[Illustration: COURT GRAMMARLAND]
GRAMMAR-LAND
OR,
GRAMMAR IN FUN FOR THE CHILDREN OF
SCHOOLROOM-SHIRE
BY
M. L. NESBITT
_With Frontispiece and Initials by_ F. WADDY.
[Illustration]
NEW YORK
HENRY HOLT AND COMPANY
1885.
[Illustration]
TO ALL LITTLE CHILDREN
WHO THINK GRAMMAR HARD AND DRY,
=This Book is Dedicated=,
BY ONE WHO LOVES TO SEE
SUNSHINE IN SCHOOLROOM-SHIRE.
[Illustration]
PREFACE TO THE THIRD EDITION.
The favourable reception that the former Editions of this little book
have met with, calls for a word of acknowledgment. It seems that not
only the little folks for whom it was intended, but children of a
larger growth have read it with interest; and students, who spend days
and nights “with weary eyesight poring over miserable books,” have
condescended to turn over these pages, and laughingly admit that the
imagination may sow even the dustiest of book-shelves with flowers.
Teachers of the younger classes in schools have found this little
volume extremely useful; and it is suggested, that though children
will often read it with pleasure by themselves, they will derive much
more profit from it when it is made the text-book for a lesson. The
simple exercises appended to each chapter will then be found both
useful and entertaining.
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CONTENTS.
PAGE
INTRODUCTION--JUDGE GRAMMAR AND HIS SUBJECTS 1
CHAPTER I.
MR. NOUN 7
CHAPTER II.
LITTLE ARTICLE 15
CHAPTER III.
MR. PRONOUN 20
CHAPTER IV.
SERJEANT PARSING’S VISIT TO SCHOOLROOM-SHIRE 28
CHAPTER V.
MR. ADJECTIVE 30
CHAPTER VI.
MR. ADJECTIVE TRIED FOR STEALING 37
CHAPTER VII.
THE QUARREL BETWEEN MR. PRONOUN AND MR. ADJECTIVE,
AND LITTLE INTERJECTION 45
CHAPTER VIII.
DR. VERB 54
CHAPTER IX.
DR. VERB’S THREE TENSES, NUMBER, AND PERSON 62
CHAPTER X.
SERJEANT PARSING IN SCHOOLROOM-SHIRE AGAIN 70
CHAPTER XI.
THE NOMINATIVE CASE 73
CHAPTER XII.
ADVERB 80
CHAPTER XIII.
PREPOSITION 86
CHAPTER XIV.
PREPOSITIONS GOVERN THE OBJECTIVE CASE 93
CHAPTER XV.
CONJUNCTION 99
CHAPTER XVI.
ACTIVE VERBS GOVERN THE OBJECTIVE CASE 106
CHAPTER XVII.
THE POSSESSIVE CASE; AND WHO’S TO HAVE
THE PRIZE? 114
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GRAMMAR-LAND.
INTRODUCTION.
JUDGE GRAMMAR AND HIS SUBJECTS.
[Illustration: JUDGE GRAMMAR RULES IN EVERY LAND.]
What is Grammar-land? Where is Grammar-land? Have you ever been to
Grammar-land? Wait a minute and you shall hear. You will not find
Grammar-land marked on the globe, and I never saw a map of it; but
then, who ever saw a map of Fairy-land? and yet you have all heard of
that, and know a great deal about it, of course. Well, Grammar-land is
a place every bit as real as Fairy-land, and much more important. The
Fairy Queen is all very well, and a very great little queen in her way;
but Judge Grammar! great, stern, old Judge Grammar, is far mightier
than any Fairy Queen, for he rules over real kings and queens down
here in Matter-of-fact-land. Our kings and queens, and emperors too,
have all to obey Judge Grammar’s laws, or else they would talk what is
called _bad grammar_; and then, even their own subjects would laugh at
them, and would say: “Poor things! When they were children, and lived
in Schoolroom-shire, they can never have been taken to Grammar-land!
How shocking!” And Judge Grammar himself--well, I cannot say what he
would do, as I suppose such a thing never really happened; for who
could imagine a king or queen saying, “_I is_,” or “_you was_,” or “_it
wasn’t me_.” No one speaks in that way except people who have never
heard of Judge Grammar.
Ah! I wish you could see him--this great Judge--sitting on his throne
in his court, and giving orders about his precious words, which are
the riches of Grammar-land. For Judge Grammar says that all the words
that you can say belong really to him, and he can do what he likes with
them; he is, in fact, King as well as Judge over Grammar-land. Now, you
know that when William the Conqueror conquered England he divided the
land among his nobles, and they had it for their own so long as they
obeyed the king and helped him in his wars. It was just the same with
Judge Grammar when he took possession of Grammar-land; he gave all the
words to his nine followers, to take for their very own as long as they
obeyed him. These nine followers he called the nine Parts-of-Speech,
and to one or other of them every word in Grammar-land was given.
They are funny fellows, these nine Parts-of-Speech. You will find out
by-and-by which you like best amongst them all. There is rich Mr. Noun,
and his useful friend Pronoun; little ragged Article, and talkative
Adjective; busy Dr. Verb, and Adverb; perky Preposition, convenient
Conjunction, and that tiresome Interjection, the oddest of them all.
Now, as some of these Parts-of-Speech are richer, that is, have more
words than others, and as they all like to have as many as they can
get, it follows, I am sorry to say, that they are rather given to
quarrelling; and so it fell out that one day, when my story begins,
they made so much noise, wrangling and jangling in the court, that they
woke Judge Grammar up from a long and very comfortable nap.
“What is all this about?” he growled out, angrily. “Brother Parsing!
Dr. Syntax! here!”
In an instant the Judge’s two learned counsellors were by his side.
Serjeant Parsing (Brother Parsing, the Judge calls him) has a sharp
nose, bright eyes, a little round wig with a tail to it, and an
eye-glass. He is very quick and cunning in finding out who people
are and what they mean, and making them tell “the truth, the whole
truth, and nothing but the truth.” It is of no use to say “I don’t
know” to Serjeant Parsing. He will question you, and question you,
till somehow or other he makes you know, and finds out all about you.
When I say he will question _you_, of course I mean he will question
the Parts-of-Speech, for that is his business, and that is why Judge
Grammar summoned him. For whenever there is a fuss in Grammar-land,
Serjeant Parsing has to find out all about it, and Dr. Syntax has to
say what is right or wrong, according to the law.
“Brother Parsing,” said the Judge, “this racket must be stopped. What
are they fighting about? I divided the words clearly enough once
amongst the nine Parts-of-Speech. Why cannot they keep the peace?”
“My lord,” answered Serjeant Parsing, “the fact is that it is a long
time since you portioned out the words, and the Parts-of-Speech since
then have been left to do pretty much as they like. Some of them are
greedy, and have stolen their neighbours’ words. Some of them have
got hold of new words, which the others say they had no right to
make; and some of them are even inclined to think that Dr. Syntax is
old-fashioned, and need not be obeyed. In fact, unless your lordship
takes the matter in hand at once, I am afraid the good old laws of
Grammar-land will all go to wreck and ruin.”
“That must never be,” said the Judge, solemnly shaking his wig: “that
must never be. We must stop it at once. Go and summon all my court
before me.”
“Certainly, my lord,” answered Serjeant Parsing; “but may I ask if
there is any Part-of-Speech you wish for in particular?”
“I wish for them all, sir, every one,” replied the Judge. “They shall
all come before me, and you shall question them in turn, and make them
say what right they have to the titles and the words which they claim;
and then if there is any disagreement between them, I will settle the
matter once for all.”
“Quite so, my lord,” said Serjeant Parsing; “and shall I invite our
friends in Schoolroom-shire?”
“Our friends in Schoolroom-shire? By all means let them come,” replied
the Judge. “If we wish to have peace among the Parts-of-Speech it is
most important that the people of Matter-of-fact-land should know how
to use them well. And as the people of Matter-of-fact-land generally
spend at least a part of their lives in Schoolroom-shire, we cannot
do better than send our invitation there. Go, Brother Parsing,
and request them to come, and to bring their slates and pencils
with them, that they may keep an account of what we do, and let our
Parts-of-Speech prepare to come before us at once.”
Away went Serjeant Parsing, as quick as thought, and soon the whole
court was assembled. There was Judge Grammar on his throne, with a
long flowing wig and gorgeous robes. At the table below him sat his
two counsellors, Serjeant Parsing and Dr. Syntax. Dr. Syntax is very
tall and thin and dark. He has a long thin neck covered up with a
stiff black tie, which looks as though it nearly choked him. When he
speaks he stands up, looks straight through his spectacles, sticks out
his chin, and says his say in a gruff and melancholy voice, as if he
were repeating a lesson. He is the terror of all little boys, for he
never smiles, and he is so very, very old, that people say he never
was young like other folks; that when he was a baby he always cried
in Greek, and that his first attempt at talking was in Latin. However
that may be, there he sat, side by side with Serjeant Parsing, while
the company from Schoolroom-shire, armed with slates and pencils,
prepared to listen to the examination that was to take place, and the
Parts-of-Speech crowded together at the end of the court, waiting for
their names to be called.
[Illustration]
CHAPTER I.
MR. NOUN.
[Illustration:
COMMON NOUNS
BIRD HORSE CAT
PROPER NOUNS
VENUS ALICE BOB FIDO]
The first Part-of-Speech that was called was Mr. Noun. He is a stout
big fellow, very well dressed, for he does not mind showing that he is
very rich.
As Mr. Noun came forward, Serjeant Parsing rose, put his pen behind his
ear, arranged his papers on the table before him, and looking at Mr.
Noun through his eye-glass, asked: “What is your name?”
“Name,” answered Mr. Noun.
“Yes, your name?” repeated Serjeant Parsing.
“Name,” again answered Mr. Noun.
“Do not trifle, sir,” said the Judge, sternly; “what is your name?
Answer at once, and truly.”
“I have answered truly,” replied Mr. Noun. “My name is _Name_, for
_noun_ means _name_. The name of everything belongs to me, so I am
called Mr. Name, or Mr. Noun, which means the same thing, and all my
words are called _nouns_.”
“The name of _everything_ belongs to you?” asked Serjeant Parsing, in
surprise.
“Yes,” answered Mr. Noun, “the name of everything.”
“What? Do you mean to say that the name of everything I can see round
me now is one of your words, and is called a noun?”
“I do indeed,” said Mr. Noun. “The name of everything you can see, or
touch, or taste, or smell, or hear, belongs to me.”
“What,” said Serjeant Parsing, “is this _desk_ yours then, and the
_ink_ and the _pen_ and the _window_?”
“The _words_ that _name_ them are all mine,” said Mr. Noun. “Of course
I have nothing to do with the _things_. No gentleman in Grammar-land
has anything to do with _things_, only with words; and I assure you,
you cannot _name_ anything that you can see, or touch, or taste, or
smell, or hear, without using one of my words. _Desk_, _pen_, _ink_,
_window_, _water_, _wine_, _fire_, _smoke_, _light_, _lightning_,
_thunder_, a _taste_, a _smell_, a _noise_, all these words belong to
me, and are called nouns.”
“I see,” said Serjeant Parsing; “you can _hear_ thunder, and _smell_
smoke, and _taste_ wine. And I suppose _dinner_ and _tea_ are yours
also?”
“Certainly, the _words_ breakfast, dinner, and tea, are mine,”
replied Mr. Noun. “The _things_ are what the people live upon in
Schoolroom-shire, but they could not name what they eat without using
my words. The servant would have to make signs to let people know that
dinner was ready; she could not _say_ so unless I allowed her to use my
noun _dinner_.”
“Well,” said Serjeant Parsing, “if you have the name of everything we
can see, touch, taste, smell, or hear, all I can say is, I hope you are
satisfied, and do not claim any more words besides.”
“Indeed,” replied Mr. Noun, drawing himself proudly up, “I have not
mentioned nearly all my words. I told you at first that I have the name
of _everything_, and there are plenty of things that you know about,
although you cannot see, or touch, or taste, or smell, or hear them.
For instance, _love_, or _anger_, or _happiness_. You can feel them in
your heart, and know they are there, although you cannot touch them
with your fingers, or taste them with your tongue, or find them out by
any of your five senses.”
“Do you mean to say, then,” asked Serjeant Parsing, “that when a child
feels naughty in its heart----?”
“Naughtiness is mine,” said Mr. Noun; “the _word_ naughtiness, for it
is the _name_ of the something bad that the child feels.”
“And when it is kind?”
“Kindness is mine, because it is the _name_ of the something kind
and nice it feels _there_. I have a good many more words that end
in _ness_, and that are the names of things you can find out about,
and talk about, though you cannot tell what shape or colour or smell
or taste they have; like _cleverness_, _silliness_, _idleness_,
_ugliness_, _quickness_.”
“I see,” said Serjeant Parsing. “You cannot tell what shape or colour
cleverness is, but you can soon find out whether a boy has any of it by
the way in which he does his lessons.”
“Yes,” said Mr. Noun; “and the names of his lessons are mine too,
for the lessons are things that you can learn about; _geography_,
_history_, _writing_, _arithmetic_, all these names belong to me.”
“Really Mr. Noun,” said Serjeant Parsing, “you do claim a big share of
words. You will be making out that the names of _persons_ belong to you
next.”
“So they do,” replied Mr. Noun; “no matter who the persons are, their
names belong to me. I have the name of every person in the world from
good Queen Victoria on her throne to the raggedest beggar-boy in the
street. There is not a child in Schoolroom-shire whose name is not a
noun. And I have not the names of _people_ only, but of all pet dogs,
cats, birds, horses, or rabbits: _Fido_, _Tabby_, _Bright-eye_, _Tiny_,
_Shag_, and any other pet names you can think of. Indeed, I am very
particular about such names. I call them _proper nouns_, and expect
them always to be written with a capital letter.”
“Proper nouns?” repeated Serjeant Parsing. “Then what are the other
nouns called?”
“They are only _common_ nouns,” answered Mr. Noun, carelessly.
“Then all names are common nouns, except the names of persons or
animals, are they?” asked Serjeant Parsing.
“No, no, no,” said Mr. Noun, quite crossly: “the name of an animal is
not a proper noun unless it is the own special name of one animal, that
marks it from other animals of the same kind. _Dog_ is the name given
to all dogs, they have the name in common between them; but _Fido_ is
the name of one particular dog, his own proper name by which his master
calls him. So _dog_ is a common noun, _Fido_ is a proper noun.”
“Oh, I see,” said Serjeant Parsing. “Then the particular name of any
person or animal is a proper noun, and all other names are common
nouns.”
“I never said that,” exclaimed Mr. Noun. “How very stup---- I mean, you
do not understand me, my dear sir. I never said that the particular
name of a place or thing was not a proper noun too. Every particular
and special name, whether of a person, an animal, a place, or a thing,
is a proper noun. Every place has its own proper name, or should have.
Every country and mountain and river and town in Europe is named with
a _proper_ noun. Why, you would not call _England_ a common noun, I
should hope? There are plenty of countries in the world, but there is
only one country that is called by the proper name of dear old England.
_Country_ is a common noun, all countries have it in common, but when
you want to speak of any particular country you use the proper nouns,
_England_, _Scotland_, _Ireland_, _France_, _etc._, _etc._”
“Well, I think we can understand that the particular names of _places_
are proper nouns,” said Serjeant Parsing; “but you spoke about _things_
also. Surely things have no proper names? You do not give names to
chairs and tables, and call them Mr. Leanback or Squire Mahogany?”
“Not exactly,” answered Mr. Noun; “we do not name chairs and tables
with proper names, but what do you say to houses? They are _things_,
are they not? And you may have heard of such names as _Marlborough
House_, _Springfield Cottage_, _Ivy Lodge_.”
“Well, no other things besides houses have proper names, have they?”
said Serjeant Parsing.
“Books are things,” said Mr. Noun, “and they all have proper names. So
have ships and boats, _Warrior_, _Seafoam_, _Fairy_, or something of
that sort. I have heard of a cannon which was called _Roarer_, and you
ought to know that King Arthur’s sword was named _Excalibur_. Indeed,
you can give a proper name to anything you like that you want to
distinguish from other things of the same sort.”
“And all such proper names, or proper nouns, as you call them, must be
written with a capital letter, must they? Whether they are the names of
persons, animals, places, or things, little or big?”
“Sir,” answered Mr. Noun, “littleness or bigness makes no difference.
If you had a pet fly, and called it Silver-wing, Silver-wing must be
written with a capital S, because it is a proper noun.”
“Well, Mr. Noun,” said Serjeant Parsing, “your ideas of what is
_proper_ seem to me rather peculiar, but I suppose Dr. Syntax has no
objection, so I will say nothing.”
Dr. Syntax silently bowed his head.
The Judge then spoke. “Mr. Noun, you have claimed a great many words,
and it remains to be seen whether all the other Parts-of-Speech agree
to these words being yours. In order to find out whether they do or
no, I will ask our friends from Schoolroom-shire to write out, each of
them, a list of twenty names, the names of anything they can _see_,
_hear_, _touch_, _taste_, _smell_, or _think about_, or the _proper_
names of any persons, animals, places, or things they know; and when
next we meet I will read out what they have written, and we shall hear
whether any one has any good reason to give why they should not be
called nouns.”
The Judge then rose from his seat, and every one left the court.
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