As the music began, the lights grew soft and dim. I watched the couples
as they passed like phantoms in the darkness.
Then I saw her, dancing with some wretched novice who could scarcely keep
on his feet. How lovely and how wretched she looked.
“Kathleen!” I exclaimed, half aloud, and advanced.
“May I break?” I asked, and took her into my arms.
Her dancing—how can I describe it? She moved like some sprite—sure-footed
languorous, as light as a summer cloud.
Drawing her to me, I suited my steps to the slow, yearning melody of
the waltz. As we glided in the semi-darkness, oblivious of the passing
couples she pressed her glowing cheek to mine and breathed quickly.
“Oh”—
“Sweetheart, why cannot I hold you like this forever? I feel that you are
a part of my very soul!”
“Hold me—oh, hold me tight!”
“I have lived always for this moment. Dearest, you are the only girl in
the whole world—you _are_ the whole world”—
And there, our eyes closed in ecstasy, I kissed her.
“I love you! The universe was made for the rapture of this moment. The
stars have shone in vain for ages that they might light your eyes now!
All time has been but a prelude to this second! Say you love me! Just say
it!”
“Oh, Jimmy, you know I do!”
“Why, Kathleen, this isn’t Jimmy!” I cried.
“And this isn’t Kathleen,” replied the stranger.
_Our Rural Mail Box_
=_Jack Tar_=—Tell her that it was a balloon.
* * * * *
=_Ima Frade_=—If you are gun-shy, go with a soldier, then you’ll soon get
used to having arms around you.
* * * * *
=_Fumey Gait_=—A bully game of cards would be Pedro.
* * * * *
=_Gracie_=—The mere fact that the tears run down the back of a cross-eyed
person does not indicate they have bacteria.
* * * * *
=_Dora Knobs_=—A cigarette and a bottle of beer are sure to make a
delightful breakfast for a lady of careless morals after a night of
arduous cavorting.
* * * * *
=_Tooth Ache Kid_=—When suffering from a violent toothache in the hollow
of a tooth, fill the cavity with whisky and hold there thirty seconds
with your head cocked to one side. Swallow whisky and refill cavity.
Repeat this treatment a few hundred times and if it doesn’t give relief,
try wood alcohol instead.
* * * * *
=_Brother Eagle_=—When suffering from exhaustion, the patient should be
put in a cool shady wine room. A Scotch and soda in a tall thin glass
with plenty of ice may be given at intervals, and should a tickling ensue
give patient pink sporting page and turn on phonograph. Continue this
treatment until patient kicks phonograph into the alley. This is what is
known as the negative test and is proof of patient’s recovery.
* * * * *
=_Ab. Doman_=—Yes, married men make the best husbands.
* * * * *
=_Kauph E. Keuler_=—If you can’t drink coffee out of a saucer without
scalding your nose, use a bowl.
* * * * *
=_Herr Nett_=—When you make a present to a woman, always leave the cost
tag on it; it will save her a trip downtown.
* * * * *
=_All Readers_=—I would like to know whether a zebra is a white animal
with black stripes or a black animal with white stripes.—=_Captain
Billy._=
* * * * *