"I would also like the Colonel's amusing work on the coming occupation."
"I know where it is, sir," Martin said swiftly. "I'll get it."
The Colonel's expression was stony. He nodded to Martin to get it, and
it occurred to him that the girl was one of those whom he had personally
selected as the most promising for the puppet governments. But when he
asked about her identity, she cut him off without a word.
"Then, may I ask where you learned such flawless English?"
"All of us know English," she said. "It is a very stupid language."
Martin and Henderson returned with the papers. Gingerly they approached
her, handed the papers to her, and darted back to their places in the
line. She placed the stack on the bar, leafed through it, all the while
keeping them covered with the Blaster, and remarked on finishing, "It is
exactly what one would expect barbarians to find interesting."
Flandeau, however, remained a scientist to the last.
"We find ourselves unhappily deceived," he said. "We were certain--that
you were utterly without defenses. We were told that you did not know
_how_ to lie, cheat, dissemble, or fight."
"Only not with each other." she said. "It was, so to speak, a lost art."
She glanced at Blunt. Several men squirmed. "But it is one that we have
regained," she said.
"And what will you do with us?" Flandeau asked.
"We have decided to let you go," she said. "Now that we possess this
weapon,"--she brandished the Blaster--"which we can copy, we think we
can prevent more Explorations. At least this is the opinion of the
Eleven. So I am instructed to let you leave--at once, of course."
"You are most charming," said Flandeau.
"At once," she repeated.
"Yes, of course. Men! Prepare for blastoff!"
----
The way back was tedious--the floating around, the boredom, the unending
blackness of space--but at least it was going home. After the first
weeks of space-sickness, things returned to near normal, and the Doctors
conferred with the Colonel. It was decided that the best report should
be that Engraham was uninviting, bleak, and of no interest to Earthmen.
The reputations of all were at stake (the doctors found themselves,
stripped of their papers, unable to recollect enough, and the Colonel
desperately feared a court-martial) and the crew was thus advised. All
agreed to keep their mouths shut. Thus their honorable discharges,
medals, and life-time pensions would be safe.
So, with all this decided, and Earth only a few months away, relative
cheerfulness reigned. Only Willy Lanham continued to mope.
"What's biting you?" Kosalowsky asked, one day as they lay strapped in
adjacent bunks. "Your face is as long as this ship."
"I just feel bad," Willy said. "I can feel bad if I want to, can't I?"
"What the hell, we'll soon be home. We can really raise some hell,
then."
"I miss my girl," Willy blurted out.
"You'll see her pretty soon."
"I mean my girl on Engraham."
It happened that just then several other men, bored with lying still,
were floating past. They gripped the edges of Willy's bunk.
"You mean you had," Kosalowsky said cunningly, "a girl on Engraham?"
"Sure I did," said Willy defensively. "Didn't all you guys?"
More and more men joined the knot of bodies around Willy's bunk. The
atmosphere became distinctly menacing.
"You mean you didn't?" Willy said. "You mean it wasn't a gag we were
pulling on Blunt?"
They were silent. One pair of floating hands neared Willy's throat.
"Honest," he said. "I didn't think you were that dumb. I thought you
were just letting Blunt make an ass of himself. I thought that--well, it
was so easy. I even told Dick a couple of times. You just had to make a
grab for 'em."
Pane suddenly let out a harsh sound, like the cry of a wounded bull.
"So who was this frail?" Kosalowsky asked heavily.
"Yeah!" echoed the others.
"Well, she was just a frail, I guess," Willy said. "I used to see her
around the ship. On guard duty. I used to see her all the time. What the
hell," he said, "You think I'm dumb or something? Why'd you think I was
willing to stand guard all the time?"
*END*
_Transcribers note_: This etext was produced from If Worlds of Science
Fiction February 1958. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence
that the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.