The chief corner-stone suddenly found wanting in the glittering fabric
of Mr. Titmouse's fortune, so that, to the eyes of its startled
architects, Messrs. Quirk, Gammon, and Snap, it seemed momentarily
threatening to tumble about their ears, was a certain piece of evidence
which, being a matter-of-fact man, I should like to explain to the
reader, before we get on any farther. In order, however, to do this
effectually, I must go back to an earlier period in the history than has
been yet called to his attention. I make no doubt, that by the
superficial and impatient _novel_-reader, certain portions of what has
gone before, and which could not fail of attracting the attention of
long-headed people, as not likely to have been thrown in for nothing,
(and therefore requiring to be borne in mind with a view to subsequent
explanation,) have been entirely overlooked or forgotten. However this
may be, I can fancy that the sort of reader whom I have in my eye, as
one whose curiosity it is worth some pains to excite, and sustain, has
more than once asked himself the following question, viz.--
How did Messrs. Quirk, Gammon, and Snap, first come to be acquainted
with the precarious tenure by which Mr. Aubrey held the Yatton
property?--Why, it chanced in this wise.
Mr. Parkinson of Grilston, who has been already introduced to the
reader, had succeeded to his father's first-rate business as a country
attorney and solicitor in Yorkshire. He was a highly honorable,
painstaking man, and deservedly enjoyed the entire confidence of all
his numerous and influential clients. Some twelve years before the
period at which this history commences, he had, from pure kindness,
taken into his service an orphan boy of the name of Steggars, at first
merely as a sort of errand-boy, and to look after the office. He soon,
however, displayed so much sharpness, and acquitted himself so
creditably in anything that he happened to be concerned in, a little
above the run of his ordinary duties, that in the course of a year or
two he became a sort of clerk, and sat and wrote at the desk it had
formerly been his sole province to dust. Higher and higher did he rise,
in process of time, in his master's estimation; and at length became
quite a _factotum_--as such, acquainted with the whole course of
business that passed through the office. Many interesting matters
connected with the circumstances and connections of the neighboring
nobility and gentry were thus constantly brought under his notice, and
now and then set him thinking whether the knowledge thus acquired could
not, in some way, and at some time or another, be turned to his own
advantage; for I am sorry to say that he was utterly unworthy of the
kindness and confidence of Mr. Parkinson, who little thought that in
Steggars he had to deal with--a rogue in grain. Such being his
character, and such his opportunities, this worthy had long made a
practice of minuting down, from time to time, anything of interest or
importance in the affairs of his betrayed master's clients--even
laboriously copying long documents, when he thought them of importance
enough for his purpose, and had the opportunity of doing so without
attracting the attention of Mr. Parkinson. He thus silently acquired a
mass of information which might have enabled him to occasion great
annoyance, and even inflict serious injury; and the precise object he
had in view, was either to force himself, hereafter, into partnership
with his employer, (provided he could get regularly introduced into the
profession,) or even compel his master's clients to receive him into
their confidence, adversely to Mr. Parkinson; and make it worth his
while to keep the secrets of which he had become possessed. So careful
ought to be, and indeed generally are, attorneys and solicitors, as to
the characters of those whom they thus receive into their employ. On the
occasion of Mr. Aubrey's intended marriage with Miss St. Clair, with a
view to the very liberal settlements which he contemplated, a full
"Abstract" of his "Title" was laid by Mr. Parkinson before his
conveyancer, in order to advise, and to prepare the necessary
instruments. Owing to inquiries suggested by the conveyancer, additional
statements were laid before him; and produced an opinion of a somewhat
unsatisfactory description, from which I shall lay before the reader the
following paragraph:--
"...There seems no reason for supposing that any descendant of
Stephen Dreddlington is now in existence;[22] still, _as it is by
no means physically impossible that such a person may be in esse_,
it would unquestionably be most important to the security of Mr.
Aubrey's title, to establish clearly the validity of the conveyance
by way of mortgage, executed by Harry Dreddlington, and which was
afterwards assigned to Geoffrey Dreddlington on his paying off the
money borrowed by his deceased uncle; since the descent of Mr.
Aubrey from Geoffrey Dreddlington would, in that event, clothe him
with an indefeasible title at law, by virtue of that deed; and any
equitable rights which were originally outstanding, would be barred
by lapse of time. But the difficulty occurring to my mind on this
part of the case is, that unless Harry Dreddlington, who executed
that deed of mortgage, survived his father, (a point on which I am
surprised that I am furnished with no information,) the deed itself
would have been mere waste parchment, as in reality the conveyance
of a person who _never had any interest_ in the Yatton
property--and, of course, neither Geoffrey Dreddlington, nor his
descendant, Mr. Aubrey, could derive any right whatever under such
an instrument. In that case, such a contingency as I have above
hinted at--I mean the existence of any legitimate descendant of
Stephen Dreddlington--_might have a most serious effect upon the
rights of Mr. Aubrey_."
Now every line of this opinion, and also even of the Abstract of Title
upon which it was written, did this quicksighted young scoundrel copy
out, and deposit, as a great prize, in his desk, among other similar
notes and memoranda,--little wotting his master, the while, of what his
clerk was doing. Some year or two afterwards, the relationship
subsisting between Mr. Parkinson and his clerk Steggars, was suddenly
determined by a somewhat untoward event; viz. by the latter's decamping
with the sum of £700 sterling, being the amount of money due on a
mortgage which he had been sent to receive from a client of Mr.
Parkinson's. Steggars fled for it--but first having bethought himself of
the documents to which I have been alluding, and which he carried with
him to London. Hot pursuit was made after the enterprising Mr. Steggars,
who was taken into custody two or three days after his arrival in town,
while he was walking about the streets, with the whole of the sum which
he had embezzled, _minus_ a few pounds, upon his person, in bank-notes.
He was quickly deposited in Newgate. His natural sagacity assured him
that his case was rather an ugly one; but hope did not desert him.
"Well, my kiddy," said Grasp, the grim-visaged, gray-headed turnkey, as
soon as he had ushered Steggars into his snug little quarters; "here you
are, you see--isn't you?"
"I think I am," replied Steggars, with a sigh.
"Well--and if you want to have a chance of not going across the water
afore your time, you'll get yourself _defended_, and the sooner the
better, d'ye see. There's _Quirk_, _Gammon_, and _Snap_--my eyes! how
they _do_ thin this here place of ours, to be sure! The only thing is to
get 'em soon; 'cause, ye see, they're so run after. Shall I send them to
you?"
Steggars answered eagerly in the affirmative. In order to account for
this spontaneous good-nature on the part of Grasp, I must explain that
old Mr. Quirk had for years secured a highly respectable criminal
practice, by having in his interest most of the officers attached to the
police-offices and Newgate. He gave, in fact, systematic gratuities to
these gentry, in order to get their recommendations to the persecuted
individuals who came into their power. Very shortly after Grasp's
messenger had reached Saffron Hill, with the intelligence that "there
was _something new in the trap_," old Quirk bustled down to Newgate, and
was introduced to Steggars, with whom he was closeted for some time. He
took a lively interest in his new client, to whose narrative of his
flight and capture he listened in a very kind and sympathizing way,
lamenting the severity of the late statute applicable to the case;[23]
and promised to do for him whatever his little skill and experience
_could_ do. He hinted however, that, as Mr. Steggars must be aware, a
_little_ ready money would be required, in order to fee counsel--whereat
Steggars looked very dismal indeed, and knowing the state of his
exchequer, imagined himself already on shipboard, on his way to Botany
Bay. Old Mr. Quirk asked him if he had no friends who would raise a
trifle for a "chum in trouble,"--and on Mr. Steggars answering in the
negative, he observed the enthusiasm of the respectable old gentleman
visibly and rapidly cooling down.
"But I'll tell you what, sir," said poor Steggars, suddenly, "if I
haven't money, I may have _money's worth_ at my command;--I've a little
box, that's at my lodging, which those that catched me knew nothing
of--and in which there is a trifle or two about the families and
fortunes of some of the first folk in the best part of Yorkshire, that
would be precious well worth looking after, to those who know how to
follow up such matters."
Old Quirk hereat pricked up his ears, and asked his young friend how he
got possessed of such secrets.
"Oh fie! fie!" said he, gently, as soon as Steggars had told him the
practices of which I have already put the reader in possession.
"Ah--you may say fie! fie! if you like," quoth Steggars, earnestly; "but
the thing is, not how they were come by, but what can be done with them,
now they're got. For example, there's a certain member of parliament in
Yorkshire, that, high as he may hold his head, has no more right to the
estates that yield him a good ten thousand a-year than I have, but keeps
some folk out of their own, that could pay some other folk a round sum
to be put in the way of getting their own;" and that--intimated the
suffering captive--was only _one_ of the good things he knew of. Here
old Quirk rubbed his chin, hemmed, fidgeted about in his seat, took off
his glasses, wiped them, replaced them; and presently went through that
ceremony again. He then said that he had had the honor of being
concerned for a great number of gentlemen in Mr. Steggars' "present
embarrassed circumstances," but who had always been able to command at
least a five-pound note, at starting, to run a heat for liberty.
"Come, come, old gentleman," quoth Steggars, earnestly, "I don't want to
go over the water before my time, if I can help it, I assure you; and I
see you know the value of what I've got! Such a gentleman as you can
turn every bit of paper I have in my box into a fifty-pound note."
"All this is moonshine, my young friend," said old Quirk, in an
irresolute tone and manner.
"Ah! is it, though? To be able to tell the owner of a fat ten thousand
a-year, that you can spring a mine under his feet at any
moment--eh?--and no one ever know how you came by your knowledge. And if
they wouldn't do what was handsome, couldn't you _get the right
heir_--and wouldn't _that_--Lord! it would make the fortunes of
half-a-dozen of the first houses in the profession!" Old Quirk got a
little excited.
"But mind, sir--you see"--said Steggars, "if I get off, I'm not to be
cut out of the thing altogether--eh? I shall look to be taken into your
employ, and dealt handsomely by"----
"Oh Lord!" exclaimed Quirk, involuntarily--adding quickly, "Yes, yes! to
be sure! only fair; but let us first get you out of your present
difficulty, you know!" Steggars, having first exacted from him a written
promise to use his utmost exertions on his (Steggars') behalf, and
secure him the services of two of the most eminent Old Bailey
counsel--viz. Mr. Bluster and Mr. Slang--gave Mr. Quirk the number of
the house where the precious box was, and a written order to the
landlord to deliver it up to the bearer: after which Mr. Quirk shook him
cordially by the hand, and having quitted the prison, made his way
straight to the house in question, and succeeded in obtaining what he
asked for. He faithfully performed his agreement, with Steggars; for he
retained both Bluster and Slang for him, and got up their briefs with
care: but, alas! although these eminent men exerted all their great
powers, they succeeded not in either bothering the judge, bamboozling
the jury, or browbeating the witnesses, (the principal one of whom was
Mr. Parkinson;) Steggars was found guilty and sentenced to be
transported for fourteen years.[24] Enraged at this issue, he sent a
message the next day to Mr. Quirk, requesting a visit from him. When he
arrived, Steggars, in a very violent tone, demanded that his papers
should be returned to him. 'Twas in vain that Mr. Quirk explained to him
again and again his interesting position with reference to his goods,
chattels, and effects--_i. e._ that, as a convicted felon, he had no
further concern with them, and might dismiss all anxiety on that score
from his mind. Steggars hereat got more furious than before, and
intimated plainly the course he should feel it his duty to pursue--viz.
that, if the papers in question were not given up to him as he desired,
he should at once write off to his late employer, Mr. Parkinson, and
acknowledge how much more he (Steggars) had wronged that gentleman and
his clients, than he supposed of. Old Quirk very feelingly represented
to him that he was at liberty to do anything that he thought calculated
to relieve his excited feelings: and then Mr. Quirk took a final
farewell of his client, wishing him health and happiness.
"I say, Grasp!" said he, in a whisper, to that grim functionary, as soon
as he had secured poor Steggars in his cell, "that bird is a little
ruffled just now--isn't he, think you?"
"Lud, sir, that's the nat'ralist thing in the world, considering"----
"Well--if he should want a letter taken to any one, whatever he may say
to the contrary, you'll send it on to Saffron Hill--eh? Understand?--He
may be injuring himself, you know;" and old Quirk with one hand clasped
the huge arm of Grasp in a familiar way, and with the forefinger of the
other touched his own nose, and then winked his eye.
"All right!" quoth Grasp, and they parted. Within a very few hours'
time, Mr. Quirk received, by the hand of a trusty messenger, from Grasp,
a letter written by Steggars to Mr. Parkinson; a long and eloquent
letter, to the purport and effect which Steggars had intimated. Mr.
Quirk read it with much satisfaction, for it disclosed a truly penitent
feeling, and a desire to undo as much mischief as the writer had done.
He (Mr. Quirk) was not in the least exasperated by certain very plain
terms in which his own name was mentioned; but making all due
allowances, quietly put the letter in the fire as soon as he had read
it. In due time Mr. Steggars, whose health had suffered from close
confinement, caught frequent whiffs of the fresh sea-breeze, having set
out, under most favorable auspices, for Botany Bay; to which distant but
happy place, he had been thus fortunate in early securing an
"_appointment_" for so considerable a portion of his life.
Such, then, were the miserable means by which Mr. Quirk became
acquainted with the exact state of Mr. Aubrey's title; on first becoming
apprised of which, Mr. Gammon either felt, or affected, great repugnance
to taking any part in the affair. He appeared to suffer himself, at
length, however, to be over-persuaded by Quirk into acquiescence; and,
that point gained--having ends in view of which Mr. Quirk had not the
least conception, and which, in fact, had but suddenly occurred to Mr.
Gammon himself--worked his materials with a caution, skill, energy, and
perseverance, which soon led to important results. Guided by the
suggestions of acute and experienced counsel, after much pains and
considerable expense, they had succeeded in discovering that precious
specimen of humanity, Tittlebat Titmouse, who hath already figured so
prominently in this history. When they came to set down on paper the
result of all their researches and inquiries, in order to submit it in
the shape of a case for the opinion of Mr. Mortmain and Mr. Frankpledge,
in the manner described in a former part of this history, it looked
perfect _on paper_, as many a faulty pedigree and abstract of title had
looked before, and will yet look. It was quite possible for even Mr.
Tresayle himself to overlook the defect which had been pointed out by
Mr. Subtle. That which is stated to a conveyancer, as _a fact_--any
particular event, for instance, as of a death, a birth, or a marriage,
at a particular time or place, which the very nature of the case renders
highly probable--he is warranted in assuming to be so. But when the same
statement comes--with quite a different object--under the experienced
eye of a _nisi prius_ lawyer, who knows that he will have to _prove_ his
case, step by step, the aspect of things is soon changed. "De non
_apparentibus_, et de non _existentibus_," saith the law, "eadem est
ratio." The first practitioner in the common law, before whom the case
came, in its roughest and earliest form, in order that he might "lick it
into shape," and "advise generally" preparatory to its "being laid
before counsel," was Mr. Traverse, a young pleader, whom Messrs. Quirk
and Gammon were disposed to take by the hand. He wrote a very showy, but
superficial and delusive opinion; and put the intended _protégé_ of his
clients, as it were by a kind of hop, step, and jump, into possession of
the Yatton estates. Quirk was quite delighted on reading it; but Gammon
shook his head with a somewhat sarcastic smile, and said he would at
once prepare a case for the opinion of Mr. Lynx, whom he had pitched
upon as the junior counsel in any proceedings which might be instituted
in a court of law. Lynx (of whom I shall speak hereafter) was an
experienced, hard-headed, vigilant, and accurate lawyer; the very man
for such a case, requiring, as it did, most patient and minute
examination. With an eye fitted
"To inspect a mite, not comprehend the heaven,"
he _crawled_, as it were, over a case; and thus, even as one can imagine
that a beetle creeping over the floor of St. Paul's, would detect minute
flaws and fissures invisible to the eye of Sir Christopher Wren himself,
spied out defects which much nobler optics would have overlooked. To
come to plain matter-of-fact, however, I have beside me the original
opinion written by Mr. Lynx; and shall treat the reader to a taste of
it--giving him sufficient to enable him to appreciate the very ticklish
position of affairs with Mr. Titmouse. To make it not altogether
unintelligible, let us suppose the state of the pedigree to be something
like this, (as far as concerns our present purpose:)--
(Dreddlington.)
|
+------------+-----------+
| |
(Harry Dreddlington.) (Charles Dreddlington.)
|
+---------------+--------------+
| |
(Stephen Dreddlington.) (Geoffrey Dreddlington.)
| |
===================== =======================
(A female descendant (A female descendant marries
marries _Gabriel Tittlebat_ CHARLES AUBREY, Esq.,
Titmouse_, through whom father of the present
TITTLEBAT TITMOUSE possessor.)
claims.)
Be pleased now, unlearned reader, to bear in mind that "_Dreddlington_"
at the top of the above table, is the common ancestor, having two sons,
the elder "_Harry Dreddlington_," the younger "_Charles Dreddlington_;"
the latter having, in like manner, two sons, "_Stephen Dreddlington_"
the elder son, and "_Geoffrey Dreddlington_" the younger son; that Mr.
Aubrey, at present in possession, claims under "_Geoffrey
Dreddlington_." Now it will be incumbent on Mr. Titmouse, in the first
instance, to establish in himself a clear, independent, legal, and
possessory title to the estates; it being sufficient for Mr. Aubrey,
(possession being nine-tenths of the law), to falsify Titmouse's proofs,
or show them defective--"because," saith a very learned sergeant, who
hath writ a text-book upon the Action of Ejectment, "the plaintiff in an
action of ejectment must recover upon the strength of his own title, not
the weakness of his adversary's."[25]
Now, _rebus sic stantibus_, behold the astute Lynx advising (inter alia)
in manner following; that is to say--
"It appears clear that the lessor of the plaintiff (_i. e._ Tittlebat
Titmouse) will be able to prove that Dreddlington (the common ancestor)
was seised of the estate at Yatton in the year 1740; that he had two
sons, Harry and Charles, the former of whom, after a life of
dissipation, appears to have died without issue; and that from the
latter (Charles) are descended Stephen, the ancestor of the lessor of
the plaintiff, and Geoffrey, the ancestor of the defendant. Assuming,
therefore, that the descent of the lessor of the plaintiff from Stephen
can be made out, as there appears every reason to expect, [on this point
Lynx had written two brief pages,] a clear _primâ facie_ case will have
been established on the part of the lessor of the plaintiff. As,
however, it is suspected that Harry Dreddlington executed a conveyance
in fee of the property, in order to secure the loan contracted by him
from Aaron Moses, it will be extremely important to ascertain, and, if
possible, procure satisfactory evidence that the decease of Harry
Dreddlington occurred before the period at which, by his father's death,
that conveyance could have become operative upon the property: since it
is obvious that, should he have survived his father, _that instrument,
being outstanding_, may form a complete answer to the case of the
lessor of the plaintiff.[26] The danger will be obviously increased
should the debt to Aaron Moses prove to have been paid off, (as it is
stated was rumored to have been the fact,) by Geoffrey Dreddlington, the
younger son of Charles Dreddlington; for, should that turn out to be the
case, he would probably have taken a conveyance to himself, or to
trustees for his benefit, from Aaron Moses--which being in the power of
the defendant, Mr. Aubrey, would enable him to make out a title to the
property, paramount to that now attempted to be set up on behalf of Mr.
Titmouse. Every possible exertion, therefore, should be made to
ascertain the precise period of the death of Harry Dreddlington. The
registries of the various parishes in which the family may have at any
time resided should be carefully searched; and an examination made in
the churches and churchyards, of all tombstones, escutcheons, etc.,
belonging, or supposed to belong, to the Dreddlington family, and by
which any light can be thrown upon this most important point. It appears
clear that Dreddlington (the common ancestor) died on the 7th August,
1742:--the question, therefore, simply is, _whether the death of his
eldest son (Harry) took place prior or subsequent to that period_. It is
to be feared that the defendant may be in possession of some better and
more direct evidence on this point than is attainable by the lessor of
the plaintiff. The natural presumption would certainly seem to be that
the son, being the younger and stronger man, was the survivor."[27]
The above-mentioned opinion of Mr. Lynx, together with that of Mr.
Subtle entirely corroborating it, (and which was alluded to in a late
chapter of this history,[28]) and a pedigree, were lying on the table,
one day, at the office at Saffron Hill, before the anxious and perplexed
partners, Messrs. Quirk and Gammon.
Gammon was looking attentively, and with a very chagrined air, at the
pedigree; and Quirk was looking at Gammon.
"Now, Gammon," said the former, "just let me see again where the exact
hitch is--eh? You'll think me perhaps infernally stupid, but--curse me
if I can see it!"
"See it, my dear sir? Here, _here_!" replied Gammon, with sudden
impatience, putting his finger two or three times to the words "_Harry
D._"
"Lord bless us! Don't be so sharp with one, Gammon! I know as well as
you that that's _about_ where the crack is; but what is the precise
thing we're in want of, eh?"
"Proof, my dear sir," replied Gammon, somewhat impatiently, but with a
smile, "of the death of Harry Dreddlington some time--no matter
when--previous to the 7th August, 1742; and in default thereof, Mr.
Quirk, we are all flat on our backs, and had better never have stirred
in the business!"
"You know, Gammon, you're better _up_ in these matters than I--(because
I've not been able to turn my particular attention to 'em since I first
began business)--so just tell me, in a word, what good's to be got by
showing that fellow to have died in his father's lifetime?"
"You don't show your usual acuteness, Mr. Quirk," replied Gammon,
blandly. "It is to make waste paper of that confounded conveyance which
he executed, and which Mr. Aubrey doubtless has, and with which he may,
at a stroke, cut the ground from under our feet!"
"The very thought makes one feel quite funny--don't it, Gammon?" quoth
Quirk, with a flustered air.
"It may well do so, Mr. Quirk. Now we _are_ fairly embarked in a cause
where success will be attended with so many splendid results, Mr.
Quirk--though I'm sure you'll always bear me out in saying how very
unwilling I was to take advantage of the villany of that miscreant
Steg--hem"----
"Gammon, Gammon, you're always harking back to that--I'm tired of
hearing on't!" interrupted Quirk, angrily, but with an embarrassed air.
"Well, now we're in it," said Gammon, with a sigh, and shrugging his
shoulders, "I don't see why we should allow ourselves to be baffled by
trifles. The plain question is, undoubtedly, whether we are to stand
still--_or go on_." Mr. Quirk gazed at Mr. Gammon with an anxious and
puzzled look.
"How d'ye make out--in a legal way, you know, Gammon--_when_ a man
died--I mean, of a _natural_ death?" somewhat mysteriously inquired
Quirk, who was familiar enough with the means of proving the exact hour
of certain _violent_ deaths at Debtor's Door.
"Oh! there are various methods of doing so, my dear sir," replied
Gammon, carelessly. "Entries in family Bibles and
prayer-books--registers--tombstones--ay, by the way, AN OLD TOMBSTONE,"
continued Gammon, musingly, "that would settle the business!"
"An old tombstone!" echoed Quirk, briskly, but suddenly dropping his
voice. "Lord, Gammon, so it would! That's an _idea_!--I call that a
decided idea, Gammon. 'Twould be the very thing!"
"The very thing!" repeated Gammon, pointedly. They remained silent for
some moments.
"Snap could not have looked about him sharply enough when he was down at
Yatton--could he, Gammon?" at length observed Quirk, in a low tone,
flushing all over as he uttered the last words, and felt Gammon's cold
gray eye settled on him like that of a snake.
"He could not, indeed, my dear sir," replied Gammon, while Quirk
continued gazing earnestly at him, now and then wriggling about in his
chair, rubbing his chin, and drumming with his fingers on the
table.--"And now that you've suggested the thing, [oh, Gammon!
Gammon]--it's not to be wondered at!--You know, it would have been an
old tombstone--a sort of fragment of a tombstone, perhaps--so deeply
sunk in the ground, probably, as easily to have escaped observation.
Eh?--Does not it strike _you_ so, Mr. Quirk?" All this was said by
Gammon in a musing manner, and in a very low tone of voice; and he was
delighted to find his words sinking into the eager and fertile mind of
his companion.
"Ah, Gammon!" exclaimed Quirk, with a sound of partly a sigh, and partly
a whistle, (the former being the exponent of the _true_ state of his
feelings, _i. e._ anxiety--the latter of what he wished to _appear_ the
state of his feelings, _i. e._ indifference.)
"Yes, Mr. Quirk?"
"You're a deep devil, Gammon--I _will_ say that for you!" replied Quirk,
glancing towards each door, and, as it were, unconsciously drawing his
chair a little closer to that of Gammon.
"Nay, my dear sir!" said Gammon, with a deferential and deprecating
smile, "you give me credit for an acuteness I feel I do not possess! If,
indeed, I had not had _your_ sagacity to rely upon, ever since I have
had the honor of being connected with you in business---- ah, Mr. Quirk,
you know you lead--I follow"----
"Gammon, Gammon!" interrupted Quirk, with an uncomfortable, but still a
mollified air, "Come--your name's _Oily_"----
"In moments like these, Mr. Quirk, I say nothing that I do not feel,"
interrupted Gammon, gravely, putting to his nose the least modicum of
snuff which he could take with the tip of his finger out of the huge box
of Mr. Quirk, who, just then, was thrusting immense pinches, every half
minute, up his nostrils.
"It will cost a great deal of money to find that same tombstone,
Gammon!" said Quirk, in almost a whisper, and paused, looking intently
at Gammon.
"I think this is a different kind of snuff from that which you usually
take, Mr. Quirk, isn't it?" inquired Gammon, as he inserted the tips of
his fingers a second time into the mechanically proffered box of Mr.
Quirk.
"The same--the same," replied Quirk, hastily.
"You are a man better fitted for serious emergencies, Mr. Quirk, than
any man I ever came near," said Gammon, deferentially; "I perceive that
you have hit the nail on the head, as indeed you _always_ do!"
"Tut! Stuff, Gammon; you're every bit as good a hand as I am!" replied
Quirk, with an evident mixture of pleasure and embarrassment. Gammon
smiled, shook his head, and shrugged his shoulders.
"'Tis that practical sagacity of yours, Mr. Quirk," said Gammon--"you
know it as well as I can tell you--that has raised you to your present
professional eminence!" He paused, and looked very sincerely at his
senior partner.
"Well, I must own I think I _do_ know a trick or two," quoth Quirk, with
a sort of _grunt_ of gratification.
"Ay, and further, there are _some_ clever men who never can keep their
own counsel; but are like a hen that has just laid an egg, and directly
she has risen, goes foolishly cackling about everywhere, and then her
egg is taken away; but _you_"----
"Ha, ha!" laughed Quirk; "that's _devilish_ good, Gammon!--Capital! Gad,
I think I see the hen! Ha, ha!"
"Ha, ha!" echoed Gammon, gently. "But to be serious, Mr. Quirk; what I
was going to say was, that I thoroughly appreciate your admirable
caution in not confiding to any one--no, not even to me--the exact
means by which you intend to extricate us from our present dilemma."
Here Quirk got very fidgety, and twirled his watch-key violently.
"Hem! But--hem! Ay--a--a," he grunted, looking with an uneasy air at his
calm astute companion; "I didn't mean so much as all _that_, either,
Gammon; for two heads, in my opinion, are better than one. You _must_
own that, Gammon!" said he, not at all relishing the heavy burden of
responsibility which he felt that Gammon was about to devolve upon his
(Quirk's) shoulders exclusively.
"'Tis undoubtedly rather a serious business on which we are now
entering," said Gammon; "and I have always admired a saying which you
years ago told me of that great man Machiavel"----
[Oh, Gammon! Gammon! You well know that poor old Mr. Quirk never heard
of the name of that same Machiavel till this moment!]--
"That 'when great affairs are stirring, a master-move should be confined
to the master-mind that projects it.' I understand! I see! I will not,
therefore, inquire into the precise means by which I am satisfied you
will make it appear, in due time (while I am engaged getting up the
subordinate, but very harassing details of the general case), that
_Harry Dreddlington died_ BEFORE _the 7th of August, 1742_." Here,
taking out his watch, he suddenly added--"Bless me, Mr. Quirk, how time
passes!--Two o'clock! I ought to have been at Messrs. Gregson's a
quarter of an hour ago."
"Stop--a moment or two can't signify! It--it," said Quirk, hesitatingly,
"it was _you_, wasn't it, that thought of the tombstone?"
"I, my dear Mr. Quirk"--interrupted Gammon, with a look of astonishment
and deference.
"Come, come--honor among thieves, you know, Gammon!" said Quirk, trying
to laugh.
"No--it shall never be said that I attempted to take the credit of"----
commenced Gammon; when a clerk entering, put an end to the colloquy
between the partners, each of whom, presently, was sitting alone in his
own room--for Gammon found that he was too late to think of keeping his
engagement with Messrs. Gregson; if indeed he had ever made any--which,
in fact, he had _not_. Mr. Quirk sat in a musing posture for nearly half
an hour after he and Gammon had separated. "Gammon _is_ a deep one! I'll
be shot if ever there was his equal," said Quirk to himself, at length;
and starting off his chair, with his hands crossed behind him, he walked
softly to and fro. "I know what he's driving at--though he thought I
didn't! He'd let me scratch my hands in getting the blackberries, and
then he'd come smiling in to eat 'em! But--share and share alike--share
profit, share danger, master Gammon;--you may find that Caleb Quirk is a
match for Oily Gammon--I'll have you in for it, one way or another!"
Here occurred a long pause in his thoughts, "Really I doubt the thing's
growing unmanageable--the prize can't be worth the risk!--_Risk_,
indeed--'fore gad--it's neither more nor less than"---- Here a certain
picture hanging, covered with black crape, in the drawing-room at Alibi
House, seemed to have glided down from its station, and to be hanging
close before his eyes, with the crape drawn aside--a ghastly object---
eugh! He shuddered, and involuntarily closed his eyes. "How devilish odd
that I should just _now_ have happened to think of it!" he inwardly
exclaimed, sinking into his chair in a sort of cold sweat.
"D--n the picture!" at length said he aloud--getting more and more
flustered--"I'll burn it! It sha'n't disgrace my drawing-room any
longer!" Here Quirk almost fancied that some busy little fiend sat
squatting before the grisly picture, writing the words "CALEB QUIRK" at
the bottom of it; and a sort of sickness came over him for a moment.
Presently he started up, and took down one of several well-worn
dingy-looking books standing on the shelves--a volume of Burns' Justice.
Resuming his seat, he put on his glasses, and with a little trepidation
turned to the head "Forgery," and glanced over it, divided as it was
into two great heads--"Forgery at _Common Law_, and Forgery _by
Statute_," with many able observations of the learned compiler, and
important "_cases_" cited. At length his eye lit upon a paragraph which
seemed suddenly to draw his heart up into his throat, producing a
sensation which made him involuntarily clap his hand upon his neck.
"Oh, Gammon!!" he muttered, drawing off his glasses, sinking back in his
chair, and looking towards the door which opened into Gammon's room;
extending at the same time, in that direction, his right arm, and
shaking his fist. "You _precious_ villain!--I've an uncommon
inclination," at length thought he, "to go down slap to Yorkshire--say
nothing to anybody--make peace with the enemy, and knock up the whole
thing!--For a couple of thousand pounds--a trifle to the Aubreys, I'm
sure. Were _I_ in his place, I shouldn't grudge it; and why should
he?--By Jove," he got a little heated--"that _would_ be, as Gammon has
it, a master-move! and confined, egad! to the master-mind that thought
of it!--Why should he ever know of the way in which the thing blew
up?--Really, 'twould be worth half the money to _do_ Gammon so hollow
for once--by George it would!--Gammon, that would slip Caleb Quirk's
neck so slyly into the halter, indeed!"
"I'll tell you what, Mr. Quirk," said Gammon, suddenly re-entering the
room after about an hour's absence, during which he too had, like his
senior partner, been revolving many things in his mind--"it has occurred
to me, that I had better immediately go down to Yatton, _alone_."
Hereat Mr. Quirk opened both his eyes and his mouth to their very
widest; got very red in the face; and stared at his placid partner with
a mingled expression of fear and wonder. "Hang me, Gammon!" at length he
exclaimed desperately, slapping his fist upon the table--"if I don't
think you're the very devil himself!"--and he sank back in his chair,
verily believing, in the momentary confusion of his thoughts, that what
had been passing through his mind was known to Gammon; or that what had
been passing through his (Quirk's) mind, had also been occurring to
Gammon, who had resolved upon being beforehand in putting his purposes
into execution. Gammon was at first completely confounded by Quirk's
reception of him, and stood for a few moments, with his hands elevated,
in silence. Then he approached the table, and his eye caught the
well-thumbed volume of Burns' Justice, open at the head "FORGERY!" and
the quicksighted Gammon saw how matters stood at a glance--the process
by which the result he had just witnessed had been arrived at.
"Well, Mr. Quirk, what new vagary now?" he inquired with an air of
smiling curiosity.
"Vagary be----!" growled old Quirk, sullenly, without moving in his
chair.
Gammon stood for a moment or two eying him with a keen scrutiny. "What!"
at length he inquired good-humoredly, "do you then really grudge me any
share in the little enterprise?"
"Eh?" quickly interrupted Quirk, pricking up his ears. "Do you intend to
play _Mackivel_! eh? What must you go down alone to Yatton for, Gammon?"
continued Quirk, anxiously.
"Why, simply as a sort of pioneer--to reconnoitre the churchyard--eh? I
thought it might have been of service; but if"--
"Gammon, Gammon, your hand! I understand," replied Quirk, evidently
vastly relieved--most cordially shaking the cold hand of Gammon.
"But understand, Mr. Quirk," said he, in a very peremptory manner, "no
one upon earth is to know of my visit to Yatton except yourself."
He received a solemn pledge to that effect; and presently the partners
separated, a little better satisfied with each other. Though not a word
passed between them for several days afterwards on the topic chiefly
discussed during the interview above described, the reader may easily
imagine that neither of them dropped it from his thoughts. Mr. Quirk,
shortly afterwards, paid one or two visits to the neighborhood of
Houndsditch, (a perfect hotbed of clients to the firm,) where resided
two or three gentlemen of the Jewish persuasion, who had been placed,
from time to time, under considerable obligations by the firm of Quirk,
Gammon, and Snap, in respect of professional services rendered both to
themselves and to their friends. One of them, in particular, had a
painful consciousness that it was in old Mr. Quirk's power at any time
by a whisper to place his--the aforesaid Israelite's--neck in an
unsightly noose which every now and then might be seen dangling from a
beam opposite Debtor's Door, Newgate, about eight o'clock in the
morning; him, therefore, every consideration of interest and of
gratitude combined to render subservient to the reasonable wishes of Mr.
Quirk. He was a most ingenious little fellow, and had a great taste for
the imitative arts--so strong in fact, that it had once or twice placed
him in some jeopardy with the Goths and Vandals of the law; who
characterized the noble art in which he excelled, by a very ugly and
formidable word, and annexed the most barbarous penalties to its
practice. What passed between him and old Quirk on the occasion of their
interviews, I know not; but one afternoon, the latter, on returning to
his office, without saying anything to anybody, having bolted the door,
took out of his pocket several little pieces of paper, containing pretty
little picturesque devices of a fragmentary character, with antique
letters and figures on them--crumbling pieces of stone, some looking
more and some less sunk in the ground, and overgrown with grass;
possibly they were designs for ornaments to be added to that tasteful
structure, Alibi House--possibly intended to grace Miss Quirk's album.
However this might be, after he had looked at them, and carefully
compared them one with another, for some time, he folded them up in a
sheet of paper, sealed it--with certainly not the steadiest hand in the
world--and then deposited it in an iron safe.