1
The room still had the same radiant air. Nothing looked worn. There was
not a spot anywhere. Bowls of flowers stood about. The Coalport tea
service was set out on the little black table. The drawn-thread work
table cover.... She had arranged the flowers. That was probably all she
did; going in and out of the garden, in the sun, picking flowers. The
Artist's Model and The Geisha and the Strand Musicals still lay about;
the curious new smell came from the inside of the piano. But there was
this dreadful tiredness. It was dreadful that the tiredness should come
nearer than the thought of Harriett. A pallid worried disordered face
looked back from the strip of glass in the overmantel. No need to have
looked. Always now, away from London, there was this dreadful
realisation of fatigue, dreadful empty sense of worry and hurry ...
feeling so _strong_ riding down through London, everything dropping
away, nothing to think of; off and free, the holiday ahead, nothing but
lovely, lonely freedom all round one.
2
Perhaps Harriett would be nervous and irritable. She had much more
reason to be. But even if she were it would be no good. It would be
impossible to conceal this frightful fatigue and nervousness. Harriett
_must_ understand at once how battered and abject one was. And it was a
misrepresentation. Harriett knew nothing of all one had come from; all
one was going to in the distance. Maddening.... Lovely; how rich and
good they looked, more honest than those in the London shops. Harriett
or Mrs. Thimm or Emma had ordered them from some confectioner in
Chiswick. Fancy being able to buy anything like that without thinking.
How well they went with the black piano and the Coalport tea-service and
the garden light coming in. Gerald did not think that women were
inferior or that Harriett was a dependent.... But Gerald did not think
at all. He knew nothing was too good for Harriett. Oo, _I_ dunno, she
would say with a laugh. She thought all men were duffers. Perhaps that
was the best way. Selfish babies. But Gerald was not selfish. He would
never let Harriett wash up if he were there. He would never pretend to
be ignorant of 'mysteries' to get out of doing things. I get out of
doing things--in houses. But women won't let me do things. They all know
I want to be mooning about. How do they know it? What is it? But they
like me to be there. And now in houses there's always this fearful worry
and tiredness. What is the meaning of it?
Heavy footsteps came slowly downstairs.
"I put tea indoors. I thought Miss Miriam'd be warm after her ride."
A large undulating voice with a shrewd consoling glance in it. She must
have come to the kitchen door to meet Harriett in the hall.
"Yes, I'ke spect she will." It was the same voice she had had in the
nursery, resonant with practice in speaking to new people. Miriam felt
tears coming.
"Hullo, you porking? Isn't it porking?"
"Simply porked to death my dear. Porked to _Death_" bawled Miriam
softly, refreshed and delighted. Harriett was still far off, but she
felt as if she had touched her. Even the end of the awful nine months
was not changing her. Her freshly shampooed hair had a leisurely glint.
There was colour in her cheeks. She surreptitiously rubbed her own hot
face. Her appearance would improve now with every hour. By the evening
she would be her old self. After tea she would play The Artist's Model
and The Geisha.
"Let's have tea. I was asleep. I didn't hear you come." She sank into
one of the large chairs, her thin accordion pleated black silk tea-gown
billowing out round her squared little body. Even her shoulders looked
broader and squarer. From the little pleated white chiffon chemisette
her radiant firm little head rose up, her hair glinting under the light
of the window behind her. She looked so fine--such a "fine
spectacle"--and seemed so strong. How did she feel? Mrs. Thimm brought
the teapot. The moment she had gone Harriett handed the rich cakes. Mrs.
Thimm _beaming_, shedding strong beams of happiness and approval....
"Come on" said Harriett. "Let's tuck in. There's some thin bread and
butter somewhere but I can't eat anything but these things."
"Can't you?"
"The last time I went up to town Mrs. Bollingdon and I had six between
us at Slater's and when we got back we had another tea."
"Fancy _you_!"
"I know. I can't '_elp_ it."
"I can't 'elp it, Micky. _Love_lay b-hird."
The fourth cup of creamy tea; Harriett's firm ringed hand; the gleaming
serene world; the sunlit flower-filled garden shaded at the far end by
the large tree the other side of the fence coming in, one with the room;
the sun going to set and bring the evening freshness and rise to-morrow.
Twenty-eight leisurely teas, twenty-eight long days; a feeling of
strength and drowsiness. Nothing to do but clean the bicycle and pump up
the tyres on the lawn, to-morrow. Nothing--after carrying the bicycle
from the coal cellar up the area steps and through the house into the
Tansley Street back yard. Nothing more but setting out after two nights
of sleep in a cool room.
3
"That your machine in the yard, Mirry?"
"Yes; I've hired it, thirty bob for the whole month."
"Well, if you're going a sixty mile ride on it I advise you to tighten
up the nuts a bit."
"I will if you'll show me where they are. I've got a lovely spanner. Did
you look in the wallet?"
"I'll have a look at it all over if you like."
"Oh Gerald you saint...."
"Now he's happy," said Harriett as Gerald's white flannelled figure
flashed into the sunlight and disappeared through the yard gate.
"Ph--how hot it is; it's this summer-house."
"Let's go outside if you like," said Miriam lazily, "it seems to me
simply perfect in here."
"It's all right--ph--it's hot everywhere," said Harriett languidly. She
mopped her face. Her face emerged from her handkerchief fever-flushed,
the eyes large and dark and brilliant; her lips full and drawn in and
down at the corners with a look of hopeless anxiety.
Anger flushed through Miriam. Harriett at nineteen, in the brilliant
beauty of the summer afternoon facing hopeless fear.
"That's an awfully pretty dress" she faltered nervously.
Harriett set her lips and stretched both arms along the elbows of her
basket chair.
"You could have it made into an evening gown."
"I loathe the very sight of it. I shall burn it the minute I've done
with it."
It was awful that anything that looked so charming could seem like that.
"D'you feel bad? Is it so awful?"
"I'm all right, but I feel as if I were bursting. I wish it would just
hurry up and be over."
"I think you're simply splendid."
"I simply don't think about it. You don't think about it except now and
again when you realise you've got to go through it and then you go hot
all over."
"The head's a bit wobbly," said Gerald riding round the lawn.
"Does that matter?"
"Well, it doesn't make it any easier to ride, especially with this great
bundle on the handle-bars. You want a luggage-carrier."
"I daresay. I say Gerald, show me the nuts to-morrow, not now."
The machine was lying upside down on the lawn with its back wheel
revolving slowly in the air.
"The front wheel's out of the true."
"What do you think of the saddle?"
"The saddle's all right enough."
"It's a Brooks's, B. 40; about the best you can have. It's my own and
so's the Lucas's Baby bell."
"By Jove, she's got an adjustable spanner."
"That's not mine nor the repair outfit; Mr. Leyton lent me those."
"And vaseline on the bearings."
"Of course."
"I don't think much of your gear-case, my dear."
"Gerald, do you think it's all right on the whole?"
"Well, it's sound enough as far as I can see; bit squiffy and wobbly. I
don't advise you to ride it in traffic or with this bundle."
"I _must_ have the bundle. I came down through Tottenham Court Road and
Oxford Street and Bond Street and Piccadilly all right."
"Well, there's no accounting for tastes. Got any oil?"
"There's a little oil can in the wallet wrapped up in the rag. It's
lovely; perfectly new."