“On the margin of fair Zurich’s waters,
Ya--oo--oo!”
That isn’t quite the thing. (_repeating_) Ya--oo--oo! That’s more
like it!
MRS. M. (_throws down her work_) This is really intolerable! I
wish you wouldn’t attempt to sing that song, Mr. Mouser. You’ll never
accomplish it.
MOUS. I _will_ accomplish it, Mrs. Mouser. Indeed, I may say, I _have_
accomplished it--all, except the “Ya--oo--oo,” and I’m not going to be
beat by a “Ya--oo--oo,” I can tell you. No, Mrs. Mouser, I’ll
accomplish that “Ya--oo--oo,” if I die for it! (_very loud, and out of
tune_) “Ya--oo--oo!” No--that’s worse than ever.
MRS. M. It’s quite clear that you are determined to annoy me.
(_pouting_)
MOUS. (_comes down quickly; very tenderly_) Annoy you? _You_, my
Anastasia? _You?_ Pooh!
MRS. M. I’ve told you a hundred times, Marmaduke, that you haven’t a
single note in your voice.
MOUS. Then the more creditable in your Marmaduke to try and get a
few. (_in a solemn tone_) Anastasia, we live in a wonderful age.
Every thing we see above us, below us, and all round about us, proclaims
the triumph of mind over matter.
MRS. M. (_yawns slightly_) Well, I don’t deny it, do I?
MOUS. You _can’t_ deny it. Look at the Railroads--oblige me by looking
at the Railroads, with their gigantic viaducts, their stupendous
aqueducts--look at the Electric Telegraph over the Straits of
Menai--look at the Tubular Bridge under the Straits of Dover! And
how--how is this done? By perseverance--by determination! And shall I
flinch from a paltry obstacle? Never! So here goes again! (_very loud_)
“Ya--oo--oo!”
MRS. M. (_listening_) Hark!
MOUS. What?
MRS. M. I thought I heard my dear Cousin Crummy outside. But of
course that would give _you_ no gratification.
MOUS. You wrong me, Anastasia. As long as your Cousin Crummy is
outside, and _keeps_ outside, I don’t care how often I hear him.
MRS. M. (_severely_) Mr. Mouser!
MOUS. Understand me, Anastasia, I mean no disrespect to your Cousin
Crummy--on the contrary, Crummy’s a man I like--but Crummy’s like many
other good things in this world, a little of him goes a long way. In
short, he gives us too much of his society.
MRS. M. Because he sees we are so much alone.
MOUS. But we never are alone. Crummy won’t let us be alone.
MRS. M. Well, isn’t it natural that he should drop in upon us? Isn’t
he your partner in the business? Isn’t he one of the firm, Mouser and
Crummy, Attorneys-at-law?
MOUS. Yes, and why? Because you chose to fancy that my practice was
more than I could get through, and that I required a partner.
MRS. M. I confess I did, and you took him in.
MOUS. I beg your pardon--he took _me_ in; and pretty considerably
too, for he pockets half the profits, and leaves me all the work.
MRS. M. How can you say so? Isn’t he gone out on business now--and all
the way to Pentonville, too?
MOUS. All the way from Islington to Pentonville!