Meanwhile, Fathom and his engine were busied in completing his equipage,
so that in a few days he had procured a very gay chariot, adorned with
painting, gilding, and a coat of arms, according to his own fancy and
direction. The first use he made of this vehicle was that of visiting
the young nobleman from whom he had received such important civilities on
the road, in consequence of an invitation at parting, by which he learned
his title and the place of his abode in London.
His lordship was not only pleased, but proud to see such a stranger at
his gate, and entertained him with excess of complaisance and
hospitality; insomuch that, by his means, our hero soon became acquainted
with the whole circle of polite company, by whom he was caressed for his
insinuating manners and agreeable conversation. He had thought proper to
tell the nobleman, at their first interview in town, that his reasons for
concealing his knowledge of the English tongue were now removed, and that
he would no longer deny himself the pleasure of speaking a language which
had been always music to his ear. He had also thanked his lordship for
his generous interposition at the inn, which was an instance of that
generosity and true politeness which are engrossed by the English people,
who leave nought to other nations but the mere shadow of these virtues.
A testimony like this, from the mouth of such a noble stranger, won the
heart of the peer, who professed a friendship for him on the spot, and
undertook to see justice done to his lacquey, who in a short time was
gratified with a share of the seizure which had been made upon his
information, amounting to fifty or sixty pounds.
Ferdinand put not forth the whole strength of his accomplishments at
once, but contrived to spring a new mine of qualification every day, to
the surprise and admiration of all his acquaintance. He was gifted with
a sort of elocution, much more specious than solid, and spoke on every
subject that occurred in conversation with that familiarity and ease,
which, one would think, could only be acquired by long study and
application. This plausibility and confidence are faculties really
inherited from nature, and effectually serve the possessor, in lieu of
that learning which is not to be obtained without infinite toil and
perseverance. The most superficial tincture of the arts and sciences in
such a juggler, is sufficient to dazzle the understanding of half
mankind; and, if managed with circumspection, will enable him even to
spend his life among the literati, without once forfeiting the character
of a connoisseur.
Our hero was perfectly master of this legerdemain, which he carried to
such a pitch of assurance, as to declare, in the midst of a mathematical
assembly, that he intended to gratify the public with a full confutation
of Sir Isaac Newton's philosophy, to the nature of which he was as much a
stranger as the most savage Hottentot in Africa. His pretensions to
profound and universal knowledge were supported not only by this kind of
presumption, but also by the facility with which he spoke so many
different languages, and the shrewd remarks he had made in the course of
his travels and observation.
Among politicians, he settled the balance of power upon a certain
footing, by dint of ingenious schemes, which he had contrived for the
welfare of Europe. With officers, he reformed the art of war, with
improvements which had occurred to his reflection while he was engaged in
a military life. He sometimes held forth upon painting, like a member of
the Dilettanti club. The theory of music was a theme upon which he
seemed to expatiate with particular pleasure. In the provinces of love
and gallantry, he was a perfect Oroondates. He possessed a most
agreeable manner of telling entertaining stories, of which he had a large
collection; he sung with great melody and taste, and played upon the
violin with surprising execution. To these qualifications let us add his
affability and pliant disposition, and then the reader will not wonder
that he was looked upon as the pattern of human perfection, and his
acquaintance courted accordingly.
While he thus captivated the favour and affection of the English
nobility, he did not neglect to take other measures in behalf of the
partnership to which he had subscribed. The adventure with the two
squires at Paris had weakened his appetite for play, which was not at all
restored by the observations he had made in London, where the art of
gaming is reduced into a regular system, and its professors so laudably
devoted to the discharge of their functions, as to observe the most
temperate regimen, lest their invention should be impaired by the fatigue
of watching or exercise, and their ideas disturbed by the fumes of
indigestion. No Indian Brachman could live more abstemious than two of
the pack, who hunted in couple, and kennelled in the upper apartments of
the hotel in which our adventurer lived. They abstained from animal food
with the abhorrence of Pythagoreans, their drink was a pure simple
element, they were vomited once a week, took physic or a glyster every
third day, spent the forenoon in algebraical calculations, and slept from
four o'clock till midnight, that they might then take the field with that
cool serenity which is the effect of refreshment and repose.
These were terms upon which our hero would not risk his fortune; he was
too much addicted to pleasure to forego every other enjoyment but that of
amassing; and did not so much depend upon his dexterity in play as upon
his talent of insinuation, which, by this time, had succeeded so far
beyond his expectation, that he began to indulge the hope of enslaving
the heart of some rich heiress, whose fortune would at once raise him
above all dependence. Indeed, no man ever set out with a fairer prospect
on such an expedition; for he had found means to render himself so
agreeable to the fair sex, that, like the boxes of the playhouse, during
the representation of a new performance, his company was often bespoke
for a series of weeks; and no lady, whether widow, wife, or maiden, ever
mentioned his name, without some epithet of esteem or affection; such as
the dear Count! the charming Man! the Nonpareil, or the Angel!
While he thus shone in the zenith of admiration, it is not to be doubted,
that he could have melted some wealthy dowager or opulent ward; but,
being an enemy to all precipitate engagements, he resolved to act with
great care and deliberation in an affair of such importance, especially
as he did not find himself hurried by the importunities of want; for,
since his arrival in England, he had rather increased than exhausted his
finances, by methods equally certain and secure. In a word, he, with the
assistance of Ratchcali, carried on a traffic, which yielded great
profits, without subjecting the trader to the least loss or
inconvenience. Fathom, for example, wore upon his finger a large
brilliant, which he played to such advantage one night, at a certain
nobleman's house, where he was prevailed upon to entertain the company
with a solo on the violin, that everybody present took notice of its
uncommon lustre, and it was handed about for the perusal of every
individual. The water and the workmanship were universally admired; and
one among the rest having expressed a desire of knowing the value of such
a jewel, the Count seized that opportunity of entertaining them with a
learned disquisition into the nature of stones; this introduced the
history of the diamond in question, which he said had been purchased of
an Indian trader of Fort St. George, at an under price; so that the
present proprietor could afford to sell it at a very reasonable rate; and
concluded with telling the company, that, for his own part, he had been
importuned to wear it by the jeweller, who imagined it would have a
better chance for attracting a purchaser on his finger, than while it
remained in his own custody.
This declaration was no sooner made, than a certain lady of quality
bespoke the refuse of the jewel, and desired Ferdinand to send the owner
next day to her house, where he accordingly waited upon her ladyship with
the ring, for which he received one hundred and fifty guineas, two-thirds
of the sum being clear gain, and equally divided betwixt the associates.
Nor was this bargain such as reflected dishonour upon the lady's taste,
or could be productive of ill consequences to the merchant; for the
method of estimating diamonds is altogether arbitrary; and Ratchcali, who
was an exquisite lapidary, had set it in such a manner as would have
imposed upon any ordinary jeweller. By these means of introduction, the
Tyrolese soon monopolised the custom of a great many noble families, upon
which he levied large contributions, without incurring the least
suspicion of deceit. He every day, out of pure esteem and gratitude for
the honour of their commands, entertained them with the sight of some new
trinket, which he was never permitted to carry home unsold; and from the
profits of each job, a tax was raised for the benefit of our adventurer.
Yet his indultos were not confined to the article of jewels, which
constituted only one part of his revenue. By the industry of his
understrapper, he procured a number of old crazy fiddles, which were
thrown aside as lumber; upon which he counterfeited the Cremona mark, and
otherwise cooked them up with great dexterity; so that, when he had
occasion to regale the lovers of music, he would send for one of these
vamped instruments, and extract from it such tones as quite ravished the
hearers; among whom there was always some conceited pretender, who spoke
in raptures of the violin, and gave our hero an opportunity of launching
out in its praise, and declaring it was the best Cremona he had ever
touched. This encomium never failed to inflame the desires of the
audience, to some one of whom he was generous enough to part with it at
prime cost--that is, for twenty or thirty guineas clear profit; for he
was often able to oblige his friends in this manner, because, being an
eminent connoisseur, his countenance was solicited by all the musicians,
who wanted to dispose of such moveables.
Nor did he neglect the other resources of a skilful virtuoso. Every
auction afforded some picture, in which, though it had been overlooked by
the ignorance of the times, he recognised the style of a great master,
and made a merit of recommending it to some noble friend. This commerce
he likewise extended to medals, bronzes, busts, intaglios, and old china,
and kept divers artificers continually employed in making antiques for
the English nobility. Thus he went on with such rapidity of success in
all his endeavours, that he himself was astonished at the infatuation he
had produced. Nothing was so wretched among the productions of art, that
he could not impose upon the world as a capital performance; and so
fascinated were the eyes of his admirers, he could easily have persuaded
them that a barber's bason was an Etrurian patera, and the cover of a
copper pot no other than the shield of Ancus Martius. In short, it was
become so fashionable to consult the Count in everything relating to
taste and politeness, that not a plan was drawn, not even a house
furnished, without his advice and approbation; nay, to such a degree did
his reputation in these matters excel, that a particular pattern of
paper-hangings was known by the name of Fathom; and his hall was every
morning crowded with upholsterers, and other tradesmen, who came, by
order of their employers, to learn his choice, and take his directions.
The character and influence he thus acquired, he took care to maintain
with the utmost assiduity and circumspection. He never failed to appear
the chief personage at all public diversions and private assemblies, not
only in conversation and dress, but also in the article of dancing, in
which he outstripped all his fellows, as far as in every other genteel
accomplishment.