"Did the sponger send up them doctors yet?" said Morris with a far-away
look in his bloodshot eyes, as he entered his place of business at half
past seven one morning in March.
"Doctors?" Abe repeated. "What are you talking about--doctors?"
Morris snapped his fingers impatiently.
"Doctors! Hear me talk!" he cried. "I meant kerseys."
"Listen here, Mawruss," Abe suggested. "What's the use you monkeying
with business to-day? Why don't you go home?"
"Me, I don't take things so particular, Abe," Morris replied. "Time
enough when I got to go home, then I will go home."
"You could do what you please, Mawruss," Abe declared. "We ain't so busy
now that you couldn't be spared, y'understand. With spring weather like
we got it now, Mawruss, we could better sell arctic overshoes and
raincoats as try to get rid of our line already. I tell you the truth,
Mawruss, I ain't seen business so _schlecht_ since way before the
Spanish War already."
"We could always find _something_ to do, Abe," said Morris. "Why don't
you tell Miss Cohen to get out them statements which you was talking
about?"
"That's a good idee, Mawruss," Abe agreed. "Half the time we don't know
where we are at at all. Big concerns get out what they call a balancing
sheet every day yet, and we are lucky if we do it oncet a year already.
How long do you think it would take her to finish 'em up, Mawruss?"
The far-away look returned to Morris' eyes as he replied. "I am waiting
for a telephone every minute, Abe," he said.
Abe stared indignantly at his partner, then he took a cigar out of his
waistcoat pocket and handed it to Morris.
"Go and sit down and smoke this, Mawruss," he said. "Leon Sammet gives
it to me in the subway this morning, and if it's anything like them
souvenirs which he hands it out to his customers, it'll make you forget
your troubles, Mawruss. The last time I smoked one, I couldn't remember
nothing for a week."
Morris carefully cut off the end of Abe's gift with a penknife, but when
he struck a match the telephone bell rang sharply. Immediately he threw
the cigar and the lighted match to the floor and dashed wildly to the
firm's office.
"Do you got to burn the place up yet?" Abe cried, and after he had
extinguished the match with his foot, he followed his partner to the
office in time to view Morris' coat tails disappearing into the
elevator. For two minutes he stood still and shook his head slowly.
"Miss Cohen," he said at length, "get out them statements which I told
it you yesterday, and so soon you got the drawing account finished, let
me have it. I don't think Mr. Perlmutter will be back to-day, so you
would have lots of time to do it in."
It was almost two o'clock before Miss Cohen handed Abe the statement of
the firm's drawing account, and Abe thrust it into his breast pocket.
"I'm going out for a bite, Miss Cohen," he said. "If anybody wants me, I
am over at Hammersmith's and you could send Jake across for me."
He sighed heavily as he raised his umbrella and plunged out into a heavy
March downpour. It had been raining steadily for about a week to the
complete discouragement of garment buyers, and Hammersmith's rear cafe
sheltered a proportionately gloomy assemblage of cloak and suit
manufacturers. Abe glanced around him when he entered and selected a
table at which sat Sol Klinger, who was scowling at a portion of
Salisbury steak.
"Hallo, Sol," Abe cried. "What's the trouble. Ain't the oitermobile
running again?"
"Do me the favor, Abe," Sol replied, "and cut out them so called alleged
jokes."
He turned toward a waiter who was dusting off the tablecloth in front of
Abe.
"Max," he said, stabbing at the steak with a fork held at arm's length
and leaning back in his chair as though to avoid contagion. "What d'ye
call this here mess anyway?"
The waiter examined the dish critically and nodded his head.
"Sally's-bury steak, Mr. Klinger," he murmured. "Very nice to-day."
"Is that so?" Sol Klinger rejoined. "Well, lookyhere Max, if I would got
it a dawg which I wanted to get rid of bad, y'understand, I would feed
him that mess. But me, I ain't ready to die just yet awhile,
y'understand, even though business _is_ rotten, so you could take that
thing back to the cook and bring me a slice of roast beef; and if you
think I got all day to sit here, Max, and fool away my time----"
"Right away, Mr. Klinger, right away," Max cried as he hurried off the
offending dish, and once more Sol subsided into a melancholy silence.
"Don't take it so hard, Sol," Abe said. "We got bad weather like this
_schon_ lots of times yet, and none of us busted up. Ain't it?"
"The weather is nix, Abe," Sol replied. "If it's wet to-day then it's
fine to-morrow, and if a concern ain't buying goods now--all right.
They'll buy 'em later on. Ain't it? _But_, Abe, the partner which you
got it to-day, Abe, that's the same partner which you got it to-morrow,
and that sucker Klein, Abe, he eats me up with expenses. What that
feller does with his money, Abe, I don't know."
"Maybe he buys oitermobiles, Sol," Abe suggested.
"Supposing I did buy last spring an oitermobile, Abe," Sol retorted.
"That is the least. I bet yer that feller Klein spends enough on
taxicab rides for customers, and also one or two of 'em which she ain't
customers, as he could buy a _dozen_ oitermobiles already. No, Abe, that
ain't the point. The first year Klein and me goes as partners together,
he overdraws me two hundred and fifty dollars. _Schon gut._ If the
feller is a little extravagent, y'understand, he's got to make it up
next year."
Sol paused to investigate the roast beef which Max had brought, and
being apparently satisfied, he proceeded with his narrative.
"Next year, Abe," he continued, "Klein not only ain't made up the two
hundred and fifty, Abe, but he gets into me three hundred dollars more.
Well, business is good, y'understand, and so I don't kick and that's
where I am a great big fool, Abe, because every year since then, Abe,
that sucker goes on and on, until to-day our balance sheet shows I got
five thousand more invested in the business as Klein got it. And if I
would tell him we are no longer equal partners, Abe, he would go right
down to Henry D. Feldman, and to-morrow morning there would be a
receiver in the store."
Sol plunged his fork into the slice of roast beef as though it were
Klein himself, and he hacked at it so viciously that the gravy flew in
every direction.
"Max," he roared, clapping his handkerchief to his face, "what the devil
you are bringing me here--soup?"
It was at least five minutes before Sol had exhausted his stock of
profanity, and when at length the tablecloth was changed and Abe had
ministered to the front of his coat with a napkin dipped in water, Sol
ceased to upbraid the waiter and resumed his tirade against his partner.
"Yes, Abe," he said, "you are in luck. You got a partner, y'understand,
which he is a decent respectable feller. I bet yer Mawruss would no more
dream of overdrawing you, than he would fly in the air."
"Wait till they gets to be popular, Sol," Abe replied. "You could take
it from me, Sol, Mawruss would be the first one to buy one of them
airyplanes, just the same like he bought that oitermobile yet."
"That's all right," Sol said. "Mawruss is a good live partner. He sees
people round him--good, decent, respectable people, mind you--is buying
oitermobiles, Abe, and so he thinks he could buy one, too. There ain't
no harm in that, Abe, so long as he keeps inside his drawing account,
but so soon as one partner starts to take more as the other money out of
the business, Abe, then there is right away trouble. But certainly, Abe,
Mawruss wouldn't do nothing like that."
"Sure not," Abe replied, "because in the first place, Sol, he knows I
wouldn't stand for it, and in the second place, Mawruss ain't out to do
me, y'understand. I will say for Mawruss this, Sol. Of course a partner
is a partner, Sol, and the best of partners behaves like cut-throats at
times, but Mawruss was always white with me, Sol, and certainly I think
a whole lot of that feller. Just to show you, Sol, I got Miss Cohen to
fix it up for us a statement of our drawing account which I got it right
here in my breast pocket, and I ain't even looked at it at all, so sure
I am that everything is all O. K."
"I bet yer you overdrew _him_ yet," Sol observed.
"Me, I ain't such a big spender, Sol," Abe replied as he unfolded the
statement. "I don't even got to look at the statement, because I know we
drew just the same amount. Yes,--here it is Sol. Me, I drew six thousand
two hundred dollars, and Mawruss drew--six thousand two hundred and----.
_Well, what do you think for a sucker like that?_"
"Why, what's the matter, Abe?" Sol cried.
Abe's face had grown white and his eyes glittered with anger.
"That's a loafer for you!" he went on. "That feller actually pocketed
fifty-two dollars of my money."
"Fifty-two dollars?" Sol repeated. "What are you making such a fuss
about fifty-two dollars for?"
"With you I suppose fifty-two dollars is nothing, Sol?" Abe retorted. "I
suppose you could pick up fifty-two dollars in the streets, Sol. What?
Wait till I see that robber to-morrow. I'll fix him. Actually, I thought
that feller was above such things, Sol."
"Don't excite yourself, Abe," Sol began.
"I ain't excited, Sol," Abe replied. "I ain't a bit excited. All I
would do is I will go back to the store and draw a check for fifty-two
dollars. I wouldn't let that beat get ahead of me not for one cent, Sol.
If I would sit down with my eyes closed for five minutes, Sol, that
loafer would do me for my shirt. I must be on the job all the time, Sol,
otherwise that feller would have me on the streets yet."
For a quarter of an hour longer Abe reviled Morris, until Sol was moved
to protest.
"If I thought that way about my partner, Abe," he said, "I'd go right
down and see Feldman and have a dissolution yet."
"That's what I will do, Sol," Abe declared. "Why should I tie myself up
any longer with a cutthroat like that? I tell you what we'll do, Sol.
We'll go over to the store and see what else Miss Cohen found it out. I
bet you he rings in a whole lot of items on me with the petty cash while
I was away on the road."
Together they left Hammersmith's and repaired at once to Potash &
Perlmutter's place of business. As they entered the show-room Miss Cohen
emerged from her office with a sheet of paper in her hand.
"Mr. Potash," she said, "when you were in Chicago last fall you drew on
the firm for a hundred dollars, and by mistake I credited it to you on
your expense account. It ought to have been charged on your drawing
account. So that makes your total drawing account sixty-three hundred
dollars."
Abe stopped short and looked at Sol.
"What was that you said, Miss Cohen?" he asked.
"I said that I made a mistake in that statement, and you're overdrawn on
Mr. Perlmutter forty-eight dollars," Miss Cohen concluded.
"Then hurry up quick, Miss Cohen," Abe cried, "and draw a check in my
personal check book on the Kosciusko Bank to Potash & Perlmutter for
forty-eight dollars and see that it's deposited the first thing
to-morrow morning."
He handed Sol a cigar.
"Yes, Sol," he said, "if Mawruss would find it out that I am overdrawn
on him forty-eight dollars, he would abuse me like a pickpocket. That
feller never gives me credit for being square at all, Sol. I would be
afraid for my life if he would get on to that forty-eight dollars. Why,
the very first thing you know, Sol, he would be going around telling
everybody I was a crook and a cutthroat. That's the kind of feller
Mawruss is, Sol. I could treat him always like a gentleman, Sol, and if
the smallest little thing happens to us, 'sucker' is the least what he
calls me."
At this juncture the green baize doors leading into the hall burst open
and Morris himself leaped into the show-room. His necktie was perched
rakishly underneath his right ear, and his collar was of the moisture
and consistency of a used wash rag. His clothes were dripping, for he
carried no umbrella, and his hair hung in damp strands over his
forehead. Nevertheless he was grinning broadly, as without a word he ran
up to Abe and seized his hand. For two minutes Morris shook it up and
down and then he collapsed into the nearest chair.
"Well, Mawruss," Abe cried, "what's the matter? Couldn't you say
nothing? What did you come downtown again for? You should have stayed
uptown with Minnie."
"S'all right, Abe," Morris gasped. "S'all over, too. The doctor says
instead I should be making a nuisance of myself uptown, I would be
better off in the store here. He was there before I could get home."
"Who was there?" Abe asked. "The doctor?"
"_Not_ the doctor," Morris went on. "The boy was there. Minnie is doing
fine. The doctor said everything would be all right."
"That's good. That's good," Abe murmured.
"Y'oughter seen him, Abe. He weighed ten pounds," Morris continued. "I
bet yer he could holler, too,--like an auctioneer already. Minnie says
also I shouldn't forget to tell you what we agreed upon."
"What we agreed upon?" Abe repeated. "Why we ain't agreed upon nothing,
so far what I hear, Mawruss. What d'ye mean--what we agreed upon?"
"Not _you_ and me, Abe," Morris cried. "_Her_ and me. We agreed that if
it was a boy we'd call him Abraham P. Perlmutter already."
He slapped Abe on the back and laughed uproariously, while Abe looked
guilty and blushed a deep crimson.
"Abraham Potash Perlmutter," Morris reiterated. "That's one fine name,
Sol."
It was now Sol's turn to take Morris' hand and he squeezed it hard.
"I congradulate you for the boy and for the name both," he said.
Once more Abe seized his partner's hand and shook it rhythmically up and
down as though it were a patent exerciser.
"Mawruss," he said, "this is certainly something which I didn't expect
at all, and all I could say is that I got to tell you you would never be
sorry for it. Just a few minutes since in Hammersmith's I was telling
Sol I got a partner which it is a credit and an honor for a feller to
know he could always trust such a partner to do what is right and square
and also, Mawruss, I----Miss Cohen," he broke off suddenly, "you should
draw right away another check in my personal book for a hundred
dollars."
"To whose order?" Miss Cohen asked.
Abe cleared his throat and blinked away a slight moisture before
replying.
"Make it to the order of Abraham P. Perlmutter," he said, "and we will
deposit it in a savings bank, Mawruss, and when he comes twenty-one
years old, Mawruss, we will draw it out with anything else what you put
in there for him, Mawruss, and we will deposit it in our own bank to the
credit of _Potash, Perlmutter & Son_."
Sol Klinger's face spread into an amiable grin.
"You could put me down ten dollars on that savings bank account, too,
boys," he said as he reached for his hat. "I've got to be going now."
"Don't forget you should tell Klein it's a boy," Morris called to him.
"I wouldn't forget," Sol replied. "Klein'll be glad to hear it. You
know, Mawruss, Klein ain't such a grouch as most people think he is. In
fact, taking him all around, Klein is a pretty decent feller."
As he turned to leave, his eye met Abe's, and both of them smiled
guiltily.
"After all, Abe," Sol concluded, "it ain't what partners says about each
other, Abe, but how they _acts_ which counts. Ain't it?"
Abe nodded emphatically.
"An old saying but a true one," Morris declared. "Actions talk louder as
words."
THE END.
Transcriber's Notes
Several spelling and punctuation inconsistencies appear in the original
of this text. Punctuation has been changed when required for correct
syntax. Inconsistent spelling has been retained in direct speech for
pronunciation purposes and in quoted written material, but has been
changed as noted below.
Page 12 Changed "good-bye" to "good-by"
Page 39 Changed "recission" to "rescission"
Page 50 Changed "Lownstein" to "Lowenstein"
Page 135 Changed "dassent" to "dassen't"
Page 146 Changed "Kreitman" to "Kreitmann"
Page 200 Changed "theeayter" to "theayter"
Page 244 Changed "neighborhod" to "neighborhood"
Page 252 Changed "Fernstein" to "Feinstein"
Page 280 Changed "cigarrettel" to "cigarettel"
Pages 54, 300, 411 Changed "aint" to "ain't"
Page 368 Changed "cancellation" to "cancelation"
Page 374 Changed "Raskin" to "Rashkin" (twice)
Page 389 Changed "practicaly" to "practically"
Page 394 Changed "Sugarmen" to "Sugarman"
Page 413 Changed "cutthroats" to "cut-throats"