SAD DAYS
There was no doubt in Upton, when the people saw their rector again,
that he knew full well the calamity that had befallen him. No one
ventured to speak to him of it; but their very silence was a measure of
the gravity of his trouble. His friend Warden told him more accurately
than any one else could have done, how it had gradually come about, and
what remonstrances he had made both to Mrs. Bolton and Sophy. Mr.
Chantrey was impatient to get into his own house, where he could do what
his aunt had refused to do, and where he could shield his wife from all
temptation to yield to the craving for stimulants in any form. When they
were at home once more, with their little son with them, filling up her
time and thoughts, all would be well again.
But he did not know the force of the habit she had fallen into. At first
there were a few gleams of hope and thankfulness during the pleasant
days of summer, while it was a new thing for Sophy to have her husband
and child with her. But he could not keep her altogether from
temptation, while they visited constantly at Bolton Villa, and the
houses of other friends. It was in vain that he abstained himself; that
he made himself a fanatic on the question, as all his acquaintances
said; Sophy could not go out without being exposed to temptation, and
she was not strong enough to resist it. Before the next spring came, the
people of Upton spoke of her as confirmed in her miserable failing.
There was no one but herself who could now break off this fatal habit;
and her will had grown wretchedly feeble. The sin domineered over her,
and she felt herself a helpless slave to it. There had been no want of
firmness or tenderness on the part of her husband; but it had taken too
strong a hold upon her before he came to her aid. The intolerable sense
of humiliation which she suffered only drove her to seek to forget it by
sinking lower into the depth of her degradation and his.
A great change came over the rector of Upton. He went about among his
parishioners, no longer gladly taking the leadership among them, and
claiming the pre-eminence as his by right. It had been one of his most
pleasant thoughts in former days that he was the rector of the parish,
chosen of God, and appointed by men, to teach them truths good for
himself and them, and to go before them, seeking out the path in which
they should walk. But his own feet were now stumbling upon dark
mountains. He was quickly losing his popularity among them; for whereas,
while he was himself happy and honored, he had not seen clearly all the
evils, and wrongs, and excesses of his parish, now he was growing, as
they said, more fanatical and ascetic than Mr. Warden had been, who had
won the name of a puritan among them. Why could he not leave the Upton
Arms and the numerous smaller taverns alone, so long as the landladies
and their daughters attended church, as they had been need to do? His
presence at the dinner-parties of his friends was a check upon all
hilarity; and by and by they ceased to invite him, and then, half
ashamed to see his face, ceased to go to his church, where his sermons
had not the smooth and flowery eloquence of former days.
Probably Mr. Chantrey knew better now what was good for his people; he
had clearer views of the snares and dangers that beset them, and the
sorrows that lie lurking on every man's path. He saw more distinctly
what Christ came to do; and how he did it by complete self-abnegation,
and by descending to the level of the lowest. But he had no delight in
standing up in his pulpit in full face of his dwindling congregation.
Language seemed poor to him; and it had grown difficult to him to put
his burning thoughts into words. As the bitter experience of daily life
seared his very soul, he found that no smooth, fit expressions of his
self-communing rose to his lips. It pained him to face his people, and
speak to them in old, trite forms of speech, while his heart was burning
within him; and they knew it, as they sat quiet in their pews, looking
up to him with inquisitive or indifferent eyes.
Mrs. Bolton could not escape her share of these troubles; though she
never accused herself for a moment as having had any part in causing
them. It was the archdeacon who had obtained the living of Upton for her
favorite nephew; and she had settled there to be the patroness of every
good thing in the parish. Mr. Chantrey's popularity had been a source of
great satisfaction and self-applause to her. She had foreseen how useful
he would be; what a shining light in this somewhat dark corner of the
church. The increasing congregations, and the number of carriages at the
church-door, had given her much pleasure. She had delighted in taking
the lead, side by side with her nephew, and in being looked up to in
Upton, as one who set an example in every good thing. But this
unfortunate failing in her nephew's wife, developed under her roof and
during his absence, had been a severe blow. No one directly blamed her
for it, except the late curate, Mr. Warden, and a few extravagant,
visionary persons, who deemed it best to abstain totally from the source
of so much misery and poverty among their fellow-beings, and to take
care, as far as in them lay, to place no stumbling-block in the way of
feeble feet. But, strange to say, all the estimable people in Upton
regarded her with less veneration since her niece had gone astray. Even
Ann Holland was plainly less impressed and swayed by the idea of her
goodness; and there were many others like Ann Holland. As for her
nephew, he was gradually falling away from her in his trouble. He would
seldom go to dine with her without Sophy; and he had urgent reasons to
decline every invitation for her. Their conversations upon religious
subjects, which had always tended to make her comfortably assured of her
own state of grace, had quite ceased. David never talked to her now
about his sermons, past or future. He was in the "wasteful wilderness"
himself, and could not walk with her through trim alleys of the
vineyards. Now and then there fell from him, as from his friend,
unpractical notions of a Christian's duty; as if Christianity consisted
more in acts of self-denial than in an accurate creed concerning
fundamental doctrines. It was an uneasy time for Mrs. Bolton; and her
chief consolation was found in a volume of sermons, published by the
archdeacon, which made her feel sure that all must be right with the
widow of such a dignitary.