Mr. Linker presented himself--the phrase is a most unpleasant one.
No self-respecting writer would use it if he could find any other to
express his meaning. He would prefer to say "Mr. Linker arrived" or
"Mr. Linker came." Or perhaps "Mr. Linker turned up," or "blew in."
Unfortunately "presented himself" is the only way of describing the
unctuous politeness, the self-satisfied smugness, the deprecating
humility and the formal correctness with which Mr. Linker, at the Manor
House door, asked for Lord Colavon. It is therefore necessary to use
the words.
Mr. Linker presented himself, early, while Sir Evelyn and his guests
were still lingering over breakfast. He was shown into the library and
his presence announced by Hinton.
"Mr. Linker," he said to Jimmy, "wishes to speak to your lordship when
convenient."
"Tell the blighter," said Jimmy, "to call again this day fortnight and
say that I won't be here then."
He looked Hinton straight in the face as he spoke. His meaning was
perfectly clear. He was fulfilling the threat that he had made an hour
before in his bedroom.
Sir Evelyn, who was enjoying the society of the two girls, did not want
to be disturbed. But he was aware of Linker's political importance and
was most unwilling to offend him.
"Perhaps," he said, "I'd better see him."
"Don't do anything of the sort, Uncle Evie," said Jimmy. "I know that
kind of rotter and, if he once gets talking you'll not stop him under
an hour and a half. Just let Hinton take my message."
Sir Evelyn hesitated. He knew that, once caught by Linker, his morning
would be gone, and he had been looking forward to taking Beth Appleby
and Mary Lambert round his rock garden. They were very agreeable and
well-mannered young women. Jimmy might have had his way and the message
might have been sent--though perhaps not delivered--by Hinton, if Beth
had not recognised the name of Linker. She had heard a good deal about
him from the dressmaker maid and knew that he was the man who had
supplied her and Mary with clothes.
"Let me go and see him," she said. "I want to thank him for the lovely
things he sent, and so does Mary. We'll both go. If I could afford
it I'd order half a dozen nighties of the same pattern. I never had
anything so deliciously frivolous before."
"Offer him a free advertisement in Lilith's Lispings," said Jimmy, "and
perhaps he'll give you a few."
"I might do that," said Beth. "It would be a paragraph practically
ready-made for next week, and that's something, even if I don't get as
much as a pocket handkerchief out of him. And I ought to. 'Lilith lisps
that Mr. Linker, the well-known lingerie expert of Morriton St. James,
who is perhaps England's greatest artist in nightdresses, is about to
startle the world with an original design in--whisper, belovedest, if
there are any men in the room--cami-knickers. Anyone with a real regard
for undies--and which of us has not?--will at once write to----' I must
ask him his address when I see him. Come on, Mary, and let's try. An
ad. like that ought to be worth something."
"Suppose we all go," said Sir Evelyn, still anxious to be polite to the
influential Linker.
"I shan't stir a step," said Jimmy. "I hate that kind of oily beggar."
Hinton held the door open for the two ladies and Sir Evelyn. When they
had left the room he turned to Jimmy.
"Beg pardon, my lord," he said, "I took the opportunity of speaking a
few words to Mr. Linker before announcing him."
"Oh, you did, did you? I hope you told him not to allow anyone to tempt
him into trying to defraud the revenue."
Hinton smiled feebly.
"I understood from Mr. Linker," he said, "that he was inclined to
consider your lordship's proposal sympathetically."
"He'll have to do a great deal more than consider it. However, if he's
got that far I may as well see him."
Linker was a disagreeable little man with a pallid face, almost
colourless shifty eyes and damp hands. He received Beth's thanks
with many bows, but did not seem much excited by her offer of an
advertisement in Lilith's Lispings.
"Very much obliged to your ladyship, I'm sure," was all he said.
He addressed Mary Lambert as "your ladyship" too, being perhaps under
the impression that any ladies who associated on good terms with an
earl must have titles of their own. He got away from the subject of his
own business as soon as Jimmy entered the room, and made his appeal on
behalf of the pageant.
He said very much what Hinton had said in the morning, dwelling on the
political advantage to Sir Evelyn of being associated with a popular
and successful pageant--an advantage not at all obvious to anyone
else--and the value to the pageant of Lord Colavon's help, which was,
if possible, less obvious still.
"I told Hinton to tell you," said Jimmy, "that I'm not going to touch
your pageant. I'm not going to have anything to do with it. I'm not
even going to see it."
"Oh, Jimmy," said Mary, "it might be rather fun."
"Aunt Agatha's pageant!" said Beth. "You must help if you can, though
I don't see what good you can do except being a patron, and you're that
already."
"Now, I might be useful," said Mary--"really useful. I'm an actress,
Mr. Linker."
"Indeed, your ladyship?" said Linker.
He did not seem impressed by this announcement. He perhaps thought that
Mrs. Eames was capable of managing the acting part of it by herself.
"I've always longed to produce a play," said Mary, "and a pageant would
be nearly as good."
"I'm sorry your mind is so definitely made up," said Sir Evelyn to
Jimmy. "Mr. Linker seems to think---- The prospects of the Party in
Morriton St. James--my own position as prospective candidate----"
"If it's going to help you, Uncle Evie--but I'm blest if I see how it
can."
"Mr. Linker," said Sir Evelyn, "attaches great importance to the
success of the pageant. I think perhaps that you ought----"
"I need scarcely say, my lord," said Linker, "that in the management
of the pageant we should be prepared to meet your lordship's wishes in
every way."
"In every way?"
Jimmy looked Linker straight in the face and then turned his eyes on
Hinton, who was standing near the door.
"In _every_ way," said Linker, nervously but with the needed emphasis.
"Certainly, my lord," said Hinton, "in every way."
"Very well," said Jimmy. "As you all want me I'll do my best; but what
exactly is it that you expect me to do?"
"Get me a job with a good advertisement attached to it," said Mary.
"Help Aunt Agatha," said Beth.
Linker explained his wishes at greater length. Lord Colavon might
undertake the purchase of the lugger and allow that fact to be
advertised. He might superintend the rigging under the direction of Sir
Evelyn. He might interest his friends in the pageant.
"And steer the lugger when the great day comes," said Jimmy.
"Certainly, if your lordship wishes."
The assurance was definite enough and entirely satisfactory to Jimmy.
The conversation passed on to the subject of patrons of the pageant.
Linker pressed on Sir Evelyn, who had already done a great deal, the
necessity of securing as many influential names as possible.
"Another bishop would be very desirable, sir," he said.
"But why do you want so many bishops?" said Mary. "Aren't they very
liable to make objections? My Nautch Girl dance is perfectly all right,
but----"
"Although a Nonconformist myself," said Linker, "I cannot but be aware
of the social position of the dignitaries of the Established Church.
They would certainly be of great value to the pageant."
He mentioned in a reverential whisper the name of a popular
ecclesiastic, one of the few who are thoroughly well known to the
public outside church circles.
"If a few actresses would be of any use," said Mary, "I might get them."
"As skittish as possible," said Jimmy. "Some ladies of the gayer kind
will be wanted to balance all the bishops."
"And if," Linker addressed Sir Evelyn again, "you could see your way to
inviting----"
He named a very great statesman, a man with a European reputation for
the astute manipulation of international Congresses, Assemblies of the
League of Nations and such things.
"Not necessarily to be present at the pageant," said Linker
apologetically. "That would be asking too much. But if we might make
use of his name."
"Do get him, Sir Evelyn," said Beth. "He'd be worth pounds to me in
paragraphs. He and the bishops and Mary's actresses all together."
Linker went on doggedly and shamelessly with his suggestions. There was
scarcely anyone of eminence whom he did not suggest, except members of
the Royal Family, and Sir Evelyn fully expected him to ask for a prince
or two soon. He seemed to be working up in that direction, and at last,
when he was plainly getting to the end of his list, he hesitated and
apologised over a final name. It would scarcely have surprised anyone
if he had mentioned the King himself.
"And perhaps," he said, "we might secure the name of----"
He looked round among his listeners as if uncertain to whom he ought to
appeal for the man he wanted.
"The name of Mr. East," he said at last, "would be of the greatest
value to us."
"Mr. East?" said Sir Evelyn vaguely.
He had never heard of Mr. East.
"Mr. E. P. East," said Linker, as if that explained the thing.
"Who is he?" said Sir Evelyn.
"Mr. E. P. East," said Linker, "is the Head Surveyor of Customs and
Excise in this district."
Beth and Mary were totally uninterested in this suggestion. The name
of Mr. E. P. East would be useless for a paragraph and promised no
desirable publicity. Sir Evelyn was still as much puzzled as when
he first heard the name. He failed to see the value of Mr. East as a
patron.
"Of course," he said, "if you really want him I might be able to secure
him."
Jimmy, after looking hard at Linker's totally expressionless face,
turned away and whistled softly.