A JAIL EPISODE.
While in the full enjoyment of that luxury, "A Taste of Austrian Jails,"
already related in these pages, I met with a man whose whole life would
seem to signify perversion; a "dirty, villanous-looking fellow, with but
one eye, and very little light in that." A first glance at this fellow
would call up the reflection, "Here is the result of bad education, and
bad example, induced perhaps by natural misfortunes, but the inevitable
growth of filth and wretchedness in a large city."
With thin, straggling wisps of hair thrown, as it were, on his head, a
dull glimmer only in his one eye, and his whole features of a crafty,
selfish character--such he was; clad in a long, threadbare,
snuff-coloured great-coat, reaching almost to his heels, and which served
to hide the trowsers, the frayed ends of which explained their condition;
on his bare feet he wore a pair of trodden-down slippers, with upper
leathers gaping in front with open mouths; a despicable rascal to look
at, and yet this was a brother of one of the magistrates of Vienna.
It was soon evident to me that this individual was held in great respect
by the rest of the prisoners; such an influence has education,--for he
was an educated man,--even in such a place as a common jail.
I was soon informed of the peculiar talent which gave him a prominent
position. He was an inexhaustible teller of stories; and, added my
informant, "he can drink as much beer as any three men in Vienna."
This was saying a great deal.
On the second night of my incarceration in Punishment Room No. 1, I had
an opportunity of judging of his powers; for, on our retiring to our
boards and rugs, which, according to prison regulations, we were bound to
do at the ringing of the eight o'clock bell, I heard his peculiar voice
announce from the other side of the room, where he lay, propped up
against the wall by the especial indulgence of his comrades, that he was
about to tell a story. I could not sleep, but lay upon the hard planks
listening, as he recounted with a wonderful power of language, and no
mean amount of elocutionary dignity, some principal incidents in the life
of Napoleon. His companions lay entranced; they did not sleep, for I
could hear their whispers, and, now and then, their uneasy shiftings on
the relentless wood. And so he went on, and I fell off to sleep before
he had come to a conclusion.
This was repeated each night of my confinement, for which he received his
due payment in beer from his fellow prisoners.
He professed to have a great affection for me; would take my arm, and
walk with me up and down the ward, telling me of his acquirements, little
scraps of his history, and invariably making a request for a little beer.
On one occasion it was suggested by the "Vater" that he should tell us
his own story.
"My story!" chuckled the unashamed rascal. "Why, all Vienna knows my
story. I am the brother of Rathherr Lech, of the
Imperial-royal-city-police-bureau of Vienna. My brother is a great man;
I am a vagabond. _He_ deserves it, and _I_ deserve it; but he is my
brother for all that, and I put him in mind of it now and then.
"My brother, by his zeal and talent, has acquired great learning, and
raised himself to a position of honour and independence. And why have I
not done the same? Because I am lazy, have got weak eyes, and am fond of
beer. I do not care for your wine; good Liesinger beer is the drink for
me.
"My brother wished me to attain a lofty position in the world. I am the
younger. He paid teachers to instruct me, and I learned a great deal;
but it was dry work, and I sought change, after days of study, in
beer-cellars, among a few choice boosers. And my eyes were weak, and
close study made them worse; and many a day I stole from my lessons on
the plea of failing sight. My brother, who is a good fellow, only that
he does not sufficiently consider my weakness, employed physicians and
oculists out of number; and among them I lost the sight of one eye. It
was of no use; I did not like the labour of learning, and I made my weak
eyes an excuse for doing less than I could have done.
"At last I gave it up altogether, and my brother got me into the
'Institute for the Blind.' _That_ would not do for me at all; I was not
blind enough for _that_. So, one day, when the door was open, and the
weather fine, I strolled home again to my brother. This vexed him
greatly; but he got over it, and then he placed me in the 'Imperial
Bounty.' A stylish place, I can tell you, where few but nobles were
allowed.
"But how could I, a lusty young fellow, be happy among that moping,
musty, crampt-up lot of old respectables? Not I! so, as I could not
easily get out in the day-time, I ran away one night, and went back to my
old quarters. At first my brother would not see me; but that passed
over, for he could not let me starve. He then obtained for me a post in
the 'Refuge for the Aged;' about the dullest place in all Vienna. I was
too young to be one of the members, so they gave me a birth, where I did
nothing. But what was the use of that? I could not live among that
company of mumbling, bible-backed old people; and if I could, it was all
the same, for they kicked me out at the end of a month for impropriety.
"It was lucky for me that I tumbled into a legacy about this time, of
eighty gulden munz. I enjoyed myself while it lasted, and never troubled
my brother with my presence.
"It did not last long; for, what with drinking beer, and wearing fine
clothes, and taking a dashing lodging on the Glacis, I found my eighty
guldens gone, just as I was in a position to enjoy them most. But I was
never very proud; so, seeing that there was nothing to be done, but to go
without beer, or to humble myself to my brother, the rath, I chose the
latter course as the most reasonable, and made my peace with him at once.
"And what do you suppose he did for me? He said I had disgraced myself
and him at all the other places, so he could do nothing but send me to
the 'Asylum for the Indigent.' But I did not stay there long. There was
no beer there; nothing but thin soup and rind-fleish (fresh boiled beef)
all the year round. And a pretty lot of ill-bred, miserable ignoramuses
they were--the indigent! Not a spark of life or jollity in the place.
"One day I coolly walked out of the 'Asylum,' made off to a house I well
knew, and ran up a credit account in my brother's name of good eight
guldens for beer and tobacco. A glorious day! for I forgot all about the
'asylum,' and the 'indigent,' and every mortal pain and trouble in this
inconvenient world.
"I was awakened from a deep dream by a heavy hand on my shoulder, and a
loud voice in my ear.
"'Holloa! friend Lech.'
"'What's the matter?' inquired I, gaping.
"'Get up, and I'll tell you.'
"'Who are you?'
"'You'll know that soon enough; I am a police officer.'
"'And where am I, in God's name?'
"'Why, lying on your back, on the open Glacis.'
"That was pleasant, was it not? So they took me to the police-bureau, in
the first case, for lying out in the open air; and when they found that I
had used my brother's name to incur a debt, without his permission, they
gave me two months for fraudulent intentions.
"'Why did you not stay at the "Bounty?"' expostulated my friend, the
police-assistant, as we were talking the matter over.
"'Because it was too aristocratic and uncomfortable,' answered I.
"'Perhaps the Rathherr, your brother, will be able to get you into the
"Refuge,"' said he, in a consoling way.
"'God bless you! they have kicked me out of there long ago.'
"'Then I know of nothing but the "Indigent" left for you.'
"'My worthy friend,' said I, 'that is the very last place I came from.'
"But I was determined to be revenged. When my time was expired, I
sallied forth with my mind fully made up as to what I was to do. I knew
the hour when my brother, in pursuance of his duties, usually entered the
magistrate's office, and, attired as I was--look at me! just as I am
now--in this old coat, the souvenir of the 'Indigent,' and these
free-and-easy slippers, I waited at the great entrance of the Magistracy,
to pay my respects to my brother, the Rath.
"I saw him coming; and, as soon as he reached the foot of the flight of
stone steps, I marched forward, gave him a mock salute, and exclaimed, in
a loud voice,
"'Good morning, brother!'
"'What is the meaning of this?' demanded he.
"'Look here, brother!' said I, 'look at this coat, and these shoes.'
"'Remove this fellow!' exclaimed he to the police, who were standing at
his heels.
"I knew what would be the result, but had determined to have the play
out. So I drew off my slipper, and, thrusting my hand right through the
hole at the toe, I made a bit of play with my fingers, and shouted in his
ear:
"'Look at this, brother. Are you not ashamed to see me? Look here!
Look at this kripple-gespiel (puppet show)! Look!'
"Of course I was laid hold of; and here I am for another two months, for
insulting a city functionary."
This story was received with a glee only equalled by the gusto with which
it was related. The last expression, "kripple-gespiel," was peculiarly
his own.
Before leaving Vienna, about a month after my release, I had determined
to see the Bruhl, a wild, wooded, and mountainous district, at a short
distance from the city. We had spent a delightful day among its thick
pine woods, and on its towering heights, and in the evening made our way
to the small town of Modling, where we intended to take the railway to
Vienna. But there was a grand fete in the pleasure grounds close to the
town, accompanied by a magnificent display of fireworks. This whiled
away the time, and it was already dark, as we at length bent our steps
towards the railway station.
Suddenly a voice that I knew too well, struck upon my ear.
"Pity the poor blind!" it exclaimed.
I turned, and behold! there was my one-eyed jail acquaintance, planted
against a brick wall, a stout staff, at least six feet long, in his hand,
and his apparently sightless eyes turned up to the sky.
"Pity the poor blind!"
In the greatest fear lest, even in his present blind condition, he might
recognise, and claim me as an acquaintance, I hurried from the spot with
all the speed of which I was capable, and, thank Heaven, never set eyes
upon him again.