THE NOMINATIVE CASE.
[Illustration: THE NOMINATIVE CASE
THE·STAG·RUNS]
The next day, Dr. Verb came bustling into the court, looking very
cross, and calling out loudly for justice.
“What is the matter?” asked the Judge; “state your case quietly.”
“It is not _my_ case, it is Pronoun’s case, that is the matter,”
answered Dr. Verb; “though I do not say it is his fault. We should get
on very well if people would only mind their own business.”
“If you will not tell me the state of the case clearly, I cannot help
you,” said the Judge.
“Well, my lord, if you will listen for a minute, I will try to
explain it, so that every one can understand. As you know very well,
I am constantly agreeing with Mr. Pronoun. I showed you how I alter
to suit his number and person, and it is only fair that he should
alter sometimes to suit me. I only agree with him when he is in the
‘Nominative Case.’”
At the words “Nominative Case” there was a real cry of horror from
nearly every one in court. You might have thought they had all turned
into interjections, they made such a fuss.
“Nominative Case!” cried Noun; “shame, shame!”
“Shameful! awful! shocking!” cried Adjective.
“Fie! fie! fie!” cried Interjection, and turned three times over head
and heels.
“Pray do not use such words, Dr. Verb,” said Judge Grammar, “but tell
us what you mean.”
“Really, my lord,” said Dr. Verb, “I did not mean any harm. Nominative
is not such a _very_ long word, that people should make such a fuss
about it. I am sure the ladies and gentlemen of the jury will not be
angry at my using it.”
“That depends on how you explain it,” said the Judge; “What does it
mean?”
“It means the person or thing that _is_ or _does_ whatever my verb says
about him. _The cat purrs_. It is the _cat_ that does what the verb
mentions. You have only to put ‘who’ before the verb in any sentence,
and the answer will give you the Nominative. ‘Who purrs?’ The answer is
the _cat_, so _cat_ is the nominative to the verb _purrs_. That is the
way that _I_ find out whom I am to make my verb agree with.”
“Is that _your_ way, Brother Parsing?” asked the Judge.
“Yes, my lord,” answered Serjeant Parsing, “that is my way, and
therefore, of course, it is the best way. My way is always the best
way. Now there is a sentence all ready for you: _My way is always the
best way._ I’ll find the nominative before you can dot an _i_. ‘_What_
is always the best way?’ Answer, _my way_ is always the best way;--so
_my way_ is the Nominative.”
“But you asked ‘what?’ not ‘who?’ there, Brother Parsing,” remarked the
Judge.
“Because _way_ is a thing, not a person, my lord. When we are talking
of a thing, then we ask ‘what?’ instead of ‘who?’ If you said ‘the
pudding is boiling in the pot,’ I should say ‘_what_ is boiling?’
not ‘_who_ is boiling?’ for I should hope you would not be boiling
a _person_ in a pot, unless you were the giant in Jack and the
Beanstalk.”
“Fi! fo! fum!” said Interjection, standing on his head, and clapping
his heels together.
“Silence, sir!” cried the Judge. “Brother Parsing, please not to talk
about giants till we have done with the Nominative Case. Has any
gentleman anything more to explain about it?”
“Please, my lord,” said Pronoun, “Dr. Verb complains that he has to
agree with me when I am in the Nominative Case. But he has to agree
with Mr. Noun just as much. It is no matter what part of speech stands
as the Nominative in a sentence, Dr. Verb must agree with it; so he
need not grumble at me more than at any one else.”
“I am not grumbling at you----,” Dr. Verb began.
“Wait a minute, Dr. Verb,” interrupted the Judge; “let us first fully
understand this case. You say there is a verb in every sentence?”
“Certainly, my lord,” said Verb.
“And there is a Nominative in every sentence?”
“Exactly so, my lord,” answered Serjeant Parsing.
“And this Nominative may be a noun or a pronoun?” continued the Judge.
“It may, my lord,” chimed in both Mr. Noun and Mr. Pronoun.
“And this verb must agree with this Nominative, whether it likes or
not?” asked the Judge.
At that question Dr. Syntax suddenly started up like a jack-in-the-box,
and standing bolt upright, said, “A verb must agree with its Nominative
case in number and person. A verb must agree with its Nominative case
in number and person;” and then sank down again.
“Ah!” said the Judge. “Very good. So you see, Dr. Verb, when you have
a sentence like ‘ducks swim in ponds,’ you are first to find your own
word swim, then to put _who_ or _what_ before it--‘who swim?’ or ‘what
swim?’ The answer will be _ducks_, the Nominative. Then you are to
be sure that the verb agrees with it. You must say ‘ducks swim,’ not
‘ducks swims;’ and as ducks is the third person and plural number, swim
will be third person and plural number too.”
“Please, my lord,” said Pronoun, “when I am Nominative you need very
seldom take the trouble to ask any question to find out the Nominative,
for most of my words show at once what they are in. _I_, _thou_, _he_,
_she_, _we_, and _they_ will never allow themselves to be used except
as Nominatives. They were born Nominatives, they say, and will not
degrade themselves by being anything else. They are rather angry with
_you_ for letting people use _him_ in any way they like, but he is a
good-natured little fellow, and does not mind any more about the case
than he does about being called singular when he is really plural.
But _I_, _thou_, _he_, _she_, _we_, and _they_, are exceedingly
particular, and always are and will be Nominatives, so you need not ask
any question when you see one of them in a sentence.”
“You may just as well make it a rule to ask ‘who?’ or ‘what?’ in every
sentence, to find the Nominative,” said Serjeant Parsing. “It is such
an easy way of finding the case that a baby in arms could understand
it.”
“Tut! tut! tut! tut!” laughed Interjection again.
“Oh! be quiet, do!” said Serjeant Parsing; “and, my lord, if the ladies
and gentlemen of Schoolroom-shire like to find out the Nominatives in
these verses----”
“Yes,” said the Judge; “hand them up, brother. No, do not begin again,
Dr. Verb; no more complaints to-day. And remember, friends, that in
these lines every verb must have a Nominative, unless there is a
little _to_ before the verb. Then it has none--it does not agree with
anything. And remember, too, that every noun or pronoun that is in the
Nominative case is to get an extra mark on your slates. I wish you
good-morning, gentlemen.”
So saying, the Judge rose. The verses were handed to the people of
Schoolroom-shire, and the court was cleared.
SERJEANT PARSING’S VERSES.
The hen guards well her little chicks,
The useful cow is meek;
The beaver builds with mud and sticks,
The lapwing loves to squeak.
In Germany they hunt the boar,
The bee brings honey home;
The ant lays up a winter store,
The bear loves honeycomb.
I lost my poor little doll, dears,
As I played on the heath one day;
And I cried for her more than a week, dears,
But I never could find where she lay.
The maidens laughed, the children played,
The boys cut many capers,
While aunt was lecturing the maid,
And uncle read the papers.
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