I alighted with my friend at the caravanserai where the coach had
stopped, and there he advised me to put up for the night, promising to
come on the following morning to assist me in procuring a lodging.
"But first tell me," said I, "who are the two persons who were so
violently opposed to each other."
"The fair man," said he, "is one of our _omrahs_ or lords; the other is
one of the middle ranks, who has made himself conspicuous by advocating
the cause of the people. Our whole country is principally divided into
two factions, holding their opinions. There is also a moderate set who
do not partake of their violence, but unfortunately their voice is not
sufficiently heard. But we will talk more upon these matters again,"
said he, and then left me.
The next day he came, and without much difficulty succeeded in settling
me in a lodging, where I found everything prepared to receive me, as
well as if the Shah's chief tent-pitcher had preceded me to give the
requisite orders. The English habits, which I had acquired when here
before in the days of our embassy, returned as fast as I recognised
the objects which before had been familiar to my sight, but which had
been much obliterated by my absence in Persia. I again sat upon chairs
instead of my heels; again I ate with knives and forks instead of my
fingers; and once more I found myself called upon to walk about upon my
own legs with the activity of a Franc, instead of making use of a horse
to take me daily to attend the Shah's selam, or to sit at the Royal
Gate in attendance upon the Grand Vizier.
I had always a memory for localities; places which I had once seen I
scarcely ever forgot; thus I was at no loss to find my way about the
city. Of the language I remembered enough to make myself understood;
and so far I felt independent, and needed not the attendance of
a _mehmander_. I thanked my friend Jan for all his kindness; and
assured him, whenever I was in any difficulty, or whenever I required
information upon matters relating to his country, I would not fail to
call upon him.
The lodgings in which I had taken up my abode were situated in a
large house that looked upon a garden inclosed by iron spikes. It
was a better sort of caravanserai, greatly resorted to by people of
all nations; Francs, from different parts of Frangistan, who spoke
each their different language, and adapted themselves as well as they
could to the manners of the English. I was visited by the landlord,
a well-looking, well-spoken man, and his wife, an elderly lady, who,
having come once to see, as the English frequently say, that I was
comfortable, did not again trouble me by their presence. I occupied two
rooms; one to sit in and receive my guests, the other to sleep in. My
servant, Mahboob, slept in another room close to mine.
My first care was to walk out to take a survey of the city, in order to
discover those symptoms of ruin and poverty which I had so frequently
been assured were spreading over England, and marking her downfall.
I soon found myself in a street, of whose magnificence I had no
recollection. It seemed composed of entirely new houses. The shops,
which were opened on each side, were so brilliant, and seemed to be so
overflowing with merchandise and riches of all sorts, that my senses
seemed to have escaped from my head as I looked on in astonishment;
and ever and anon I found myself standing with my finger in my mouth,
exclaiming, "Bah! bah! bah!" "Is this decay?" thought I. "Can this
people be really on the brink of ruin? There must be something more in
this than I can understand." The street was positively more thronged
with men and women than even one of the most crowded bazars of Ispahan.
I saw more carriages, more horses, more carts, and more stir, than I
recollected to have seen when here before. Every one seemed busy, and
bustled along, as if all depended upon their haste. Whence they were
coming, whither going, who could say? Were they all thinking of ruin,
or were they bent upon happiness? I was longing to stop and ask each
person what had happened, so very uncommon was this state of things
compared with what I had been accustomed to witness in my own country,
or even in the European countries through which I had travelled. I
continued to walk through this astonishing street, thinking I should
never come to the end of it, when I reached a magnificent opening,
where, to my still greater astonishment, I discovered an unbounded
prospect of dazzling white palaces, standing amidst gardens and fields,
and looking like the habitations of the blessed in the seventh heaven
promised to us by the Prophet. "Can this be decay?" again I exclaimed.
"These people must have a different way of going to ruin, to the one
which I have been accustomed to contemplate. In my country ruin speaks
for itself. At Ispahan we see whole districts of broken walls which
once were houses, tottering mosques, deserted baths, and untenanted
caravanserais. But here, in the short space of twelve years, here is a
new creation; unbounded prosperity seems here to speak for itself; and,
if this be a country of paupers, what are we to call riches?"
As I was turning my steps homewards, I was struck all at once with the
conviction that I was near the spot (a spot which had never left my
imagination) where, enamoured as I then was of the moonfaced Bessy,
I proposed marriage to that heart-enslaver. I looked about me, and
recognised the very portal where, under a mutual umbrella,--as it
poured with rain,--I told her of my love. I recollected that, not
very far off, in this same street, lived her father, and mother, and
family; and I determined forthwith to seek them out, and to renew my
acquaintance. I paced along the street, looking upon every house with
uplifted eyes, in the hope of discovering some sign by which I might
recognise it; but the buildings were all so hopelessly alike that I
began to despair of hitting upon the right knocker. It came to my mind
that a lion's head held the knocker, because I had compared it in
former days to the face of the mamma Hogg herself; but, upon inspecting
the knockers, they all had lions' heads. What was to be done? "I will
try what Fate will do for me," thought I. So, judging that I was
somewhere near the spot, I boldly walked up to a door, and gave a knock
which, I remembered to have been told, indicated a man of consequence,
and, as it turned out, I was not mistaken. The door was opened, not by
a well-dressed servant, as it used to be, but by an old woman, who was
so surprised at seeing my strange figure that she would have shut it in
my face had I not quickly exclaimed,
"Is Mr. Hogg at home?"
"Mr. Hogg!" she exclaimed, in an astonished voice. "Mr. Hogg has
been dead ever so long. Can't you see by the hatchment?" Upon which
she pointed to a painting fixed upon the outside of the house,
which explained to me, what I had never known before, that, when
an Englishman dies, it is the custom to make a painting, as I
supposed, explanatory of the history of his life; for, afterwards,
in contemplating the said performance, I remarked a boar's head at
the top, whilst certain little swine seemed to be scattered about,
evidently indicating the name and origin of the family.
"But Mrs. Hogg is not dead too?" said I; "where is she, and Mrs.
Figsby?"
"La! sir; you're the Persian prince, I declare," said the old woman,
"of whom we all talk so much about." Upon which, she immediately
undertook to give me a history of the family since I had left England.
The father Hogg, it seems, had died not many months ago of apoplexy;
his widow was living in a neighbouring street, in a small house, with
her eldest daughter, who was still unmarried. Mrs. Figsby (alas! my own
Bessy!) occupied a handsome house nearly opposite to the one at the
door of which I now stood, and which the old woman pointed out to me;
the youngest daughter had married, and lived in the country.
Leaving the old woman, I immediately crossed the street, and knocked
at the Figsby gate, not without a certain palpitation of the heart. It
was opened by a brilliantly-dressed servant in a gaudy _kalaat_, with a
thick paste of white dust upon his head, and a bunch of ropes as thick
as tent-ropes at his shoulder. Two others stood in the hall.
"Is Mrs. Figsby at home, by the blessing of the Prophet?" said I.
He said "Yes," with hesitation, eyeing me well from head to foot; and,
delivering me over to the keeping of another man without a _kalaat_,
I was walked up stairs. When we came to the head of the stairs, he
stopped, and asked,
"Who shall I say?"
"Mirza Hajji Baba," I answered, recollecting well the whole ceremonial.
Upon which he opened the door, and exclaimed aloud, as well as I could
understand, "Mister Hatchababy,"--or some such name.
"Mister who?" exclaimed a female within, whom, when I entered, I
immediately recognised to be my former love, the moonfaced Bessy. But,
oh! now different from the lovely Bessy I had known her! Instead of
that light cypress-waisted figure which had charmed me so much, she was
now grown into a woman fat enough to be a Turk's wife. Her cheeks were
rounded into coarse cushions, behind which reposed her almost secluded
eyes. The beautiful throat of former days was scolloped into graduated
ridges; and those arms, which formerly were lovely by themselves, were
now so bound over with broad belts of golden bracelets, that they
looked like the well-fitted hoops of a wine-cask. The hair, which
flowed in ringlets over her brow and down her cheeks, was now confined
to two lumps of curls, which were placed in a dense cluster on either
side of her forehead; and her whole person, which formerly gave her the
appearance of a Peri, now exhibited a surface agreeable only to the
silk-mercer and the milliner who were called upon to clothe it.
A faint blush threw itself out over her forehead when she perceived me,
and she immediately came forward with her hand extended, and welcomed
me back to her country with great sincerity. She expressed all sorts of
surprises at seeing me, particularly as I had never been announced in
the public newspapers; assured me that Mr. Figsby, who was not at home,
would be delighted to see me; sent for her children, and exhibited a
vast number to me of all sizes, boys and girls; and repeated to me what
I had just heard from the old woman, the circumstances in which her
family were placed.
I expressed my satisfaction at seeing her so richly circumstanced in
the world, and that she should have made a marriage with a man who
seemed to be a favourite of Fortune, and whose luck appeared to be ever
on the rise. At this she sighed, and her features assumed a saddened
expression.
"'Twas true," she said, "that Figsby could not complain, and that, as
long as it lasted, it was all very well. But, prince!" she exclaimed,
"this is not the country you once knew it to be! Things are sadly
altered! The people have got a reform, 'tis true; and Figsby is
rejoiced, and hopes to be returned for Marylebone, and, who knows
whether he may not sit in the cabinet one of these days? But the
aristocracy they won't be quiet, do what you will, and they will drive
us on to a revolution at last, and oblige us to put them down, and
divide all their property amongst us; and, you know, that will be sad
work, particularly if Figsby should be made a lord before it takes
place."
All this was new language to me, and brought to my mind the
conversation which I had heard in the coach. "What news is this?"
thought I, "that women should thus talk the language of viziers, and
mix themselves in the business of state!"
"I thought that Figsby Sahib was a grocer," said I, to his much-altered
wife.
"A grocer, indeed!" said she, with considerable angry emphasis. "He is
a West-India merchant! A grocer, indeed!"
"How long is it," said I, "since he has left his private business for
public life?"
"Don't you know," said she, "the changes which have taken place since
you were here last? Rotten boroughs and nomination boroughs have been
abolished. Schedule A. and schedule B. have been all the fashion
of late; we talk of nothing else; and there are to be members for
Marylebone, and Figsby is canvassing as hard as he can; and I am sure,
prince, if you can help him with a vote, you will."
"A vote!" said I, "what does that mean?"
"It means," she answered, with some hesitation, "that you wish Figsby
may become a member of parliament, and sit in the house, and make
speeches, and give franks, and all that."
"If it is only to wish your husband may be all you desire," said I, "in
the name of the Imams you shall have my vote, and welcome."
"That's right!" said Bessy; "that's right! that's being an old friend
in truth. I knew that you would be on the right side, and stick up for
the people."
"But who is the people? is he a new Shah, or what?"
"Oh, the people!" said she; "the people! they are the sovereign people!
They are all the men and women you see walking about; they want their
rights--their rights--that's all!"
"All the men and women walking about!" exclaimed I. "What news is this?
They have got a king already. What do they want more?"
"They have, 'tis true," said she; "but what is that without their
rights?"
"I don't know what you mean about their rights," said I; "but we have a
Shah, and I know that if any Persian wanted anything more, and talked
about his rights, all that he would get for his pains would be the
_felek_--a good bastinado on the soles of his feet; that's what he
would get."
"Oh, la!" said Mrs. Figsby, "that may do for Persians, but it won't do
for Englishmen. They must be fairly represented; and, if such men as
Figsby are not elected, it is a great shame, and the country will go to
rack and ruin."
At this stage of our conversation a knocking at the door was heard,
and soon after entered the moonfaced Bessy's husband. I immediately
recognised my former rival, but great changes had taken place in his
person also. In former days he was happy to be allowed to take the
lowermost place in the _mejlis_ or assembly; now he walked in with an
air of consequence and protection. He came into the room with a noise
and bustle; his boots creaked most independently; he was all over
chains; and seemed strangled from the tightness of his clothes. He soon
got over his surprise at seeing me; and, before he had done shaking my
hand, he exclaimed,
"All is going as it ought to be! I have been at the meeting. I made
such a speech, Bessy, you would have been quite charmed. There is no
doubt of my coming in. We shall beat the Tories hollow."
"That is charming!" said his overjoyed wife. "Then you will be an M.P.,
and who knows what else! And here is the prince," said she, "who is
ready to give you his vote."
"That's right!" said the entranced grocer. "That's very kind of him!
But stop! let me see; are you a ten-pound householder? is your name
stuck up against the church-door? and have you paid your shilling?"
"_Allah! Allah!_" I exclaimed. "What do I know of all this? I am
nothing but a Persian Mirza. I am ignorant of your ten-pounds, your
church-doors, and your shillings. Do leave off this child's play, and
let us talk of other things."
"Other things!" cried one.
"Child's play!" exclaimed the other.
"It is the only thing now thought of," said the man.
"It is of the greatest consequence to the state, and to Marylebone,
that Figsby should be elected!" vociferated the lady.
I found that I had put my unlucky leg foremost on this occasion, and
so I thought of making my retreat; but, before I did so, after having
observed a look of recognition between husband and wife, Mr. Figsby
stept up to me, and said,
"We shall have a few of my political friends to dine with me in a few
days; I hope, prince, that we may be honoured with your company?"
I said, "_Inshallah!_ please Allah!" and then returned to my home.