PLANNING A VISIT.
"Well, now that that is settled," said the major with a sigh of relief,
"I suppose we had better start off and see whether Fortyforefoot will
attend to this business of getting the provisions for us."
"Yes," said the sprite. "The major is right there, Jimmieboy. You have
delayed so long on the way that it is about time you did something, and
the only way I know of for you to do it is by getting hold of
Fortyforefoot. If you wanted an apple pie and there was nothing in sight
but a cart-wheel he would change it into an apple pie for you."
"That's all very well," replied Jimmieboy, "but I'm not going to call on
any giant who'd want to eat me. You might just as well understand that
right off. I'll try on your invisible coat and if that makes me
invisible I'll go. If it doesn't we'll have to try some other plan."
"That is the prudent thing to do," said the major, nodding his approval
to the little general. "As my poem tries to teach, it is always wise to
use your eyes--or look before you leap. The way it goes is this:
'If you are asked to make a jump,
Be careful lest you prove a gump--
Awake or e'en in sleep--
Don't hesitate the slightest bit
To show that you've at least the wit
To look before you leap.
Why, in a dream one night, I thought
A fellow told me that I ought
To jump to Labrador.
I did not look but blindly hopped,
And where do you suppose I stopped?
Bang! On my bedroom floor!
I do not say, had I been wise
Enough that time to use my eyes--
As I've already said--
To Labrador I would have got:
But this _is_ certain, I would not
Have tumbled out of bed.'
"The moral of which is, be careful how you go into things, and if you
are not certain that you are coming out all right don't go into them,"
added the major. "Why, when I was a mouse----"
"Oh, come, major--you couldn't have been a mouse," interrupted the
sprite. "You've just told us all about what you've been in the past, and
you couldn't have been all that and a mouse too."
"So I have," said the major, with a smile. "I'd forgotten that, and you
are right, too. I couldn't have been a mouse. I should have put what I
was going to say differently. If I had ever been a mouse--that's the way
it should be--if I had ever been a mouse and had been foolish enough to
stick my head into a mouse-trap after a piece of cheese without knowing
that I should get it out again, I should not have been here to-day, in
all likelihood. Therefore the general is right. Try on the invisible
coat, Jimmieboy, and let's see how it works before you risk calling on
Fortyforefoot."
"Here it is," said the sprite, holding out his hands with apparently
nothing in them.
Jimmieboy laughed a little, it seemed so odd to have a person say "here
it is" and yet not be able to see the object referred to. He reached out
his hand, however, to take the coat, relying upon the sprite's statement
that it was there, and was very much surprised to find that his hand did
actually touch something that felt like a coat, and in fact was a coat,
though entirely invisible.
"Shall I help you on with it?" asked the major.
"Perhaps you'd better," said Jimmieboy. "It feels a little small for
me."
"That's what I was afraid of," said the sprite. "You see it covers me
all over from head to foot--that is the coat covers all but my head and
the hood covers that--but you are very much taller than I am."
Here Jimmieboy, having at last got into the coat and buttoned it about
him, had the strange sensation of seeing all of himself disappear
excepting his head and legs. These remaining uncovered were of course
still in sight.
"Ha-ha-ha!" laughed the major, merrily, as Jimmieboy walked around.
"That is the most ridiculous thing I ever saw. You're nothing but a head
and pair of legs."
Jimmieboy smiled and placed the hood over his head and the major roared
louder than ever.
"Ha-ha-ha-ha!" he cried. "Oh, my--oh, dear! That's funnier still--now
you're nothing but a pair of legs. Hee-hee-hee! Take it off quick or
I'll die with laughter."
Jimmieboy took off the hood.
"I'm afraid it won't do, Spritey," he said. "Fortyforefoot would see my
legs and if he caught them I'd be lost."
"That's a fact," said the sprite, thoughtfully. "The coat is almost two
feet too short for you."
"It's more than two feet too short," laughed the major. "It's two whole
legs too short."
"This is no time for joking," said the sprite. "We've too much to talk
about to use our mouths for laughing."
"All right," said the major. "I won't get off any more, or if I do they
won't be the kind to make you laugh. They will be sad jokes--like yours.
But I say, boys," he added, "I have a scheme. It is of course the scheme
of a soldier and may be attended by danger, but if it is successful all
the more credit to the one who succeeds. We three people can attack
Fortyforefoot openly, capture him, and not let him go until he provides
us with the provisions."
"That sounds lovely," sneered the sprite. "But I'd like to know some of
the details of this scheme. It is easy enough to say attack him, capture
him and not let him go, but the question is, how shall we do all this?"
"It ought to be easy," returned the major. "There are only three things
to be done. The first is to attack him. That certainly ought to be easy.
A kitten can attack an elephant if it wants to. The second is to capture
him, which, while it seems hard, is not really so if the attack is
properly made. The third is not to let him go."
"Clear as a fog," put in the sprite. "But go on."
"Now there are three of us--Jimmieboy, Spriteyboy and Yourstrulyboy,"
continued the major, "so what could be more natural than that we should
divide up these three operations among us? Nothing! Therefore I propose
that Jimmieboy here shall attack Fortyforefoot; the sprite shall capture
him and throw him into a dungeon cell and I will crown the work by not
letting him go."
"Magnificent!" said the sprite. "Jimmieboy and I take all the danger I
notice."
"Yes," returned the major. "I am utterly unselfish about
it. I am willing to put myself in the background and let you have all
the danger and most of the glory. I only come in at the very end--but I
don't mind that. I have had glory enough for ten life-times, so why
should I grudge you this one little bit of it? My feelings in regard to
glory will be found on the fortieth page of Leaden Lyrics or the Ballads
of Ben Bullet--otherwise myself. The verses read as follows:
'Though glory, it must be confessed,
Is satisfying stuff,
Upon my laurels let me rest
For I have had enough.
Ne'er was a glorier man than I,
Ne'er shall a glorier be,
Than, trembling reader, you'll espy--
When haply you spy me.
So bring no more--for while 'tis good
To have, 'tis also plain
A bit of added glory would
Be apt to make me vain.'
And I don't want to be vain," concluded the major.
"Well, I don't want any of your glory," said the sprite, "and if I know
Jimmieboy I don't think he does either. If you want to reverse your
order of things and do the dangerous part of the work yourself, we will
do all in our power to make your last hours comfortable, and I will see
to it that the newspapers tell how bravely you died, but we can't go
into the scheme any other way."
"You talk as if you were the general's prime minister, or his nurse,"
retorted the major, "whereas in reality I, being his chief of staff, am
they if anybody are."
Here the major blushed a little because he was not quite sure of his
grammar. Neither of his companions seemed to notice the mixture,
however, and so he continued:
"General, it is for you to say. Shall my plan go or shall she stay?"
"Well, I think myself, major, that it is a little too dangerous for me,
and if any other plan could be made I'd like it better," answered
Jimmieboy, anxious to soothe the major's feelings which were evidently
getting hurt again. "Suppose I go back and order the soldiers to attack
Fortyforefoot and bring him in chains to me?"
"Couldn't be done," said the sprite. "The minute the chains were clapped
on him he would change them into doughnuts and eat them all up."
"Yes," put in the major, "and the chances are he would turn the soldiers
into a lot of toy balloons on a string and then cut the string."
"He couldn't do that," said the sprite, "because he can't turn people or
animals into anything. His power only applies to things."
"Then what shall we do?" said Jimmieboy, in despair.
"Well, I think the best thing to do would be for me to change myself
into a giant bigger than he is," said the sprite. "Then I could put you
and the major in my pockets and call upon Fortyforefoot and ask him, in
a polite way, to turn some pebbles and sticks and other articles into
the things we want, and, if he won't do it except he is paid, we'll pay
him if we can."
"What do you propose to pay him with?" asked the major. "I suppose
you'll hand him half a dozen checkerberries and tell him if he'll turn
them into ten one dollar bills he'll have ten dollars. Fine way to do
business that."
"No," said the sprite, mildly. "You can't tempt Fortyforefoot with
money. It is only by offering him something to eat that we can hope to
get his assistance."
"Ah? And you'll request him to turn a handful of pine cones into a dozen
turkeys on toast, I presume?" asked the major.
"I shall do nothing of the sort. I shall simply offer to let him have
you for dinner--you will serve up well in croquettes--Blueface
croquettes--eh, Jimmieboy?" laughed the sprite.
The poor major turned white with fear and rage. At first he felt
inclined to slay the sprite on the spot, and then it suddenly flashed
across his mind that before he could do it the sprite might really turn
himself into a giant and do with him as he had said. So he contented
himself with turning pale and giving a sickly smile.
"That would be a good joke on me," he said. "But really, my dear Mr.
Sprite, I don't think I would enjoy it, and after all I have a sort of
notion that I would disagree with Fortyforefoot--which would be
extremely unfortunate. I know I should rest like lead on his
digestion--and that would make him angry with you and I should be
sacrificed for nothing."
"Well, I wouldn't consent to that anyhow," said Jimmieboy. "I love the
major too much to----"
"So do we all," interrupted the sprite. "Why even I love the major and I
wouldn't let anybody eat him for anything--no, sir!--not if I were
offered a whole vanilla eclaire would I permit the major to be eaten.
But my scheme is the only one possible. I will turn myself into a giant
twice as big as Fortyforefoot; I will place you and the major in my
pockets and then I will call upon him. He will be so afraid of me that
he will do almost anything I ask him to, but to make him give us the
very best things he can make I would rather deal gently with him, and
instead of forcing him to make the peaches and cherries I'll offer to
trade you two fellows off for the things we need. He will be pleased
enough at the chance to get anything so good to eat as you look, and
he'll prepare everything for us, and he will put you down stairs in the
pantry. Then I will tell him stories, and some of the major's jokes, to
make him sleepy, and when finally he dozes off I will steal the pantry
key and set you free. How does that strike you, general?"
"It's a very good plan unless Fortyforefoot should find us so toothsome
looking that he would want to eat us raw. We may be nothing more than
fruit for him, you know, and truly I don't want to be anybody's apple,"
said Jimmieboy.
"You are quite correct there, general," said the major, with a chuckle.
"In fact, I'm quite sure he'd think you and I were fruit because being
two we are necessarily a pear."
"It won't happen," said the sprite. "He isn't likely to think you are
fruit and even if he does I won't let him eat you. I'll keep him from
doing it if I have to eat you myself."
"Oh, of course, then, with a kind promise like that there is nothing
left for us to do but accept your proposition," said the
major. "As Ben Bullet says:
'When only one thing can be done--
If people only knew it--
The wisest course beneath the sun
Is just to go and do it.'"
"I'm willing to take my chances," said Jimmieboy, "if after I see what
kind of a giant you can turn yourself into I think you are terrible
enough to frighten another giant."
"Well, just watch me," said the sprite, taking off his coat. "And mind,
however terrifying I may become, don't you get frightened, because I
won't hurt you."
"Go ahead," said the major, valiantly. "Wait until we get scared before
talking like that to us."
"One, two, three!" cried the sprite. "Presto! Change!
'Bazam, bazam,
A sprite I am,
Bazoo, bazee,
A giant I'd be.'"
Then there came a terrific noise; the trees about the little group shook
to the very last end of their roots, all grew dark as night, and as
quickly grew light again. In the returning light Jimmieboy saw looming
up before him a fearful creature, eighty feet high, clad in a
magnificent suit embroidered with gold and silver, a fierce mustache
upon his lip, and dangling at his side was a heavy sword.
It was the sprite now transformed into a giant--a terrible-looking
fellow, though to Jimmieboy he was not terrible because the boy knew
that the dreadful creature was only his little friend in disguise.
"How do I look?" came a bellowing voice from above the trees.
"First rate. Horribly frightful. I'm sure you'll do, and I am ready,"
said Jimmieboy, with a laugh. "What do you think, major?"
But there came no answer, and Jimmieboy, looking about him to see why
the major made no reply, was just in time to see that worthy soldier's
coat-tails disappearing down the road.
The major was running away as fast as he could go.