MR. LOVELACE
[IN CONTINUATION.]
We had at dinner, besides Miss Rawlins, a young widow-niece of Mrs.
Moore, who is come to stay a month with her aunt--Bevis her name; very
forward, very lively, and a great admirer of me, I assure you;--hanging
smirkingly upon all I said; and prepared to approve of every word before
I spoke: and who, by the time we had half-dined, (by the help of what she
had collected before,) was as much acquainted with our story as either of
the other two.
As it behoved me to prepare them in my favour against whatever might come
from Miss Howe, I improved upon the hint I had thrown out above-stairs
against that mischief-making lady. I represented her to be an arrogant
creature, revengeful, artful, enterprising, and one who, had she been a
man, would have sworn and cursed, and committed rapes, and played the
devil, as far as I knew: [I have no doubt of it, Jack!] but who, by
advantage of a female education, and pride and insolence, I believed was
personally virtuous.
Mrs. Bevis allowed, that there was a vast deal in education--and in
pride too, she said. While Miss Rawlins came with a prudish God forbid
that virtue should be owing to education only! However, I declared that
Miss Howe was a subtle contriver of mischief; one who had always been my
enemy: her motives I knew not: but despised the man whom her mother was
desirous she should have, one Hickman; although I did not directly aver
that she would rather have had me; yet they all immediately imagined that
that was the ground of her animosity to me, and of her envy to my
beloved: and it was pity, they said, that so fine a young lady did not
see through such a pretended friend.
And yet nobody [added I] has more reason than she to know by experience
the force of a hatred founded in envy; as I hinted to you above, Mrs.
Moore, and to you, Miss Rawlins, in the case of her sister Arabella.
I had compliments made to my person and talents on this occasion: which
gave me a singular opportunity of displaying my modesty, by disclaiming
the merit of them, with a No, indeed!--I should be very vain, Ladies, if
I thought so. While thus abusing myself, and exalting Miss Howe, I got
their opinion both for modesty and generosity; and had all the graces
which I disclaimed thrown in upon me besides.
In short, they even oppressed that modesty, which (to speak modestly of
myself) their praises created, by disbelieving all I said against myself.
And, truly, I must needs say, they have almost persuaded even me myself,
that Miss Howe is actually in love with me. I have often been willing to
hope this. And who knows but she may? The Captain and I have agreed,
that it shall be so insinuated occasionally--And what's thy opinion,
Jack? She certainly hates Hickman; and girls who are disengaged seldom
hate, though they may not love: and if she had rather have another, why
not that other ME? For am I not a smart fellow, and a rake? And do not
your sprightly ladies love your smart fellow, and your rakes? And where
is the wonder, that the man who could engage the affections of Miss
Harlowe, should engage those of a lady (with her* alas's) who would be
honoured in being deemed her second?
* See Letter XX. of this volume, where Miss Howe says, Alas! my dear, I
know you loved him!
Nor accuse thou me of SINGULAR vanity in this presumption, Belford. Wert
thou to know the secret vanity that lurks in the hearts of those who
disguise or cloke it best, thou wouldst find great reason to acquit, at
least, to allow for me: since it is generally the conscious over-fulness
of conceit, that makes the hypocrite most upon his guard to conceal it.
Yet with these fellows, proudly humble as they are, it will break out
sometimes in spite of their clokes, though but in self-denying,
compliment-begging self-degradation.
But now I have undervalued myself, in apologizing to thee on this
occasion, let me use another argument in favour of my observation, that
the ladies generally prefer a rake to a sober man; and of my presumption
upon it, that Miss Howe is in love with me: it is this: common fame says,
That Hickman is a very virtuous, a very innocent fellow--a male-virgin, I
warrant!--An odd dog I always thought him. Now women, Jack, like not
novices. Two maidenheads meeting together in wedlock, the first child
must be a fool, is their common aphorism. They are pleased with a love
of the sex that is founded in the knowledge of it. Reason good; novices
expect more than they can possibly find in the commerce with them. The
man who knows them, yet has ardours for them, to borrow a word from Miss
Howe,* though those ardours are generally owing more to the devil within
him, than to the witch without him, is the man who makes them the highest
and most grateful compliment. He knows what to expect, and with what to
be satisfied.
* See Vol. IV. Letters XXIX. and XXXIV.
Then the merit of a woman, in some cases, must be ignorance, whether real
or pretended. The man, in these cases, must be an adept. Will it then
be wondered at, that a woman prefers a libertine to a novice?--While she
expects in the one the confidence she wants, she considers the other and
herself as two parallel lines, which, though they run side by side, can
never meet.
Yet in this the sex is generally mistaken too; for these sheepish fellows
are sly. I myself was modest once; and this, as I have elsewhere hinted
to thee,* has better enabled me to judge of both sexes.
* See Vol. III. Letter XXIII.
But to proceed with my narrative:
Having thus prepared every one against any letter should come from Miss
Howe, and against my beloved's messenger returns, I thought it proper to
conclude that subject with a hint, that my spouse could not bear to have
any thing said that reflected upon Miss Howe; and, with a deep sigh,
added, that I had been made very unhappy more than once by the ill-will
of ladies whom I had never offended.
The widow Bevis believed that might very easily be. Will. both without
and within, [for I intend he shall fall in love with widow Moore's maid,
and have saved one hundred pounds in my service, at least,] will be great
helps, as things may happen.