The dog sat uneasy--he shuffled with his feet--her eye was upon him--he
was, therefore, after the rebuff he had met with, afraid to look at me
for my motions; and now turned his eyes towards me, then from me, as if
he would unlook his own looks.
Cl. That all is true, that you have written, and that you have told me.
I gave him a right forward nod, and a frown--as much as to say, swear to
it, Captain. But the varlet did not round it off as I would have had
him. However, he averred that it was.
He had hoped, he said, that the circumstances with which his commission
was attended, and what he had communicated to her, which he could not
know but from his dear friend, her uncle, might have shielded him even
from the shadow of suspicion. But I am contented, said he, stammering,
to be thought--to be thought--what--what you please to think of me--till,
till, you are satisfied--
A whore's-bird!
Cl. The circumstances you refer to, I must own ought to shield you,
Sir, from suspicion; but the man before you is a man that would make an
angel suspected, should that angel plead for him.
I came forward,--traversed the room,--was indeed in a bl--dy passion.--I
have no patience, Madam!--and again I bit my unpersuasive lips.
Cl. No man ought to be impatient at imputations he is not ashamed to
deserve. An innocent man will not be outrageous upon such imputations.
A guilty man ought not. [Most excellently would this charming creature
cap sentences with Lord M.!] But I am not now trying you, Sir, [to me,]
on the foot of your merits. I am only sorry that I am constrained to put
questions to this worthier gentleman, [worthier gentleman, Jack!] which,
perhaps, I ought not to put, so far as they regard himself. And I hope,
Captain Tomlinson, that you, who know not Mr. Lovelace so well, as, to my
unhappiness, I do, and who have children of your own, will excuse a poor
young creature, who is deprived of all worldly protection, and who has
been insulted and endangered by the most designing man in the world, and,
perhaps, by a confederacy of his creatures.
There she stopt; and stood up, and looked at me; fear, nevertheless,
apparently mingled with her anger.--And so it ought. I was glad,
however, of this poor sign of love; no one fears whom they value not.
Women's tongues were licensed, I was going to say; but my conscience
would not let me call her a woman; nor use to her so vulgar a phrase. I
could only rave by my motions, lift up my eyes, spread my hands, rub my
face, pull my wig, and look like a fool. Indeed, I had a great mind to
run mad. Had I been alone with her, I would; and she should have taken
consequences.
The Captain interposed in my behalf; gently, however, and as a man not
quite sure that he was himself acquitted. Some of the pleas we had both
insisted on he again enforced; and, speaking low, Poor gentleman! said
he, who can but pity him? Indeed, Madam, it is easy to see, with all his
failings, the power you have over him!
Cl. I have no pleasure, Sir, in distressing any one; not even him, who
has so much distressed me. But, Sir, when I THINK, and when I see him
before me, I cannot command my temper! Indeed, indeed, Captain
Tomlinson, Mr. Lovelace has not acted by me either as a grateful or a
generous man, nor even as a prudent one!--He knows not, as I told him
yesterday, the value of the heart he has insulted!
There the angel stopt; her handkerchief at her eyes.
O Belford, Belford! that she should so greatly excel, as to make me, at
times, appear as a villain in my own eyes!
I besought her pardon. I promised that it should be the study of my
whole life to deserve it. My faults, I said, whatever they had been,
were rather faults in her apprehension than in fact. I besought her to
give way to the expedient I had hit upon--I repeated it. The Captain
enforced it, for her uncle's sake. I, once more, for the sake of the
general reconciliation; for the sake of all my family; for the sake of
preventing further mischief.
She wept. She seemed staggered in her resolution--she turned from me.
I mentioned the letter of Lord M. I besought her to resign to Lady
Betty's mediation all our differences, if she would not forgive me before
she saw her.
She turned towards me--she was going to speak; but her heart was full,
and again she turned away her eyes,--And do you really and indeed expect
Lady Betty and Miss Montague?--And do you--Again she stopt.