Be this my meed,--to die for love of thee,_A Lover's Litanies

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Lover's Litanies

_BY_

Eric Mackay

Lover's Litanies

_BY_

Eric Mackay

_Author of "Love Letters of a Violinist," and

"Gladys the Singer."_

1888.

_LONDON:_

_Field & Tuer, The Leadenhall Press, E.C.

Simpkin, Marshall & Co.; Hamilton, Adams & Co._

_New York: Scribner & Welford, 743 & 745, Broadway._

[Illustration: logo]

THE LEADENHALL PRESS,

LONDON, E.C.

T 4,258.

[Illustration: Ave Maria!]

Contents.

PAGE

First Litany--Virgo Dulcis 11

Second Litany--Vox Amoris 25

Third Litany--Ad Te Clamavi 39

Fourth Litany--Gratia Plena 53

Fifth Litany--Salve Regina 67

Sixth Litany--Benedicta Tu 81

Seventh Litany--Stella Matutina 95

Eighth Litany--Domina Exaudi 109

Ninth Litany--Lilium inter Spinas 123

Tenth Litany--Gloria in Excelsis 137

[Illustration]

First Litany.

VIRGO DULCIS.

First Litany.

Virgo Dulcis.

O thou refulgent essence of all grace!

O thou that with the witchery of thy face

Hast made of me thy servant unto death,

I pray thee pause, ere, musical of breath,

And rapt of utterance, thou condemn indeed

My venturous wooing, and the wanton speed

With which I greet thee, dear and tender soul!

From out the fullness of my passion-creed.

ii.

I am so truly thine that nevermore

Shall man be found, this side the Stygian shore,

So meek as I, so patient under blame,

And yet, withal, so minded to proclaim

His life-long ardour. For my theme is just:

A heart enslaved, a smile, a broken trust,

A soft mirage, a glimpse of fairyland,

And then the wreck thereof in tears and dust.

iii.

Thou wast not made for murder, yet a glance

May murderous prove; and beauty may entrance,

More than a syren's or a serpent's eye.

And there are moments when a smother'd sigh

May hint at comfort and a murmur'd "No"

Give signs of "Yes," and Misery's overflow

Make tears more precious than we care to tell,

Though, one by one, our hopes we must forego.

iv.

I should have shunn'd thee as a man may shun

His evil hour. I should have curst the sun

That made the day so bright and earth so fair

When first we met, delirium through the air

Burning like fire! I should have curst the moon

And all the stars that, dream-like, in a swoon

Shut out the day,--the lov'd, the lovely day

That came too late and left us all too soon.

I look'd at thee, and lo! from face to feet,

I saw my tyrant, and I felt the beat

Of my quick pulse. I knew thee for a queen

And bow'd submissive; and the smile serene

Of thy sweet face reveal'd the soul of thee.

For I was wounded as a man may be

Whom Eros tricks with words he will not prove;

And all my peace of mind went out from me.

vi.

Oh, why didst cheer me with the thought of bliss,

And wouldst not pay me back my luckless kiss?

I sought thy side. I gave thee of my store

One wild salute. A flame was at the core

Of that first kiss; and on my mouth I feel

The glow thereof, the pressure and the seal,

As if thy nature, when the deed was done,

Had leapt to mine in lightning-like appeal.

vii.

If debts were paid in full I might require

More than my kiss. I might, in time, aspire

To some new bond, or re-enact the first.

For once, thou know'st, the love for which I thirst,

The love for which I hunger'd in thy sight,

Was not withheld. I deem'd thee, day and night,

Mine own true mate, and sent thee token flowers

To figure forth the hopes I'd fain indite.

viii.

Is this not so? Canst thou detend, in truth,

The sunlike smile with which, in flush of youth,

Thou didst accept my greeting,--though so late,--

My love-lorn homage when the voice of Fate

Fell from thy lips, and made me twice a man

Because half thine, in that betrothal-plan

Whereof I spake, not knowing how 'twould be

When May had marr'd the prospects it began?

ix.

Can'st thou deny that, early in the spring,

When daisies droop'd, and birds were fain to sing,

We met, and talk'd, and walk'd, and were content

In sunlit paths? An hour and more we spent

In Keats's Grove. We linger'd near the stem

Of that lone tree on which was seen the gem

Of his bright name, there carven by himself;

And then I stoop'd and kiss'd thy garment's hem.

I gave thee all my life. I gave thee there,

In that wild hour, the great Creator's share

Of mine existence; and I turn'd to thee

As men to idols, madly on my knee;

And then uplifted by those arms of thine,

I sat beside thee, warm'd with other wine

Than vintage balm; and, mindful of thy blush,

I guess'd a thought which words will not define.

xi.

I told thee stories of the days of joy

When earth was young, and love without alloy

Made all things glad and all the thoughts of things.

And like a man who wonders when he sings,

And knows not whence the power that in him lies,

I made a madrigal of all my sighs

And bade thee heed them; and I join'd therewith

The texts of these my follies that I prize.

xii.

I spoke of men, long dead, who wooed in vain

And yet were happy,--men whose tender pain

Was fraught with fervor, as the night with stars.

And then I spoke of heroes' battle-scars

And lordly souls who rode from land to land

To win the love-touch of a lady's hand;

And on the strings of thy low-murmuring lute

I struck the chords that all men understand.

xiii.

I sang to thee. I praised thee with my praise,

E'en as a bird, conceal'd in sylvan ways,

May laud the rose, and wish, from hour to hour,

That he had petals like the empress-flower,

And there could grow, unwing'd, and be a bud,

With all his warblings ta'en at singing-flood

And turned to vàgaries of the wildest scent

To undermine the meekness in her blood.

xiv.

Ah, those were days! That April should have been

My last on earth, and, ere the frondage green

Had changed to gold, I should have join'd the ranks

Of dull dead men who lived for little thanks

And made the most thereof, though penance-bound.

I should have known that in the daily round

Of mine existence, there are griefs to spare,

But joys, alas! too few on any ground.

xv.

And here I stand to-day with bended head,

My task undone, my garden overspread

With baneful weeds. Am I the lord thereof?

Or mine own slave, without the power to doff

My misery's badge? Am I so weak withal,

That I must loiter, though the bugle's call

Shrills o'er the moor, the far-off weltering moor,

Where foemen meet to vanquish or to fall?

xvi.

Am I so blurr'd in soul, so out of health,

That I must turn to thee, as if by stealth,

And fear thy censure, fear thy quick rebuff,

And thou so gentle in a world so rough

That God's high priest, the morn-apparell'd sun

Ne'er saw thy like! Am I indeed undone

Of life and love and all? and must I weep

For joys that quit me, and for sands that run?

xvii.

To-morrow's dawn will break; but Yesterday,

Where is its light? And where the breezes' play

That sway'd the flowers? A bird will sing again,

But not so well. The wind upon the plain,

The wintry wind, will toss the groaning trees;

But I, what comfort shall I have of these,

To know that they, unlov'd, have lost the Spring,

As I thy favour and my power to please?

xviii.

I should have learnt a lesson from the songs

Of woodland birds discoursing on the wrongs

Of madcap moths and bachelor butterflies.

I should have caught the cadence of the sighs

Of unwed flowers, and learnt the way to woo,

Which all things know but I, beneath the blue

Of Heaven's great dome; for, undesired of thee,

I have but jarr'd the notes that seem'd so true.

xix.

I should have told thee all I meant to tell,

And how, at Lammas-tide, a wedding-bell

Rang through my sleep, mine own as well as thine;

And how I led thee, smiling, to a shrine

And there endow'd thee with the name I bear;

And how I woke to find the morning-air

Flooded with light. I should have told thee this

And not conceal'd the theme of my long prayer.

xx.

But I was timid. Oh, my love was such

I scarce could name it! Trembling over-much

With too much ardour, I was moved at length

To mere mad utterance. In a blameful strength

I seiz'd thy hand, to scare thee, as of old

Dryads were scared; and calm and icy-cold

Thine answer came: "I pray thee, vex me not!"

And all that day 'twas winter on the wold.

[Illustration: cherub]

Second Litany.

_VOX AMORIS_.

Second Litany.

Vox Amorís.[1]

Vouchsafe, my Lady! by the passion-flower,

And by the glamour of a moonlit hour,

And by the cries and sighs of all the birds

That sing o'nights, to heed again the words

Of my poor pleading! For I swear to thee

My love is deeper than the bounding sea,

And more conclusive than a wedding-bell,

And freer-voiced than winds upon the lea.

[Footnote 1: This Litany was introduced in the Author's "Gladys the

Singer," published by Messrs. Reeves & Turner, London, 1887.]

ii.

In all the world, from east unto the west,

There is no vantage-ground, and little rest,

And no content for me from dawn to dark,

From set of sun to song-time of the lark,

And yet, withal, there is no man alive

Who for a goodly cause to make it thrive,

Would do such deeds as I would gird me to

Could I but win the pearl for which I dive.

iii.

It is thy love which, downward in the deep

Of far-off visions, I behold in sleep,--

It is thy pearl of love which in the night

Doth tempt my soul to hopes I dare not write,--

It is this gem for which, had I a crown,

I'd barter peace and pomp, and ermined gown;

It is thy troth, thou paragon of maids!

For which I'd sell the joys of all renown.

iv.

I would attack a panther in its den

To do thee service as thy man of men,

Or front the Fates, or, like a ghoul, confer

With staring ghosts outside a sepulchre.

I would forego a limb to give thee life,

Or yield my soul itself in any strife,

In any coil of doubt, in any spot

When Death and Danger meet as man and wife.

It is my solace, all my nights and days,

To pray for thee and dote on thee always,

And evermore to count myself a king

Because I earn'd thy favour in the spring.

Oh, smile on me and call me to thy side,

And I will kneel to thee, as to a bride,

And yet adore thee as a saint in Heaven

By God ordained, by good men glorified!

vi.

I will acquaint thee with mine inmost thought

And teach thee all I know, though unbesought,

And make thee prouder of a poet's dream

Than wealthy men are proud of what they seem.

If thou have trust therein, if thou require

Service of me, or song, or penance dire,

I will obey thee as thy belted knight,

Or die to satisfy thy heart's desire.

vii.

Ah! thou hast that in store which none can give,

None but thyself, and I am fain to live

To watch the outcome of so fair a gift,--

To see the bright good morrow loom and lift,

And know that thou,--unpeer'd beneath the moon,--

Untamed of men,--untutor'd to the tune

Of lip with lip,--wilt cease thy coy disdain

And learn the languors of the loves of June.

viii.

All that I am, and all I hope to be,

Is thine till death; and though I die for thee

Each day I live; and though I throb and thrill

At thoughts that seem to burn me, and to chill,

In my dark hours, I revel in the same;

Yet I am free of hope, as thou of blame,

And all around me, wakeful and in sleep,

I weave a blessing for thy soul to claim.

ix.

Oh, by thy radiant hair and by the glow

Of thy full eyes,--and by thy breast of snow,--

And by the buds thereof that have the flush

Of infant roses when they strive to blush,--

And by thy voice, melodious as a bell

That rings for prayer in God's high citadel,--

By all these things, and more than I can urge,

I charge thee, Sweet! to let me out of hell!

Is it not Hell to live so far away

And not to touch thee,--not by night or day

To be partaker of one smile of thine,

Or one commingling of thy breath and mine,

Or one encounter of thine amorous mouth?

I dwell apart from thee, as north from south,

As east from western ways I dwell apart,

And taste the tears that quench not any drouth.

xi.

Why wouldst thou take the memory of a wrong

To be thy shadow all the summer long,

A thing to chide thee at the dead of night,

A thing to wake thee with the morning light

For self-upbraiding, while the wanton bird

Invests the welkin? Ah, by joy deferr'd,

By peace withheld from me,--do thou relent

And dower my life to-day with one love-word!

xii.

Wouldst thou, Cassandra-wise, oppress my soul

With more unrest, and Hebè-like, the bowl

Of festal comfort for a moment raise

To my poor lips, and then avert thy gaze?

Wouldst make me mad beyond the daily curse

Of thy displeasure, and in wrath disperse

That halcyon draught, that nectar of the mind,

Which is the theme I yearn to in my verse?

xiii.

Oh, by thy pity when so slight a thing

As some small bird is wounded in the wing,

Avert thy scorn, and grant me, from afar,

At least the right to love thee as a star,--

The right to turn to thee, the right to bow

To thy pure name and evermore, as now,

To own thy thraldom and to sing thereon,

In proud allegiance to mine earliest vow.

xiv.

It were abuse of power to frown again

When, all day long, I gloat upon the pain

Of pent-up hope, my joy and my distress,--

While the remembrance of a mute caress

Given to a rose,--a rose I pluck'd for thee,--

Seems as the withering of the world to me,

Because I am unlov'd of thee to-day

And undesired as sea-weeds in the sea.

xv.

I'll not believe that eyes so bright as thine

Were meant for malice in the summer-shine,

Or that a glance thereof, though changed to fire,

Could injure one whose spirit, like a lyre,

Has throbb'd to music of remember'd joys,--

The pride thereof, and all the tender poise

Of trust with trust,--the symphonies of grief

Made all mine own,--and Faith which never cloys.

xvi.

How can it be that one so fair as thou

Should wear contention on a whiter brow

Than May-day Dian's in her hunting gear?

I'll not believe that eyes so holy-clear

And mouth so constant to its morning prayer

Could mock the mischief of a man's despair

And all the misery of a moment's hope

Seen far away, as mists are seen in air.

xvii.

How can a woman's heart be made of stone

And she not know it? Mine is overthrown.

I have no heart to-day, no perfect one,

Only a thing that sighs at set of sun

And beats its cage, as if the thrall thereof

Were freedom's prison or the tomb of love;

As if, God help me! there were shame in truth

And no salvation left in realms above.

xviii.

I once could laugh, I once was deem'd a man

Fit for the frenzies of the dead god Pan,

And now, by Heaven! the birds that sing so well

Move me to tears; and all the leafy dell,

And all the sun-down glories of the West,

And all the moorland which the moon has blest,

Make me a dreamer, aye! a coward, too,

In all the weird expanse of mine unrest.

xix.

It is my curse to see thee and to learn

That I must shun thee, though I blaze and burn

With all this longing, all this fierce delight

Fear-fraught and famish'd for a suitor's right;

A right conceded for a moment's space

And then withdrawn as, amorous face to face,

I dared to clasp thee and to urge a troth

Too sovereign-sweet for one of Adam's race.

xx.

I am a doom-entangled mirthless soul,

Without the power to rid me of the dole

Which, day by day, and nightly evermore

Corrodes my peace! Oh, smile, as once before,

At each wild thought and each discarded plea,

And let thy sentence, let thy suffrance be

That I be reckon'd till the day I die

The sad-eyed Singer of thy fame and thee!

[Illustration: cherub]

Third Litany.

_AD TE CLAMAVI._

Third Litany.

Ad Te Clamavi.

Again, O Love! again I make lament,

And, Arab-like, I pitch my summer-tent

Outside the gateways of the Lord of Song.

I weep and wait, contented all day long

To be the proud possessor of a grief.

It comforts me. It gives me more relief

Than pleasures give; and, spirit-like in air,

It re-invokes the peace that was so brief.

ii.

It speaks of thee. It keeps me from the lake

Which else might tempt me; and for thy sweet sake

I shun all evil. I am calmer now

Than when I wooed thee, calmer than the vow

Which made me thine, and yet so fond withal

I start and tremble at the wind's footfall.

Is it the wind? Or is it mine own past

Come back to life to lure me to its thrall?

iii.

I long to rise and seek thee where thou art

And draw thee amorous to my wakeful heart

That beats for thee alone, in vague unrest.

I long to front thee when thou'rt lily-dress'd

In white attire,--e'en like the flowers of old

That Jesus praised; and, though the thought be bold,

I'm fain to kiss thee, Sweetheart! through thy hair

And hide my face awhile in all that gold.

iv.

I will not say what more might then be done,

And how, by moonlight or beneath the sun,

We might be happy. In a reckless mood

I've talk'd of this; and dreams and many a brood

Of tongue-tied fancies have my soul beset.

I will not hint at fealty or the fret

Of lips untrue, or anger thee therein,

Or call to mind one word thou wouldst forget.

I should withhold my raptures were I wise,

I should not vex thee with my many sighs,

Or claim one tear from thee, though 'tis my due.

I should be silent. I should cease to sue!

Sorrow should teach me what I fail'd to learn

In days gone by; and cross'd at every turn

By some new doubt, new-born of my desires,

I should suppress the pangs with which I burn.

vi.

I am an outcast from the land of love

And thou the Queen thereof, as white as dove

New-sped from Heaven, and fine and fair to see

As coy Queen Mab when, out upon the lea,

She met her master and was lov'd of him.

Thou art allied to long-hair'd cherubim,

And I a something undesired of these,

With woesome lips and eyes for ever dim.

vii.

I was ordain'd thy minstrel, but alas!

I dare not greet thee when I see thee pass;

I scarce, indeed, may hope at any time,

To work my will, or triumph in a rhyme

To do thee honour; no, nor make amends

For unsought fervor, in the tangled ends

Of my despair. How sad, how dark to me

All things have grown since thou and I were friends!

viii.

It is the fault of thy despotic glance,

It is the memory of a day's romance

When, true to thee, though taunted for my truth,

I dared to solemnise the joys of youth

In one wild chant. It is thy fault, I say!

Thy piteous fault that, on the verge of May,

I lost the right to live, as heretofore,

Untouched by doubt from day to brightening day.

ix.

O Summer's Pride! I loved thee from the first,

And, like a martyr, I was blest and curst,

And saved and slain, and crown'd and made anew,

A grief-glad man, with yearnings not a few,

But no just hope to win so fair a troth.

I should have known how one may weep for both

When lovers part, poor souls! beneath the moon,

And how Remembrance may outlive an oath.

The nymphs, I think, were like thee in the glade

Of that Greek valley where the wine was made

For feasts of Bacchus; for I dream at night

Of those creations, kind and calm and bright;

And in my thought, unhallow'd though it be,

The sun-born Muses turn their gaze on me,

And seem to know me as a friend of theirs,

Though all unfit to serve them on my knee.

xi.

They lived and sang. They died as visions die,

Supreme, eternal, offshoots of the sky,

Made and re-made, undraped and draped afresh,

To glad the earth like phantoms made of flesh,

And yet as mistlike as delusions are!

They stood beside Achilles in his car;

They knew the gods and all their joysome deeds,

And all the chants that sprang from star to star.

xii.

The myths of Greece, the maidens of the grove,

The dear dead fancies of the days of Jove,

Why were they bann'd? Oh, why in Reason's name,

Were they abolished? They were good to claim,

And good to dream of, and to crown with bays,

Far-seen of men, far-shining in the haze

Of withering doubts. They were the world's elect,

As thou art mine, to bow to and to praise.

xiii.

Night after night I see thee, in my dreams,

As fair as Daphne, with the morning beams

Of thy bright locks about thee like a cloak,--

Fair as the young Aurora when she woke

At Phæthon's call, athwart the mountain-heights.

I see thee radiant in the summer nights,

And, bosom-pack'd with frenzies unrepress'd,

I thrill to thee in Slumber's soft delights.

xiv.

I see thee pout. I see thee in disdain

Look out, reluctant, through the falling rain

Of thy long hair. I feel thee close at hand.

I note thy breathing as I loose the band

That binds thy waist, and then to waking life

I backward start! Despair is Sorrow's wife;

And I am Sorrow, and Despair's mine own,

To lure me on to madness or to strife.

xv.

My sex offends thee, or the thought of this;

For I did fright thee when I fleck'd a kiss

With too much heat. I should have bow'd to thee,

And left unsaid the word, deception-free,

Which, like a flash, illumed the love within,

My wilfulness was much to blame therein;

But thou wilt shrive me, Sweet! of mine offence

If passion-pangs be deem'd so dark a sin.

xvi.

Oh, give me back my soul that with the same

I may achieve a deed of poet-fame,

Or die belauded on the battle-field!

There's much to seek. My hand is strong to wield

Weapon or pen. If thou consent thereto

Deeds may be done. If not, thine eyes are blue

And Heaven is there,--a two-fold tender shrine

Whose wrath I fear, whose judgment still I rue!

xvii.

I am but half myself. The life in me

Is nigh crush'd out; and, though I seem to see

Glory, and grace, and joy, as in the past,

They are but shadows on the cozening blast,

And dreams of devils and distorted things,

And snakes coiled up that look like wedding rings,

And faded flowers that once were fit for wreaths

In bygone summers and in perish'd springs.

xviii.

There is a curse in every garden place,

And when, at night, the lily's holy face

Looks up to God, it seems to chide me there.

The very sun with all his golden hair

Is ill at ease, and birth and death of day

Bring no relief; and darkly on my way

My memory comes,--the ghost of my Delight,--

To fret and fume at woes it cannot slay.

xix.

Oh, bid me smile again, as in the time

When all the breezes seem'd to make a chime,

And all the birds on all the woodland slopes

Had trills for me, and seem'd to guess the hopes

That warm'd my heart. O thou whom I adore!

How proud were I,--though wounded bitter-sore

By shafts of doubt,--if, in default of love

I could but win thy friendship as of yore.

xx.

Then were I blest indeed, and crown'd of fate

As kings are crowned, as bards in their estate

Are rapture-fraught, re-risen above the dust.

Then were I torture-proof, and on the crust

Of one kind word, though as a pittance thrown,

I'd live for weeks! My tears I would disown

And pray, contented with my discontent,

As hermits pray when storms are overblown.

[Illustration: cherub]

Fourth Litany.

_GRATIA PLENA_.

Fourth Litany.

Gratia Plena.

Oh, smile on me, thou syren of my soul!

That I may curb my thoughts to some control

And not offend thee, as in truth I do,

Morning, and noon and night, when I pursue

My vagrant fancies, unallow'd of thee,

But fraught with such consolement unto me

As may be felt in homeward-sailing ships

When wind and wave contend upon the sea.

ii.

Dower me with patience and imbue me still

With some reminder, when the night is chill,

Of thy dear presence, as, in winter-time,

The maiden moon, that tenderly doth climb

The lofty heavens, hath yet a beam to spare

For doleful wretches in their dungeon-lair;

E'en thus endow me in my chamber dim

With some reminder of thy face so fair!

iii.

Quit thou thy body while thou sleepest well

And visit mine at midnight, by the spell

That knows not shame. For in the House of Sleep

All things are pure; and in the silence deep

I'll wait for thee, and thou, contrition-wise,

Wilt seek my couch and this that on it lies,

This frame of mine that lives for thee alone

As palmers live for peace that never dies.

iv.

It were a goodly thing to spare a foe

And kill his hate. And I would e'en do so!

For I would kill the coyness of thy face.

I would enfold thee in my spurn'd embrace

And kiss the kiss that gladdens as with wine.

Yea, I would wrestle with those arms of thine,

And, like a victor, I would vanquish thee,

And, tyrant-like, I'd teach thee to be mine.

For, what is peace that we should cling thereto

If war be wisest? If the death we woo

Be fraught with fervor there's delight in death!

There is persuasion in the tempest's breath

Not known in calm; and raptures round us flow

When, like an arrow through the bended bow

Of two fond lips, the quivering dart of love

Brings down the kiss which saints shall not bestow.

vi.

The soldier dies for country and for kin;

He dies for fame that is so sweet to win;

And, part for duty, part for battle-doom,

He wends his way to where the myrtles bloom;

He gains a grave, perchance a recompense

Beyond his seeking, and a restful sense

Of soul-completion, far from any strife,

And far from memory of his land's defence.

vii.

Be this my meed,--to die for love of thee,

As when the sun goes down upon the sea

And finds no mate in all the realms of earth.

I, too, have look'd on Nature in its worth

And found no resting-place in all the spheres,

And no relief beyond my sonnet-tears,--

The soul-fed shudderings of my lonely harp

That knows the gamut now of all my fears.

viii.

I wear thy colours till the day I die:

A glove, a ribbon, and a rose thereby,

All join'd in one. I revel in these things;

For, once an angel, unarray'd in wings,

Came to my side, and beam'd on me, and said:

"I love thee, friend!" and then, with lifted head,

Gave me a rose on which the dew had fallen;

And, like the flower, she blush'd a virgin-red.

ix.

I found the glove down yonder in the dale.

I knew 'twas thine; its color, creamy-pale,

Fill'd me with joy. "A prize!" I cried aloud,

And snatch'd it up, as zealous then, and proud,

As one who wins a knighthood in his youth;

And I was moved thereat, in very sooth,

And kiss'd it oft, and call'd on kindly Heaven

To be the sponsor of mine amorous truth.

I Earn'd the ribbon as we earn a smile

For service done. I help'd thee at the stile;

And so 'twas mine, my trophy, as of right.

Oh, never yet was ribbon half so bright!

It seem'd of sky-descent,--a strip of morn

Thrown on the sod,--a something summer-worn

To be my guerdon; and, enriched therewith,

I follow'd thee, thy suitor, through the corn.

xi.

I trod on air. I seem'd to hear the sound

Of fifes and trumpets and the quick rebound

Of bells unseen,--the storming of a tower

By imps audacious, and the sovereign power

Of some arch-fairy, thine acquaintance sure

In days gone by; for, all the land was pure,

As if new-blest,--the land and all the sea

And all the welkin where the stars endure.

xii.

We journey'd on through fields that were a-glow

With cowslip buds and daisies white as snow;

And, hand in hand, we stood beside a shrine

At which a bard whom lovers deem divine,

Laid down his life; and, as we gazed at this,

There seem'd to issue from the wood's abyss

A sound of trills, as if, in its wild way,

A nightingale were pondering on a kiss.

xiii.

A lane was reached that led I know not where,

Unless to Heaven,--for Heaven was surely there

And thou so near it! And within a nook

A-down whose covertness a noisy brook

Did talk of peace, I learnt of thee my fate;

The word of pity that was kin to hate,--

The voice of reason that was reason's foe

Because it spurn'd the love that was so great!

xiv.

But I must pause. I must, from day to day,

Keep back my tears, and seek a surer way

Than Memory's track. I must, with lifted eyes,

Re-shape my life, and heed the battle-cries

Of prompt ambition, and be braced at call

To do such deeds as haply may befall,

If, freed of thee, and charter'd to myself,

I may undo the bonds that now enthrall.

xv.

Shall I do this? I shall; and thou shalt see

Signs of rebellion. I will turn to thee

And claim obedience. I will make it plain

How many a link may go to form a chain,

And each a circlet, each a ring to wear.

I will extract the sting from my despair

And toy therewith, as with a charmèd snake,

That, Lamia-like, uprears itself in air.

xvi.

Or is my boast a vain, an empty one,

And shall I rue it ere the day is done?

Will hope revive betimes? Or must I stand

For evermore outside the fairyland

Of thy good will? Alas! my place is here,

To muse and moan and sigh and shed my tear,

My paltry tear for one who loves me not,

And would not mourn for me on my death-bier.

xvii.

Oh, get thee hence, thou harbinger of light!

That, like a dream, dost come to me at night

To haunt my sleep, and rob me of content,

So true-untrue, so deaf to my lament,

I must forego the pride I felt therein.

Aye, get thee hence! And I will crush the sin,

If sin it be, that prompts me, night and day,

To seek in thee the bliss I cannot win.

xviii.

Or, if thou needs must haunt me after dark,

Come when I wake. The oriole and the lark

Are friends of thine; and oft, I know, the thrush

Has trill'd of thee at morn and even-blush.

And flowers have made confessions unto me

At which I marvel; for they rail at thee

And call thee heartless in thy seemlihood,

Though queen-elect of all the flowers that be.

xix.

Nay, heed me not! I rave; I am possess'd

By utmost longing. I am sore oppress'd

By thoughts of woe; and in my heart I feel

A something keener than the touch of steel,

As if, to-day, a danger unforeseen

Had track'd thy path,--as if my prayers had been

Misjudged in Heaven, or drown'd in demon-shouts

Beyond the boundaries of the coasts terrene.

xx.

But this is clear; this much at least is true:

I am thine own! I doat upon the blue

Of thy kind eyes, well knowing that in these

Are proofs of God; and down upon my knees

I fall subservient, as a man in shame

May own a fault; albeit, as with a flame,

I burn all day, abash'd and unforgiven,

And all unfit to touch the hand I claim!

[Illustration: cherub]

Fifth Litany.

_SALVE REGINA_.

Fifth Litany.

Salve Regina.

Glory to thee, my Queen! whom far away

My thoughts aspire to,--as the birds of May

Aspire o' mornings,--as in lonely nooks

The gurgling murmurs of neglected brooks

Aspire to moonlight,--aye! as earth aspires

When through the East, alert with wild desires,

The rapturous sun surveys the welkin's height,

And flecks the world with witcheries of his fires.

ii.

Oh, I should curb my grief. I should entone

No plaint to thee; no loss should I bemoan!

I should be patient, I, though full of care,

And not attempt, by bias of a prayer,

To sway thy spirit, or to urge anew

A claim contested. For my days are few;

My days, I think, are few upon the earth

Since I must shun the joys I would pursue.

iii.

I am not worthy of the Heaven I name

When I name thee; and yet to win the same

Is still my dream. I strive as best I can

To live uprightly on the vaunted plan

Of old-world sages. But I strive not well;

And thoughts conflicting which I cannot quell

Make me despondent; and I quake thereat,

As at the shuddering of a doomsday bell.

iv.

To die for thee were more than my desert;

To live for thee to keep thee out of hurt

And, like a slave, to wait upon thy will

Were more than fame. And lo! I nourish still

A sense of calm to feel that thou, at least,

Art sorrow-free and honor'd at the feast

Which Nature spreads for all contented minds;

And that for thee its splendours have increased.

I stand alone. I stand beneath the trees,

I guess their thoughts; I hear them to the breeze

Say tender nothings; and I dream the while

Of thy white arms, and thy remember'd smile,

When, in a spot like this, a year a-gone,

I saw thee stoop to pluck from off the lawn

A wounded bird that peer'd into thy face

As if it took thee for the nymph of dawn!

vi.

Oh, can it be, as friends of thine affirm

That thou'rt a fairy,--that, from term to term,

Month after month, belov'd of all good things,

Thou'rt seen in forests and in meadow rings

Girt for the dance? or like an Oread queen

Array'd for council? For the woods convene

Their dryad forces when the nights are clear,

And nymphs and fawns carouse upon the green.

vii.

The crescent moon, the Argosy of heaven,

Veers for the west across the Pleïads seven,

And, out beyond the ridge of Charles's Wain,

It seems to come to mooring on the main

Of that deep sky, as if awaiting there

An angel-guest with sunlight in her hair,

A seraph's cousin, or the foster-child

Of some centurion of the upper air.

viii.

Is it thy soul? Has Cynthia call'd for thee

In her white boat, to take thee o'er the sea

Where suns and stars and constellations bright

Are isles of glory,--where a seraph's right

Surpasses mine, and makes me seem indeed

A base intruder, with a coward's creed

And not an angel's, though a Christian born

And pledged alwàys to serve thee at thy need?

ix.

Thou'rt sleeping now; and in thy snowy rest,--

In that seclusion which is like a nest

For blameless human maids beheld of those

Who come from God,--thou hast in thy repose

No thought of me,--no thought of pairing-time.

For thou'rt the sworn opponent of the rhyme

That lovers make in kissing; and anon

My very love will vex thee like a crime.

But day and night, and winter-tide and spring,

Change at thy voice; and when I hear thee sing

I know 'tis May; and when I see thy face

I know 'tis Summer. Thou'rt the youngest Grace,

And all the Muses praise thee evermore.

And there are birds who name thee as they soar;

And some of these,--the best and brightest ones,--

Have guess'd the pangs that pierce me to the core.

xi.

Thou art the month of May with all its nights

And all its days transfigured in the lights

Of love-lit smiles and glances multiform;

And, like a lark that sings above a storm,

Thy voice o'er-rides the tumult of my mind.

Oh, give me back the peace I strove to find

In my last prayer, and I'll believe that Hope

Will dry anon the tears that make it blind.

xii.

There's none like thee, not one in all the world;

No face so fair, no smile so sweet-impearl'd,

And no such music on the hills and plains

As thy young voice whereof the thrill remains

For hours and hours,--belike to keep alive

The sense of beauty that the flowers may thrive.

Or is't thy wish that birds should fly to thee

Before the days of April's quest arrive?

xiii.

Thou'rt noble-natured; and there's none to stand

So meek as thou, or with so dear a hand

To ward off wrong. For Psyche of the Greeks

Is dead and gone; and Eros with his freaks

Has bow'd to thee, and turn'd aside, for shame,

His useless shaft, not daring to proclaim

His amorous laws, and thou so maiden-coy

Beneath the halo of thy spotless name!

xiv.

But dreams are idle, and I must forget

All that they tend to. I must cease to fret,

Moth as I am, for stars beyond the reach

Of mine up-soaring; and in milder speech

I must invoke thy blessing on the road

That lies before me,--far from thine abode,

And far from all persuasion that again

Thou wilt accept the terms of my love-code.

xv.

O Sweet! forgive me that from day to day

I dream such dreams, and teach me how to sway

My fluttering self, that, in forsaken hours,

I may be valiant, and eschew the powers

Of death and doubt! I need the certitude

Of thine esteem that I may check the feud

Of mine own thoughts that rend and anger me

Because denied the boon for which I sued.

xvi.

Teach me to wait with patience for a word,

And be the sight of thee no more deferr'd

Than one up-rising of the vesper star

That waits on Dian when, supreme, afar,

She eyes the sunset. And of this be sure,

As I'm a man and thou a maid demure,

Thou shalt be ta'en aside and wonder'd at,

Before the gloaming leaves the land obscure.

xvii.

Thou shalt be bow'd to as we bow to saints

In window'd shrines; and, far from all attaints

Of ribald passion, thou, as seemeth good,

Wilt smile serenely in thy virginhood.

Nor shall I know, of mine own poor accord,

Which thing in all the world is best to hoard,

Or which is worst of all the things that slay:

A woman's beauty or a soldier's sword.

xviii.

I grieve in sleep. I pine away at night.

I wake, uncared for, in the morning light;

And, hour by hour, I marvel that for me

The wandering wind should make its minstrelsy

So sweet and calm. I marvel that the sun,

So round and red, with all his hair undone,

Should smile at me and yet begrudge me still

The sight of thee that art my worshipp'd one!

xix.

I count my moments as a cloister'd man

May count his beads; and through the weary span

Of each long day I peer into my heart

For hints of comfort; and I find, in part,

A self-committal, and a glimpse withal

Of some new menace in the rise and fall

Of days and nights that are the test of Time

Though Fate would make a mockery of them all.

xx.

There's a disaster worse than loss of gold,

Worse than remorse, and worse a thousand-fold,

Than pangs of hunger. 'Tis the thirst of love,

The rage and rapture of the ravening dove

We name Desire. Ah, pardon! I offend;

My fervor blinds me to the withering end

Of all good council, and, accurst thereby,

I vaunt anew the faults I cannot mend.

[Illustration: cherubs]

Sixth Litany.

_BENEDICTA TU_.

Sixth Litany.

Benedicta Tu.

I tell thee Sweet! there lives not on the earth

A love like mine in all the height and girth

And all the vast completion of the sphere.

I should be proud, to-day, to shed a tear

If I could weep. But tears are most denied

When most besought; and joys are sanctified

By joys' undoing in this world of ours

From dusk to dawn and dawn to eventide.

ii.

Wert thou a marble maid and I endow'd

With power to move thee from thy seeming shroud

Of frozen splendour,--all thy whiteness mine

And all the glamour, all the tender shine

Of thy glad eyes,--ah God! if this were so,

And I the loosener, in the summer-glow,

Of thy long tresses! I were licensed then

To gaze, unchidden, on thy limbs of snow.

iii.

I would prepare for thee a holy niche

In some new temple, and with draperies rich,

And flowers and lamps and incense of the best,

I would with something of mine own unrest

Imbue thy blood and prompt thee to be just.

I would endow thee with a fairer trust

Than mere contentment, and a dearer joy

Than mere revulsion from the sins of dust.

iv.

A band of boys, with psaltery and with lyre,

And Cyprian girls, the slaves of thy desire,

Would chant and pray and raise so wild a storm

Of golden notes around thy sculptured form

That saints would hear the chorus up in Heaven,

And intermingle with their holy steven

The sighs of earth, and long for other cares

Than those ordain'd them by the Lord's Eleven.

I would approach thee with a master's tread

And claim thy hand and have the service read

By youthful priests resplendent every one;

And in thy frame the blood of thee would run

As warm and sound as wine of Syracuse.

And all that day the birds would bear the news

In far directions, and the meadow-flowers

Would dream thereof, love-laden, in the dews.

vi.

Then, by magnetic force,--the greatest known

This side the tomb,--I would athwart the stone

Of thy white body, in a trice of time,

Call forth thy soul, and woo thee to the chime

Of tinkling bells, and make thee half afraid,

And half aggrieved, to find thyself array'd

In such enthralment, and in such attire,

In sight of one whose will should not be stay'd.

vii.

And, like Pygmalion, I would claim anon

A bride's submission; and my talk thereon

Would not perplex thee; for the sense of life

Would warm thy heart, and urge thee to the strife

Of lip with lip, and kiss with pulsing kiss,

Which gives the clue to all we know of bliss,

And all we know of heights we long to climb

Beyond the boundaries of the grave's abyss.

viii.

The dear old deeds chivàlrous once again

Would find fulfilment; and the curse of Cain

Which fell on woman, as on men it fell,

Would fly from us, as at a sorcerer's spell,

And leave us wiser than the sophists are

Who love not folly. Night should not debar,

Nor day dissuade us, from those ecstacies

That have Anacreon's fame for guiding-star.

ix.

Aye! thou wouldst kneel and seek in me apace

A transient shelter for thine amorous face

Which then I'd screen; and thou to me wouldst turn

With awe-struck eyes, and cling to me and yearn,

With sighs full tender and a touch of fear.

And, like a bird which knows that spring is near,

And, after spring, the summer of sweet days,

Thou wouldst attune thy love-notes in mine ear.

Or, fraught with feelings near akin to hate,

Thou wouldst denounce me; and, like one elate,

Thou wouldst entwine me in thine arms so white,

As soldier-nymphs, with rapt and raging sight,

Made war with spearsmen in the vales of song,

The vales of Sparta where, for right or wrong,

The gods were potent, and, for beauty's sake,

Upheld the tourneys of the fair and strong.

xi.

I would not seem too wilful in the heat

Of our encounter, or with sighs repeat

Too fierce a vow. I would throughout confess

Thy murderous mirth, thy conquering loveliness,

And then subdue thee! Tears would not avail

Nor prayer, nor praise; and, flush'd the while or pale,

Thou shouldst be mine, my hostage in the night,

Without the option of a moment's bail.

xii.

Thou shouldst be mine! My hopes, from first to last,

Would win their way; and, lithe and love-aghast,

And all unnerv'd, thou wouldst, as in a dream

Entreat my pardon! I would callous seem

To thine out-yearning. I would cast on thee

A questioning look, and then, upon my knee,

I would surrender to that face of thine

Which is the great world's wonder unto me.

xiii.

O Heaven! could this be done, and I fulfil

One half my wish, and curb thee to my will,

I were a prompter and a prouder man

Than earth has known since light-foot lovers ran

For Atalanta, lov'd of men and boys.

I were a kaiser then, a king of joys,

And fit to play with high-begotten pomps

As children play with pebbles or with toys.

xiv.

O Golden Hair! O Gladness of an Hour

Made flesh and blood! O beauteous Human Flower

Too sweet to pluck, and yet, though seeming-cold,

Ordain'd to love! I pray thee, as of old,

Be kind to me. I saw thee yesternight,

And for an instant I was urged to plight

My troth again; for in thy face I saw

What seem'd a smile evoked for my delight.

xv.

Re-grant thy favour! Take me by the hand

And lead me back again to thine own land,

The nook supreme, the sanctum in the glen

Where pixies walk,--unknown to peevish men

And shrew-like women whom no faith uplifts!

Show me the place where Nature keeps the gifts

She most approves, and where the song-birds dwell,

And I'll forego the land of little thrifts.

xvi.

The moon is mother and the sun is sire

Of those young planets which, with infant fire,

Have late been found in regions too remote

For quicklier search; and these, in time, will dote

And whirl and wanton in the realms of space.

For there are comets in the nightly chase

Who see strange things untalk'd of by the bards;

And earth herself has found a trysting-place.

xvii.

And so 'tis clear that sun and moon and stars

Are link'd by love! The marriage-feast of Mars

Was fixt long since. 'Tis Venus whom he weds.

'Tis she alone for whom he gaily treads

His path of splendour; and of Saturn's ring

He knows the symbol, and will have, in spring,

A night-betrothal, near the Southern Cross;

And all the stars will pause thereat and sing.

xviii.

What wonder, then, what wonder if to-day

I, too, assert my right, in roundelay,

To talk of rings and posies and the vows

That wait on marriage? 'Tis the wild carouse

Of soul with soul athwart the sense of touch.

'Tis this uplifts us when, with fever-clutch,

The world would claim us; and our hopes revive

In spite of fears that daunt us over-much.

xix.

Lips may be coy; but eyes are quick, at times,

To note the throbbings that are hot as crimes,

And fond as flutterings of the wings of doves.

For he is blind indeed who, when he loves,

Doubts all he sees:--the flickering of a smile,

The Parthian glance, the nod that, for a while,

Outbids Elysium, and is half a jest,

And half a truth, to tempt us and beguile.

xx.

Thine eyes have told me things I dare not speak;

And I will trust the track they bid me seek,

Yea, though it lead me to the gates of death!

The wind is labouring:--it is out of breath;

Belike for scampering up the hill so fast

To say all's well with thee; and, down the blast,

I seem to hear the sounds of serenades

That swell from out the song-fields of the past.

[Illustration: cherubs]

Seventh Litany.

STELLA MATUTINA.

Seventh Litany.

Stella Matutina.

Arise, fair Phoebus! and with looks serene

Survey the world which late the orbèd Queen

Did pave with pearl to please enamour'd swains.

Arise! Arise! The Dark is bound in chains,

And thou'rt immortal, and thy throne is here

To sway the seasons, and to make it clear

How much we need thee, O thou silent god!

That art the crown'd controller of the year.

ii.

And while the breezes re-construct for thee

The shimmering clouds; and while, from lea to lea,

The great earth reddens with a maid's delight,

Behold! I bring to thee, as yesternight,

My subject song. Do thou protect apace

My peerless one, my Peri with the face

That is a marvel to the minds of men,

And like a flower for humbleness of grace.

iii.

The earth which loves thee, or I much have err'd,

The glad, green earth which waits, as for a word,

The sound of thee, up-shuddering through the morn,

The restive earth is pleased when Day is born,

And soon will take each separate silent beam

As proof of sex,--exulting in the dream

Of joys to come, and quicken'd and convuls'd,

Year after year, by love's triumphant theme.

iv.

A thousand times the flowers in all the fields

Will bow to thee; and with their little shields

The daisy-folk will muster on the plain.

A thousand songs the birds will sing again,

As sweet to hear as quiverings of a lute;

And she I love will sing, for thy repute,

Full many a song. She sings when she but speaks;

And when she's near the birds should all be mute.

O my Belovèd! from thy curtain'd bed

Arise, rejoice, uplift thy golden head,

And be an instant, while I muse on this,

As nude as statues, and as good to kiss

As dear St. Agnes when she met her death,

Unclad and pure and patient of her breath,

And with the grace of God for wedding-gown,

As many an ancient story witnesseth.

vi.

The bath, the plunge, the combing of the hair,

All this I view,--a sight beyond compare

Since Daphne died in all the varied charms

Of her chaste body,--rounded regal arms,

And shape supreme, too fair for human gaze,

But not too fair to win the mirror's praise

That throbs to see thee in thy déshabille

And loves thee well through all the nights and days.

vii.

I see thee thus in fancy, as in books

A man may see the naïads of the brooks;--

As one entranced by potions aptly given

May see the angels where they walk in Heaven,

And may not greet them in their high estate.

For who shall guess the riddle wrought of Fate

Till he be dead? And who that lives a span

Shall thwart the Future where it lies in wait?

viii.

And now to-day a word I dare not write

Starts to my lips, as when a baffled knight

Witholds a song which fain he would repeat;

For lo! the sense thereof is passing sweet.

And, like a cup that's full, my heart is fill'd

With new desires and quiverings new-distill'd

From old delights; and all my pulses throb

As at the touch of dreams divinely-will'd.

ix.

Who talks of comfort when he sees thee not

And feels no fragrance of the happy lot

Which violets feel, when call'd upon to lie

On thy white breast? And who with amorous eye

Looks at the dear tomb of the shuddering flowers,

The two-fold tomb where daintily for hours

They droop and muse,--who looks, I say, at these

And will not own the witchery of thy powers?

Who speaks of glory and the force of love,

And thou not near, my maiden-minded dove!

With all the coyness, all the beauty-sheen,

Of thy rapt face? A fearless virgin-queen,--

A queen of peace art thou,--and on thy head

The golden light of all thy hair is shed

Most nimbus-like and most suggestive, too,

Of youthful saints enshrined and garlanded.

xi.

Thou'rt Nature's own; and when a word of thine

Rings on the air, and when the Voice Divine

We call the lark upfloats amid the blue,

I know not which is which, for both are true,

Both meant for Heaven, though foster'd here below.

And when the silences around me flow,

I think of lilies and the face of thee

Which hath compell'd my manhood's overthrow.

xii.

O blue-eyed Rapture with the radiant locks!

O thou for whom, athwart the fever-shocks

Of life and death and misery and much sin,

I'd sell salvation! There's a prize to win

And thou'rt its voucher; there's a wonder-prize,

Unknown till now beneath the vaulted skies,

And thou'rt its symbol; thou'rt its essence fair,

Its full completion form'd adoring-wise!

xiii.

Yes, I will tell thee how I love thee best,

And all my thoughts of thee shall be confess'd

And none withheld, not e'en the witless one

Which late I harbor'd when the mounting sun

Burst from a cloud,--the moon a mile away,

As if in hiding from the lord of day,--

As if, at times, the moon were like thyself,

And fear'd the semblance of a master's sway.

xiv.

I love thee dearly when thine eyes are dim

With unshed tears; for then they seem to swim

In liquid blessedness, and unto me

There comes the memory of a god's decree

Which said of old:--"Be all men evermore,

All men and maids whose hearts are passion-sore,

Acclaim'd in Heaven!" and all day long I muse

On hope's divine and deathless prophet-lore.

xv.

I love thee when the soft endearing flush

Invades thy face, and dimples in the blush

Bespeak attention,--as a rose's pout

Absorbs the stillness when the sun is out,

And all the air retains the glow thereof.

In all the world there is not light enough

Nor sheen enough, all day, nor any warmth,

Till thou be near me, arm'd with some rebuff!

xvi.