"I see," said I, "there is no use in trying to move your feelings, we may
as well say our 'good bye' now as ever." And as I bestowed upon him the
parting kiss, I said, "May our next meeting be in the spirit land! And if
there you find yourself in a sphere of lower development than myself; and
you have any desire to rise to a higher plane, remember, there is one
spirit in the universe, who will leave any height of enjoyment, and
descend to any depth of misery, to raise you to a higher plane of
happiness, if it is possible so to do. And that spirit is the spirit of
your Elizabeth. Farewell! husband, forever!!"
This is the exact picture. Now see what use he makes of it. In his letter
to my father, he says: "She did not like to be left. I pitied her."
(Pitied her! How was his sympathy manifested?) "It was an affecting scene.
But she was very mad at me, and tried to wound my feelings every way. She
would send no word to the children, and would not _pleasantly_ bid me good
bye." Pleasantly was underlined, to make it appear, that, because I did
not pleasantly bid him good bye, under these circumstances, I felt hard
towards him, and this was a proof of my alienation, and is as strong a one
as it is possible for him to bring in support of his charge.
Let the tender hearted mother draw her own inferences--man cannot know
what I then suffered. And may a kind God grant, that no other mother may
ever know what I then felt, in her own sad experience!
The truth is, I never was alienated from my husband, until he gave me just
_cause_ for this alienation, and not until he put me into the Asylum, and
then it took four long months more, of the most intense spiritual torture,
to develop in my loving, forgiving heart, one feeling of hate towards him.
As proof of this, I will here insert two letters I wrote him several weeks
after my incarceration.