MOUS. Cousin Crummy! (_follows her to the door, then crams the veil
into his pocket and begins to whistle very loud_)
_Enter CRUMMY from Office._
CRUM. (R.) Oh, you’re alone, are you?
MOUS. Yes, yes. Amusing myself as well as I can. La, la, la!
(_singing_)
CRUM. Oh, then, she’s been gone some time I suppose?
MOUS. She? who? (_pretending to remember_) Oh, yes--little
Betsy--of course--I remember. Ha, ha, ha! How you could have got such an
absurd notion into your head, I can’t imagine. The girl never even
thought of me!
CRUM. (_aside_) The little hypocrite! (_aloud_) Then I must
have made a mistake.
MOUS. A mistake of the most gigantic dimensions, Crummy.
CRUM. Well--by the bye, your wife wants her veil. Where is it?
(_looking about_) Where’s the veil?
MOUS. Veil? Oh, here it is, but you know it wants mending.
CRUM. Oh, never mind a little tear like that.
MOUS. (_tearing a large hole in the veil, aside_) A little tear!
It’s tremendous! Look here. (_shewing it_) So, I’ll just leave it
with the young woman when I go past--(_aside_)--with a note inside,
requesting her to come here this evening, when my wife is out. I’m
rushing headlong into all sorts of iniquities! But, as I said before, I
can’t help it. (_gets hat, &c. from the table_)
CRUM. You’re going out again?
MOUS. (_imitating him_) Going out again, what a question!
Doesn’t Mrs. Major-General Jones expect me?
CRUM. (_smiling_) Again?
MOUS. Yes, sir, again! This case of Jones _v._ Jones is a very
complicated case, sir, and I must get a counsel’s opinion.
CRUM. Then, of course, you can’t accompany Anastasia to her
sister’s?
MOUS. Anastasia! Oh, true, I forgot her.
CRUM. (_aside_) Forgot his wife! Better and better. Ha, ha!
(_aloud_) Oh, here she comes--you can accompany part of the way.
MOUS. Eh? Yes, yes, of course! (_pulling out his watch, and looking
at it--then with, pretended surprise_) Goodness gracious! I shall be
too late for Mrs. Major-General Jones.
(_he rushes out, L. D. F._)
_Enter MRS. MOUSER in her bonnet and shawl, L._
MRS. M. (_calling after MOUSER, whom she sees running out_) Mr.
Mouser! Marmaduke! Call him back, cousin!
CRUM. It’s no use my calling him back, my dear--he saw you coming.
MRS. M. And now leaves the house again, without saying a word.
CRUM. And without his usual “fond embrace before we part!”
MRS. M. Yes--but this is neglect--downright neglect--not that it matters
to me.