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every English yeoman went to morning service with a stout yew bow on his
back, his quiver full of arrows; shot a buck on his way back (by permission
of the landlord), and sat down to his midday meal flanked by a tankard of
chill October--at this stage, it is true, there were signs of impatience
amongst town-bred Radicals, who wanted to know about the Bill.
[Illustration: Mr. G. dreams a Dream.]
But it was very beautiful, and those who, from natural taste, inborn
prejudice, or lamentable ignorance, did not care for it themselves, could
not fail to enjoy the supreme delight the occasion brought to the Minister
of Agriculture.
_Business done._--Small Holdings Bill introduced.
_Tuesday._--Two Right Rev. Bishops, Lord Bishop of ST. ASAPH and he of
SALISBURY, in Peers' Gallery for two or three hours tonight; attracted by
debate on Welsh Disestablishment. Bishop of SALISBURY couldn't restrain his
astonishment at scene.
"One of the profoundest and most important questions of the day," he
whispered in his right reverend brother's ear. "It is the attack upon the
outworks. Wales carried by the Liberation Society, we shall have them
leaping over the palings into our preserves. Should have thought, now, the
House of Commons would have been seething with excitement; benches crowded;
all the Princes of Debate to the fore; cheers and counter-cheers filling
the place. Whereas there are not, I should say, more than eighteen Members
present whilst the stout Gentleman down there is demonstrating how much
happier Wales is under the benediction of the Church than she would be
without. The whole thing reminds me, dear ST. ASAPH, of--er--well, of an
eight o'clock morning service in inclement weather."
"You're young, brother SARUM," said ST. ASAPH, "young, of course I mean, in
contradistinction to Old Sarum. When you've been a little longer in
Parliamentary life, you'll understand things better. These empty benches,
and the general appearance of being horribly bored presented by the small
congregation--which I may say finds eloquent expression on the face of our
friend JOHN G. TALBOT--simply mean that they have heard all these speeches
before, and have made up their minds on the subject. They are ready to
vote, but they will not remain to hear the speeches. As you say, in such
circumstances it would appear more businesslike to take the vote at once,
and get along with other work. But that is unparliamentary. This will be
kept going till there is just time left before the adjournment to divide.
_Then_ you'll see how dear is this question to the hearts of our friends,
and how virulent is the persistence of the adversary."
Turned out exactly as the Lord Bishop had said. After half-past ten,
Members trooped down in scores. When Prince ARTHUR rose to continue the
debate he was hailed with ringing cheer from embattled host. Pretty to see
how gentlemen to right of SPEAKER, mustered for defence of the Church, were
careful to contribute to fitness of things by wearing the clerical white
tie.
"Very nice indeed of them," said Young SARUM, rarely out so late at night,
but drawn back, after light repast, to watch the division taken. "I could
wish that, instead of the superabundance of shirt-front displayed, our
friends had selected more closely-buttoned vests, and that their coat-
collar fitted a little higher. But we cannot have perfection, and the white
tie at least indicates nice feeling."
_Business done._--Proposal to disestablish Church in Wales negatived by 267
Votes against 220.
_Wednesday._--PROVAND moved Second Reading Shop Hours' Bill, and, what's
more, carried it against Ministers. CAMPBELL-BANNERMAN tells me that,
though Scotch Members voted for Bill, result has cast a gloom over them.
Expecting PROVAND would lose, they were all prepared to say, in casual way,
"Ah, well, so the case is non-PROVAND." Some had, indeed, gone so far as
commence to write letters home enshrining this joke. These are now, of
course, waste-paper. Pity opportunity lost. Scotch language not rich in
provision of similar openings for wit.
_Business done._--Second Reading Shop Hours' Bill carried. Rare opportunity
for Scotch joke hopelessly lost.
_Thursday._--MIDLETON brought London Fog on again in Lords to-night. Asked
the MARKISS if he would have any objection to appointment of Joint
Committee to inquire into the matter? The MARKISS a great artist in words;
suits his conversation to the topic. His reply decidedly misty; wouldn't
say yes or no; talked about Joint Committees being a mysterious part of the
Constitution; didn't know how they were to be appointed; hinted at rupture
with Commons if proposal were made; wound up by saying that if Motion for
Committee were submitted, he would do his best to induce their Lordships to
adopt it.
Strangers in Gallery puzzled by this speech. But the Lords know all about
it. STRATHEDEN winked at CAMPBELL, and both noble Lords wagged their head
in admiration of MARKISS'S diplomacy; recognise deep design in involved
speech and well affected hesitation.
MARKISS, I hear, vexed with me letting the cat--I mean the fog, out of the
bag last week. But it's everybody's secret. The Government have made up
their mind to go to the country on the London Fog. This Joint Committee
will be appointed with least possible delay; a measure based on its Report
will be carried through both Houses; everything will be ready for return of
unsuspecting Fog Fiend next November.
"Sorry you mentioned it prematurely, TOBY," the MARKISS said, not unkindly.
"But you only forestalled the announcement by a few days. It's been in my
mind for months. The cry of Separation is growing a little shrill; Free
Education hasn't done us any good; Small Holdings only so-so. The Fog's the
thing! Grappling with that, all London rallies to our standard, and with
London at our back we can face the country."
[Illustration: Nurse Rendel taking care of her charge at Valescure, St.
Raphael, the Riviera.]
Curious instance of association of ideas and sympathy. So completely is
mind of Her Majesty's Ministers occupied with this Fog problem, that
to-night it got into House of Commons. LORD ADVOCATE brought in Bill
allocating Scotch Local Taxation grant. Debate went on for six hours; at
end of that time discovered that whole proceedings irregular. As involving
money question, introduction of Bill should have been preceded by
Resolution submitted to Committee of whole House. Debate abruptly
adjourned; evening wasted; howls of derision from Radicals.
"Never mind," said Prince ARTHUR, cheerily. "Let those laugh who win. This
is only another argument (perhaps not so accidental and undesigned as
people think) in support of our new Fog policy."
_Business done._--Night wasted in Commons. In Lords, light looms behind the
Fog.
_Friday._--News of Mr. G. speeding home over land and sea. All his friends
on Front Bench been begging him to stay longer in the Sunny South. No need
whatever for his return; things going on admirably; not missed in the
least; shocking weather here; better stay where he is.
"Ho, indeed!" said Mr. G., pricking up his ears and a dangerous light
flashing under his eyebrows. "I'm not wanted, ain't I? SQUIRE OF MALWOOD
getting along admirably in my shoes; doing well without me; not missed in
the slightest. Very well, then; _I'll go home._"
MACLURE, who has been in the confidence of great statesmen from DIZZY
downward, tells me Mr. G.'s homeward flight was hastened by curious dream.
Dreamt all his sheep were straying from fold; some going one way, others
another; each bent on his own particular business. In vain Mr. G. leaping
up and taking crook in hand, put hand to mouth and halloed them back to
Home-Rule fold. They went their way, some even making for Unionist
encampment, where Mr. G., moving heavily in his slumber, distinctly saw one
sheep regarding scene through an eyeglass.
"Only a dream of course," Mr. G. said, when he set off in the morning for a
twenty-mile walk. "But I think I may as well be getting back. Made up for
the Session; fit for anything. Nothing could have been kinder or more
watchful than Nurse RENDEL'S care of me; if I had been his son (which I
admit is chronologically difficult), couldn't have been better done to.
Only concerned just now for ARMITSTEAD. That young fellow, proud of his
chickenhood of sixty-seven years, brought me out to take care of me, and
freshen me up. Fancy I've worn _him_ out; instead of his taking care of me,
have to look after him! Shall be glad to get again within sound of Big Ben.
Spoiling for a fight. HARCOURT done very well; but he'll have to tuck in
his tuppenny and let me over into the Leader's place."
_Business done._--Miscellaneous.
* * * * *
[Illustration: "PASSING IT ON."
_Rupert_ (_just back from School, where he has been tremendously fagged_).
"LOOK HERE, ANGY, IF YOU BEHAVE DECENTLY, AND DON'T SMASH ANYTHING, YOU
SHALL FINISH THE JAM--_WHEN I'VE QUITE DONE_!"]
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