly

obedient to her mother (Adrian called them Mrs. Doria Battledoria and the

fair Shuttlecockiana), and her mother accepted in this blind obedience

the text of her entire character. It is difficult for those who think

very earnestly for their children to know when their children are

thinking on their own account. The exercise of their volition we

construe as revolt. Our love does not like to be invalided and deposed

from its command, and here I think yonder old thrush on the lawn who has

just kicked the last of her lank offspring out of the nest to go shift

for itself, much the kinder of the two, though sentimental people do

shrug their shoulders at these unsentimental acts of the creatures who

never wander from nature. Now, excess of obedience is, to one who

manages most exquisitely, as bad as insurrection. Happily Mrs. Doria saw

nothing in her daughter's manner save a want of iron. Her pallor, her

lassitude, the tremulous nerves in her face, exhibited an imperious

requirement of the mineral.

"The reason why men and women are mysterious to us, and prove

disappointing," we learn from The Pilgrim's Scrip, "is, that we will read

them from our own book; just as we are perplexed by reading ourselves

from theirs."

Mrs. Doria read her daughter from her own book, and she was gay; she

laughed with Adrian at the breakfast-table, and mock-seriously joined in

his jocose assertion that Clare was positively and by all hymeneal

auspices betrothed to the owner of that ring, be he who he may, and must,

whenever he should choose to come and claim her, give her hand to him

(for everybody agreed the owner must be masculine, as no woman would drop

a wedding-ring), and follow him whither he listed all the world over.

Amiable giggling Forey girls called Clare, The Betrothed. Dark man, or

fair? was mooted. Adrian threw off the first strophe of Clare's fortune

in burlesque rhymes, with an insinuating gipsy twang. Her aunt Forey

warned her to have her dresses in readiness. Her grandpapa Forey

pretended to grumble at bridal presents being expected from grandpapas.

This one smelt orange-flower, another spoke solemnly of an old shoe. The

finding of a wedding-ring was celebrated through all the palpitating

accessories and rosy ceremonies involved by that famous instrument. In

the midst of the general hilarity, Clare showed her deplorable want of

iron by bursting into tears.

Did the poor mocked-at heart divine what might be then enacting?

Perhaps, dimly, as we say: that is, without eyes.

At an altar stand two fair young creatures, ready with their oaths. They

are asked to fix all time to the moment, and they do so. If there is

hesitation at the immense undertaking, it is but maidenly. She conceives

as little mental doubt of the sanity of the act as he. Over them hangs a

cool young curate in his raiment of office. Behind are two apparently

lucid people, distinguished from each other by sex and age: the foremost

a bunch of simmering black satin; under her shadow a cock-robin in the

dress of a gentleman, big joy swelling out his chest, and pert

satisfaction cocking his head. These be they who stand here in place of

parents to the young couple. All is well. The service proceeds.

Firmly the bridegroom tells forth his words. This hour of the complacent

giant at least is his, and that he means to hold him bound through the

eternities, men may hear. Clearly, and with brave modesty, speaks she:

no less firmly, though her body trembles: her voice just vibrating while

the tone travels on, like a smitten vase.

Time hears sentence pronounced on him: the frail hands bind his huge

limbs and lock the chains. He is used to it: he lets them do as they

will.

Then comes that period when they are to give their troth to each other.

The Man with his right hand takes the Woman by her right hand: the Woman

with her right hand takes the Man by his right hand.--Devils dare not

laugh at whom Angels crowd to contemplate.

Their hands are joined; their blood flows as one stream. Adam and fair

Eve front the generations. Are they not lovely? Purer fountains of life

were never in two bosoms.

And then they loose their hands, and the cool curate doth bid the Man to

put a ring on the Woman's fourth finger, counting thumb. And the Man

thrusts his hand into one pocket, and into another, forward and back many

times into all his pockets. He remembers that he felt for it, and felt

it in his waistcoat pocket, when in the Gardens. And his hand comes

forth empty. And the Man is ghastly to look at!

Yet, though Angels smile, shall not Devils laugh! The curate

deliberates. The black satin bunch ceases to simmer. He in her shadow

changes from a beaming cock-robin to an inquisitive sparrow. Eyes

multiply questions: lips have no reply. Time ominously shakes his chain,

and in the pause a sound of mockery stings their ears.

Think ye a hero is one to be defeated in his first battle? Look at the

clock! there are but seven minutes to the stroke of the celibate hours:

the veteran is surely lifting his two hands to deliver fire, and his shot

will sunder them in twain so nearly united. All the jewellers of London

speeding down with sacks full of the nuptial circlet cannot save them!

The battle must be won on the field, and what does the hero now? It is

an inspiration! For who else would dream of such a reserve in the rear?

None see what he does; only that the black-satin bunch is remonstratingly

agitated, stormily shaken, and subdued: and as though the menacing cloud

had opened, and dropped the dear token from the skies at his demand, he

produces the symbol of their consent, and the service proceeds: "With

this ring I thee wed."

They are prayed over and blest. For good, or for ill, this deed is done.

The names are registered; fees fly right and left: they thank, and

salute, the curate, whose official coolness melts into a smile of

monastic gallantry: the beadle on the steps waves off a gaping world as

they issue forth bridegroom and bridesman recklessly scatter gold on him:

carriage doors are banged to: the coachmen drive off, and the scene

closes, everybody happy.

The Ordeal of Richard Feverel — Volume 4 · 第 3 / 7 章