MR. LOVELACE, TO JOHN BELFORD, ESQ.
MONDAY, MAY 29.
Now have I established myself for ever in my charmer's heart.
The Captain came at seven, as promised, and ready equipped for his
journey. My beloved chose not to give us her company till our first
conversation was over--ashamed, I suppose, to be present at that part of
it which was to restore her to her virgin state by my confession, after
her wifehood had been reported to her uncle. But she took her cue,
nevertheless, and listened to all that passed.
The modestest women, Jack, must think, and think deeply sometimes. I
wonder whether they ever blush at those things by themselves, at which
they have so charming a knack of blushing in company. If not; and if
blushing be a sign of grace or modesty; have not the sex as great a
command over their blushes as they are said to have over their tears?
This reflection would lead me a great way into female minds, were I
disposed to pursue it.
I told the Captain, that I would prevent his question; and accordingly
(after I had enjoined the strictest secrecy, that no advantage might be
given to James Harlowe, and which he had answered for as well on Mr.
Harlowe's part as his own) I acknowledged nakedly and fairly the whole
truth--to wit, 'That we were not yet married. I gave him hints of the
causes of procrastination. Some of them owing to unhappy
misunderstandings: but chiefly to the Lady's desire of previous
reconciliation with her friends; and to a delicacy that had no example.'
Less nice ladies than this, Jack, love to have delays, wilful and studied
delays, imputed to them in these cases--yet are indelicate in their
affected delicacy: For do they not thereby tacitly confess, that they
expect to be the greatest estgainers in wedlock; and that there is
self-denial in the pride they take in delaying?
'I told him the reason of our passing to the people below as married--yet
as under a vow of restriction, as to consummation, which had kept us both
to the height, one of forbearing, the other of vigilant punctilio; even
to the denial of those innocent freedoms, which betrothed lovers never
scruple to allow and to take.
'I then communicated to him a copy of my proposal of settlement; the
substance of her written answer; the contents of my letter of invitation
to Lord M. to be her nuptial-father; and of my Lord's generous reply.
But said, that having apprehensions of delay from his infirmities, and my
beloved choosing by all means (and that from principles of unrequited
duty) a private solemnization, I had written to excuse his Lordship's
presence; and expected an answer every hour.
'The settlements, I told him, were actually drawing by Counsellor
Williams, of whose eminence he must have heard--'
He had.
'And of the truth of this he might satisfy himself before he went out of
town.
'When these were drawn, approved, and engrossed, nothing, I said, but
signing, and the nomination of my happy day, would be wanting. I had a
pride, I declared, in doing the highest justice to so beloved a creature,
of my own voluntary motion, and without the intervention of a family from
whom I had received the greatest insults. And this being our present
situation, I was contented that Mr. John Harlowe should suspend his
reconciliatory purposes till our marriage were actually solemnized.'
The Captain was highly delighted with all I said: Yet owned, that as his
dear friend Mr. Harlowe had expressed himself greatly pleased to hear
that we were actually married, he could have wished it had been so. But,
nevertheless, he doubted not that all would be well.
He saw my reasons, he said, and approved of them, for making the
gentlewomen below [whom again he understood to be good sort of people]
believe that the ceremony had passed; which so well accounted for what
the lady's maid had told Mr. Harlowe's friend. Mr. James Harlowe, he
said, had certainly ends to answer in keeping open the breach; and as
certainly had formed a design to get his sister out of my hands.
Wherefore it as much imported his worthy friend to keep this treaty as
secret, as it did me; at least till he had formed his party, and taken
his measures. Ill will and passion were dreadful misrepresenters. It
was amazing to him, that animosity could be carried so high against a man
capable of views so pacific and so honourable, and who had shown such a
command of his temper, in this whole transaction, as I had done.
Generosity, indeed, in every case, where love of stratagem and intrigue
(I would excuse him) were not concerned, was a part of my character.
He was proceeding, when, breakfast being ready, in came the empress of my
heart, irradiating all around her, as with a glory--a benignity and
graciousness in her aspect, that, though natural to it, had been long
banished from it.
Next to prostration lowly bowed the Captain. O how the sweet creature
smiled her approbation of him! Reverence from one begets reverence from
another. Men are more of monkeys in imitation than they think
themselves.--Involuntarily, in a manner, I bent my knee--My dearest
life--and made a very fine speech on presenting the Captain to her. No
title myself, to her lip or cheek, 'tis well he attempted not either. He
was indeed ready to worship her;--could only touch her charming hand.
I have told the Captain, my dear creature--and then I briefly repeated
(as if I had supposed she had not heard it) all I had told him.
He was astonished, that any body could be displeased one moment with such
an angel. He undertook her cause as the highest degree of merit to
himself.
Never, I must need say, did an angel so much look the angel. All placid,
serene, smiling, self-assured: a more lovely flush than usual heightening
her natural graces, and adding charms, even to radiance, to her charming
complexion.
After we had seated ourselves, the agreeable subject was renewed, as we
took our chocolate. How happy should she be in her uncle's restored
favour!
The Captain engaged for it--No more delays, he hoped, on her part! Let
the happy day be but once over, all would then be right. But was it
improper to ask for copies of my proposals, and of her answer, in order
to show them to his dear friend, her uncle?
As Mr. Lovelace pleased.--O that the dear creature would always say so!
It must be in strict confidence then, I said. But would it not be better
to show her uncle the draught of the settlements, when drawn?
And will you be so good as to allow of this, Mr. Lovelace?
There, Belford! We were once the quarrelsome, but now we are the polite,
lovers.
Indeed, my dear creature, I will, if you desire it, and if Captain
Tomlinson will engage that Mr. Harlowe shall keep them absolutely a
secret; that I may not be subjected to the cavil and controul of any
others of a family that have used me so very ill.
Now, indeed, Sir, you are very obliging.
Dost think, Jack, that my face did not now also shine?
I held out my hand, (first consecrating it with a kiss,) for her's. She
condescended to give it me. I pressed it to my lips: You know not
Captain Tomlinson, (with an air,) all storms overblown, what a happy
man--
Charming couple! [his hands lifted up,] how will my good friend rejoice!
O that he were present! You know not, Madam, how dear you still are to
your uncle Harlowe!