"Women are the mothers of the nation. The happiness of our life
depends on theirs. They have much to bear. If we neglect them we
neglect ourselves."
Having taken care by means of education to eradicate all incipient
faults in woman, to confirm her health, to increase her powers of
attraction, and fit her for the station which her talents and virtues
entitle her to fill, we take the best means to ensure that the maiden
shall at the proper age marry the man most pleasing to her, and most
likely to secure the happiness of both.
In every district a council of ladies, who have passed through certain
ordeals, and a council of elders, regulate all matters relating to
marriage. Over each of these presides a man of a certain age, and of
spotless character, whose qualities, actions, and mode of life have been
observed and recorded from early youth.
Let me more particularly describe how the lady makes choice of a
husband.
During thirty-one evenings in succession the girl intended for the
marriage state is placed in an assemblage composed of eighty-five young
men, one of whom she is expected to choose, but however quickly her mind
may be made up she is not allowed to announce her decision till the
thirty-first evening has arrived.
The eighty-five young men are selected by the councils from those only
who have declared their intention of marrying. Any man of the same rank
as the lady, who is desirous to be one of the eighty-five, is generally
nominated at once, and if the girl has any especial liking for one
particular person, she is allowed to communicate the fact privately to
one of the ladies of the council.
In cases, however, where both the councils are of opinion that there is
any serious objection to the eligibility of the young man, they have the
right to withhold the summons. This right they rarely exercise, and
never until after communicating with the lady where she has named the
gentleman. Every contingency is well considered; besides, the
regulations which govern every step connected with these meetings, and
the sacred feeling with which the councils regard the delicate trust
confided to them, prevent any inconvenience which might otherwise arise
from their proceedings.
At these meetings the girl wears a peculiar headdress with a star in
front, to distinguish her from other ladies who are allowed to be
present, but who however are expected not to pay court to the gentlemen.
It would have been unreasonable to require the exercise of so much self
denial under the old system, but an acquisition of the power of self
denial forms part of the training prescribed by my system of education,
and is now ordinarily practised when needed. This privilege of being
present is highly prized and eagerly sought by ladies, if only for one
of the thirty-one chosen evenings.
The gentlemen who wish to have their pretensions favourably viewed, pay
court to the young maiden of the star, and any gentleman who it is
thought may prove agreeable can be called by the lady of the council,
one of whom is always seated near the girl.
On occasions when some of the gentlemen present would rather not be
amongst the aspirants, it is amusing to see them retire behind the
others, hoping to escape without offence against the rules of good
breeding. Should one of these be called by the lady superior, he will
probably give himself awkward airs, and endeavour to be as little
engaging as possible. The maiden generally looks modest and blushing,
and needs the assistance of the lady superior, who is not unfrequently
obliged to represent her in conversation.
Before a week has elapsed the maiden of the star has generally intimated
by look, who is likely to be the selected one. Sometimes, however, she
is fickle, and when one, encouraged by her expressive glance, has paid
her court, she will encourage another and another, and another,--for on
these occasions she has full liberty of action.
It is amusing to see the efforts of pretenders, and the expression put
on, whilst overwhelming the lady with amiabilities when her thoughts and
perhaps her glances lie in another direction. She in turn may be obliged
to use all her power to attract the one she desires to select. If she be
a coquette, each one of many will think that he himself is the fortunate
swain on whom her choice will fall. The doubts existing in these
instances cause great excitement and amusement, and between the meetings
pearls against rubies, diamonds against diamonds, and other precious
stones are staked on the event.
Great is the agitation on the thirty-first evening, when the maiden is
expected to declare on whom her choice has fallen. She proclaims it by
presenting the chosen one with an appropriate flower, and thus is spared
the pain of a verbal declaration. A band of music then announces by a
particular and well-known strain that the choice is made, and a march is
played, to the measure of which the chosen one leads his intended to a
throne on a slightly raised dais.
Each of the gentlemen then approaches, successively
presenting to the maiden a flower,[1] which he lays on
the table in front of the dais, wishing her at the same
time happiness and joy.
[Footnote 1: See p. 126.]
The lady will perhaps kiss the flower presented when anxious to show
regard for the giver, whom, however, she has not been able to choose.
This ceremony of presenting flowers having been concluded, the future
bride and bridegroom lead the way to the banqueting-room.
On the evening following, a meeting of three hours' duration takes place
between the chosen one and the maiden, who is accompanied by the lady
superior of the marriage council. The two converse, and if after mutual
explanation anything incongruous is found, either party is at liberty to
object, and the marriage does not take place; but if the three hours
pass without objection no further question can be raised. The two are
then looked upon as betrothed, and after a certain interval the marriage
takes place.
It sometimes happens that at the meetings of the eighty-five the maiden,
distracted between contending aspirants, is unable to give the
preference to any. In that case she is put back for another year.
At the end of the year another assembly of young men is called; the
number invited is limited, however, to forty-five, and the evenings are
reduced to twelve. Should the lady again fail to select--a very
improbable occurrence--another and final assembly would be called for
the following year, the number of gentlemen being reduced to twenty-one,
and the evenings to seven, and if the lady should still remain undecided
she must be content to enjoy single blessedness during the rest of her
life. For my own part, I do not recollect more than one case where the
selection was postponed beyond the second year.