_House of Commons, Monday, February 24._--"Look here, TOBY, M.P.," said
ARTHUR BALFOUR, almost fiercely; "if you suppose that I enjoy this sort
of thing, you're quite mistaken." Hadn't supposed any such thing;
hadn't, indeed, referred to the matter. Only looked at him inquiringly,
as ATTORNEY-GENERAL for IRELAND, trudging stolidly through the mire,
attempted to answer CHARLES RUSSELL. "If I _am_ Irish Secretary, as
TREVELYAN once said, I'm an English gentleman, and if you suppose I have
any sympathy with the sort of thing that goes on at Clongorey, you're
mistaken. But I am answerable for law and order, and law and order I
maintain."
Thus ARTHUR, quite querulous. Have noticed sometimes, when a man
hopelessly in the wrong, he is inclined to turn on his best friend and
rend him. This Clongorey business, truly, a bad one. When, just now,
SEXTON moved adjournment of House, in order to call attention to it,
Conservatives rose with one accord and went forth. They know WINDBAG
SEXTON of old, and thought he was probably going to favour them with one
of his usual exercises. Better this once have stopped and listened.
Interesting to see how two hundred English gentlemen would have voted
had they learned all about Clongorey. Happily less, far less, than usual
of the windbag about SEXTON. His story, in truth, needed no assistance
from wind instrument. Farms at Clongorey simply strips of reclaimed bog
land, on which struggling tenants had built miserable shanties; got
along in good times; just managed to keep body and soul together, and
pay the rent--rent on land they had literally created, and for huts they
had actually built. Two years ago came a flood; swamped them. Asked
landlord to make temporary reduction on rent, to tide over troublesome
times. Landlord offered a pitiful trifle. What was thought of this shown
by County Court Judge, who, on cases that came before him, permanently
reduced rent by thrice amount of temporary reduction proffered. Judge
further suggested that arrears should be wiped out. Landlord declined to
listen to suggestion. Tenants drowned out by the cruel river, dragged
out by the relentless landlord. Stood by whilst the emergency men
wrenched roofs off their huts, and set fire to the ruins. A neighbour
offered them shelter, enlarging out-buildings on her farm. Down came the
police on workmen engaged in this act of charity. A hundred police, paid
for by tax-payer, swooped down with fixed bayonets on Clongorey,
arrested labourers, handcuffed them, marched them off to police
barracks.
This is the simple Story of Clongorey, reduced to facts not denied by
BALFOUR or ATTORNEY-GENERAL, divested of all incidental matters alleged,
such as the parading of the handcuffed prisoners through the crowded
streets of the town, the police making raids among the crowd, naturally
gathered to see the sight. "One man had his eyeball burst, another his
skull broken." CHARLES RUSSELL, not given to exaggerated views, somewhat
reputable as a legal authority, with law-books in hand stated his
opinion that, apart from incidents of the foray, magistrates and police
were acting illegally.
"Well," said LONG LAWRANCE, turning his back on House of Commons, "I'm
glad they've made me a Judge. Have ever been what is called a good
Party-man; believe in BALFOUR; always ready to back him up with my vote;
but, dash my wig (now that I'm going to wear a full-bottomed one) if I
like voting to render possible the repetition of a business like this at
Clongorey. Must begin to cultivate a judicial frame of mind; so I'll go
for a walk on the terrace." LAWRANCE'S view evidently taken in other
quarters of Conservative camp, for, after diligent whipping up,
Ministerial majority reduced to 42. _Business done._--Address agreed to.
_Tuesday._--Midst a mass of Notices of Motion, a sea of troublous words,
GEORGE TREVELYAN drops in a score which shines forth with light of common
sense. "Why," he asks, "does not Parliament rise at beginning of July,
sitting through winter months for whatsoever longer period may be
necessary for the due transaction of public business?"
Why not? On Friday, the 14th March, TREVELYAN will put the question in
formal way before House, so that they may vote on it. Conservative
majority may well be expected to support it. No new thing; simply
revival of older fashion. Our great grandfathers knew better than to
swelter in London through July, pass the Twelfth of August at
Westminster, and go off forlorn and jaded in the early days of
September. Hunting men may have objections to raise; but then hunting
men, though eminently respectable class, are not everybody, not even a
majority; may even be spared to go hunting as usual. WALPOLE hunted like
anything, yet in WALPOLE'S day Parliament oftener met in November than
at any other time of year, and with due provision for Christmas
holidays, sat into early summer. The thing can be done, and ought to be
done--will be done if TREVELYAN sticks to it. Not nearly such a
revolution in Procedure as that which, only a couple of years ago,
established the automatic close of Debate at midnight. Who is there
would like to go back to the old order of things in this respect?
Got into Committee of Supply to-night on Vote for Houses of Parliament.
TONY LUMPKIN turned up again. Last Session, in moment of inspiration,
TONY spluttered forth a joke; likened new staircase in Westminster Hall
to SPURGEON'S Pulpit. It is just as like the River Thames or Finsbury
Park; but that's where the fun lies. Incongruity is the soul of wit.
Everybody laughed last Session when TONY, with much gurgling, produced
this bantling; brings it out again to-night.
"Can't have too much of a good thing, TOBY," he says, wrestling with his
exuberant shirt-front, and rubbing his hair the wrong way. "Always had
my joke, you know, down in the country. Remember the little affair of
the circuitous drive? This is what you may call my urban class of
humour. SPURGEON'S Pulpit, Ha, ha!"--and TONY walked off delighted with
himself.
_Business done._--Supplementary Estimates.
[Illustration: "Spurgeon's Pulpit, Ha, ha!"]
_Thursday._--Pity that prejudice should be allowed to stand in way of
doing the best thing. Talk just now of pending vacancies on the Bench;
such talk recurrent; sometimes more talk than vacancy. "But I pass from
that," as ARTHUR BALFOUR says, when gliding over knotty points of
question put from Irish Benches. If not vacancy to-morrow, sure to be
within week, or month, or year. Why not make JEMMY LOWTHER a Judge? It
is true he has no practice at the Bar; but he was "called," and, I
believe, went. That is a detail; what we desire in our Judges are, a
certain impressive air, a striking presence, and an art of rotund
speech. JAMES has played many parts in his time--Parliamentary Secretary
to the Poor-Law Board, Under-Secretary for the Colonies, Chief Secretary
for Ireland, and Steward of the Jockey Club. In this last capacity he, a
year ago, temporarily assumed judicial functions. How well he bore
himself! with what dignity! with what awful suavity! with what
irreproachable integrity!
That this manner is ingrained, is testified to on the occasions, too
infrequent, when JEMMY rises in House. To-night BUCHANAN asked HOME
SECRETARY a question, involving disrespect of rabbit-coursing. JAMES,
the great patron of British sport in all developments, slowly rose, and
impressively interposed. Was his Right Hon. friend, the HOME SECRETARY,
aware that rabbit-coursing, conducted under recognised and established
regulations, affords pastime to large masses of the industrious
population who are unable, from their pecuniary circumstances, to
indulge in the more expensive forms of sport? Those were JEMMY'S words,
each syllable deliberately enunciated. What a study for the aspirant to
Parliamentary style!
Kindly Earl of RAVENSWORTH, who still haunts the Chamber in which Lord
ESLINGTON once had a place, chanced to hear this question. Delighted
with it. Wished he could introduce something of that sort in House of
Lords. Went about Lobby with his faithful umbrella (companion of his
daily life, wet or shine) murmuring the musical phrases. "Recognised and
established regulations," "afford pastime to large masses of industrious
population," "unable from pecuniary circumstances," "the more expensive
forms of sport." That all very well, but not quite all. Easy enough to
catch the trick of speech; who but JEMMY LOWTHER can add the indefinable
personal gifts which invest even the commonplace with impressiveness?
_Business done._--Lots. Ministers bring in Bills by the half-dozen.
[Illustration: Earl and Umbrella.]
_Friday._--Such _alouettes_! SAGE OF QUEEN ANNE'S GATE, who can't abear
scandals, brought on alleged iniquity of Government in connection with
Cleveland Street affair. Got off his speech; ATTORNEY-GENERAL replied;
then SAGE proposed to offer few supplementary remarks. In course of
these appeared frank declaration of his private opinion that everything
the MARKISS says must be taken _cum grano Salis_-BURY; only the way he
put it was much worse than that. COURTNEY asked him to withdraw.
"Shan't!" said the SAGE. Then COURTNEY named him (calling him, by the
way, "Mr. HENRY LABOUCHERE.") OLD MORALITY, rising to height of duty and
occasion, moved that SAGE be suspended.
"Oh, hang it!" cried Opposition--"can't agree to that."
Divided on proposal; beaten, and SAGE hung up for a week. "He'll be
pretty well dried by that time," grimly muttered the ATTORNEY-GENERAL,
whom the SAGE had stroked the wrong way.
_Business done._--Vote on Account agreed to.
[Illustration: Grand Historical Picture. Mr. Labouchere struggling with
his Conscience.]
* * * * *
"A DOSE OF GREGORY."
It is some time since I have tasted a dramatic mixture so much to my
liking as Mr. GRUNDY'S Gregory's Mixture, known to the public, and
likely to be highly popular with the public too, as _A Pair of
Spectacles_. Art more refined than Mr. HARE'S, as _Benjamin Goldfinch_
in this piece, has not been seen on the stage for many a long day; nor,
except in _A Quiet Rubber_, do I remember Mr. HARE having had anything
like this particular chance of displaying his rare skill as a genuine
comedian of the very first rank.
[Illustration: The Ruffled Hare. "This is your umbrella!"]
Everyone remembers, or ought to remember, DICKENS'S "_Brothers
Cheeryble_." Well, _Benjamin Goldfinch_ has all the milk of human
kindness which characterised these philanthropic Gemini. As to moral
characteristics, he is these two single gentlemen rolled into one, while
physically, his exterior rather conjures up the picture of _Harold
Skimpole_, though his eyes beam with the youthful impetuosity of old
_Martin Chuzzlewit_ when he caned _Pecksniff_. To this delightfully
guileless good Samaritan, the rough, nay brutal, _Uncle Gregory_ from
Sheffield, with a heart apparently as hard as his own ware, is a
contrast most skilfully brought out by Mr. CHARLES GROVE. Though the
part of _Uncle Gregory_ does not require the delicate treatment demanded
by that of _Goldfinch_, yet it might very easily be overdone; but never
once does Mr. GROVE overshoot the mark, although the author has
imperilled its success by too frequent repetition of a catch-phrase, "I
know that man," "I know that father," "I know that friend," and so
forth, which is sometimes on the verge of becoming wearisome. Indeed,
even now, I should be inclined to cut out at least half a dozen of these
variations of the original phrase. His short but sufficient
representation of the effects of too much lunch on _Uncle Gregory_ is
masterly. So realistic, in the best sense of the word, is the
impersonation of these two characters, that one is inclined to resent
the brutality of _Uncle Gregory_, when one sees the change suddenly
effected in the sweet and sympathetic nature of _Benjamin Goldfinch_,
and when we see him suspicious of everybody, and even of his young wife,
whom he loves so dearly, we murmur, "Oh, what a noble mind is here
o'erthrown!" And, indeed, but that it is impossible to help laughing
from first to last, the final scenes of this charming piece, replete
with touches of real human nature, would send an audience away crying
with joy, to think of the possible goodness existent in the world, of
which one occasionally hears, but so seldom sees, except on the stage.
[Illustration: Mr. Grove as Gregory the Grater.]
Not a part in this piece is even indifferently played. The two young
men, Mr. RUDGE HARDING, and Mr. SYDNEY BROUGH, both very good, the
latter having better dramatic opportunities, and making the most of
them. Mr. DODSWORTH just the very man for _Friend Lorimer_; Mr. CATHCART
is _Joyce_, the Butler; and of the two Shoemakers, respectively played
by Mr. KNIGHT and Mr. BYRON, I can only say, "I know those shoemakers."
As for the Ladies, Miss KATE RORKE looks very pretty, and acts
charmingly as young _Mrs. Goldfinch_; Miss HORLOCK is very nice as _Lucy
Lorimer_, delivering herself of a little bit of picturesque sentiment
about feeding the birds (_Les Petits Oiseaux_ is the title of the old
French piece, if I remember rightly) in a rather too forcedly ingenuous
manner, but behaving most naturally in the interrupted courtship scene,
and being generally very sympathetic. I mustn't omit Miss HUNTER, pink
of parlour-maids, not the conventional flirty soubrette nor the
low-comedy waiting-woman, but a self-respecting, responsible young
person, conscious of her own and her young man's moral rectitude, and
satisfied with quarter-day and the Post-Office Savings Bank.
Only one single fault have I to find with the piece, and as it cannot be
entirely remedied, though it might be modified, I will mention it. The
title is a mistake; that can't be altered now: but the attempt at
illustrating the double-meaning conveyed in the title by the practical
"business" of changing the material glasses and thus hampering the actor
by the necessity of altering his expression and his manner in accordance
with his deposition or his resumption of these spectacles, seems to me
to be childish to a degree, and tends towards turning this simple tale
into a kind of fairy story, in which the spectacles play the part of a
magic potion or charm, such as Mr. W. S. GILBERT would use in his
_Creatures of Impulse_, his _Fogarty's Fairy_, and his _Sorcerer_,
whenever he wishes to bring about a sudden and otherwise inexplicable
transition from one mental attitude to another, and entirely opposite.
But for the earnestness of the actors, this _reductio ad Fairydum_ would
have imparted an air of unreality to the characters and incidents which
does not belong to them. The plot is a model of neat construction; and,
to everyone at all in doubt as to where to pass an agreeable evening, I
say, "Go to the Garrick Theatre." By the way, a Correspondent suggests
that _A Pair of Spectacles_ is an illustration of "The Hares
Preservation Bill,"