BET. The young woman? Yes, sir, Elizabeth Baker, the youngest of
sixteen sisters, and all of ’em girls, sir--and hard-working girls, too,
sir. It’s worth going over to our laundry to see us, sir. Fancy sixteen
Bakers a washing, all of a row!
CRUM. Well, I’ll bear my promise in mind.
BET. Don’t you think you’d better get it off your mind at once, sir?
There’s a nice little shop in the greengrocery line, to be let at the
corner of the street--and, as Harris doesn’t seem very fond of
the law, it would be just the very thing for us.
CRUM. (_aside_) Egad, here’s an opportunity for driving a
bargain. She’s a smart little body enough, and if she can only be
induced to act as I direct--I’ll feel the ground at all events.
(_aloud_) I suppose you’ve brought Mrs. Mouser’s veil? (_pointing
to parcel_)
BET. Yes, sir.
CRUM. Mr. Mouser called and told _you_ to do so, eh?
BET. He didn’t address himself to any of us in particular, sir. He
just popped his head in at the door, and said, “Mrs. Mouser wants her
veil directly,” and then took to his heels as if he was frightened to
look at any woman but his wife. Lor! what a happy couple they must
be!
CRUM. (_with a deep sigh_) Happy! (_solemnly_) They are _not_ a happy
couple!
BET. Lawks!
CRUM. Yet they might be--but, unfortunately, there is only one person
in the world who could make them so.
BET. And who is that?
CRUM. You.
BET. (_with a jump_) Me! I’m sure I’ll set about it directly, if
you’ll only tell me how.
CRUM. I will. (_looks mysteriously about him--BETSY watches
him with astonishment--then in a loud whisper_) You must fall in love
with Mr. Mouser.
BET. Sir!
CRUM. And Mr. Mouser must instantly fall in love with you.
BET. (_staring at him--then with dignity_) Give me my pattens,
sir, and let me go. Give me my pattens, I say.
CRUM. ’Pshaw, child! You misunderstand me. Listen! Your sudden
passion for Mouser----
BET. (_seizing hold of them, and trying to pull them out of CRUMMY’S
hand_)
CRUM. Oh! Very well! It’s a pity, too--for a married couple might do
very well.
BET. My pattens!
CRUM. At that little greengrocer’s shop at the corner of the
street.
BET. My pat--(_letting go the pattens_) Well, they’re not worth
making a piece of work about.
CRUM. (_smiling_) Oh! Then as I was going to say--your passion
for Mouser, will, of course, be merely assumed, but you must contrive to
make him fall in love with you, in downright earnest.
BET. I can’t do it, sir. I wouldn’t mind trying, if I wasn’t such a
dragon of virtue--but I’m sorry to say I am.
CRUM. Then somebody else will.
BET. But if he should happen to captivate me?
CRUM. That’s your affair.
BET. But why--why am I to do all this?
CRUM. That’s my affair.
BET. (L.) But what will Mrs. Mouser say?
CRUM. That’s her affair.
BET. But she’ll go and imagine all sorts of things.
CRUM. I hope she will. Come, is it a bargain? Will you have Joseph
Harris, and the little greengrocer’s shop, or will you take your pattens
and go? (_offering them_)
BET. You can keep the pattens.
CRUM. Spoken like a sensible girl. (_places patterns in passage,
L.C._) I expect Mouser every minute.