LOST
An hour later the house was comparatively quiet again. A doctor had
been, and said nothing could be done for Richard Holland, except to let
him die where he was undisturbed. The men who had carried him home had
dispersed, or had adjourned to the Upton Arms, to drink, and to talk
over this close of a drunkard's life. The news had in some way reached
the Rectory; and now only Mr. Chantrey and Ann Holland watched beside
him. They had laid him, as he was, on the little white-covered sofa in
the parlor, never so soiled before. Mr. Chantrey sat gazing at the
degraded, dying man. No deeper debasement could come to any human being;
almost the likeness of a human being had been lost. The mire and slough
of the ditch into which he had fallen still clung to him; for only his
face had been hastily washed clean by his sister's hand; a face that had
forfeited all intelligence and seemliness; a coarse, squalid, disfigured
face. Yet Ann was not repulsed by it; her tears fell upon it; and once
she had bent over it, and kissed it gently. Now and then she put her
mouth close to the deafened ear, and spoke to him, calling him by fond
names, and imploring him to give some sign that he heard, and knew her.
But there was no sign. The heavy breathing grew more thick and labored,
yet feebler as the time passed slowly on. David Chantrey marvelled at
the poor sister's patience and tenderness.
"Don't trouble to stay with me, sir," she said, at last, "I thought
perhaps he'd come to himself, and you'd say a word to him. But there's
no hope of that now."
"No," he answered, "I will not go, Ann," and his-voice trembled with
dread. "Do you think my wife could ever be as bad as this?"
"God forbid!" she cried, earnestly. "God keep her from it! Oh! if she
could but see; if she could but know! But he wasn't always like this. He
was a kind, good-natured, clever man once. It's drinking that's ruined
him."
"I will stay with you to the end," said Mr. Chantrey; "it is fit for me.
You are teaching me a lesson of patience, Ann. All this day I have been
thinking if it would be possible for me to give up my wife, and send her
away from me, to end her days apart from mine. I have been in despair;
in the very deeps. But now; why! even if I knew she would die thus, I
cannot forsake her."
"Ay! we must have patience," she answered. "I always hoped to win him
back again, but it was too strong for him and me. God knows how he's
been tempted on all hands; even those that call themselves religious,
and go to church regular as can be. He used to cry to me sometimes, and
promise to turn over a new leaf; and then somebody perhaps that he
looked up to would treat him at the Upton Arms. He might have been a
good man, if he'd been left alone."
"Let us pray together for him and ourselves," said Mr. Chantrey,
kneeling down once again by the little couch, as he had knelt the night
of his return home. Ann still held her brother's head upon her arm, and
her bowed face nearly rested upon it. But all words failed David
Chantrey. "Father!" he cried, "Father!" There was nothing more that he
could say. It was the single, despairing call of a soul that was full of
trouble; that was "laid in the lowest pit, in darkness, in the deeps."
But the bewildered brain of the dying man caught the cry, and he
muttered it over to himself; "Father! father! where is he?"
"It's God, our Father who art in heaven," said Ann Holland, uttering the
words very slowly and distinctly in his ear; "try to think of Him, and
pray to Him. He'll hear you, even now."
"Father!" he muttered again, "why! he'd be ashamed of his boy."
"It's God," she said, keeping down her sobs, "you've no other father.
Think of Him: God, who loves you."
"He'd be ashamed of me," repeated the dying man.
For a minute or two he kept on whispering to himself words they could
not hear, except the one word "shame." Then all was still. The miserable
end had come; and neither love nor patience could avail him anything on
this side the grave. He had gone as a drunkard into the presence of his
Judge.