CHAPTER XX

In every formation of a fresh family group there must be readjustments

of habit and of thought. Two people who fancy they know each other

intimately discover that they are in reality utter strangers. They

start a new acquaintanceship at the moment of marriage, and the wonder

of it is that so many millions of them manage the thing with success.

It is true that a man and woman who join their hands and their fortunes

because of a deep-seated, genuine, calm affection have a greater chance

of lasting happiness than those who unite because of the spur of

sudden, flaring passion. There are those who contend that friendship

and mutual confidence are a firmer foundation for marriage than the

emotion that we call love. Thousands of men and women have married

because prudence told them a certain other individual would make a

trustworthy, efficient, comfortable husband or wife, and as days and

weeks and years passed this respect and trust and regard has blossomed

into a beautifully permanent flower of love....Doubtless happiness has

resulted from marriages which resulted from motives purely mercenary,

for human beings are blessed by Heaven with a quality called

adaptability. Of no marriage can one predict happiness surely. At the

altar the best one can do is to hope for the best....But what can be

said of a marriage brought about by the causes and motives that led

Bonbright Foote to Ruth Frazer and Ruth Frazer to Bonbright Foote?

Of the two, Bonbright's reasons most nearly approached the normal, and

therefore the safe; Ruth had been urged by a motive, lofty perhaps,

visionary, but supremely abnormal. Therefore the adjustments to be

made, the problems to be mastered, the difficulties in their road to a

comfortable, reasonably happy future, were multiplied many times.

Instead of being probable, the success of their little social entity

became merely possible, doubtfully possible.

Ruth, being a woman, understood something of this. Bonbright, being a

boy, and a singularly inexperienced boy, understood it not at all, and

as he sat alone, a closed door between him and his wife, he wearied his

brain upon the puzzle of it. He came to the conclusion that the present

difficult situation was the natural thing. It was natural for the bride

to be timid, frightened, reluctant, for she was entering a dark forest

of strange, new experiences. He understood that his own case might be

exaggerated because their marriage had been preceded by no ordinary

courtship, with the opportunity which a courtship gives to begin the

inevitable readjustments, and to become accustomed to intimacy of

thought and act.

The ordinary man has little intuition, but a world of good intentions.

Men blunder woefully in their relations with women, not because of

innate boorishness in the sex, not because of willful brashness, but

because of lack of understanding. They mean well, but their performance

is deplorable.... In that moment Bonbright's most valuable possession

was a certain intuition, a fineness, a decency, a reserve, a natural

modesty. As he sat there alone he reached a conclusion which was,

probably, the most profoundly wise conclusion he was to arrive at in

his life. It came not so much from taking thought, as by blessed

inspiration. This conclusion was that he must court Ruth Frazer as a

sweetheart, not approach her as a husband....

It was a course that would require infinite patience, forbearance,

fineness. In his love for Ruth he felt himself capable of it; felt that

it would bring its reward.

So he sat and waited. He did not approach the door which she had

watched with apprehensive eyes until weariness had closed them in

sleep....

The luncheon hour had passed when he heard Ruth moving about within.

"Hungry?" he called to her, boyishly. His voice reassured her. It was

comradely. There was nothing in it that menaced her security....The

sleep and the rest had bettered her. She was less tense, more calmly

resigned to events. She had marshaled her will; had set it to bear her

up and to compel her to carry on bravely and without hysteria the part

of a wife.

"I am hungry," she said, and presently she appeared in the door, stood

there a moment, and then walked across the room to Bonbright. "Thank

you," she said, simply, and he understood.

"You don't mind being poor for a while?" he asked.

"I've always been poor," she said, with something that approached her

old smile.

"Because," he said, "we are poor. I am going to earn about thirty

dollars a week. So, you see, we can't afford to live here. We've got to

find a little house or flat...."

"Let's begin," she cried. It was not the delight of a woman at the

thought of hunting for her first home, but the idea of having something

to do, of escaping from these rooms. "Let's go right out to look."

"First," he said, with pretended severity, "we eat."

So they went down to the dining room, and after they had eaten they

inaugurated their house hunting. Perhaps Providence intervened at this

difficult moment to give them occupation. If so, Providence acted with

amazing wisdom and kindness.

Ruth found an interest in the search. She forgot. Her mind was taken

from morbid breedings as they climbed stairs and explored rooms and

questioned agents. Bonbright was very happy--happier because he was

openly and without shame adapting his circumstances to his purse....

They found a tiny flat, to be had for a fourth of their income. Ruth

said that was the highest proportion of their earnings it was safe to

pay for rent, and Bonbright marveled at her wisdom in such matters. ...

Then there were the furnishings to select. Bonbright left the selection

and the chaffering wholly to Ruth--and she enjoyed it. The business

rested, refreshed, stimulated her. It pushed her fears into the dim

background and brought again to the light of day her old self that

Bonbright loved. More than once she turned the light of her famous grin

upon him or upon some thrice lucky salesman.

But the end was reached at last; everything was done that could be

done, and there was nothing to do but to return to the hotel. Ruth did

her best to keep up her spirits, but by every block that they

approached the hotel, by so much her lightness vanished, by so much her

apprehension, her heartache, the black disappointment of the failure of

her great plan, returned.

Bonbright saw the change and it grieved him--it strengthened the

determination he had made. When they reached their rooms he drew her

over to the sofa.

"Let's sit here together, dear," he said. "We haven't had a decent

talk, and there are a heap of things to talk about, aren't there?"

She forced herself to sit down close to him, and waited icily, steeling

herself to yield to his demonstrations of affection if he offered them,

but he did not.

"I've an idea," he said. "I--I hope you'll like it. It'll be sort

of--fun. Sort of a game, you know.... While I sat here this afternoon I

was thinking about us--and--how I want to make you happy....We were

married--suddenly. Most folks play along and get to know each other,

and grow to love each other gradually, I guess....I didn't grow to love

you gradually. I don't know how it was with you. But, anyhow, we missed

our courtship. We started right in by being husband and wife. Of course

I'm glad of that....Don't think I'm not. I wanted you--right away.

But--but my idea was that maybe we could--have our courtship now--after

we are married....Mayn't we?"

"What--what do you mean?" she asked, fearfully, hopefully.

"We'll pretend we aren't married at all," he said. "We'll make believe

we're at a house party or something, and I just met you. I'm no end

interested in you right off, of course. I haven't any idea how you feel

about me....We'll start off as if we just met, and it's up to me to

make you fall in love with me....I'll bring out the whole bag of

tricks. Flowers and candy and such like, and walks and rides. I'll get

right down and pursue you....After a while you'll--maybe--get so far as

to call me by my first name." He laughed like a small boy. "And some

day you'll let me hold your hand--pretending you don't know I'm holding

it at all....And I'll be making love to you to--to beat the band.

Regular crush I'll have on you....What do you think?"

"You mean REALLY?...You mean we'll LIVE like that? That we won't be

married, but do like you said?" She was staring at him with big,

unbelieving eyes.

"That's the idea exactly....We won't be married till I WIN you. That's

the game....And I'll try hard--you haven't any notion how hard I'll

try." There was something pleading, pathetic in his voice, that went to

her heart.

"Oh," she said, breathlessly, "that's DEAR of you.... You're good--so

GOOD.... I--I hate myself.... You'll do THAT?... I didn't--know

anybody--could be--so--so good." She swayed, swayed toward him in a

storm of tears, and he drew her face down on his shoulder while with

awkward hand he patted her shoulder.

"There.... There..." he said, clumsily, happily. She did not draw away

from him, but lay there wetting his coat with her tears, her heart

swelling with thanks-giving; fear vanished, and something was born in

her breast that would never die. The thing that was born was a perfect

trust in this man she had married, and a perfect trust is one of the

rarest and most wonderful things under the sun.

For so young a man, Bonbright felt singularly fatherly. He held his

wife gently, silently, willing that she should cry, with a song in his

heart because she nestled to him and wept on his shoulder. If he

deluded himself that she clung to him because of other, sweeter emotion

than grief, relief, it did not diminish his happiness. The moment was

the best he had known for months, perhaps the best he had ever known.

Ruth sat up and wiped her eyes. He looked into them, saw them cleared

now of dread, and it was a sufficient reward. For her part, in that

instant, Ruth almost loved Bonbright, not as lovers love, but as one

loves a benefactor, some one whose virtues have earned affection. But

it was not that sort that Bonbright asked of her, she knew full well.

"Now--er--Miss Frazer," he said, briskly, "I don't want to appear

forward for a new acquaintance, but if I suggested that there was a

bully play in town--sort of tentatively, you know--what would happen to

me?"

"Why, Mr. Foote," she replied, able to enter into the spirit of the

pretense, "I think you'd find yourself in the awkward position of a

young man compelled to buy two seats."

"No chaperons?"

"Where I come from," she said, "chaperons are not in style."

"And we'll go some place after the play....I want to make the most of

my opportunity, because I've got to work all day to-morrow. It's a

shame, too, because I have a feeling that I'd like to monopolize you."

"Aren't you going a bit fast for a comparative stranger?" she asked,

merrily.

He pretended to look crestfallen. "You sha'n't have to put me in my

place again," he promised; "but wait--wait till we've known each other

a week!...Do you know, Miss Frazer, you have a mighty charming smile!"

"It has been remarked before," she said.

"We mustn't keep our hostess waiting. I'm afraid we'll be late for

dinner, now." He chuckled at the idea.

"I never have eaten dinner with a man in evening dress," she said, with

a touch of seriousness. "In the country I come from the men don't wear

them." How true that was--in the country she came from, the country of

widows who kept boarding houses, of laborers, of Dulac and their sort!

She was in another land now, a land she had been educated to look upon

with enmity; the land of the oppressor. Little revolutionist--she was

to learn much of that country in the days to come and to know that in

it bad men and good men, worthy women and trifling women, existed in

about the same ratio as in her own familiar land....Bonbright insisted

upon buying her violets--the first costly flowers she had ever worn.

They occupied desirable seats--and the few plays Ruth had seen she had

seen from gallery heights! Fortunately it was a bright play, brimming

with laughter and gayety, presenting no squalid problems, holding up to

the shrinking eyes of the audience no far-fetched, impossible tangles

of sex. They enjoyed it. Ruth enjoyed it. That she could do so is

wonderful, perhaps, but then, so many human capabilities are wonderful!

Men about to be hanged eat a hearty meal with relish.... How much more

might Ruth find pleasure since she had been granted a reprieve!

When the curtain descended they moved toward the exits, waiting for the

crowd to clear the way. Bonbright's attention was all for Ruth, but her

eyes glanced curiously about, observing the well-fed, well-kept,

brilliantly dressed men and women--men and women of the world to which

she belonged now. As one approached them and saw them, they were

singularly human. Their faces were not different from faces she was

accustomed to. Cleaner they were, perhaps, with something more of

refinement. They were better dressed, but there she saw the same

smiles, the same weariness, the same charm, the same faces that told

their tales of hard work and weary bodies.... They were just human

beings, all of them, HER sort and these....

Suddenly her fingers tightened on her husband's arm. He heard her draw

a quick, startled little breath, and looked up to see his father and

mother approaching them, from the opposite direction. Bonbright had not

expected this. It was the last place in the world he had thought to

encounter his parents--but there they were, not to be avoided. He

stopped, stiffened. Ruth stole a glance at his face and saw it suddenly

older, tenser.

Mr. and Mrs. Foote approached slowly. Ruth knew the moment Mrs. Foote

saw her husband, for the stately woman bit her lip and spoke hurriedly

to Bonbright's father, who glanced at Bonbright and then at her

uncertainly. Ruth saw that Mrs. Foote held her husband's arm, did not

allow him to turn aside, but led him straight toward them.... Bonbright

stood stiff, expectant. On came his father and mother, with no

quickening of pace. Bonbright's eyes moved from one face to the other

as they approached. Now they were face to face. Mrs. Foote's eyes

encountered Ruth's, moved away from the girl to her son, moved

on--giving no sign of recognition. Mr. Foote looked stonily before

him....And so they passed, refusing even a bow to their son, the only

child that had been given them....That others had seen the episode Ruth

knew, for she saw astonished glances, saw quick whisperings.

Then she looked up at her husband. He had not turned to look after his

parents, but was staring before him, his face white, his eyes burning,

little knots of muscle gathered at the points of his jaw. She pressed

his arm gently and heard his quick intake of breath--so like a sob.

"Come," he said, harshly. "Come."

"It was cruel--heartless," she said, fiercely, quickly partisan, making

his quarrel her own, with no thought that the slight had been for her

as well as for him.

"Come," he repeated.

They went out into the street, Bonbright quivering with shame and

anger, Ruth not daring to speak, so white, so hurt was his face, so

fierce the smolder in his eyes.

"You see..." he said, presently. "You see...."

"I've cost you THAT," she said.

"That," he said, slowly, as if he could not believe his words, "that

was my father and--my mother."

Ruth was frightened. Not until this moment did she realize what she had

done; not until now did the teeth of remorse clench upon her. To marry

her--because he loved her--this boy at her side must suffer THIS. It

was her doing....She had cheated him into it. She had cost him this and

was giving nothing to pay for it. He had foreseen it. Last night he had

cut adrift from his parents because of her--willingly. She knew he

would have made, would make, any sacrifice for her....And she had

married him with no love in her heart, married him to use him for her

own ends!

She dared not doubt that what she had done was right. She dared not

question her act, nor that the end justified the means she had used.

...But the end was not to be attained. By the act of marrying Bonbright

she had made it impossible for herself to further the Cause....It was a

vicious circle of events.

As she watched his face she became all woman; revolutionist and martyr

disappeared. Her heart ached for him, her sympathy went out to him.

"Poor boy!..." she said, and pressed his arm again.

"It was to--be expected," he said, slowly. "I'm glad it's over....I

knew what would happen, so why should the happening of it trouble

me?...There have been six generations in my family that would do that

thing.... Ruth, the Foote Tradition is ended. It ended with me. Such

things have no right to exist.... Six generations of it...."

She did not speak, but she was resolving silently: "I'll be good to

him. I'll make him happy. I'll make up to him for this...."

He shook himself. "It doesn't matter," he said. "We sha'n't let it

interfere with our evening....Come, Miss Frazer, where shall we lunch?"

Youth Challenges · 第 20 / 36 章