If you are put with a friend in a double-bedded room, bear in mind that
inside walls are only lath and plaster, and that every word you say will
be heard in the next room. Therefore carry on your conversation at the
tip-top of your voice, and make as much noise as you can in packing, and
in splashing, and in stumping round your room.
Always give to beggars who waylay you on the road, and if you know their
language, accompany your gift with a little stagey speech to the effect
that all we English have more money than we know how to spend, and it is
our duty when we travel to succour the distressed. This will mightily
encourage the impostors in their trade, and engender a great nuisance
for tourists who are poorer or less foolish than yourself.
* * * * *
SHE MEANT NOTHING WRONG.--_Curate to American Visitor._ How do you like
our church, Mrs. Golightly? It is very generally admired.
_Mrs. Golightly._ Yes, it's very pretty, but if it only had a clock
fitted on the tower, it would be _useful_ as well as ornamental.
* * * * *
[Illustration: TACTFUL SYMPATHY
_Genial Friend._ "Hullo, old man, getting on all right?"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: Our artist, while staying in the country, thinks it would
be a good opportunity for studying _calves_.]
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Yachting Man._ "Well, I always said you were a plucky
fellow, Splinter; but really, now, I did not give you credit----"
_Splinter_ (_not displeased_). "How do you mean?"
_Yachting Man._ "Why, with your spars, to put out in such a gale o' wind
as this."]
* * * * *