MY HOME.
The next day we were to go to Magnolia. It was a better day than I
expected. Preston kept me with him, away from Aunt Gary and my
governess; who seemed to have a very comfortable time together.
Magnolia lay some miles inland, up a small stream or inlet called the
Sands River; the banks of which were studded with gentlemen's houses.
The houses were at large distances from one another, miles of
plantation often lying between. We went by a small steamer which plied
up and down the river; it paddled along slowly, made a good many
landings, and kept us on board thus a great part of the day.
At last Preston pointed out to me a little wooden pier or jetty ahead,
which he said was my landing; and the steamer soon drew up to it. I
could see only a broken bank, fifteen feet high, stretching all along
the shore. However a few steps brought us to a receding level bit of
ground, where there was a break in the bank; the shore fell in a
little, and a wooded dell sloped back from the river. A carriage and
servants were waiting here.
Preston and I had arranged that we would walk up and let the ladies
ride. But as soon as they had taken their places I heard myself
called. We declared our purpose, Preston and I; but Miss Pinshon said
the ground was damp and she preferred I should ride; and ordered me
in. I obeyed, bitterly disappointed; so much disappointed that I had
the utmost trouble not to let it be seen. For a little while I did not
know what we were passing. Then curiosity recovered itself. The
carriage was slowly making its way up a rough road. On each side the
wooded banks of the dell shut us in; and these banks seemed to slope
upward as well as the road, for though we mounted and mounted, the
sides of the dell grew no lower. After a little, then, the hollow of
the dell began to grow wider, and its sides softly shelving down; and
through the trees on our left we could see a house, standing high
above us, but on ground which sloped towards the dell, which rose and
widened and spread out to meet it. This sloping ground was studded
with magnificent live oaks; each holding its place in independent
majesty, making no interference with the growth of the rest. Some of
these trees had a girth that half a dozen men with their arms
outstretched in a circle could not span; they were green in spite of
the winter; branching low, and spreading into stately, beautiful heads
of verdure, while grey wreaths of moss hung drooping from some of
them. The house was seen not very distinctly among these trees; it
showed low, and in a long extent of building. I have never seen a
prettier approach to a house than that at Magnolia. My heart was full
of the beauty this first time.
"This is Magnolia, Daisy," said my aunt. "This is your house."
"It appears a fine place," said Miss Pinshon.
"It is one of the finest on the river. This is your property, Daisy."
"It is papa's," I answered.
"Well, it belongs to your mother, and so you may say it belongs to
your father; but it is yours for all that. The arrangement was, as I
know," my aunt went on, addressing Miss Pinshon--"the arrangement in
the marriage settlements was, that the sons should have the father's
property, and the daughters the mother's. There is one son and one
daughter; so they will each have enough."
"But it is mamma's and papa's," I pleaded.
"Oh, well--it will be yours. That is what I mean. Ransom will have
Melbourne and the Virginia estates; and Magnolia is yours. You ought
to have a pretty good education."
I was so astonished at this way of looking at things, that again I
lost part of what was before me. The carriage went gently along,
passing the house, and coming up gradually to the same level; then
making a turn we drove at a better pace back under some of those great
evergreen oaks, till we drew up at the house door. This was at a
corner of the building, which stretched in a long, low line towards
the river. A verandah skirted all that long front. As soon as I was
out of the carriage I ran to the farthest end. I found the verandah
turned the corner; the lawn too. All along the front it sloped to the
dell; at the end of the house it sloped more gently and to greater
distance down to the banks of the river. I could not see the river
itself. The view of the dell at my left hand was lovely. A little
stream which ran in the bottom had been coaxed to form a clear pool in
an open spot, where the sunlight fell upon it, surrounded by a soft
wilderness of trees and climbers. Sweet branches of jessamine waved
there in their season; and a beautiful magnolia had been planted or
cherished there, and carefully kept in view of the house windows. But
the wide lawns, on one side and on the other, grew nothing but the
oaks; the gentle slope was a play-ground for sunshine and shadow, as I
first saw it; for then the shadows of the oaks were lengthening over
the grass, and the waving grey wreaths of moss served sometimes as a
foil, sometimes as an usher to the sunbeams. I stood in a trance of
joy and sorrow; they were fighting so hard for the mastery; till I
knew that my aunt and Miss Pinshon had come up behind me.
"This is a proud place!" my governess remarked.
I believe I looked at her. My aunt laughed; said she must not teach me
that; and led the way back to the entrance of the house. All along the
verandah I noticed that the green-blinded long windows made other
entrances for whoever chose them.
The door was open for us already, and within was a row of dark faces
of men and women, and a show of white teeth that looked like a
welcome. I wondered Aunt Gary did not say more to answer the welcome;
she only dropped a few careless words as she went in, and asked if
dinner was ready. I looked from one to another of the strange faces
and gleaming rows of teeth. These were my mother's servants; that was
something that came near to my heart. I heard inquiries after "Mis'
Felissy" and "Mass' Randolph," and then the question, "Mis' 'Lizy, is
this little missis?" It was asked by an old, respectable-looking,
grey-haired negress. I did not hear my aunt's answer; but I stopped
and turned to the woman and laid my little hand in her withered palm.
I don't know what there was in that minute; only I know that whereas I
touched one hand, I touched a great many hearts. Then and there began
my good understanding with all the coloured people on my mother's
estate of Magnolia. There was a general outburst of satisfaction and
welcome. Some of the voices blessed me; more than one remarked that I
was "like Mass' Randolph;" and I went into the parlour with a warm
spot in my heart, which had been very cold.
I was oddly at home at once. The room indeed was a room I had never
seen before; yet according to the mystery of such things, the
inanimate surroundings bore the mark of the tastes and habits I had
grown up among all my life. A great splendid fire was blazing in the
chimney; a rich carpet was on the floor; the furniture was luxurious
though not showy, and there was plenty of it. So there was plenty of
works of art, in home and foreign manufacture. Comfort, elegance,
prettiness, all around; and through the clear glass of the long
windows the evergreen oaks on the lawn showed like guardians of the
place. I stood at one of them, with the pressure of that joy and
sorrow filling my childish heart.
My aunt presently called me from the window, and bade me let Margaret
take off my things. I got leave to go upstairs with Margaret and take
them off there. So I ran up the low easy flight of stairs--they were
wooden and uncarpeted--to a matted gallery lit from the roof, with
here and there a window in a recess looking upon the lawn. Many rooms
opened into this gallery. I went from one to another. Here were great
wood fires burning too; here were snowy white beds, with light muslin
hangings; and dark cabinets and wardrobes; and mats on the floors,
with thick carpets and rugs laid down here and there. And on one side
and on the other side the windows looked out upon the wide lawn, with
its giant oaks hung with grey wreaths of moss. My heart grew sore
straitened. It was a hard evening, that first evening at Magnolia;
with the loveliness and the brightness, the warm attraction, and the
bitter cold sense of loneliness. I longed to throw myself down and
cry. What I did, was to stand by one of the windows and fight myself
not to let the tears come. If _they_ were here, it would be so happy!
If they were here--oh, if they were here!
I believe the girl spoke to me without my hearing her. But then came
somebody whom I was obliged to hear, shouting "Daisy" along the
gallery. I faced him with a great effort. He wanted to know what I was
doing, and how I liked it, and where my room was.
"Not found it yet?" said Preston. "Is this it? Whose room is this,
hey?--you somebody?"
"Maggie, massa," said the girl, dropping a curtsey.
"Maggie, where is your mistress's room?"
"This is Mis' 'Liza's room, sir."
"Nonsense! Miss 'Liza is only here on a visit--_this_ is your
mistress. Where is her room, hey?"
"Oh stop, Preston!" I begged him. "I am not mistress."
"Yes, you are. I'll roast anybody who says you ain't. Come along, and
you shall choose which room you will have; and if it isn't ready they
will get it ready. Come!"
I made him understand my choice might depend on where other people's
rooms were; and sent him off. Then I sent the girl away--she was a
pleasant-faced mulatto, very eager to help me--and left to myself I
hurriedly turned the key in the lock. I _must_ have some minutes to
myself if I was to bear the burden of that afternoon; and I knelt down
with as heavy a heart, almost, as I ever knew. In all my life I had
never felt so castaway and desolate. When my father and mother first
went from me, I was at least among the places where they had been;
June was with me still, and I knew not Miss Pinshon. The journey had
had its excitements and its interest. Now I was alone; for June had
decided, with tears and woeful looks, that she would not come to
Magnolia; and Preston would be soon on his way back to college. I knew
of only one comfort in the world; that wonderful, "Lo, I am with you."
Does anybody know what that means, who has not made it the single
plank bridge over an abyss?
No one found out that anything was the matter with me, except Preston.
His caresses were dangerous to my composure. I kept him off; and he ate
his dinner with a thundercloud face which foretold war with all
governesses. For me, it was hard work enough to maintain my quiet;
everything made it hard. Each new room, every arrangement of furniture,
every table appointment, though certainly not what I had seen before, yet
seemed so like home that I was constantly missing what would have made it
home indeed. It was the shell without the kernel. The soup ladle seemed
to be by mistake in the wrong hands; Preston seemed to have no business
with my father's carving knife and fork; the sense of desolation pressed
upon me everywhere.
After dinner the ladies went upstairs to choose their rooms, and Miss
Pinshon avowed that she wished to have mine within hers; it would be
proper and convenient, she said. Aunt Gary made no objection; but
there was some difficulty, because all the rooms had independent
openings into the gallery. Miss Pinshon hesitated a moment between one
of two that opened into each other, and another that was pleasanter
and larger but would give her less facility for overlooking my
affairs. For one moment I drew a breath of hope; and then my hope was
quashed. Miss Pinshon chose one of the two that opened into each
other; and my only comfort was the fact that my own room had two doors
and I was not obliged to go through Miss Pinshon's to get to it. Just
as this business was settled, Preston called me out into the gallery
and asked me to go for a walk. I questioned with myself a second
whether I should ask leave; but I had an inward assurance that to ask
leave would be not to go. I felt I must go. I ran back to the room
where my things lay, and in two minutes I was out of the house.
My first introduction to Magnolia! How well I remember every minute
and every foot of the way. It was delicious, the instant I stepped out
among the oaks and into the sunshine. Freedom was there, at all
events.
"Now, Daisy, we'll go to the stables," Preston said, "and see if there
is anything fit for you. I am afraid there isn't; though Edwards told
me he thought there was."
"Who is Edwards?" I asked, as we sped joyfully away through the oaks,
across shade and sunshine.
"Oh, he is the overseer."
"What is an overseer?"
"What is an overseer?--why, he is the man that looks after things."
"What things?" I asked.
"All the things--everything, Daisy; all the affairs of the plantation;
the rice fields and the cotton fields and the people, and everything."
"Where are the stables? and where are we going?"
"Here--just here--a little way off. They are just in a dell over
here--the other side of the house, where the quarters are."
"Quarters?" I repeated.
"Yes. Oh, you don't know anything down here, but you'll learn. The
stables and quarters are in this dell we are coming to; nicely out of
sight. Magnolia is one of the prettiest places on the river."
We had passed through the grove of oaks on the further side of the
house, and then found the beginning of a dell which, like the one by
which we had come up a few hours before, sloped gently down to the
river. In its course it widened out to a little low sheltered open
ground, where a number of buildings stood.
"So the house is between two dells," I said.
"Yes; and on that height up there, beyond the quarters, is the
cemetery; and from there you can see a great many fields and the
river, and have a beautiful view. And there are capital rides all
about the place, Daisy."
When we came to the stables, Preston sent a boy in search of "Darius."
Darius, he told me, was the coachman, and chief in charge of the
stable department. Darius came presently. He was a grey-headed,
fine-looking, most respectable black man. He had driven my mother and
my mother's mother; and being a trusted and important man on the
place, and for other reasons, he had a manner and bearing that were a
model of dignified propriety. Very grave "Uncle Darry" was; stately
and almost courtly in his respectful courtesy; but he gave me a
pleasant smile when Preston presented him.
"We's happy to see Miss Daisy at her own home. Hope de Lord bress
her."
My heart warmed at these words like the ice-bound earth in a spring
day. They were not carelessly spoken, nor was the welcome. My feet
trod the greensward more firmly. Then all other thoughts were for the
moment put to flight by Preston's calling for the pony and asking
Darius what he thought of him, and Darry's answer.
"Very far, massa; very far. Him no good for not'ing."
While I pondered what this judgment might amount to, the pony was
brought out. He was larger than Loupe, and had not Loupe's peculiar
symmetry of mane and tail: he was a fat dumpy little fellow, sleek and
short, dapple grey, with a good long tail and a mild eye. Preston
declared he had no shape at all and was a poor concern of a pony; but
to my eyes he was beautiful. He took one or two sugarplums from my
hand with as much amenity as if we had been old acquaintances. Then a
boy was put on him, who rode him up and down with a halter.
"He'll do, Darius," said Preston.
"For little missis? Just big enough, massa. Got no tricks at all, only
he no like work. Not much spring in him."
"Daisy must take the whip, then. Come and let us go look at some of
the country where you will ride. Are you tired, Daisy?"
"Oh no," I said. "But wait a minute, Preston. Who lives in all those
houses?"
"The people. The hands. They are away in the fields at work now."
"Does Darius live there?"
"Of course. They all live here."
"I should like to go nearer, and see the houses."
"Daisy, it is nothing on earth to see. They are all just alike, and
you see them from here."
"I want to look in," I said, moving down the slope.
"Daisy," said Preston, "you are just as fond of having your way
as----"
"As what? I do not think I am, Preston."
"I suppose nobody thinks he is," grumbled Preston, following me,
"except the fellows who can't get it."
I had by this time almost forgotten Miss Pinshon. I had almost come to
think that Magnolia might be a pleasant place. In the intervals when
the pony was out of sight, I had improved my knowledge of the old
coachman; and every look added to my liking. There was something I
could not read that more and more drew me to him. A simplicity in his
good manners, a placid expression in his gravity, a staid reserve in
his humility, were all there; and more yet. Also the scene in the dell
was charming to me. The ground about the negro cottages was kept neat;
they were neatly built of stone and stood round the sides of a
quadrangle; while on each side and below the wooded slopes of ground
closed in the picture. Sunlight was streaming through and brightening
up the cottages, and resting on Uncle Darry's swart face. Down through
the sunlight I went to the cottages. The first door stood open, and I
looked in. At the next I was about to knock, but Preston pushed open
the door for me; and so he did for a third and a fourth. Nobody was in
them. I was a good deal disappointed. They were empty, bare, dirty,
and seemed to be very forlorn. What a set of people my mother's hands
must be, I thought. Presently I came upon a ring of girls, a little
larger than I was, huddled together behind one of the cottages. There
was no manners about them. They were giggling and grinning, hopping on
one foot, and going into other awkward antics; not the less that most
of them had their arms filled with little black babies. I had got
enough for that day, and turning about, left the dell with Preston.
At the head of the dell, Preston led off in a new direction, along a wide
avenue that ran through the woods. Perfectly level and smooth, with the
woods closing in on both sides and making long vistas through their boles
and under their boughs. By and by we took another path that led off from
this one, wide enough for two horses to go abreast. The pine trees were
sweet overhead and on each hand, making the light soft and the air
fragrant. Preston and I wandered on in delightful roaming; leaving the
house and all that it contained at an unremembered distance. Suddenly we
came out upon a cleared field. It was many acres large; in the distance a
number of people were at work. We turned back again.
"Preston," I said, after a silence of a few minutes,--"there seemed to
be no women in those cottages. I did not see any."
"I suppose not," said Preston; "because there were not any to see."
"But had all those little babies no mothers?"
"Yes, of course, Daisy; but they were in the field."
"The mothers of those little babies?"
"Yes. What about it? Look here--are you getting tired?"
I said no; and he put his arm round me fondly, so as to hold me up a
little; and we wandered gently on, back to the avenue, then down its
smooth course further yet from the house, then off by another wood
path through the pines on the other side. This was a narrower path,
amidst sweeping pine branches and hanging creepers, some of them
prickly, which threw themselves all across the way. It was not easy
getting along. I remarked that nobody seemed to come there much.
"I never came here myself," said Preston, "but I know it must lead out
upon the river somewhere, and that's what I am after. Hollo! we are
coming to something. There is something white through the trees. I
declare, I believe----"
Preston had been out in his reckoning, and a second time had brought me
where he did not wish to bring me. We came presently to an open place, or
rather a place where the pines stood a little apart; and there in the
midst was a small enclosure. A low brick wall surrounded a square bit of
ground, with an iron gate on one side of the square; within, the grassy
plot was spotted with the white marble of tombstones. There were large
and small. Overhead, the great pine trees stood and waved their long
branches gently in the wind. The place was lonely and lovely. We had
come, as Preston guessed, to the river, and the shore was here high; so
that we looked down upon the dark little stream far below us. The
sunlight, getting low by this time, hardly touched it; but streamed
through the pine trees and over the grass, and gilded the white marble
with gold.
"I did not mean to bring you here," said Preston, "I did not know I
was bringing you here. Come, Daisy--we'll go and try again."
"Oh stop!" I said--"I like it. I want to look at it."
"It is the cemetery," said Preston. "That tall column is the monument
of our great--no, of our great-great-grandfather; and this brown one
is for mamma's father. Come, Daisy!----"
"Wait a little," I said. "Whose is that with the vase on top?"
"Vase?" said Preston--"it's an urn. It is an urn, Daisy. People do not
put vases on tombstones."
I asked what the difference was.
"The difference? O Daisy, Daisy! Why vases are to put flowers in; and
urns--I'll tell you, Daisy,--I believe it is because the Romans used
to burn the bodies of their friends and gather up the ashes and keep
them in a funeral urn. So an urn comes to be appropriate to a
tombstone."
"I do not see how," I said.
"Why because an urn comes to be an emblem of mortality and all that.
Come, Daisy; let us go."
"I think a vase of flowers would be a great deal nicer," I said. "We
do not keep the ashes of our friends."
"We don't put signs of joy over their graves either," said Preston.
"I should think we might," I said meditatively. "When people have gone
to Jesus--they must be very glad!"
Preston burst out with an expression of hope that Miss Pinshon would
"do something" for me; and again would have led me away; but I was not
ready to go. My eye, roving beyond the white marble and the low brick
wall, had caught what seemed to be a number of meaner monuments,
scattered among the pine trees and spreading down the slope of the
ground on the further side, where it fell off towards another dell. In
one place a bit of board was set up; further on a cross; then I saw a
great many bits of board and crosses; some more and some less
carefully made; and still as my eye roved about over the ground they
seemed to start up to view in every direction; too low and too humble
and too near the colour of the fallen pine leaves to make much show
unless they were looked for. I asked what they all were.
"Those? Oh, those are for the people, you know."
"The people?" I repeated.
"Yes, the people--the hands."
"There are a great many of them," I remarked.
"Of course," said Preston. "You see, Daisy, there have been I don't
know how many hundreds of hands here for a great many years, ever
since mother's grandfather's time."
"I should think," said I, looking at the little board slips and
crosses among the pine cones on the ground,--"I should think they
would like to have something nicer to put up over their graves."
"Nicer? those are good enough," said Preston. "Good enough for them."
"I should think they would like to have something better," I said.
"Poor people at the North have nicer monuments, I know. I never saw
such monuments in my life."
"Poor people!" cried Preston. "Why these are the _hands_, Daisy,--the
coloured people. What do they want of monuments?"
"Don't they care?" said I, wondering.
"Who cares if they care? I don't know whether they care," said
Preston, quite out of patience with me, I thought.
"Only, if they cared, I should think they would have something nicer,"
I said. "Where do they all go to church, Preston?"
"Who?" said Preston.
"These people?"
"What people? The families along the river do you mean?"
"No, no," said I; "I mean _our_ people--these people; the hands. You
say there are hundreds of them. Where do they go to church?"
I faced Preston now in my eagerness; for the little board crosses and
the forlorn look of the whole burying-ground on the side of the hill
had given me a strange feeling. "Where do they go to church,
Preston!"
"Nowhere, I reckon."
I was shocked, and Preston was impatient. How should he know, he said;
he did not live at Magnolia. And he carried me off. We went back to
the avenue and slowly bent our steps again towards the house; slowly,
for I was tired, and we both, I think, were busy with our thoughts.
Presently I saw a man, a negro, come into the avenue a little before
us with a bundle of tools on his back. He went as slowly as we, with
an indescribable, purposeless gait. His figure had the same look too,
from his lop-sided old white hat to every fold of his clothing, which
seemed to hang about him just as it would as lieve be off as on. I
begged Preston to hail him and ask him the question about church
going, which sorely troubled me. Preston was unwilling and resisted.
"What do you want me to do that for, Daisy?"
"Because Aunt Gary told Miss Pinshon that we have to drive six miles
to go to church. Do ask him where they go!"
"They don't go _anywhere_, Daisy," said Preston, impatiently; "they
don't care a straw about it, either. All the church they care about is
when they get together in somebody's house and make a great muss."
"Make a muss!" said I.
"Yes; a regular muss; shouting and crying and having what they call a
good time. That's what some of them do; but I'll wager if I were to
ask him about going to church, this fellow here would not know what I
mean."
This did by no means quiet me. I insisted that Preston should stop the
man; and at last he did. The fellow turned and came back towards us,
ducking his old white hat. His face was just like the rest of him; there
was no expression in it but an expression of limp submissiveness.
"Sambo, your mistress wants to speak to you."
"Yes, massa. I's George, massa."
"George," said I, "I want to know where you go to church?"
"Yes, missis. What missis want to know?"
"Where do you and all the rest go to church?"
"Reckon don't go nowhar, missis."
"Don't you ever go to church?"
"Church for white folks, missis; bery far; long ways to ride."
"But you and the rest of the people--don't you go anywhere to church?
to hear preaching?"
"Reckon not, missis. De preachin's don't come dis way, likely."
"Can you read the Bible, George?"
"Dunno read, missis. Never had no larnin'."
"Then don't you know anything about what is in the Bible? don't you
know about Jesus?"
"Reckon don't know not'ing, missis."
"About Jesus?" said I again.
"'Clar, missis, dis nigger don't know not'ing, but de rice and de
corn. Missis talk to Darry; he most knowin' nigger on plantation;
knows a heap."
"There!" exclaimed Preston, "that will do. You go off to your supper,
George--and Daisy, you had better come on if you want anything
pleasant at home. What on earth have you got now by that? What is the
use? Of course they do not know anything; and why should they? They
have no time and no use for it."
"They have no time on Sundays?" I said.
"Time to sleep. That is what they do. That is the only thing a negro
cares about, to go to sleep in the sun. It's all nonsense, Daisy."
"They would care about something else, I dare say," I answered, "if
they could get it."
"Well, they can't get it. Now, Daisy, I want you to let these fellows
alone. You have nothing to do with them, and you did not come to
Magnolia for such work. You have nothing on earth to do with them."
I had my own thoughts on the subject, but Preston was not a sympathising
hearer. I said no more. The evergreen oaks about the house came presently
in sight; then the low verandah that ran round three sides of it; then we
came to the door, and my walk was over.