Cl. You have heard his story. Mine, as I told you before, is too long,
and too melancholy: my disorder on seeing the wretch is too great; and my
time here is too short, for me to enter upon it. And if he has any end
to serve by his own vindication, in which I shall not be a personal
sufferer, let him make himself appear as white as an angel, with all my
heart.
My love for her, and the excellent character I gave her, were then
pleaded.
Cl. Specious seducer!--Only tell me if I cannot get away from him by
some back way?
How my heart then went pit-a-pat, to speak in the female dialect.
Cl. Let me look out--[I heard the sash lifted up.]--Whither does that
path lead? Is there no possibility of getting to a coach? Surely he
must deal with some fiend, or how could he have found me out? Cannot I
steal to some neighbouring house, where I may be concealed till I can get
quite away? You are good people!--I have not been always among such!--
O help me, help me, Ladies! [with a voice of impatience,] or I am ruined!
Then pausing, Is that the way to Hendon? [pointing, I suppose.] Is
Hendon a private place?--The Hampstead coach, I am told, will carry
passengers thither.
Mrs. Moore. I have an honest friend at Mill-Hill, [Devil fetch her!
thought I,] where, if such be your determination, Madam, and if you think
yourself in danger, you may be safe, I believe.
Cl. Any where, if I can but escape from this man! Whither does that
path lead, out yonder?--What is that town on the right hand called?
Mrs. Moore. Highgate, Madam.
Miss R. On the side of the heath is a little village, called North-end.
A kinswoman of mine lives there. But her house is small. I am not sure
she could accommodate such a lady.
Devil take her too! thought I,--I imagined that I had made myself a
better interest in these women. But the whole sex love plotting--and
plotters too, Jack.
Cl. A barn, an outhouse, a garret, will be a palace to me, if it will
but afford me a refuge from this man!
Her senses, thought I, are much livelier than mine.--What a devil have
I done, that she should be so very implacable? I told thee, Belford, all
I did: Was there any thing in it so very much amiss? Such prospects of a
family reconciliation before her too! To be sure she is a very sensible
lady!
She then espied my new servant walking under the window, and asked if he
were not one of mine?
Will. was on the look-out for old Grimes, [so is the fellow called whom
my beloved has dispatched to Miss Howe.] And being told that the man she
saw was my servant; I see, said she, that there is no escaping, unless
you, Madam, [to Miss Rawlins, I suppose,] can befriend me till I can get
farther. I have no doubt that the fellow is planted about the house to
watch my steps. But the wicked wretch his master has no right to
controul me. He shall not hinder me from going where I please. I will
raise the town upon him, if he molests me. Dear Ladies, is there no
back-door for me to get out at while you hold him in talk?
Miss R. Give me leave to ask you, Madam, Is there no room to hope for
accommodation? Had you not better see him? He certainly loves you
dearly: he is a fine gentleman; you may exasperate him, and make matters
more unhappy for yourself.
Cl. O Mrs. Moore! O Miss Rawlins! you know not the man! I wish not to
see his face, nor to exchange another word with him as long as I live.
Mrs. Moore. I don't find, Miss Rawlins, that the gentleman has
misrepresented any thing. You see, Madam, [to my Clarissa,] how
respectful he is; not to come in till permitted. He certainly loves you
dearly. Pray, Madam, let him talk to you, as he wishes to do, on the
subject of his letters.
Very kind of Mrs. Moore!--Mrs. Moore, thought I, is a very good woman. I
did not curse her then.
Miss Rawlins said something; but so low that I could not hear what it
was. Thus it was answered.
Cl. I am greatly distressed! I know not what to do!--But, Mrs. Moore,
be so good as to give his letters to him--here they are.--Be pleased to
tell him, that I wish him and Lady Betty and Miss Montague a happy
meeting. He never can want excuses to them for what has happened, any
more than pretences to those he would delude. Tell him, that he has
ruined me in the opinion of my own friends. I am for that reason the
less solicitous how I appear to his.
Mrs. Moore then came to me; and I, being afraid that something would pass
mean time between the other two, which I should not like, took the
letters, and entered the room, and found them retired into the closet; my
beloved whispering with an air of earnestness to Miss Rawlins, who was
all attention.
Her back was towards me; and Miss Rawlins, by pulling her sleeve, giving
intimation of my being there--Can I have no retirement uninvaded, Sir,
said she, with indignation, as if she were interrupted in some talk her
heart was in?--What business have you here, or with me?--You have your
letters; have you not?
Lovel. I have, my dear; and let me beg of you to consider what you are
about. I every moment expect Captain Tomlinson here. Upon my soul, I
do. He has promised to keep from your uncle what has happened: but what
will he think if he find you hold in this strange humour?
Cl. I will endeavour, Sir, to have patience with you for a moment or
two, while I ask you a few questions before this lady, and before Mrs.
Moore, [who just then came in,] both of whom you have prejudiced in your
favour by your specious stories:--Will you say, Sir, that we are married
together? Lay your hand upon your heart, and answer me, am I your wedded
wife?
I am gone too far, thought I, to give up for such a push as this, home
one as it is.
My dearest soul! how can you put such a question? It is either for your
honour or my own, that it should be doubted?--Surely, surely, Madam, you
cannot have attended to the contents of Captain Tomlinson's letter.
She complained often of want of spirits throughout our whole contention,
and of weakness of person and mind, from the fits she had been thrown
into: but little reason had she for this complaint, as I thought, who was
able to hold me to it, as she did. I own that I was excessively
concerned for her several times.