Betty, "first catch your fish," is a golden rule for a cook, and first
catch your situation is a very necessary piece of advice to be given to
servants in general. The choice of a mistress requires as much judgment
as the choice of poultry; and you should be careful not to pick out
a very old bird in either case. The best market to go to in order to
suit yourself is a servants' bazaar--as it is called--where mistresses
are always on view for servants to select from. On being shown up to
a lady, you should always act and talk as if you were hiring her,
instead of wanting to be hired. You should examine her closely as to
the company she keeps, and the number of her family; when, if there
is any insuperable objection--such as the absence of a footman, a
stipulation against perquisites, a total prohibition of a grease-pot,
or a denial of the right of visit, by a refusal to allow followers--in
either or all of these cases, it will be as well to tell "the lady"
plainly that you must decline her situation. It is a good general rule
to be the first to give a refusal, and, when you find you are not
likely to suit the place, a bold assertion that the place will not
suit you, prevents any compromise of your dignity. If you like the
appearance and manner of the party requiring your assistance, but with
some few concessions to be made, the best way to obtain them will be by
declaring that you never heard of any "lady" requiring--whatever it may
be that you have set your face against. By laying a stress on the word
"lady," you show your knowledge of the habits of the superior classes;
and as the person hiring you will probably wish to imitate their ways,
she will perhaps take your hint as to what a "lady" ought to do, and
dispense with conditions, which, on your authority, are pronounced
unlady-like. If a situation seems really desirable, you should evince a
willingness, and profess an ability, to do anything, and everything. If
you get the place, and are ever called upon to fulfil your promises, it
is easy to say you did not exactly understand you would be expected to
do this, or that; and as people generally dislike changing, you will,
most probably, be able to retain your place.
[Illustration: _Smithson (the celebrated poet, novelist, playwright,
&c.)._ "But, my dear young lady, I really don't understand you. I
haven't been winning any ping-pong tournament. I don't play."
_Miss Brown._ "Oh, but _surely_ I heard our hostess say you were '_the_
Mr. Smithson!'"]
[Illustration: A HINT.--_Young Housewife (as the front door bell
rings)._ "Now, is that the butcher's boy--or a visitor?" _New "General"
(after a pause)._ "If you don't think you're tidy enough, mum--_I_'ll
go!"]
When asked if you are fond of children, you should not be content with
saying simply "yes," but you should indulge in a sort of involuntary,
"Bless their little hearts!" which has the double advantage of
appearing to mean everything, while it really pledges you to nothing.
Never stick out for followers, if they are objected to; though you
may ask permission for a cousin to come and see you; and as you do
not say which cousin, provided only one comes at a time, you may have
half-a-dozen to visit you. Besides, if the worst comes to the worst,
and you cannot do any better, there is always the police to fall back
upon. By-the-way, as the police cannot be in every kitchen at once, it
might answer the purpose of the female servants throughout London, to
establish police sweeps, on the principle of the Derby lotteries, or
the Art-Union. Each subscriber might draw a number, and if the number
happened to be that of the policeman on duty, she would be entitled to
him as a _beau_, during a specified period.
[Illustration: _Visitor._ "I'm so glad to find you going on so nicely,
Mrs. Jenkins! And is this the dear little soul? I would so _love_ to
see him!" _Mrs. Jenkins._ "Lor, no, mum! That's my 'usband taking
his bit o' rest. He's a policeman on night duty." [_Quick exit, with
promise to look in again._]
Always stipulate for beer-money, and propose it less for your own
advantage than as a measure of economy to your mistress, urging that
when there is beer in the house it is very likely to get wasted.
You will, of course, have the milk in your eye, when proposing this
arrangement.
Tea and sugar must not be much insisted on, for they are now seldom
given, but this does not prevent them from being very frequently taken.
Having said thus much by way of preliminary advice, we commence our
guides to service with