ALMOST SHIPWRECKED
Sophy Chantrey was left alone to nurse her dying husband, for Ann
Holland was lying ill in her own cabin, ignorant of his extremity.
Captain Scott came down for a minute or two, but he could not stay
beside him. His presence was sorely needed on deck, yet he lingered
awhile, looking sorrowfully at his friend. Sophy watched him with a
clearer and keener glance in her blue eyes than he had ever yet seen in
them.
"What is the matter with him?" she asked, following him to the cabin
door.
"As near dying as possible," he answered, gruffly. He believed that a
good life had been sacrificed to a bad one, and he could not bring
himself to speak softly to the woman who was the cause of it.
"Dying!" she cried. There was no color to fade from her face, but the
light died from her eyes, and the word faltered on her lips.
"Yes," he answered, "dying."
"Sophy, come to me," called her husband, in feeble tones.
She left the captain, and returned at once to his side. The low berth
was almost on the floor, and she had to kneel to bring her face nearer
to his. It was night, and the only light was the dim glimmer of an
oil-lamp, which the captain had hung to the ceiling, and which swung to
and fro with the lurching of the ship. The wind was whistling shrilly
among the rigging, and every plank and board in the vessel groaned and
creaked under the beating of the waves. Now and then her feet were
ankle-deep in water, and she dreaded to see it sweep over the low berth.
In the rare intervals of the storm she could hear the hurried movements
overhead, and the shouts of the sailors as they called to one another
from the rigging. But vaguely she heard, and saw, and felt. Her
husband's face, white and haggard and thin, with his gray hair and his
eyes sunken with unshed tears, was all that she could distinctly
realize.
"Sophy," he said, "do not leave me again."
He held out his hand, and she laid hers into it, shuddering as she felt
its chilly grasp. Her head fell on to the pillow beside his, and her
lips, close to his ear, spoke to him through sobs.
"Is there nothing that can be done?" she cried. "It is I who have killed
you. Must you really die for my sin, and leave us?"
"I think I must die," he said, touching her head softly with his feeble
hand. "I would live for you if I could--for you and my poor boy. Sophy,
promise me while I can hear you, while you can speak to me, promise me
you will never fall into this sin again."
"How can I?" she cried. "I have killed you, and now who will care?"
"God will care," he said, faintly, "and I shall care; wherever I may be
I shall care. Promise me, my darling, my poor girl!"
"I promise you," she answered, with a deep sob.
"You will never let yourself enter into temptation?"
"Never!" she cried.
"Never taste it; never look at it; never think of it, if possible.
Promise," he whispered again.
"Never!" she sobbed; "never! Oh, live, and you shall see me conquer. God
will help me to conquer, and you will help me. Do not leave us. O God,
do not let him die!"
But he did not hear her. A faintness and numbness that seemed like
death, which had been creeping languidly through his veins for some
time, darkened his eyes and sealed his lips. He could not see her, and
her voice sounded far away. She called again and again upon him, but
there was no answer. The deep roar of the storm on the other side of the
frail wooden walls thundered continuously, and the groan of the
straining planks grated upon her ear as she listened intently for one or
more word from him. Was she then alone with him, dying? Was there no
help, nothing that could be at least attempted for his help? Through the
uproar and tumult she caught the sound of some one stirring in the
saloon. She sprang to the door, and met Captain Scott on the point of
opening it.
"Come," said she frantic with terror; "he is dead already."
The captain bent over the dying man, and with the promptitude of one to
whom time was of the utmost value passed his hand rapidly over his
benumbed and paralyzed body.
"No, not dead," he exclaimed; "but he's sinking fast, and there's only
one remedy. You can leave him to die, or you can save him, Mrs.
Chantrey. There is no one else to nurse him, and every moment is
precious to me. Here's a brandy-flask. Give him some at once; force a
few drops through his teeth, and watch the effect it has upon him. As he
swallows it give him a little more every few minutes. Watch him
carefully; it will be life or death with him. If I can get down again
I'll come in to see you, but I am badly wanted on deck this moment.
There's enough there, but not too much, remember. Get him warm, if
possible. God bless you, Mrs. Chantrey."
He had been busily heaping rugs and blankets upon his friend's
insensible form; and now, with a hearty grasp of the hand, and an
earnest glance into her face, he hurried away, leaving Sophy alone once
more.
A shudder of terror ran through her, and she called to him not to leave
her; but he did not hear. She stood in the middle of the cabin, looking
around as if for help, but there was none. The craving, which had been
starved within her by the forced abstinence of the last few weeks, awoke
again with insufferable fierceness. She was cold herself, chilled to the
very heart; her misery of body and soul were extreme. The dim light and
the ceaseless roar of the storm oppressed her. The very scent of the
brandy seemed to intoxicate her, and steal away her resolution. If she
took but a very little of it, she reasoned with herself, she would be
better fitted for the long, exhausting task of watching her husband. How
would she have strength to stand over him through the cold, dark hours
of the night, feeble and worn out as she already felt herself? For his
sake, then, she must taste it; she would take but a very little. The
captain had said there was not more than enough; but surely he would
give her more, to save her husband's life. Only a little, just to stay
the intolerable craving.
Sophy poured out a small, portion into the little horn belonging to the
flask. The strong spirituous scent excited her. How warm, and strong,
and useful it would make her to her husband in his extremity! Yet still
she hesitated. Suppose she could not resist the temptation to take more,
and yet more, until she lost her consciousness, and left him to perish
with cold and faintness? She knew how often she had resolved to take but
a taste, enough to drive away the painful dejection of the passing hour;
and how fatally her resolution had failed her, when once she had
yielded. If she should fail now, if the temptation conquered her, there
was no shadow of a hope for him. When she came to her senses again he
would be dead.
Why did not somebody come to her help? Where was Ann Holland, that she
should be away just at the very moment when her presence was most
desirable and most necessary? How could Captain Scott think of trusting
her with poison? How could she do battle with so close and subtle a
tempter? So long a battle, too; though all the dreary hours of the
storm! Only a little while ago she had made a solemn promise never to
fall into this sin, never to enter into temptation. But she had been
thrust into temptation unawares, in an instant, with no one to help her,
and no time to gather strength for resistance. Even David himself could
not blame her if she broke her promise. It should be only a taste; it
could not be more than that, for the flask was not full; and now she
came to think of it she could not get on deck to ask the captain for
more, because the hatches were closed. That would save her from taking
too much. She would keep the thought before her that every drop she
swallowed was taken from her dying husband, for whom there was barely
enough. She could only taste it, and she did it for his sake, not her
own.
She lifted the little horn to her lips; but before tasting the
stimulant, she glanced round, as she had often done before, to see if
any one was looking at her; a stealthy cunning movement, born of the
sense of shame she had never quite lost. Every nerve was quivering with
excitement, and her heart was beating quickly. But her glance fell upon
her husband's face turned toward her, yet with no watchful, reproachful
eyes fastened upon her. The eyelids half closed; the pallid, hollow
cheeks; the head fallen back upon the pillow, looked like death. Was he
then gone from her already? Had she suffered his flickering life to die
out altogether, while she had been dallying with temptation? With a wild
and very bitter cry Sophy Chantrey sprang to his side, and forced a few
drops of the eau-de-vie between his clenched teeth. Again and again,
patiently, she repeated her efforts, watching eagerly for the least sign
of returning animation. Every thought of herself was gone now; she
became absorbed between alternate hope and dread. He was alive still;
slowly the death-like pallor was passing away, faint tokens of returning
circulation tingled through his benumbed veins. The beating of his heart
was stronger, and his hands seemed less icily cold. But so slowly, and
with so many intermissions, did the change creep on, that she did not
dare to assure herself that he was reviving. Now and then the scent made
her feel sick with terror; for she knew that his life depended upon her
unceasing attention, and the tempter was still beside her, though thrust
back for the time by her newly-awakened will. "I will not let him die!"
she cried to herself; yet she was inwardly fearful of failing in her
resolution, and leaving him to die. Would the daylight never come? Would
the storm never cease?
It was raging more wildly than ever; and Captain Scott found it
impossible to go below, even though his friend was probably dying. Sophy
was left absolutely alone. It seemed to her like an eternity, as she
knelt beside her husband, desperately, fighting against sin, and
intently watching for some sure sign of life in him. He was not dead,
that was almost all she knew. The night was dark still, and very lonely.
There was no one who saw her, none to care for her; and her misery was
very great.
Was there none who cared? A still small voice in her own soul, long
unheard, but speaking clearly through the din of the storm around and
within her, asked, "Does not Christ care? He who came to seek and to
save that which was lost? He whom God sent into the world to be the
Captain of salvation, and to suffer being tempted, that He might be able
to succor all those who are tempted?" For a moment she listened
breathlessly as if some new thing had been said to her. Christ really
cared for her; really knew her extremity in this dire temptation; was
ready with His help, if she would but have it. Could it be true? If He
were beside her, witnessing her temptation and her struggling, seeing
and entering into all the bitterness of the passing hours, why! then
such a presence and such a sympathy were a thousand times greater and
better than if all the world beside had been by to cheer her. Why had
she never realized this before? He knew; God knew; she was not alone,
because the Father Himself was with her.
She had no time to pray consciously, in so many words of set speech; but
her whole heart was full of prayer and hope. The terror of temptation
was gone; nay, for the time, the temptation itself was gone, for she was
lifted up far above it. She could use the powerful remedy on which her
husband's life depended with no danger to herself. Her thoughts ran
busily forward into a blissful future. How happy they would all be
again! How diligently she would guard herself! Her life henceforth
should be spent as under the eye of God.
At last the morning dawned, and a gray light stole even through the
darkened portholes--a faint light, but sufficient for her to see her
husband's face more clearly. His heart beat under her hand with more
vigor, and the color had come back to his lips. She could see now how
every drop he swallowed brought, a more healthy hue to his face. He had
attempted to speak more than once, but she laid her hand on his mouth to
enforce silence until his strength was more equal to the effort. At last
he whispered earnestly that she could not refuse to listen.
"Sophy," he said, "is it safe for you?"
"Yes," she answered; "God has made it safe for me."